Duel for Love
by Lolly4Holly
Summary: How can one man have so much attention and be so clueless? Grissom was fine just breezing through his life, filling his days with work, roller coasters and bugs. He didn't think he needed anything else, but there's a sudden feeling of an empty space in his life that needs to be filled with the love of a companion. GSR. COMPLETE.
1. Gestation

**Duel for Love**

 **Author:** Lolly4Holly

 **Pairings:** GSR - Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle

 **Warnings:** Sex. Violence. Drugs. Alcohol. The usual CSI stuff.

 **Summary:** Lady Heather, Sofia Curtis, Julia Gilbert, Lily Flynn, Teri Miller, Wendy Simms, Mandy Webster, Sara Sidle... how can one man have so much attention and be so clueless? Grissom was fine just breezing through his life, filling his days with work, roller coasters and bugs. He didn't think he needed anything else, but there's a sudden feeling of an empty space in his life that needs to be filled with the love of a companion. At least that's what he's hoping for, but he gets a lot more than he bargained for, making him wonder if he made the right choice.

 **Author's Note:** Thought of this idea after watching some rerun episodes of CSI: Las Vegas with Lady Heather and Grissom in them. This is a GSR fic. I'm saying this because I don't want people to assume that I'm going to pair him with someone else from the way the characters interact and flame me again. My last big GSR fic a lot of people jumped to conclusions thinking I was pairing, Sara with Nick, simply because I did a few scenes with them together. I assure you, this is a GSR fic all the way, but there will be some bumps in the road. Set around seasons 3/4/5/6 but it's a little AU-ish because I jumbled up the episodes a little to suit my story. You may recognise parts of episodes, but don't expect the same outcome. :)

 **Thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoy this story. I've written most of this story already, but it still needs some work. I'll upload as regularly as I can. I'm beta reading it myself at the moment, because everyone I've asked is too busy over the summer, so all mistakes are my own. As always, I only ask that if you've read and enjoyed my work, please remember to review. I'd love to hear what you think.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **~ Holly**

* * *

 **Chapter One - Gestation**

In a mother's eyes, a child can do no wrong.

If there's a report of a problem in school, it's clearly the teachers fault. If they're fighting with another student, it's clearly the other child's fault, specifically the bad parents who raised that child and if your daughter tells you she decided to drop out of Harvard to travel for a while, but the school board tell you something different, they're clearly lying.

"My daughter would never show up drunk to an exam. This is preposterous." Lady Heather slammed the letter she had received onto The Dean's desk, rolling her eyes at the woman. "Everything you've written here is a complete fabrication of the truth. Zoe is a straight A student. Why would she need to steal the exam results? She knows all of this like the back of her hand."

When Zoe was six years old, she took her to the park for a day out on the swings. She watched as another mother scolded her daughter for no entire reason, before she gave that woman a piece of her mind. She claimed that Zoe had purposely kicked her daughter after she asked to go on the swing. Of course the woman was lying, Zoe would never do such a thing. She was a good girl. It was clearly the other girl's fault for walking in front of her when she was swinging through the air.

"Ms Kessler," The smartly dressed woman climbed to her feet from her desk, turning the letter to face the clueless mother. "Believe what you will, we've been observing your daughter here for the last two years and quite frankly, I think you don't know what she's capable of. This isn't the first time we've warned her about her drinking on campus. She not only stole the exam results from a locked office, but she sold them to other students. One student came forwards with this information..."

"Well, they're lying." Heather snapped at her. "My daughter has no reason to lie to me. She told me that she's been set up. This other student is clearly framing her, because they're jealous of Zoe's academic achievements."

The Dean couldn't help but smile at the naive woman. "Your daughter's behaviour this past year has been outrageous. We will not accommodate someone like her in this school. Your daughter is out of Harvard, Ms Kessler. I suggest you accept that. Now if you don't mind, I have a meeting to get to." She glanced at her watch, before she packed up her briefcase on the desk. "I think your daughter needs some serious help. The longer that you ignore this, the worse it will get."

"It's more likely that you are the one who needs help, you stuck up old bag." Storming out of the Dean's office, Lady Heather kicked her heel at the wall outside, giving the receptionist a glare. She was usually so held together, but she couldn't control this emotional outburst where her daughter was concerned.

Her daughter would never do any of these things they were accusing her of. Sleeping with a man at least double her age, destroying school property, drinking on campus, stealing exam results... it just wasn't like her.

These lies had to stop. What did they have against her daughter to target her like this?

* * *

Stepping into the locker room of the Las Vegas crime lab, Sara Sidle sighed softly, dropping to the bench in the middle of the room. It had been a long day. She wrapped up her case of the overdose victim in the early hours of the morning, so her supervisor decided to stick her with Catherine for the rest of the day. She would have been grateful had it been any other case, but she wasn't ready to deal with the beaten and broken body of an abused victim so soon.

Courtney Dell, forty two years old and so like her mother.

The only difference, Courtney wasn't strong enough to end the violence on her own. She couldn't believe the woman had just suffered through it for twenty two years of marriage, raising three children in the process. Sara had watched her own mother do the same thing for nearly eight years of her life, but unlike Courtney, her mother decided to take things into her own hands and stab her father to death. She used to hate her for what she did, taking her father away from her like that. She used to believe that her mother was the one who ruined their whole lives, but the more she started to understand the control these abusers had over the victims, the more she started to hate herself for never being there for her mother.

Glancing up as the door beside her opened, Sara allowed her lips to tug into a smile, seeing the youngest member of their team all dressed up. "Wow, nice suit, Greg." She whistled. "Hot date?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be wearing this. They'd leg it out the door before I even got close wearing this." He remarked, stepping over to his locker. "I'm giving my evidence in court today. For my case. This is part of the job that I would like to avoid. I look like a total dork." Greg anxiously combed his fingers through his flat hair, dying for some gel to stick it up.

"Wow Greg, I did not know that your hair could do that. It looks so tamed." Sara pushed herself to her feet, gently turning the younger man to face her. She flattened a spike in his hair, before she adjusted the neck of his tie, tucking it beneath the collar of his freshly ironed shirt. "You look good. Very smart. They're gonna think you're a pro and a part of the nerd squad." She assured him, brushing some lint off his shoulder.

"Nerd squad?" He cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

"Yeah, that's what they call us science types. Don't forget to refer to your victim by name, makes it feel more like you care about bringing them justice and don't look at the suspect when you're talking about your evidence. Look at the jury, they're the ones who need to hear what you're saying. Just remember to speak slowly. I know that's hard for you, especially when you're nervous, but you want the jury to hear every word you say."

Sara smiled at him, dusting off the lint from his suit jacket.

"Use simple terms. Grissom once told me to think of the jury as a group of first graders. Pretend that they don't know anything about anything, which is probably true anyway. Don't bring emotion into it and don't let the defence attorney muddle you up. Stick to the facts. Don't be nervous, you're gonna nail it."

"Thanks." He inhaled a deep breath, feeling a little more at ease about it. "Are you heading home?"

"Wish I could," Sara sighed, turning towards her locker behind her. "I'm preparing myself to go and interrogate our domestic violence murder suspect with Catherine. The abusive bastard was denying any involvement in his wife's murder all the way over here. There's years of evidence, going back to the night of their wedding. I'm really not looking forward to the next part."

"Can't you sit it out?" Greg queried, pushing his locker closed. "I'm sure Catherine won't mind. We all have our tough cases. Nick can't be alone with child abusers. Remember that guy he almost threw through the window before Brass got in there? Catherine loses it with rapists and Grissom completely flipped over that dead baby case."

"He did?" Sara glanced round at him, trying to recall the last time she ever saw the man flip out. She didn't think it was possible. He just didn't express that kind of emotion.

"Yeah, don't you remember? Back when I was in the lab. I was processing the results of a different case. Grissom wanted his evidence to jump the queue to find the baby. He destroyed half the evidence from one of my other cases by throwing it out in the hall in his temper. I had to get new samples from Doc Robbins. You know how much he hates that." He bent to tie the shoe lace of his posh new shoes, straightening up with a big deep breath. "Into the fire I go."

"You're gonna be fine." Sara assured him once again, giving him a smile as he walked away. "Good luck." She reached for the bag in the bottom of her locker once he was gone, pulling out the little box she had stashed inside. She had a few minutes to spare before the interrogation started, but she still wasn't sure if she really wanted to know.

It wasn't exactly something she had ever thought about. Come to think of it, she hadn't thought of a lot of things.

Sara had never pictured a big white wedding as a child. She had a foster sister who used to act out her own wedding with a pillow case over her head and a teddy bear as a groom, but Sara never saw the appeal. She hated playing with dolls growing up, especially the ones that cried and wet their diapers. She preferred to bury her nose in a book. Usually a crime thriller tale, but she read the occasional love story that wasn't overly cheesy and usually contained a tragedy.

When the girls in Highschool started discussing the names of their future children or what their future husbands did for a living, Sara was focusing on her studies, eager to get as far away from her old life as she could. She certainly never pictured her prince charming, her fantasy wedding or the prospect of becoming pregnant and having children of her own one day.

After everything her own mother put her through, motherhood for herself was the last thing on her mind.

She didn't want a child. She didn't want to be pregnant.

It just wasn't something that she wanted in life.

Sighing again, Sara tore open the box, deciding that taking the test was the only way to find out for sure. She couldn't make any future plans without knowing what she was planning for. If the result came back positive, then she could start worrying about it all. But if it was negative, she could forget it ever happened and just get on with her life.

She only prayed that she got the result she wanted.

Making a bee line for the ladies room, Sara made sure no one else was inside by checking the other stalls, before she locked the exterior door. She proceeded to read the back of the pregnancy test box at least six or seven times. She had never taken one herself before, but she had done it for a victim before. She had a cup of urine then, holding the end of the pregnancy test in it for a few seconds, before it came back with the pregnant result a few minutes later.

She hoped that wasn't the result this time around, but there was only one way to find out.

Sara took the test into the first stall with her, loosening the jeans around her hips, before she squatted over the toilet bowl. She never liked sitting down on public toilets. She knew the cleaners in this building were good, but it was still a public toilet. She tried to angle the test into the right position as the flow started, making another quick prayer for the test to be negative.

She wasn't the religious type, but if the man upstairs was ever going to help her out, now would be the perfect time.

Once she was done, Sara capped the test, leaving it on the toilet tank, while she washed her hands. She tried the first two tanks of the soap dispensers, but they were both empty. The third one finally squirted out some bubbles, but it wasn't enough. She moved over to the fourth, noticing a heart covered hair clip on the sink counter.

"Aunt Sara?" A small voice called from behind her.

Sara quickly spun around, spotting little, Lindsey Willows sat on the toilet in the last open stall, with tears in her eyes. It was the disabled toilet, so she didn't think to check it. The toilet hadn't been used by anyone in nearly three years.

Sara quickly dried her hands, feeling a little awkward as she made her way over to the crying little girl. "Hi, Lindsey. What are you doing here? Does your Mom know that you're here?"

Seven year old, Lindsey rubbed the tears from her eyes, shaking her head at the woman. "Dad dropped me off."

"Isn't it his day to look after you?" Sara noticed a heart covered clip on the left side of Lindsey's little head, pinning back her strawberry blonde hair, but the one on the right was missing. That solved that mystery. "Let's get you up, yeah?" She double checked that it was okay with her, before she helped her off the toilet.

Lindsey pulled her panties up herself, showing a little too much of her leg as she did.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Sara noticed the bruise on the back of her leg right away. "Did somebody do this to you?" Letting her CSI brain kick in, she examined the strap shaped bruise on the thigh of the little girl, guessing that a belt caused it from the size and length of it. "Did Daddy do this to you? Sweetie, you won't be in trouble, but you have to tell me if someone hurt you. Tell me the truth."

Lindsey continued to rub her puffy little eyes, giving the woman in front of her a slight nod. "Don't tell my Mommy." She grabbed hold of the woman's hands in front of her, giving her a pleading look. "She'll be mad."

"She'll be mad at your Daddy, not you. He hurt you, Lindsey. He's not allowed to do that."

"No. I broke it." The child protested, clutching Sara's hands a little tighter. "I didn't mean to. Daddy got mad at me. He said Mommy will be mad too."

"What did you break?" Sara queried, trying to keep her mind focused rather than losing her temper with a man she barely knew.

"The mirror in Mommy's room." Lindsey confessed, releasing Sara's hand to rub her eye again. "I was practising my cartwheels in the house, because it was raining outside. Daddy told me off for doing it in the family room, so I went upstairs. Mommy's room is the biggest, so I practised in there. I fell into Mommy's mirror and it smashed."

"Then your Daddy hit you?" Sara guessed.

Lindsey quickly shook her head, making Sara furious as he had clearly scared her into silence. She left the ladies room with Lindsey at her side, frantically searching the lab for her mother. She found her in the break room, laughing over a cup of coffee with Warrick.

"Have you seen what he's done to her?" Sara barged straight into the room, dragging the child in behind her. "Look what he did to your daughter. How can you leave her with a man like that, Catherine? You're supposed to be her mother. Do you know how irresponsible this is?"

"What?" Catherine quickly set down her coffee, rushing over to her daughter's side. She immediately picked her up as she saw the tears in her eyes, hugging her tightly against her chest. "Hi, sweetheart. Did Daddy just drop you off? Why didn't he come find me?"

"Maybe because he felt guilty." Sara continued to shout. "Show your mother what he did, Lindsey. Show her!"

"But..." Lindsey trembled as her mother placed her down on a chair, thinking she was in trouble as her mother examined the bruise for herself. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean to."

"He's even got her thinking that this was her fault!"

"Sara... would you just calm down." Catherine cut her off, gently lifting her daughter's chin to look her in the eyes. "Honey, can you tell me what happened? You're not in any trouble, but you have to tell me the truth." She couldn't believe that the Eddie she loved and trusted would do such a thing to their own daughter. Sure the man was an asshole, but he treated their daughter like she was a princess. The man she knew would never lay a hand on her. "C'mon sweetie, how did you get the bruise?"

"I fell into your mirror." Lindsey finally spoke, anxiously looking at the three adults around her. Boy was she in trouble now. "I was practising cartwheels in your bedroom."

"And you fell into my mirror?" Catherine examined the bruise a little closer, noticing the odd imprints of her floral engraved mirror frame. "Is that where you got this bruise?" She could see the almost perfect imprint of one of the flowers from her frame.

Lindsey nodded her head, letting her tears flow again. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean to."

"I don't care about the mirror, Linds." She double checked her daughter for signs of any other injuries, relieved that Eddie didn't do this. "Daddy didn't hurt you?" She had to ask.

"She's lying!" Sara protested, watching the child shaking her head. "He's clearly scared her into silence."

"Sara, would you just..." Catherine grabbed her by the arm, leading her out into the hall.

"Hey Linds," Warrick tried to distract her daughter. "Would you like a hot chocolate? I'm sure we have some stashed around here somewhere." He smiled at her, making a move towards the kitchen cupboards. He glanced over his shoulder to check on his colleagues, worried about what Catherine might do.

"Thank you for your concern, but she's my daughter." Catherine pointed out to the other woman. "Let me handle this, okay? Eddie would never hurt her."

"Choosing your ex over your own daughter, that'll get you far." She scoffed, threatening, "If you don't report this, I will."

"Just stay out of it, Sara." The woman snapped at her this time. "This is my business. Did you even ask, Lindsey what happened or did you just jump to your own conclusions like you've been doing all day with our case? Every time we get a case with even the hint of domestic violence, you go off the deep end like this. What is your problem, Sara?"

"My problem? What's your problem, Catherine?" She immediately turned it around on her. "At least I don't let my feelings for men cloud my judgement about the cases we work. Just because he's good in bed, does not mean he's good for your kid. Why don't you try thinking with your brain rather than what's under your skirt?"

Catherine folded her arms across her chest, a look of shock on her face as she glared at the woman in front of her.

"Sidle!"

A voice barked her name from behind them, before Catherine even had a chance to speak.

Ecklie.

Of course.

"My office, now." He ordered.

Sara turned to make sure it was who she thought it was, sighing heavily it was so typical of lab supervisor, Conrad Ecklie to walk by at a time like that. She reluctantly followed him back to his office, listening to his usual bullshit of a disciplinary action.

"This isn't the first time I've had to call you in here, Sara." He closed his office door behind her, making his way towards his desk. "I'm very disappointed in you. You're a law enforcement officer. An outburst of emotions to a fellow colleague like this reflects badly on us. You're here to represent the Las Vegas Police Department to the city that we protect. That means that you are expected to conduct yourself in an appropriate manner, both in and outside of the lab." Ecklie disciplined her, pulling her file out of his desk again. "What is your beef with Catherine Willows?"

"I don't have a beef with her." She used the man's own term, rolling her eyes at him. "What I said... it was taken completely out of context... you have no idea what we were even talking about."

"It's not the first time you've shouted at her in full view of your colleagues though, is it? Catherine Willows is a supervisor. She's your superior, which means you treat her with respect. I can't let this go on any longer." He examined Sara's file in front of him. "You have a total lack of respect for your colleagues, your superiors... if Gil even bothered to fill out your performance reviews, you'd be long gone from this place."

"That's because he's not a kiss ass like you." She immediately snapped. Once she got started, she couldn't seem to stop though. "He prioritises the victims over lab politics. The way it's supposed to be. Maybe if you did that, you could be at least half as good as him, but you're not. You're a rubbish CSI, so they bumped you up to management to keep you away from the real work."

"One week suspension, without pay." Ecklie bellowed, pointing his finger at her. "And don't go running to Grissom to bail you out again. He might let your behaviour slide on a daily basis around here, because he has some kind of soft spot for you, but he's not here at the moment, so I don't have to put up with it. You're lucky I'm not firing you. Get out of here, I'll have Stokes finish up your case with Willow. At least he has respect for his superiors, even if he is a total screw up."

Sara rolled her eyes at the man, feeling her blood starting to boil. "You know what, you can stick your stupid suspension, you ignorant asshole. I quit." She barked back at him.

"If that's what you want, fine. Get out of my sight." He flung his arm towards the door.

Sara unclipped the ID from her jeans, tossing it onto his desk. "Asshole!" She stormed out of his office, desperately wanting to put her fist through something. She settled for clenching her nails tightly into her palm instead, avoiding eye contact with anyone else who could piss her off.

Seriously, could this day get any worse?

Remembering her discarded pregnancy test in the ladies room, Sara hurried back before anyone noticed her, finding the stick right where she left it. She flipped it over, feeling her heart begin to slow as she looked at the tiny screen.

It couldn't be true. There was no way this could be real. How was this even possible?

Pregnant!

She was pregnant.

Pregnant . . . pregnant . . . pregnant.

No doubt about it.

"Fuck!"

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy your summer!**

 **~ Holly**


	2. Red Tape

**Chapter Two - Red Tape**

"With all due respect, Gil, and I mean all due respect, you weren't here to witness her reckless behaviour." Conrad Ecklie argued back at the man. He knew there would be consequences once the graveyard shift supervisor returned from his conference out in San Diego, but he wasn't expecting it so early in the day. "Sidle is a loose cannon. Loaded and ready to fire. Action needs to be taken against her, before she pulls the trigger. You weren't here to give it, so I did. I want her gone." He warned the other man.

"I'm not firing her."

"C'mon, Gil." Ecklie rolled his eyes. "She makes this department look bad. What if she went off on Willows like that out in the field and the press were there to witness it? Shouting at her supervisor in the middle of the lab like that... the things she was saying to her... how have you let her get away with it for this long? She has no respect for authority." He shook his head in disappointment. "I want her out of here. Maybe we can transfer her back to San Francisco, if they'll even take her back that is. Did you read her record from there before you hired her? Probably not."

"I'm not firing her." Grissom spoke a little slower this time, adamant on his choice.

"Of course not, because you've got this fantasy of the two of you in your head. News flash, Gil. She's way out of your league and even if she wasn't, you're her supervisor."

"I'm not firing her, because she's one of my best CSI's." Grissom stuck to his original point, without losing his temper like Ecklie was. "Don't take it so personally, Conrad. She's one of the best criminalists we've ever had come through here. She's staying. I'm her supervisor, I'll be the one to decide on her disciplinary action."

"Like that's going to happen." The man remarked, sitting himself down at his desk. "One more screw up and she's gone for good. I'll go over your head to get her out of here, Gil. She's still on a week's suspension." He quickly added. "I don't want to see her back here until next week. If I see her before then, I'll have you both suspended. And I want an apology."

"That depends on whether one is deserved." Grissom turned for the door, wondering what could have provoked, Sara to make her go off like that. He wanted to go and find out for himself right now, but it was still only the start of his shift. He made his way down to autopsy, finding Doctor Albert Robbins just finishing up with the autopsy on his victim.

"Hey Gil, I can put time of death around ten hours ago. Jury's still out on the cause of death, but based on the ligature marks, I'd take a gander at being choked to death. Repeatedly by the amount of bruising." The man pointed out the purplish area around her neck.

"Mm." He agreed with the man, staring at the victim for a moment.

"Gil?" The doctor checked on him. "Something on your mind?"

"Looks like whoever killed her continued to apply pressure, letting go to let her catch her breath, before they started again." Grissom kept his mind focused on work, stepping closer to the table. "Young. Pretty. Raped?"

"Not from what I can see. There's bruising everywhere else, but from the looks of things, she hasn't had sex in months. Violent or otherwise. Still no hit on her ID, your Jane Doe is probably in her late twenties and she gave birth via c-section. It's an old scar." He pointed it out to him. "I gave her print card to Greg, see if she's in the system."

"Prostitute?" Bending to examine her perfectly manicured nails, Grissom pursed his lips together, seeing a scar running across the length of her arm. "Did you do this?"

"She had a metal plate in her arm. Old fracture. No serial number, but I've got David scanning medical records. Have you spoken to Sara yet?" He changed the subject, catching the other man's eyes darting towards him. "I heard that she lost it with Catherine in the lab the other day. Threatened to quit CSI too after Ecklie suspended her. So, have you spoken to her?"

"She's not answering her phone." Grissom straightened up, motioning his attention towards their victim's hair. "She's not a natural red head."

"No, some of the dye came out when David was washing her. I'd say it was dyed quite recently. She's a brunette, should help with the missing persons reports. She also had one green contact in her left eye." The man leant on his crutches, hobbling over to the other table to grab the contact sitting in the container. "She didn't have one in her right eye though. Maybe she lost it at your scene?"

"We didn't find one. But our scene was a body dump, we're still looking for a primary." He took the container out of the Doc's hands, holding it up to the light for a moment.

"You've called her?" Albert got back to the subject of Sara.

"Stop prying." Grissom answered him with a glare, before he motioned towards the container in his hands. "Mind if I take this up?"

"Be my guest."

"Thanks, Al." Grissom stared at the contact for a moment, before he made his way towards the elevator. He wondered how, Sara was feeling as he rode it up to the lab floor, wishing she would just answer her phone so he could hear her voice again, even for just a second. He needed to know what had happened. He needed to know what could provoke her like that, but most of all, he needed to know if she was alright.

"Hi." A woman appeared in front of him on the next floor, giving him a curious look, before she stepped inside. "What floor?" She hovered her hand over the panel.

"Lab. Uh... four, please." He spoke softly, admiring the black cocktail dress she wearing for a moment. He quickly lifted his gaze as she turned to look at him, noticing something familiar about her. "I'm sorry, have we met before?"

"Is that a pick up line?" She chuckled softly. "You don't recognise me?" The woman saw the confusion on his face. She tucked her silver clutch purse under her arm, turning to face the man. "I'm Sofia Curtis." She introduced herself with a handshake. "I usually wear my hair up in the lab." She motioned towards her blonde hair that was now hanging around her shoulders. "Ballistics." She tried to jog his memory a little more.

"Day shift." He finally recalled where he had seen her before. "In the car park, you're usually pulling in, just as I'm pulling out. You worked for Ecklie, CSI three if I recall."

"That's right, still work for him though." She smiled through her painted lips, turning to face the front of the elevator again. "I'm the new shift supervisor for days, while he's running the lab. We first met when I worked in Ballistics a few years ago though. Bobby Dawson works my shift now. Apparently, you're short staffed on graveyard at the moment, so I got called in."

"Ecklie?" He guessed, giving the woman a nod. "As far as I know, we're covering our shift pretty well. We've got two bodies. Willows and Brown are working one case, while Sanders, Stokes and me are working the other. I know the labs not short staffed, so he must have called you in to keep an eye on us. Sorry you got called in on your night off, going anywhere nice?"

Sofia glanced down at her dress, giving him a smirk. "Oh, I wish. Just my mother's retirement party. She's a Captain in the Las Vegas Police Department, or she was. I think she just wanted me there to parade me around in front of her motherless colleagues. She's still disappointed that I chose the path of a scientist rather than the path she chose, so I'm not really missing anything. Other than the usual pep talk to steer my career path in a different direction." She stepped off the elevator as the doors opened to their floor, turning to look at the man behind her. "I don't want to tread on anyone's toes here, but I was brought in to supervise your shift while Conrad is out."

"So I'm reporting to you?" Grissom smiled slightly, taking a step away from her. "Welcome to the Graveyard shift." He decided to keep it civilised, rather than getting mad like Ecklie was expecting. He didn't like it when the man went over his head with decisions like that, but he always enjoyed the opportunity to work with someone new.

* * *

Staring up at the ceiling of her doctor's office, Sara suddenly began to feel a little cold. Sharp goose bumps prickled against her skin, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end and she could barely feel her toes. The windows were shut tight and the door was closed, but she was laying back against a paper covered bed that wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world.

The room wasn't exactly cosy either, the whole thing screamed 'pregnancy'.

By the door she came in through, there was a large poster of a big pregnant belly with the full image of a baby inside. She cringed at the sight of it, darting her eyes between the hundreds of baby photos beside that. They must have been baby's that her doctor had delivered before, but it didn't make her feel any easier about it.

On the opposite wall, there was a picture of an operating theatre, clearly diagrammed for the set up of a caesarean section. She felt a little sick at the thought of going through something like that, but then she cast her eyes towards the three dimensional model of a pregnant woman's lower half. She could see a baby at least half way out of the model, making her feel a little queasy.

It was definitely the room that was making her feel cold.

"Alright, Sara. Sorry about the wait." Her doctor finally reappeared from the other door, closing it behind her.

Doctor Cassie Lambert was in her late forties or something, and she always wore way too much makeup. Her foundation wasn't exactly thinly spread. She always had clumps of it on her cheeks and forehead, not quite spreading it close enough to the edges of her face either. Some of her blue eye shadow powder always ended up above her eyebrows and she somehow managed to get lipstick on her teeth every time she applied a new layer.

It wasn't exactly a comforting sign that her doctor wasn't very good with her hands.

Sara only liked her because she didn't ask too many personal questions and she was always willing to reschedule appointments to fit around her schedule. If she could find another doctor that she could trust with her lady bits, she'd happily switch over, but for now, she was stuck with the clown.

"Alright." The woman grabbed her lab coat off the stand, pulling it on over her shoulders. She quickly swept her dirty blonde hair out from the collar, making her way over to Sara. "Your blood tests came back positive, you really are pregnant."

"Oh." Sara knew that coming in, but she was hoping that the test she took was just wrong. "So, what now?"

"Now, I suggest that we do a dating scan. Then we'll do your blood pressure and some general health checkups. We'll start with the scan." She shut off all the lights, taking a seat beside the woman. "I take it that this wasn't planned."

"Not exactly." Sara shook her head, anxiously biting her lip as her doctor started setting up the monitor beside her. "Will this be able to show you exactly how far along I am?"

"A rough idea based on the size." Doctor Lambert nodded, turning towards her patient. "Can you just roll your top up for me? Thank you." She smiled at her, showing off the lipstick on her teeth as she tucked some paper into the top of her patient's jeans. She grabbed a bottle off her stand next, squeezing a large glob of cold blue gel onto her stomach. "Alright, let's see what we can see. Shall we?" She turned the monitor towards, Sara, grabbing the device to run through the cold gel. "Well, it looks like you definitely are pregnant. That certainly didn't take long to find."

"Damn." Sara muttered, putting her arm behind her head to prop herself up a little. "Is that it?" She tried to see it, but it all just looked black and grey to her.

"Here's your uterus." Her doctor pointed out the image on the screen, so she knew what she was looking at. "There's the cervix. This dark patch here, that's the sac and there's your baby." She pointed out the gummy bear looking thing. As she moved it around a little, Sara started to see it more clearly. "There they are. It looks a little odd at this stage, but they're still developing. Looks like you're quite early on. Five, maybe six weeks."

"Six?" Sara wasn't sure she heard her right, she quickly calculated back, giving out a soft sigh as she realised it was the right man. "And you're sure about that? It couldn't maybe be a little further along?" She worried as that would mean someone else was the father of her unborn baby.

"I wouldn't think so. Based on what you told me about your symptoms and the date of your last period, I'd say that six weeks is the max this little one could be. Can you see these little buds on the body here? They're the arms and legs, they won't start developing for a few weeks yet." Doctor Lambert assured her, taking some measurements just to be sure.

Sara stared up at the ceiling rather than the monitor, terrified about what she was going to do next. She felt as though an alien had invaded her body. She didn't think a real mother was supposed to feel that about her child, but she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of this thing inside of her.

At the end of her appointment, Sara made her way off home, finding someone unexpected waiting in the hallway of her apartment building. She quickly stuffed the scan picture she had been analysing into the back pocket of her jeans, retrieving her keys as she made her way towards him.

"What do you want? I told you that I'm not into giving out second chances, especially to cheaters."

"Sara, it really wasn't what you thought." The paramedic pushed himself off the wall, jumping straight into defending himself again. He still looked so cute and perfect, annoying her even more. She wished a giant zit would pop up on his forehead or his hair would fall out so he wouldn't look so good all the time, while she felt like crap. "I can't stop going over what happened between us in my head."

"Try harder, Hank. We're over." She put it simply for him. "You not only cheated on me, but you lied to me too. I had to find out from a crime scene victim that you were dating somebody else. How was your trip in Tahiti by the way?" She forced the key into her door, shrugging off his arm as he tried to reach out for her. "Don't you dare touch me."

"I just need you to explain something."

"Me?" Sara scoffed, rolling her eyes at him. "Why on earth would I need to explain myself to you? You're the cheater, not me."

"Not to me." Hank stuffed his hands into the pockets of his paramedic's uniform. He still looked mighty fine in that outfit, so she did her best to try and look away. "My fiancé found out about us from a colleague at work. She thinks that we were sleeping together after I proposed to her, but I assured her that we were over way before then. I just need you to tell her the truth for me. She's postponing the wedding."

Sara struggled not to laugh. "I'm not doing you any favours, Hank. You never told me you even had a girlfriend when we met. Looks like you kept her in the dark too, so why should I help you out? Trust me, she's better off without you." Entering her apartment, Sara slammed her door shut behind her, smiling to herself. She was so relieved that there was no chance in hell he was the father to this parasite growing inside of her.

It was bad enough that she was pregnant, but if she had to carry his child around for the next nine months, she might have considered some more drastic measures to get rid of it.

The actual father still had no idea though and she was considering keeping that little fact out of their relationship for now. She still had no idea if what they had was real. She knew her feelings for him were strong, but he was so hard to read. She thought the fact that he invited her to stay here in Las Vegas to work with him was a clear sign, but then nothing for such a long time. He was one of the most difficult people to read, but he was also the most amazing man she had ever met.

When he finally asked her out to dinner, she assumed that it was work related, but by the fourth or fifth time he asked her to accompany him to dinner, she thought that he must like her. She didn't know how to deal with all the mixed signals he was giving her in the beginning, but she thought that the fact they slept together after three or four years of working alongside each other, must mean something.

If only she had remembered some form of protection, she wouldn't be in the situation she was in right now and ruined the whole thing.

Hearing a knock at her front door, Sara sighed heavily, trying to ignore it for a moment, but the knocker was very persistent. "I told you, Hank..." She threw open the door, freezing on the spot as she saw the other man in question stood on her doorstep. "Well if you're here to see me during a shift, I know that can't be good."

"I have a few minutes." Grissom removed his other hand from his pocket, handing her back her CSI identity badge that she had thrown on Ecklie's desk a few days ago. "Can I come in? Unless you're expecting someone else." He tried to hide the hurt look on his face from the sound of the other man's name.

Sara pursed her lips together for a moment, before she took a step back. She opened the door wider to let him in, quickly checking the hall outside for her unwanted guest. There was no sign of him though, so she figured he had left, hopefully before her supervisor arrived.

"We've had this conversation before." Sara ditched the ID on her kitchen counter, grabbing herself a bottle of water from the fridge. "Do you want to ask if I've been drinking or do you just want to jump straight into firing me like they all want?"

"What happened?" The man simply asked, turning to face her after a quick examination of the apartment. He was satisfied that the apartment didn't indicate any signs that she was on the self destruct path, but she was a lot harder to read than that.

"What have you been told?"

"I'm asking for your side of it." Grissom hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans, waiting for her to start speaking. "Sara..."

"I jumped to conclusions." The woman interrupted him, sitting herself down at the counter. "I saw a bruise and thought abuse. I never listened to Lindsey's side of it. I just jumped to my own conclusions and got into it with Catherine. One of my foster mother's used to say that I was like a bull in a china shop. I see red and I just... go for it. To hell with the consequences. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Sara," He cleared away the magazines stacked on the other chair, pulling it up beside her to sit down. He lifted her hand from the counter, holding it gently between his own. "I don't know how to help you. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. But I want to be here for you."

"At least you're honest." She smiled slightly, feeling the warmth of his hands against her own.

The last time she felt that, they ended up in her bedroom under the covers for the first time, putting her in her current predicament. She thought that moment of intimacy between them meant something more, but the man in front of her just continued on with his life as though nothing had happened between them.

Six weeks of not knowing what it meant and now here he was again.

But it was all still so confusing to her.

"Being here helps." Sara finally spoke, looking up into the man's eyes. "Even silent moments alone with you help."

"Sara, maybe you should consider speaking to someone. It's not the first time that you've had an emotional outburst like this at work." The man licked his lips, giving her an anxious look. He didn't want to come right out and suggest that she get help before she really went off the deep end, but he was worried about her. "We have a department shrink."

"Don't they have to report to a supervisor though?" Sara pulled her hand away from him, unscrewing the bottle cap to her water bottle. "I'm not going to give Ecklie another excuse to fire me. If he wants me gone, then maybe I should just go."

"No." Grissom shook his head.

"Why? He's looking for any excuse to get rid of me, so I might as well just save him the trouble and leave."

"No." He repeated himself, looking into her eyes. "I'm not ready for you to go. We've only just started... whatever this is that we've started... I need you here, Sara."

It wasn't a clear sign of his affection for her, but it was enough to bring a smile to her lips.

When he returned to the lab an hour or so later, Grissom quickly toured the lab to see what everyone was doing, before he found, Sofia Curtis set up in one of the layout rooms. He gave the door a light knock, giving her a smile as he stepped inside.

"Good lunch?" She asked, sliding a file across the table towards him. "Found out who your, Jane Doe is. Or was, anyway. Cynthia Bell. Parents are being called in now. This is interesting though." She showed him some printed documents. "These are from her social media site, Greg managed to find them. She was posting updates right until one o' clock in the morning. Doc Robbins pegged her death around ten hours before we found her, so she must have died about an hour after this last update. She was at a club in town with some friends. And look where she works."

"Lady Heather's." He read it, realising the injuries their victim had made sense now. "Tortured for pleasure, but someone got a little too rough. Have Greg search her friends media updates, maybe there's more photos of them. Get Nick to find these people in the pictures, they've got to know something."

"Where are you going?" Sofia cocked an eyebrow in his direction.

"The pleasure house." He picked up the file on their victim, needing the fresh air anyway. He wasn't expecting, Sofia to invite herself along though, but at least she didn't talk in the car.

He had a close relationship with the owner of the establishment already after they discussed some personal things during a previous case. He found her fascinating on their first meeting, studying the sexual psyche of human beings.

A topic that both fascinated and confused him.

As soon as they entered the building, Sofia flinched from the sound of a whip cracking against flesh. She cringed as a man was led past them, wearing nothing but a leather mask with a zipper covering the mouth and eyes. He had a thick studded collar around his neck, being led around by a woman in skin tight latex.

"Please tell me that you don't come here on personal days." She whispered to the man beside her, noticing his lips cracking into a grin. She followed his gaze towards the stairs, widening her eyes at the sight of the gothic looking dominatrix woman walking down them. She cringed at the sight of the skin tight leather outfit, the Dracula looking cape flowing behind her, but Grissom couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Gil, nice to see you again. Sorry it's not under better circumstances." The woman approached them, giving him a warm smile. "I don't believe we've met." She cast her spider long eyelashes in the other woman's direction.

"Sofia Curtis."

"Lady Heather." She introduced herself, immediately turning her attention towards, Grissom. "I looked through my records when you called about the missing employee of mine. I didn't know, Cynthia personally. She had only just started working here a few months ago. She hasn't worked here since Tuesday night, but I can introduce you to the woman who brought her in. She's with a client right now."

"Client?" Sofia turned her head as she heard a scream, followed by a pleasurable moan. "There's nothing illegal going on here, is there?"

"Why would you say that?" Lady Heather gave her a curious look.

"C'mon," The woman rolled her eyes. "It's a sex club."

"I prefer fetish." Grissom corrected his colleague. "Lady Heather, can we get a list of all of Cynthia's clients? Maybe she had a problem with one of her clients or they were a little bit too rough with her."

"If I may ask," Ignoring the other woman, Lady Heather cast her eyes towards the older man again. "How did Cynthia die?"

"She was repeatedly strangled, until she stopped breathing. She has ligature marks all over her body, but there's no sign of sexual assault." Grissom explained to her, not noticing his colleagues discomfort with their current situation.

"I'm not really into this danger play sex stuff." Sofia anxiously looked around their surroundings. "Did you have any sexual deviants like this who could have taken it too far? Maybe someone who has done this to another one of your girls for their own pleasure."

"Choking play during sex is usually the woman's preference." Lady Heather took a step closer to the other woman, looking into her eyes as she spoke. "Some women enjoy being taken against their will by a dominant man who can satisfy her genetic desire for healthy and fit offspring. The attraction of the leader of the pack has been around for centuries in all mammals. Choking play is simply a show of that dominance. It's not about hurting her or stopping her from breathing, it's about the pleasure. Heightening her orgasm, making her feel good. May I?" She held up her hands, looking at Sofia in front of her, asking for her permission. "A simple demonstration, if I may?"

Sofia gulped softly, before she gave the woman a nod.

"Choking play is not about pressing down on a windpipe, that's just painful, uncomfortable and you'll quickly lose her interest." Lady Heather placed her hands around, Sofia's neck, looking into her eyes as she explained, "It's about the veins in your neck. Here." She brushed her thumbs against them, sending a chill down the other woman's spine. "If I press down here for a few seconds at a time, it stems the flow of blood to your brain. It'll make you feel lightheaded, a little giddy and the pleasure during orgasm is increased. The trick is to gently press and release every few seconds. Done right, it shouldn't cause discomfort, pain or bruising." She removed her hands, giving the woman a smile. "It's not for everyone, but some women find that once they've tried it, they want it every time they climax."

"The bruises on our victim were all the way round her neck. Thumb shaped bruises on her windpipe and fingers either side." Grissom opened the file in his hands, showing her the autopsy photos of their victim. "Our coroner said her wind pipe had been crushed."

"The bruise patterns don't match up with choking play. Thumbs would be on the sides of her neck, not in the middle and they don't generally need to use their fingers." Lady Heather examined the photo, shaking her head. "Whoever did this wanted to stop her from breathing, maybe from struggling. We usually use safe words to keep everyone in their comfort zone here. If this took place off site, whoever did this wasn't interested in his partner's pleasure. Just his own."

"You can tell all that from a photo?" Sofia found that hard to believe.

"Choking someone is a show of strength. It's a dominant act during an intimate moment between two people. To choke someone like this, you'd have to only be concerned for your own sexual needs and desires. They had no feelings for this woman and it's most likely that they've done it before." Lady Heather came to her own conclusion, motioning their attention towards a slightly younger dominatrix who had just entered. "This is her. She trained, Cynthia during her first few months with us. She'll be able to tell you more about her."

Grissom glanced round at the woman, suggesting, "You can interview the trainer, I'm going to take a look at those records."

"Of course you are." Sofia sighed, watching the man walking up the stairs with Lady Heather, leaving her with the half naked sex slave. "Hi... do you maybe have a bathrobe or something?" She tried to look at her eyes, but the bright red bra and thong caught her attention. "I can lend you my jacket?"

Ignoring his colleague's uneasiness with questioning the younger dominatrix, Grissom made his way up the stairs with Lady Heather, rounding the corner to her office. He noticed a new series of masks displayed around the room, curiously running his fingertips across the shiny metal one.

"There's something different about you." Lady Heather appeared behind him, giving him a curious look as he turned to face her. She studied him for a moment, sensing a change in his life. "The last time you were in this office, we were discussing the outlets of others. That offer for letting you explore your own dominance or submissive side still stands, but something tells me that you've found yourself another outlet for your needs."

"Am I that obvious?" Grissom gave her a slight smile, taking a step back from her as he could practically taste her Jasmine scented perfume on his tongue. "The photos of your daughter... they've moved." He motioned towards the mantle, trying to change the subject so he didn't feel so uncomfortable. He made his way towards it, seeing a new picture up there instead.

"Yes, my darling daughter, Zoe in all her infinite wisdom decided to drop out of Harvard." Lady Heather joined him by the mantle. "She told me the place was too stuffy. She couldn't breathe. She's always wanted to travel. I don't know what to believe anymore though. I received a letter saying that she had been thrown out of the school. She denied it and the school started making up lies about her stealing exam results, drinking on school grounds... but they don't know my Zoe like I do. Or did, anyway. I used to be able to read her so well. Now she feels like a stranger to me."

"Sometimes it's harder for us to read the people close to us." Grissom spoke from experience.

"I can read anyone who walks into my doors, even you." She seductively smiled at the man, brushing her fingertips across the sleeve of his jacket. "I sense a great change in your live. The loneliness in your eyes... the vacancy in your heart has been filled with something." Lady Heather almost looked a little disappointed as she removed her hand from his sleeve. "I think that my daughter, Zoe is too much like myself to understand. Just when I think I'm getting close, she completely changes before my eyes. I find it frustrating and intriguing at the same time. Just when you think you know someone, you find out something new and hidden. Years of studying peoples behaviours and reactions, I find it fascinating when they reveal a hidden layer that you didn't even know was there. Know someone like that?"

"Love is blind." He repeated one of his favourite quotes.

"Shakespeare." The woman recognised the saying, adding, "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." She warmly smiled at him. "One of my favourites."

"Mine too." Grissom gave her a slight smile, feeling a tremble running down his spine as he remembered their last conversation a few years ago. Lady Heather asked him why he was so afraid of being known. She made an observation that he couldn't accept people really knowing him, so he closed himself off from the world around him.

He loved Sara, he knew that now, but for whatever reason, he was scared of her really knowing him. Did that mean that he was scared to really love her too?

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, reviewing and following so far. Please let me know what you thought of this next chapter.**

 **GSR Forever!**

 **Have a Great Weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	3. Indisposed

**Chapter Three - Indisposed**

The feeling of sickness was all too familiar to her now.

Sara hated these bouts of morning sickness that couldn't tell time. It popped up when she least expected it now. Stepping out of the shower, walking through the store, opening the fridge door, walking past some flowers or simply brushing her hair. She couldn't get used to it and she certainly didn't want to either. Who would want to get used to being slumped over the toilet bowl for seventy percent of their day?

A rough estimate since she spent the rest of her time pondering around the apartment, wondering what to do about so many things. Rethinking conversations and moments between her and the man clogging her mind.

It all started so innocent and harmless.

Friendly banter between friends and work colleagues, nothing more. Then she started going off the deep end and he was suddenly there for her a little more. Dinner after work, breakfast just before and then finally the rescue from her drink driving incident. She didn't know what she was thinking or if she was even thinking at all that night, but she remembered every moment of shame when her supervisor was called out to pick her up. She thought for sure that he would change his mind and fire her right there and then, but he practically tucked her up in bed that night.

Sara couldn't sleep with the shame of it all hanging over her head. She buried her head into her pillow, listening to her supervisor breathing softly from his seat beside her. She wanted to speak. She wanted to explain or reach out to someone. She wanted to do anything but feel sorry for herself anymore, then he placed his hand into hers.

Sara immediately felt goose bumps travelling up her arm from the touch. She had been waiting to hear a lecture from him all night. The last thing she was expecting, especially from a man as complicated as Grissom was something so intimate.

Before she could read too much into it, the man complicated things further with a kiss. Not a peck to the cheek or an innocent kiss to the forehead either, a full blown, mouth to mouth kiss. He pulled back too soon, but then she felt the mattress beside her shifting.

His knee was on her bed. He was manoeuvring himself into position to do the one thing she had fantasised about for years, ever since their first encounter at that seminar all those years ago. He held that position for what seemed like hours, holding her hand in his, gazing into her eyes, breathing his soft breath on her cheek.

She had to be dreaming. There was no way this could be real.

But it was.

Grissom made love to her like no man had before. He had watched her falling apart for so long that he just wanted to reach out and give her something that was real. He didn't realise that this was what she wanted too, until they were peeling each other's clothes off beneath the covers.

Sara felt connected to him in ways she had never felt before. He didn't totally understand her, but he wanted to be there for her, rather than judge her or use her like so many had. She felt alive in his arms. Her only regret of that night was the total lack of protection between them.

Resulting in her current predicament.

How could she be so stupid? She had always been so careful before. She wasn't even that drunk to blame it on the alcohol. She remembered every moment of their first intimate interaction together. Every thought, every feeling, every touch, but she never even considered the possibility that six weeks later, she'd be pregnant with his offspring.

How could she have completely blown it all so soon?

Much to her surprise, her supervisor and father of this little parasite growing inside of her, decided to pay her another visit, presenting her with her favourite dinner and a bottle of wine. "I know it's not much." He looked at the Chinese takeaway boxes in his hands. "But when you declined my offer to come out to dinner with me, I thought perhaps that I should bring dinner to you."

"You didn't have to do that." Sara ushered him inside, plugging her nostrils as the scent started to set her nausea off again. She grabbed herself a bottle of water from the fridge, sitting herself down at the counter as he started to serve. "No, thank you." She declined the glass of wine, hoping he wouldn't catch on, but this was Grissom, he was bound to notice something.

"I didn't know if you would be interested." Grissom removed his jacket, pulling a DVD case out of the pocket. "But I picked up a movie from that new rental store near my place." He placed it on the counter, grabbing them some cutlery, before he joined her. "You haven't seen it before, have you?"

"I don't think I've ever heard of it." She examined the title a moment, before she grabbed the cutlery from his hands. "Thank you. Did you get the mushroom chow mein?"

"Number fourteen." He nodded, moving the box in her direction. "You always order it at the lab, so I got you two." He slid the other box towards her with a smile.

Sara smiled widely, opening the flaps to the box. "Well this is certainly better than our first date. Remember the lobster that was cold inside and our fourteen year old waitress who was always on the phone. I still think that she spat in my food."

"That wasn't our first date." Grissom disagreed with her, grabbing himself some chop sticks for his meal. "Our first date was the all you can eat buffet table after the forensic conference. You had the chicken in the red wine sauce. You piled your plate with the Mediterranean salad that you liked so much. You dropped some pomegranate down your white blouse that stained."

"You remember that?" She giggled softly, trying to think back. "Wasn't that nearly ten years ago? You count that as a first date?"

"Seven years ago. Your hair was longer." He corrected her, recalling the first time he saw her again. He didn't realise it at the time, but that was the moment he fell in love with her. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "Yes, I do count it. If you count every intimate interaction we've had over the years, this would be... date forty or fifty something."

"You know, most people don't count their friendship as part of their relationship. They only count the intimacy part of it." Sara pointed out to him, spying the mini veggie rolls beside him. She slid the box towards herself, savouring the first delicious bite for a moment. She suddenly felt very hungry after days of having no appetite at all.

"That would mean that we've only been together for six or seven weeks though." He realised, feeling as though their relationship really started when they met. "I don't count it like that. In some ways, my friendship with you is more important to me, Sara. I count our friendship as a huge part of our relationship. The most important part."

Grissom spoke softly, smiling to himself as some soy sauce dribbled down her chin. He grabbed a napkin from the table, reaching across the counter to wipe it away for her. He looked into her eyes as he did, feeling exactly what he felt all those years ago when he first saw her.

"Without our friendship, I don't think we'd have the relationship we have now."

"What kind of relationship do we have?" She queried, seeing the nervousness in his eyes. "I'm just looking for a little bit of recognition, not a commitment, Gilbert. Relax." Sara smiled at him, sliding the mini roll box towards him. "These are really good."

Grissom looked at her lips as she spoke, trying to think of the words to express his feelings for her, but he suddenly felt too nervous to speak. He watched her lips as she spoke, loving how expressive she was with her hands when she was passionate about something.

In this instance, the crispy seaweed that she had never tried before now.

"How are you finding it?" Grissom asked, still focused on her lips. "Being away from the lab, I mean."

"All this free time off isn't so bad, I guess. Day time television is really boring though. I think I've gained about five pounds too. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually can't wait to get back to work on Monday." She finally ditched her fork after polishing off her plate, grabbing another spring roll.

Breaking into a smile, Grissom took her hand across the counter, adoring her even more. "I'm looking forward to that too, my dear." He finally spoke his mind, feeling himself flushing a little. "Significant other." He blurted out, brushing his thumb across the back of her hand. "Your question before about what kind of relationship I think we have. I consider a certain level of... significance between us. You're very important to me and I feel things for you that I've never felt for anyone before. It's hard to explain and I can't quite find the right words to describe how I feel. It's all so complicated and other worldly to me... so, to simplify things a little... I consider you my significant other."

Sara liked the sound of that. It made their relationship seem a little more real, rather than something that wasn't discussed. "Sounds good to me. You're very wise, Gilbert."

"With age comes wisdom." He cracked a grin, reaching for her plate. "Are you all done?"

"Yes, thank you." She moved back, so he could clear up. "Everything was delicious."

"Next time, I'll cook for you." Leaving Sara at the counter, Grissom took their plates over to the sink, warming up the water to wash them. He felt Sara's hand against his back before he started, causing his breathing to slow as she rested her head against his shoulder. She slipped her other arm around his chest, making his heart skip a beat as she held him tightly in her arms.

"Thank you." She spoke just loud enough for him to feel the vibration of her voice in his chest.

He was trapped between the most beautiful woman in the world and the sink counter now, but he couldn't be happier. This was definitely another confusing and other worldly step in their relationship, but he knew exactly what he wanted.

Ditching the unwashed dishes in the sink, Grissom decided that he couldn't take it anymore. He turned in her arms, looking at her luscious lips for a moment, before he closed the gap between them.

He captured her bottom lip between his own, feeling her melt in his arms from the first touch. He felt about the same when she started to kiss him back, deciding that they should move to the bedroom, before he became weak in the knees.

As they kissed their way into the bedroom, Grissom could feel his body responding in ways he had never felt before. He used to think that he had no idea what to do in this situation, so he tended to avoid it altogether, but instinct seemed to take over at the foot of Sara's bed.

He was nervous and unsure, but his hands had a mind of their own.

Still standing, he fumbled with the buckle to Sara's jeans, letting them fall down her silky smooth thighs. Tracing a fingertip across her prominent hip bone, he teased his tongue in her mouth, feeling Sara's hands pawing through his hair. He could feel her thigh rise up against his hip, making him completely surrender himself to the experience of her body so close to his own.

Pulling him back onto the bed with her, Sara gave out a delicate whimper, feeling the obvious protrusion in the front of his jeans. She smiled against his parted lips, tugging his neatly tucked shirt out of the waist band of his jeans. He seemed to gain a little more confidence once they were on the bed, completely blanketing her body with his own, claiming her mouth, chin, jaw line, cheek and forehead with delicate kisses.

He didn't pay this much attention to her last time, mostly because he was shaking so much.

She could still feel a slight tremble of his limbs this time, but he seemed so much more confident and sure of himself. Now would have been the perfect time to tell him, but she didn't want to risk ruining the moment.

It was only their second time. The truth could wait.

Sara bit through a moan, rolling her head back into her mattress as he kissed her neck. His kisses were slow and steady, heightening her pleasure with each playful thrust of his hips. Surprisingly he was still fully clothed, unlike most guys she had been with and he seemed in no rush to get it over with.

He truly was one of a kind.

A quiet breath of surprise escaped her lips, curving into a smile as the man lingered a kiss over her breast. He rolled the fabric of her v neck t-shirt up her chest with a look of fascination in his eyes as he examined her perfect female form for the second time. He was too nervous to really look the first time, but he was feeling a little braver to at least take in the sight of her ample breasts, hidden beneath the fabric of a navy lace bra.

It wasn't anything fancy, but it was still so feminine, delicate and foreign to him. He felt a little intimidated.

Before he lost his focus, Sara decided to give him a helping hand with his own shirt, brushing her hands across his smooth shoulders in the process. She loosened the belt to his jeans, reclaiming his mouth with her own as they slipped down his thighs.

His chest felt firm and manly, covered with fine hairs. His hands smooth on her thighs. His breath soft against her cheek.

Sara never wanted this moment to end.

No time for protection again and no bother either, they were already expecting.

Before long, Sara sounded as though she was having trouble breathing. Her breath came out in small gasps, completely overrun with pleasure from the feeling of the man inside her, on top of her, completely surrounding her.

Every sensation in her body was spiralling out of control, warping her mind into a permanent state of bliss.

The moment was perfect and never ending.

Sara only wished that they could be frozen in this moment of time for eternity.

But nothing lasted forever.

Absently reaching out for the space beside her, Sara expected to find the warm body of her significant other, only to find herself alone once again. She struggled to sit up, clutching her sheets close against her naked chest as she glanced around the empty room.

"Gil?" She called out for him.

No answer.

The evidence of their night together was still there, but his clothes were gone, along with him. She combed her tousled hair back from her face, turning towards her night stand to read the time.

Two in the morning.

He must have left her sleeping when he hightailed it out the door.

Collapsing back against her pillow, the woman sighed softly, feeling something crumple beneath her. She reached her hand under her pillow, finding a folded piece of paper beneath it. She couldn't see what it said in the dark, so she reached for her bedside table lamp, opening up the note beneath it.

 _Sara,_

 _I'm never very good at putting my feelings into words, so with a little help from Shakespeare, I hope you can understand how I feel._

 _'Hear my soul speak: the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service.'_

 _I'm sorry I had to leave you. Work emergency._

 _Your significant other,_

 _Gil._

Sara gave out a smirk, relaxing back against her pillow with the note. She stared at it, rereading it over and over, wishing he would have put it in the simpler terms of three little words if that's what he really felt, but this was Gil Grissom, the man who could only say the things he felt with the words of others. She never wanted that to change, even if she did want something more tangible to hold onto.

But it would still be nice to know his true feelings.

Especially considering their current situation.

"What have we got?" Grissom arrived at his crime scene, zipping his jacket a little higher, so Catherine wouldn't notice that he was wearing the same shirt as his last shift. He didn't have time to go home and change. He didn't even have time to shower, so he hoped that she couldn't tell.

"Car crash. Over there."

He didn't quite catch what she mumbled, so he followed her direction towards the car crashed into the lamp post, wondering how he missed that. "Our vic?"

"Forty eight." Catherine handed the wallet over to him. "Harland Summers. Lawyer. Dead."

"Did the crash kill him?" He adjusted the cap on his head as it started raining harder.

"No." Brass overheard, ducking under the crime scene tape, joining the two of them with the details. "The doc says he has a gunshot wound to his abdomen. Through and through. Driver behind our lawyer said he was swerving all over the road, looked drunk, then he suddenly crashed."

"Was he shot in the car?" Catherine asked, shivering as the rain poured down her neck. She didn't have the sense to bring an umbrella or a hat with her, so she had to just let it soak her through. Thankfully she wasn't wearing a blouse that became see through in the rain, but the cold was certainly starting to show.

"That's your department." The Captain motioned towards them. "He had a female passenger... are you okay there, Gil? You look a little peaky."

Catherine turned her attention towards her supervisor, realising he did. "You do look a little off colour."

"The case?" Grissom tried to distract them, trying to focus on their lips in the darkness and heavy down pour of rain. "What about the female passenger?"

"Oh," Brass nodded, trying to suppress a smile. "She's on her way to the hospital now."

"Any ID on her?" Grissom queried, practically shouting as the heavy rain made it difficult to hear anything.

"Zoe Kessler." He read the name from his notes, not noticing the recognition in Grissom's eyes. "She was intoxicated, so we didn't get much out of her. She's on her way to the hospital now." He pointed towards the ambulance just leaving the scene. "That's her bus."

Catherine watched it driving away, wishing for some dry, warmth herself. "Shall I take our female victim, while you take the scene?" She asked her supervisor, tapping his arm as he seemed a little out of it. "Hey Gil, you in there? I said, shall I take her while you take the scene?" She shouted a little louder.

He stared at her lips for a moment, still not getting it.

"Are you feeling okay?" She gave him a curious look.

"Yes. You stay here." He ruined her plan. "I'll go with her. You work the scene. Nick is on his way back from court now. I'll send him out to help you. Warrick should be on shift soon and Sofia Curtis is still on loan out. She's yours if you need her."

"Why?" Catherine complained, "Because she happens to be the daughter of a woman you've taken a fancy to?"

"No." Grissom sounded a little unsure. "Because I'm your supervisor, Catherine, so you'll do as I say."

"Yes, boss. You go and get your rocks of with the dominatrix, while I stay here in the freezing cold." She playfully saluted him. "No offence, Gil, but she doesn't seem your type. When I said you really need a woman in your life, I meant a normal, down to earth one. You're so timid... and awkward in social situations. Lady Heather is a dominatrix. I know she's attractive, but she's way out of your league. Maybe you should try your chances with Sofia, I hear she's single. She seems more your type and she's more... down to earth and human. She doesn't preach sex for a living."

"We're not here to date, Catherine. We're here to do a job. So get on with it." He motioned her towards her scene. "Call me if you find anything useful."

Before the woman could protest further about being left in the pouring rain, Grissom quickly made his way back to his car, buckling himself in. He had only just spoken to Lady Heather the other day, but he felt as though he had to see her in person to tell her something like this. She helped them solve their last case of her missing employee after all, he owed her a little respect.

"Thank you." He thanked the woman who had escorted him up to her office, taking a moment to examine the place, before he noticed the woman in question. "Lady Heather, hello." He wiped the extra water droplets from his face, admiring the deep purple blouse the woman was wearing now that the fog had cleared.

"Mr Grissom." Lady Heather climbed to her feet from her desk, motioning towards an empty chair in front of her. "This is a nice surprise, Gil. I trust you're here on business. I sense that you haven't come here for pleasure. Please, take a seat."

"Actually, I'm not staying." He took a step towards her desk, removing the rain soaked cap from his head. "I came to inform you in person that your daughter was involved in a car accident. She's been taken to the hospital. I'm afraid I don't know much more than that at the moment, but I thought that you should know."

"Thank you for telling me." Her expression remained completely emotionless as usual, not surprising him at all. "Which hospital?"

"Desert Palms. I can give you a ride, my car is right outside." He offered, watching her grabbing a purse and a jacket, before she followed him down the stairs. She examined his car once they were inside, but didn't make a single observation like he was expecting. He flashed his CSI badge at the hospital to get them all the way to the right floor, leaving Lady Heather in the relatives waiting room, while he got to work.

"Grissom. Mr Grissom, this way." A deputy flagged him down, ushering him towards the right room. "Passenger from Brass' scene was in here. She was complaining about a pain in her chest, so the doctor's just taken her up for a scan. They left her clothes and effects in the bag." He pointed towards the bag set down on the bedside table.

Grissom approached the room, realising it was empty. "Where is she?"

The deputy stared at him a moment, motioning over his shoulder. "I just said that the doc took her up for a scan. They should be back in a moment."

"Did you manage to get a statement?" He queried, feeling a little odd about going through the personal things of Lady Heather's daughter, even if it was his job.

"She was still pretty intoxicated, but she did ask where her fiancé was."

"The lawyer from the car?" Grissom cocked an eyebrow in the deputy's direction, but he didn't know. He adjusted the CSI cap on his head, finding a diamond ring in the bag that confirmed her story. He wondered if Lady Heather knew about the engagement to the older man.

If she didn't, he certainly didn't want to be the one to break it to her.

Any mother would be anxious about her daughter dating an older man, especially one who was thirty years older than her, making him feel a little hypocritical as there was at least a fifteen year age gap between himself and his significant other.

As it was part of a case though, he didn't see any other choice.

"You and your daughter aren't speaking?" Grissom joined the woman out in the waiting room, seeing the confusion in her eyes. "Last time I was in your office, you had taken down the photos of her. You told me that she wanted to go travelling after she dropped out of school, but she's still here in Las Vegas?"

"Good observation, Mr Grissom." She moved her bag from the seat beside her, allowing him to sit down with her. "That letter I received from Harvard, explaining my daughter's suspension detailed that Zoe was harassing the school psychiatrist. Apparently she threw a brick through his window, smashed up his car, threatened his wife... I didn't even know she was seeing a psychiatrist, but according to her, she was in love with him. She became pregnant by him and he wanted nothing to do with her because he wanted to stay loyal to his wife. He was married. Older. He took advantage of a vulnerable patient, a student and they accuse her of harassing him."

"You don't think there's any truth to it?"

Lady Heather quickly lifted her gaze, casting a glare at him. "What exactly are you accusing my daughter of, Mr Grissom?"

"Simply making an observation, not an accusation." He assured the woman. "Lady Heather, your daughter was found in a car with a forty eight year old man. A lawyer named Harland Summers. Have you ever heard of him?"

"No." She looked confused, so he knew she was telling the truth. "What was she doing with a lawyer?"

"She claims that she's engaged to him."

The woman turned her head away from him, giving out a soft sigh. "I have to confess something to you." She spoke softly, still not looking him in the eyes. "My daughter and I have become... estranged of late. We haven't seen eye to eye on a lot of things. I only want what's best for her, but she thinks that I'm trying to control and meddle in on her life. So she cut ties with me. I haven't seen or spoken to her in months. I thought that if I could get her back into Harvard, she'll start speaking to me again, but it seems that I only put more distance between us after I reported her psychiatrist."

"It's a mother's job to look out for their children. No matter how old they are." Grissom spoke from his own experience. "So you have no idea who this man is that she's engaged to?"

"I don't presume to know anything about my daughter's life now." Lady Heather reached for his hand, turning her head to look at him. "I noticed, you never asked what happened to the baby."

"I didn't think it was any of my business."

The woman allowed a smile to spread across her painted lips, tapping the back of his hand. "That's exactly what my daughter told me. I don't know if I have a grandchild on the way, one out there somewhere or a daughter who's about to destroy the most precious gift in life." She sighed, wishing she had paid more attention to her daughter over the past two years. Maybe then, she would have been able to see the warning signs and stop her from making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. "Maybe the child is better off, not being a part of this world. My world. This world that I created and hid from my own daughter for all this time. What kind of life could I offer a grandchild?"

"Personally, I think you'd make an amazing grandmother." He complimented the woman, giving her a slight smile.

"I wouldn't." Lady Heather shook her head, still holding his hand. "But the sentiment is appreciated." After a beat, she asked, "Do you think it's possible that this man took advantage of her? She is only eighteen. Victims of this type of grooming from older men, tend to go for the same men over and over, but it's not really her fault if they're the ones doing it to her. God only knows what they've filled her head with."

"I don't presume anything." The man climbed to his feet, putting some distance between them as her thick perfume was starting to clog his nostrils again. He adored the scent, but his heart was currently committed to another. "I like to stick with the facts. Evidence never lies."

Examining the expression on Grissom's face for a moment, the woman smiled, whispering, "There is something different about you. Good for you, Mr Grissom. We all need our outlets."

* * *

 **Thank you for all your reviews so far. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far.**

 **Please let me know what you thought of this next chapter.**

 **Thank you. Enjoy your week!**

 **~ Holly**


	4. Smallest Details

**Chapter Four - Smallest Details**

Breathing in a deep breath, Sara anxiously straightened out her blouse, making sure there was no sign of her baby bump. It didn't stick out that much, but she had been eating nonstop for the past week, only adding to the growth of her unborn baby and the bump in her stomach.

It was her first day back at the lab since her suspension. She didn't feel ready to go back. She didn't really want to go back. She'd have to face, Catherine again after everything she said to her. She had to force out an apology to Ecklie for her behaviour, but worst of all, she had to see Grissom in a working environment, rather than an intimate one like she wanted in order to tell him the truth.

She had a terrible feeling in her stomach that today was going to be a complete disaster, but she was already running late for her first shift back and it was too late to call in sick.

Sighing softly, Sara reluctantly grabbed for her bag off the table, quickly making her way out to the car before she changed her mind again. She stepped out of her apartment just as her neighbour was returning home, spotting the sleeping baby in her arms. She heard it crying often enough, but she had never actually seen the baby that caused all the noise before.

Little Devil.

Considering the fact that he was a constant source of annoyance in her life, especially when she was trying to sleep, Sara glared at the infant, avoiding all thoughts of it being cute. It had on a little blue hat with a teddy bear sown into the front, tiny little fingers sticking out the end of his onesie and he made an adorable grunt as she passed him, but she continued to give him a glare, despite his adorableness.

"Oh, Sara." The woman realised it was her, grabbing her before she stepped on the elevator. "Did you get the notice about the parking yesterday?"

Sara shook her head, jabbing the elevator button a few times to try and get it here quicker.

"They're closing the garage for two weeks. Maintenance." The mother sighed, adjusting the baby in her arms. "I spoke to the manager this morning and he said we'll have to find somewhere else to park while it's going on. It's hard enough getting in and out of this building with the little one as it is, but now I'm going to have to park the car even further away. What takes two weeks? Where do they expect us to park while all of this is going on?"

"I... don't know. I have to go."

Saved by the elevator.

Sara quickly stepped through the open door, jabbing the button for the ground floor a few times. She forced a smile in the direction of the other woman, letting it go as soon as the doors closed. She didn't know any of her neighbours by name. She knew some of them by their apartment number, but she didn't make it her business to know them personally. She didn't really want to either, especially since this building seemed to attract single mother's lately. She already had enough in common with them, she didn't want to get to know them personally.

As soon as she reached her car, Sara found the notice from the manager under her wiper blade, informing her that she'd have to find an alternative parking space over the next two weeks. She wasn't that bothered about it though. She didn't have a child or a pushchair to deal with yet, so it didn't really affect her that much. She dreaded to think about what she'd do if she did have all of that to deal with. Her car wasn't exactly big enough for a pushchair and her apartment only had the one room.

Yet another reminder of how unprepared she was for this baby.

Before she thought too much into it and started to hyperventilate again, Sara tossed the notice into the back of her car, quickly making her way off to the lab, before Ecklie had another excuse to fire her.

"Hey, Sara. Welcome back." Warrick greeted his colleague with a smile, holding the door open for her as she hurried inside. "I wasn't sure if you'd get my message. Sorry to throw you in at the deep end, but I'm halfway through my case. Grissom told me to bring you up to speed." He grabbed the next set of doors, letting her through first like a perfect gentleman.

"It's okay. I'm dying to get back to work." She confessed, checking around to make sure, Catherine and Ecklie weren't around. "So, what have we got?"

"There was a shootout last night. Some gang land territory thing. The details are still unclear. We have three dead gang members, an injured cop and an innocent bystander took one to the neck. She died just a few minutes ago in surgery." He showed her the pictures from the file in his hands as they continued to walk. "We're still looking for the other suspects."

"Do you have any suspects here?" She removed her jacket, following him through to the police station.

"We do, but it's not who we expected. Police officers rolled up to the scene and started firing at the gang members. I've had Greg out in the field with me, picking up bullets and mapping out the trajectories all night. Our sixteen year old victim wasn't in the line of sight of any of our gang members. There was no way any of them could have hit this side of her neck from her position." He handed her the file from his hands, grabbing the last door. "Trajectories, autopsy and ballistics all confirm that our vic was shot by a deputy. This has turned into an IA investigation now. DA is on his way. We just need to figure out who shot our vic, before it ends up all over the news."

"Oh boy." Sara wished she hadn't returned today, seeing the deputies lining up inside, handing over their service pistols and backups to ballistics lab tech, Bobby Dawson. He documented their name on the bag, sealing it up, ready to examine later in the lab. "So, where are we going to start?"

"Statements. Brass wants this internal investigation done by the book." Warrick pointed her towards the interrogation room across the hall. "I figure we'll take em one at a time. Get their statements while Bobby does his thing upstairs. You up for it?"

Sara breathed in a deep breath, glad her stomach had finally settled. "Who's the union rep on this?"

"Captain Brass himself." Warrick sighed softly. "He's probably going to sensor everything we get, but the DA will be here shortly to make sure we get what we need. Who do you want to take first?" He offered, letting her choose from the deputies they had stood behind them.

"They were all at the shooting?" She studied the eight deputies in front of her for a moment, before she looked at Warrick beside her. "Can we make this simpler? Do any of them have a prior shooting or something on their rap sheet?"

"Two." Warrick opened the files he had given her, pointing out the two that Greg had flagged. "One Deputy Warner for complaints of excessive force. IA investigated and cleared him on both, but this other guy, Deputy Miles has three civilians complaints in his jacket and he's currently being investigated for excessive force against two black guys. He was called out a few weeks ago to handle a bar fight. He hit one guy with a broken bottle and broke the jaw of the other one in an attempt to break it up. I'm surprised he's still working here. Look at the complaints he got back in California, before he transferred over here."

"Multiple complaints for being racist, excessive force... our victim was black." Sara realised, looking at the photos from the crime scene of their sixteen year old victim. "I say we start with him. Tell Bobby to test his guns first. Where's Grissom today?"

"Autopsy. A dog walker discovered the bones of a victim that Doc Robbins thinks has been dead nearly ten years. He's got that facial reconstruction expert, Teri Miller with him, hoping they can get an ID. We have the software to do it ourselves now, but Gris insisted on calling her in. I think he has a thing for her. Not that I blame the guy. She's certainly more his type than the dominatrix."

Sara forced a smile at the man, wishing she could correct him on that.

"I'll go get our boy." He diverted her attention back to their case, stepping into the room with all the deputies. "Deputy Miles. You're up first."

The deputy in his late thirties handed his gun over to Bobby, anxiously scratching his fingers through his hair as he made his way across the hall to the interrogation room. He sat himself down at the table, feeling a little awkward about sitting at the table, rather than guarding the door.

"Sara, you ready?" Warrick ushered her inside, not noticing the look on her face after he had told her about, Teri. He closed the door once she was inside, grabbing one of the chairs for himself. "Okay, Deputy Miles. In your own words, tell us exactly what happened the moment you got the call out." He decided to keep it professional, rather than going off on him about being a racist.

Sara sat herself down beside her partner, letting him ask the first few questions, while she tried to focus her mind. She hadn't seen or heard from her significant other in nearly three days now. She thought he would at least come to see her on her first shift back from suspension, but it appeared that he had other things on his mind with the sophisticated, beautiful blonde, Teri Miller.

Typical.

* * *

"Tissue depth markers." Joining the blonde forensic artist around the table, Grissom watched over her shoulder, feeling a little excited to see what their victim looked like. "You don't do it old school anymore?" He sounded a little disappointed. He took his seat beside her, looking at the clean skull of their victim, propped up on the table. "Last time you were working with the human jell-o mould. You told me it's as much science as it is art." He was looking forward to getting stuck in with the messy plaster mould with her again, but it was all computerised now.

"Oh it still is art." She looked up at him, smiling through her vibrant red lips. "It's good to see you again, Gil. You've shaved your beard since my last visit."

"Oh... yeah." Grissom ran his hand across his smooth chin. "Fancied a change. The scruffy look was getting a little old. So, no jell-o mould at all?"

"Nope, all digital. This way is just a little quicker, but still as accurate as the moulding. The tissue depth markers are the mapping of our face. The computer will scan it in, then the art begins. It's up to us to design her face. Did the coroner tell you that our victim was female?"

"No, I thought the bones were too damaged to tell."

"Judging by her cheekbones and nasal spine, it would indicate Nordic descent." Teri stuck the last marker into the place, spinning the skull around to show him. "I'd guess young, early twenties or late teens. She has a hairline fracture to the back of her skull. I'd say that's your cause of death." She added, starting up her computer scan of the skull. "Let's see if we can give her a face."

Grissom moved his chair around to a better position, watching an artist at work. She didn't remind him of any artist he had ever seen before. For one thing, she always had her long blonde hair tied back so neatly into a bun, not a single stray was loose. Her conservative makeup and pearls around her neck screamed house wife, but her ring finger was empty.

After a moment of studying her, Grissom enquired, "I have a question."

"Oh?" Teri continued to work for a moment, before she glanced round at him. His face was so close to hers at the table, she could practically taste what he had for lunch. Had they not been friends, this would have been a total breach of personal space. "Go ahead." She finally smiled.

"The last time I saw you, seven or eight months ago now." He tried to think back. "I called you in to age our missing victim. You hinted that there was an engagement on the cards. But no wedding ring." He pointed to her vacant hand.

"Nice observation. There was an engagement, but no marriage." The woman brushed her empty finger, turning her attention back to sculpting the face in front of her. "I had to return the engagement ring after I found out that he was seeing someone else. His sister in law to be exact. I was more upset about losing ring, so I think it all worked out for the best."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that." Grissom leaned in to whisper. "Does that mean I'm allowed to ask you out to dinner again?"

"After you missed our first date?" Teri Miller cracked into a wide grin, pointing his attention to the monitor to try and gain back his focus. "What do you think of the eyes? Brown, blue... green."

"You said Nordic... blue." He pointed out the colour he wanted on the right. "Ten years missing, do you think anyone will recognise her?"

"If the DNA match doesn't come up with anything, we'll just have to hope that a long time family member or friend is still out there looking for her. I'd like to think that there's always someone out there looking. People don't just disappear for good." She continued to click around on her computer, sculpting the cheekbones of their unidentified victim. She added some colour to her skin, giving her a more human like appearance, rather than a mannequin doll.

"I apologised for missing our dinner date." Grissom remembered, recalling that he got called out to a crime scene the very moment he was supposed to meet her. "I was dressed up and everything."

"I'm sure you looked very dapper." Teri grinned at him. "We'll just give her some blonde hair... and there you have it. Meet your Jane Doe." She brought up the completed image. "Look like anyone you know?"

"No one I know." Grissom examined the image a little closer. "Hopefully someone will recognise her though. Can I get a copy of that to check with missing persons?"

"Of course." Teri printed him off a copy, swivelling her chair towards the printer. She grabbed the printed sheet of paper, holding it just out of the older man's reach. "But we're not doing dinner. I'm sorry, but I don't give second chances. And I'm not looking for a rebound so soon." She simply smiled at the man, placing the image in his hands. "Good luck finding your victim. Let me know how it turns out."

"Thank you." He climbed to his feet, not sure what to think. He examined the image of their victim in his hands for a moment, before he turned back to the woman. "Can I buy you lunch at least? Strictly friends, no commitments or rebounds, whatsoever." Grissom assured her. "Just lunch."

"Thanks, but I have plans already. Sorry, Gil." She climbed to her feet, grabbing her purse off the table. "Good luck though. Let me know if you need any more help. I'm in town for a few weeks yet. I'm giving a seminar in a few days. I'll keep in touch."

"Okay." He turned towards the door, bumping into the very person he was going to see next. "Catherine, we've got our victim." He held it up to her.

"Hm..." She examined the image for herself. "Pretty. Let's hope this pans out, Wendy couldn't get a hit on DNA. The bones are too degraded for any real DNA to be extracted. Hodges found a high presence of lye though."

"An attempt to destroy the body." Grissom realised that made sense from the condition of her remains. "We have a cause of death too. Blunt force trauma to the back of her head. You know where she was found, there used to be a lot of low rent motels in that area."

"So you're thinking prostitute?" Catherine queried, looking at the image again. "What is it with this week? Every case so far has been someone in the sex trade. She certainly has that failed actress turned hooker vibe. Ten years is a long time for someone that off the grid though. How do we know anyone will recognise her?"

"We don't." He thought about it for a moment. "We just have to hope her family is still looking for her."

"So, Sara's back today?" The woman rapidly changed the subject, still waiting on that apology. "Is it for good?" She folded her arms across her chest, observing her supervisor's reaction. "She's back on active duties with no consequences at all, is that how it works?"

Grissom lowered his arms to his sides, not sure how to respond to that. "You'll get your apology, Catherine."

"Funny enough, I'm not really bothered about an apology, Gil." She snapped at him. "I'm more worried about the next time she goes off the deep end and I'm the one in her line of fire. This isn't the first time that she's gone off at me like that. What if she loses it with a witness, a suspect or on the witness stand? What are you gonna do then, Gil?"

"I'm handling it, okay." He calmly advised her. "It's none of your concern. We need to get this image circulated through the media." Grissom tried to divert her attention back to the case, rather than his personal life that he didn't know how to deal with at the moment. "Can you start digging through missing persons files from ten years back? It's probably a long shot, but we might get lucky. You can narrow down your search to late teens, early twenties. Probably a runaway by the location. Nordic decent and the bracelet that David found. Did you get a look at it yet?"

"Yeah, it's a charm bracelet." Catherine sighed softly, wishing she could get away with as much as Sara did. She used the lab one time to try and prove that Sam Braun was her father and she felt as though she was on trial for months. Sara couldn't do anything wrong in their supervisor's eyes though.

"And?" Grissom fished for more information.

"Hodges has it in trace. We might want to circulate an image of that through the media too. They're usually quite unique to their wearer. I know Lindsey's one is, she's always losing that damn thing though. How's your hearing today, Gil?"

Grissom glanced around at her, wondering what she meant by that. "Sex trade?" He finally caught on to what she said earlier.

"Don't tell me that you didn't notice." She threw her head back with laughter. "Must be something about the changing weather. I'm sure you and miss personal space in there were just talking about the case." Catherine teased him, making her way through the lab. "I'll check up on the bracelet. Hi, Nicky."

"Hi. Hey, Gris." Nick hurried after the older man, holding out the file from his hands. "I've hit a brick wall with my breakin' and enterin' case. Accordin' to the owner, she doesn't think anythin' was taken. She doesn't know of anyone who has any grudges or who would want to take anythin'. She didn't see who attacked her or know of any reason why anyone would want to. The only thing broken was the back door window that they punched through to get in and all they did was toss some furniture over. Can I work the IA case with Warrick?" He quickly changed the subject, eager to get rid of his tedious little case to work a high profile case.

"I've put Sara on that." Grissom skim read through his file, tapping one of the pictures of the crime scene. "The wedding photo above the fire place, the wife's face is scratched out?"

"Yeah." Nick looked at it absently.

"C'mon, Nicky." He sighed, handing the file back to him. "You clearly haven't been asking the right questions. Nothing was broken or stolen, just a back window and a picture of the wife was scratched out. Why not the husband's? Does he live with her? Are they having marital problems?"

"They're goin' through a divorce." He remembered her telling him. "What's that gotta do with..."

"I'm not going to hold your hand on this one, Nicky. This is basic stuff." Grissom turned on his heels, heading in the direction of his office. He stopped halfway, beaming a smile at the woman stepping off the elevator. She looked a little tired, but she was still so beautiful. "Sara... hi."

"Hi." She smiled back, relieved to finally see him. She knew she couldn't tell him the truth during working hours, but after three days of not seeing him at all, it was nice to finally lay eyes on him again.

She stood there staring at him for a moment, waiting for him to speak, but he just continued to stare. She didn't know what to say either, leaving them in a total stand still for what felt like an eternity.

The older man started to shift from one foot to the other, finally opening his mouth. "It's nice to see you back in the lab. Are you okay?"

"I am." Sara nodded slightly, licking her dry lips. "Are you?"

"We've just managed to sculpt the face of our ten year old bones." He held up the image to her, avoiding her question. "Hopefully we'll be able to get an ID on her, before the end of shift. Which way are you heading?"

"Ballistics." Sara motioned through the lab, wondering why it felt so awkward between them. It didn't feel like this the other night, but a lot can happen in three days. "We don't have a confession, but we have a prime suspect. Deputy Miles. I need to check on our evidence." She waited for him to speak, but he seemed a little dazed. "I'll... see you later." She decided to break the awkwardness between them, making a beeline for the lab.

"Okay." He stayed put for a moment, watching her walk away. She seemed a lot better than the other day, but she was still so hard to read. He needed a clear sign that she was okay. He didn't know how to ask her as a supervisor, colleague or a friend. He wished that he could, but he just wasn't good with people and their emotions.

"Hey, Grissom. Penny for your thoughts." Lab technician, Mandy Webster appeared beside him, giving him a wide grin as he finally turned his attention towards her. She tried to suppress a soft sigh, realising that the rumours were true. The beard had gone, making their irresistibly handsome lab supervisor even more irresistible. "I have something I need you to sign." She handed the forms over to him.

Reaching for the reading glasses in his shirt pocket, Grissom pushed them up the bridge of his nose, taking a closer look at the forms in his hands. "We're hiring new lab staff?" He gave her a confused look.

"Trying to. I don't know if you noticed, but we've got three lab technicians out on maternity leave and another taking personal time off for a funeral." The woman motioned around their practically empty lab. She tucked her short black hair behind her ear, smiling at the man as he continued to read through the form. "I just need a lab supervisor to sign off on it, before I start the interview process."

"Ecklie?"

"Oh please, the man budgets paper clips. There's no way he'd sign off on a little extra help around the lab. Why do you think I came to you?" The woman smirked, folding her arms across her chest as he continued to read through the rest of the form. He eventually reached for the pen from her hand, leaving his signature at the bottom. "Thanks, boss. I like the look by the way. The smooth shave looks good on you. Not that the facial hair didn't, but I've always preferred a clean shaven man."

"Oh..." Grissom smiled at her, smoothing his hand across his chin. "Thank you, Mandy."

"Thank you." She took her form back. "No offence, Mr Grissom, but you look like you could really use a vacation. I mean that in the nicest possible way. I know you love your job, but everyone needs a little time away from it every once in a while."

"I'm fine, thank you." Grissom finally made his way towards his office, finding their receptionist, Judy stood outside. "Good Morning, Judy."

"Oh, Mr Grissom." She seemed nervous.

"Do you have a message for me?"

"I told her to wait for you out there. But she said she'd rather wait in your office." Judy pointed inside to the woman admiring the objects on his shelving unit. "She insisted that she needed to see you now. I'm sorry, Mr Grissom. I tried to stop her."

"It's quite alright, Judy. Thank you. I'll handle this." Grissom pushed the door to his office open, smiling at the woman as she turned to face him. "Lady Heather, it's not like you to visit me. It's usually the other way around."

"Well I thought that you would feel more comfortable here in your own environment." Lady Heather watched him closing the door for some privacy, before she turned towards the shelf she had been looking at. "You collect strange things. An obsession or a hobby?"

"A little of both." He joined her side. "May I ask why you're here?"

"I wanted to thank you." She cast an eye towards him. "For the other day at the hospital with my daughter. My daughter and I still aren't speaking, but because of your work, you managed to clear my daughter of all charges. I knew in my heart that she wouldn't be capable of shooting someone, especially someone that was close to her, but I had my doubts."

"In the right circumstances, anyone can be capable of anything." He pointed out to her.

"It seems that you were right about the engagement."

Lady Heather turned to face him, holding onto the cross pendant of the necklace that was sitting around her neck. She looked anxious for the first time, which was very confusing to see in such a strong woman. He didn't think she was capable of such an emotion before today.

"It appears that she met the lawyer during her attempt to get custody of her daughter. She had a baby girl and I never knew. The psychiatrist from the school took the baby after she was born. He and his wife said that they would raise the child if Zoe promised to leave them alone. She hired the lawyer, Harland Summer's to fight for custody. I don't know how they ended up in a relationship together, but he promised to give her everything she wanted and now he's dead and she blames me... again."

"We caught the shooter." Grissom reminded her. "He's doing time in Clark County Jail now. It was an old case of his, nothing to do with Zoe or you."

"I wish that would be a comfort to my daughter."

"The birth mother always has rights over her own baby, especially in a case like your daughter's."

"Even if she signed papers?" She asked him, sighing softly as she turned towards the sofa in Grissom's office. "I thought I taught her well. How to be independent, stick up for herself and how others should treat her. I told her she could give anything to a man, but the one thing she could always hold back was her power. No one could take that away from her. But now here she is believing the lies of older men, signing over her own baby to people she barely knows. This is not the daughter that I raised." Lady Heather dropped to the sofa in his office, brushing her hair from her face. "Maybe it's me that's the problem. I never told her what I did for a profession, not out of shame, but worry. As much as I enjoy my life, it's not something I wanted for my daughter. It can be lonely. When she did find out... I've never seen such hate in her eyes before. She was disgusted with me. Her own mother."

"If I may ask." Grissom set down the files from his hands on the coffee table, taking a seat beside her. "Why come to me?"

Lady Heather smiled, lifting her gaze to meet his. "I feel that we have a great deal in common. Everyone who works for me knows me as this strong, confident woman. A few have stated that I have a cold icy exterior. Most don't know that I even have a daughter. The clients who walk through the front door are only interested in their own pleasure. I thought you would understand, because you see me as something different. I think you see me for who I am, not what I show the world."

After a long pause, the woman could see that the feelings weren't mutual.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mr Grissom."

"I..." He stopped her from leaving, trying to think of something to say. "I'm not good with people. I tend to avoid emotional situations, because I don't know how to deal with them. I don't know what you want from me, Lady Heather, but I know that I can't offer you anything in return."

"Do you like my lips?" She suddenly gave him a quizzical look.

"Excuse me?" He wasn't sure he heard her right.

"I've noticed that you seem to keep staring at my lips lately. Most people tend to look in the eyes of the person they're having a conversation with, unless they have something to hide. You've been staring at my lips. You keep close to me... in your sights. You're cautious about something."

"You have lovely lips." The man simply responded.

Lady Heather gave him a curious look, realising he was doing it again. "It's something more than that. You're losing something. You think it'll make you weak or different... your sense of balance, a sense that makes you a part of this world. Without it, you feel isolated from it."

Grissom gave out a sigh, before he nodded his head slightly.

"My hearing. I'm afraid I'm losing it. My mother had the same thing."

* * *

"Nothing yet, sorry."

"Thanks, Bobby. Tell me when you get something." As she stepped out of the ballistics lab, Sara couldn't help but notice the intimate moment between her significant other and the dominatrix in his office. She turned away before she felt the urge to throw up, rushing for the break room nearby. She pushed past Nick to get to the sink, taking in a few deep breaths.

"Hey, are you okay, Sara?" He leant against the sink counter beside her, watching her trying to hold something back. "Hang over?"

"Food poisoning." She shrugged it off, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

"I heard you got to work the IA investigation with Warrick."

"Jealous?" Catching the look of envy in his eyes, Sara gave him a smile, turning away from the sink as the nausea past. They always had a bit of healthy competition between the cases they were assigned. It was what she imagined having a real brother would have been like growing up. She hadn't seen or heard from her real brother since their first foster home, so Nick was as close to a sibling she had ever had.

"I'm not jealous." Nick folded his arms across his chest, trying to hide his envy. "But have you ever noticed that Grissom always seems to give you high priority cases over me. I've been here a lot longer than you. I have seniority."

Sara smiled at him, gently tapping him on the shoulder. "It's just luck, Nicky. This is a city of chance. What did you get stuck with?"

"Bogus B and E case. Nothin' was stolen."

"Unlucky." She gave him a sympathetic smile, before she gave him some pointers. "You know, maybe if you took some initiative in your case, rather than complaining or running to Grissom every time you need help, he might start taking you seriously as a CSI level three. You're supposed to be handling cases like these on your own by now, Nicky."

Nick responded with a glare. "You know I have this friend that I think you might..."

"Don't even finish that sentence." She cut him off, grabbing herself a cup to fill with some cold water. "I told you, I don't want to get set up, especially not with one of your friends."

"So you're just goin' to drink yourself into a coma every night instead?" He gave her a curious look as she cast her eyes towards him. She looked as though she was about to object to that statement, but something held her back. "Aren't you still on the rebound from that Hank guy? What did the frisky paramedic even do?"

"I am not on the rebound." She protested, taking slow sips to settle her stomach.

"What do you mean especially not one of my friends?" Nick finally took offence to that statement. "What's wrong with my friends? Is this still about that guy I introduced to you. I told you he was drunk."

"He was way too handsy for a first date." Sara cringed at the memory of the drunken lout. "And I mean not one of your friends, because you're a lady's man."

"I'm not. I don't have a different date every night. I haven't had a date for... two months." The offended Texan corrected her, dropping into a seat around the break room table. "Why does everyone always think that I'm that kind of guy? I'm not some womanisin' lady's man. Greg probably gets more dates than me. I know for a fact that Warrick has dated a lot more women than me... just because I'm passionate about somethin', does not make me a lady's man."

"I'm sorry, okay." She placed her hand on his shoulder, not realising it would hurt him that much. "Honestly, I don't think it's a bad thing to be associated with. I think you're considered a lady's man, because you enjoy spending time and flirting with the opposite sex. You're easy to talk to. A pleasure to be around and you have a great deal of respect for women. You're the kind of guy that women want to settle down with. Not the one night stand. You should take it as a compliment."

"Was that an offer?" He tilted his head back to look in her eyes.

Sara cracked into a grin, gently patting his shoulder. "Sorry, cowboy, but you're really not my type."

"I'm not your type." Nick looked offended again. "But Hank was?"

"Oh, the dirty details of Hank." Greg appeared at the break room doorway, rubbing his hands together as he looked between the two of them. "Have you told Nick what Hank's got that I don't got yet? Because I'm still waiting for my answer on that one, Sara."

"You turned him down too." Nick motioned towards the younger man in the doorway. "So that's three eligible bachelors that you've turned down for your paramedic?"

"Where did you get the three from?" Sara felt increasingly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. She didn't like discussing her relationships with friends back in college, let alone with colleagues that she saw practically every minute of every day. "There's only two of you."

"Greg, me and Super Dave. He's had a crush on you since you joined the team. Don't tell me that you didn't notice. You even gave him a C for cute." He directly quoted the woman, giving her one of his wide Texas smiles. "So we're not good enough for you, but Hank is?"

"In case you forgot my recent humiliation, Hank is gone. He's not even in the picture anymore." Sara decided to enlighten them both.

"Success!" Greg cheered, "So who's the lucky guy?"

"There is no guy." Sara brushed her hair back from her face, smiling as she looked between the two of them. "It's certainly not going to be either one of you. It would be like dating my brother. You're both younger than me."

"Better than going for the father angle with Grissom, who by the way is way more of a lady's man then me. Women just fall at it his feet." Nick continued to defend himself, still not liking the association.

"Like who?" She gave him a curious look, ignoring the father comment.

"Well, he's in his office right now with that dominatrix woman, Lady Heather." Greg pointed out to her. "Before that, he was with that foxy lady, Teri Miller. That new CSI on our shift, Sofia Curtis went out to dinner with him a few nights ago and he's always flirting with Catherine's mother, Lily."

"He's probably sleepin' with one of them... or all of them." Nick concluded, sighing softly as his socially awkward supervisor had more dates than him.

"When you do decide to start dating again, not as a rebound or anything." Greg quickly clarified, wishing she had chosen him first. "I think you should seriously consider me over, Nick."

"Why you?" The Texan glanced up at him, not noticing the look on Sara's face as she realised how much attention her significant other was getting from other women.

"For one thing, I'm younger than you, so I'm bound to make Hank more jealous." Greg gave him a cheeky grin. "For another, I'm cuter than you, which will make Hank more intimidated. And I don't spend all my time at the gym like you and Hank, so I'll have more time to wine and dine her."

"Hank doesn't go to the gym." Nick immediately flexed his muscles in his arm. "This takes a lot of work. Somethin' Hank doesn't have the time for. Or you, clearly. Do you actually have any muscles in that bag of bones you're carryin' around, G?"

"You don't need muscles to impress the ladies." Greg protested, "And Hank wouldn't..."

"Can you two just stop saying his damn name." Sara suddenly snapped at the two of them, sick of hearing it after what he did. "Hank is way out of the picture. He's long gone. I'm not looking for a rebound and I'm certainly not dating either one of you. You're both way too immature. You sound like squabbling little children on the playground. Grow up."

Ditching her cup by the sink, Sara stormed out of the break room, trying to avoid looking in the direction of her significant other's office.

Too late, she looked.

She saw Lady Heather and Grissom now standing up, sharing a tight embrace. She didn't want to be one of those women who freaked out every time her man even looked at another woman. She wasn't that kind of woman, but it hurt more than anything to see him like that, especially with a dominatrix. How could she possibly compete with that?

More importantly, how could he do that to her.

Did she even mean anything to him?

* * *

 **Enjoying the story? More on the way soon. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far.**

 **I hope you enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	5. Secrets and Lies

**Chapter Five - Secrets and Lies**

Hiding from the sunlight pouring in through her window, Sara covered her arm over her eyes, praying for just a few more minutes of sleep. She couldn't sleep last night because of her nausea. She spent most of her night in the bathroom, slumped over the toilet. She was considering calling in sick early, so she could take the rest of the night off, but that would involve speaking to the very man she was trying to avoid at the moment.

Letting out a groan, Sara adjusted herself against her pillow, hearing the all too familiar cry of her neighbour's baby.

Typical, just because she needed a few extra minutes before work.

He started out with his soft cries every few seconds, before he started his annoying whines, trying to get his mother's attention in the other room. His cries were so loud, it sounded as though he was in the same room as her, disrupting her sleep once again.

Before her new neighbour moved in with her screaming brat, Sara didn't even realise how paper thin her apartment walls were. She didn't want to have to move because of a neighbour and her noisy baby, but she didn't exactly have a choice at the moment.

She was already sleep deprived, well before she even had a baby of her own.

"Oh my God. Shut up!" Rolling the other way, Sara pulled her pillow over her head, clamping it down over her ear, but it only muffled his cries. She clamped the pillow down a little harder, until all she could hear was the whirring sound of her heart beat in her palm.

She released her grip after a few minutes, giving out a soft sigh as the mother had finally picked him up, bringing silence back to her apartment. She rolled herself over to try and doze off to sleep for a few extra minutes, only to be awoken by an obnoxious buzzing sound.

There was someone at her apartment door.

Crawling towards the edge of her bed, Sara grabbed her bathrobe off the back of her bedroom door, quickly pulling it on. She struggled to put her left arm through the sleeve for a moment, quickly grabbing the buzzing phone, before it stopped. "Yeah?" She croaked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Sara." She heard the man clear his throat. "It's me. Can I come up?"

Sara immediately glanced down at her bathrobe, before she combed her fingers through her pillow creased hair. She desperately needed a shower. She really needed to brush her teeth, but most of all, she needed to be anywhere but here right now.

Grissom couldn't see her like this.

"Uh... I'm not dressed, Gil." She answered, brushing her finger beneath her eye as she looked in the mirror beside her. She looked exactly how she felt.

Terrible.

"Sara... I," Grissom smiled at a neighbour exiting the building, waiting for him to leave, before he pressed down the button again. "I think that we need to talk. I can wait if you're not decent. Do you want a ride into work?"

Sara dreaded to think about what he wanted to say, but she couldn't make him stand outside, even if he was about to end things between them. "Alright, you can come up. I'm just going to get ready." She buzzed him through, putting the front door on the latch, before she hurried for the bathroom. She jumped straight in the shower to freshen up, hearing the door closing as Grissom made his way inside. She focused on making herself look slightly more presentable, rather than what he was going to say.

It couldn't be good, whatever it was. Good news was shared over the phone, not in her apartment at three in the morning.

Exiting the shower with a towel wrapped around her, Sara made a dash for her wardrobe, relieved that Grissom had chosen to stay in the front room. She managed to find a blouse that still fit despite her increasing waistline and bust size, before she squeezed into a pair of jeans.

"Morning." She bravely stepped out into the front room.

"Good Morning." Grissom immediately pushed himself to his feet off the sofa, smiling at the sight of her. She was beautiful. Her blouse was a little crumpled and her hair was still dripping wet, but the mere sight of her made him adore her even more. "I'm not too early, am I?" He checked his watch to make sure.

"It's okay. I was awake. Courtesy of my neighbour's baby. The little devil doesn't let me get much sleep these days... or nights actually." Sara ran her fingers through her wet hair, motioning towards the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee? I think I have some."

"No... thank you, I'm fine." He unzipped his jacket the rest of the way, still smiling at the woman.

"What's wrong? You're staring." Sara made her way through to the kitchen, feeling his eyes burning into her as she did. There was no way that he could know about their current situation, so that couldn't be the reason he wanted to speak to her. The only other thing she could think of was that he thought they should take a break from their relationship. She had heard it so many times before from other men and it almost always led to a break up.

That was the last thing she wanted right now.

Instead of speaking, Grissom watched her gracefully moving around the kitchen for a moment, before he decided to join her. "I haven't seen you in two days, Sara. I called you a few times."

"Yeah, I got your message mid shift last night." Sara rubbed the sleep from her eyes, grabbing the kettle off the side. "I'm sorry, I didn't have the chance to call you back." She had every chance, but she was too nervous to talk to him, especially after her nausea came back with a vengeance. "Are you sure you don't want one?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Leaning himself against the counter, Grissom folded his arms across his chest, giving her a smile every time she glanced up at him. "Sara, I didn't call you back on Tuesday, because I was with my mother." He felt as though he needed to explain himself, especially after she had been ducking his calls. "She's in town for a benefit dedicated to deaf children in care that she's invited me to. It's one of those silent auction ones." He reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the tickets she had given him. "I'd love it if you would be my plus one, Sara."

"Engraved in gold. Looks pricy already." Sara smirked, examining the tickets in his hands. "This weekend?" She caught sight of the date, anxiously biting her bottom lip as that didn't exactly give her a whole lot of time to look stunning rather than awful. They had never even discussed the possibility of meeting parents before.

This was a huge step and one she wasn't quite ready for or willing to take just yet.

"I know it's short notice..."

"I can't. I'm working this weekend." She interrupted him, relieved that she actually was. "I can't exactly take any time off for personal reasons, shortly after I've just got back from being suspended."

"I'm your supervisor." Grissom pointed out to her.

Sara shook her head, grabbing herself a mug from the cupboard above her. "You can't use your position to manipulate my working hours like that, Gil. That would be taking advantage. We're violating department policy as it is with our... relationship as it is. I don't want to give, Ecklie another excuse to hate me."

"Try not to take it too personally. Ecklie hates air. Let me worry about him."

"I'm sorry." Sara shook her head, trying to politely decline the offer to meet the potential future mother in law for the first time. "But I can't. As much as I would love to go to something with you that's out in public, I don't think that we're really... there, yet. I don't think we should tell any of them. Not Ecklie, not Catherine, Nick, Warrick or Greg. And not your mother. Not yet."

Grissom pursed his lips together, trying not to take it too personally as he gave her a nod. "Alright, another time then." He folded his arms a little tighter across his chest, watching her preparing herself some cereal, before she took a seat at the counter with her coffee. "Sara... are you ashamed of us?" He had to ask.

"No." She shook her head, finishing off her mouthful of cereal. "Absolutely not... why would I be ashamed?"

Leaving his position against the counter, Grissom took a seat opposite her, struggling to put his thoughts into words for a moment. He didn't want to cause any tension between them, but he couldn't let things go on like this.

"Sara... we don't see each other outside of work, besides the occasional dinner at our apartments. You won't let me take you out anywhere. You decline every offer I give you to come out with me. I know we haven't been seeing each other intimately for that long, but I thought that we were still... close." He struggled to let his feelings out to her. He had been thinking about what to say all the way over here, but it didn't make any sense to him anymore. "If you're avoiding me because of the case I put you on..."

"The IA investigation?" The woman shook her head. "It's... nothing that I can't handle." She had completely forgotten about the threat that deputy Miles made after they charged him with the wrongful death of that young girl. She did have other things on her mind and she was practically threatened by a suspect every day at the lab. "What happened at the lab... it's got nothing to do with you."

"Then is it something that I did?"

"No, it's really not anything to do with you." Sara glanced down at her stomach, breathing in a deep breath. She really wanted to tell him, but she still couldn't get the words out. She felt as though she had committed a terrible crime in their relationship by allowing something like this to happen. She felt that if she breathed even one word of this to him, everything would change and she wouldn't be able to get it back. "I'll go to the benefit with you." She decided to take the easy option.

"I don't want you to." Grissom surprised her.

"Huh?" She looked confused. "Why not?"

The man looked down at his hands, shrugging his shoulders together. "I don't want you to go if you don't want to be there, Sara. I don't know how to deal with a lot of this, because I've never really had to care about anyone else's feelings but my own before, but I would never want to force you to do something that you don't want to do. So I retract my offer, you're no longer invited."

Sara couldn't help but smile, reaching her hand across the counter for his. She gently grasped his fingers in her own, adoring the look in his eyes as he lifted his gaze. "I'm not ashamed of you, Gilbert. Far from it."

"Then why must we hide in the shadows like we're doing something wrong?"

"We're not... hiding." Sara sighed softly, brushing her thumb across the back of his hand. "I don't think that we're doing anything wrong. I kinda just want something that's... you know, mine. I grew up with everyone knowing that my mother killed my father. Other kids at school, their parents, teachers, every social worker, foster parent... they identified me as the girl who's mother stabbed her father to death, rather than by who I really was."

"Oh..." Grissom never saw it from her point of view before, feeling a little guilty for trying to push her.

"I hope you can understand that I just want my own identity. My own privacy, without everyone else interfering or knowing our business. I don't want to be part of the lab gossip or have everyone knowing, because I want us to be private. It's nobody's business but ours what we do. I'm not ashamed to be with you. I just want you to myself." She gave the man a nervous smile, hoping she didn't sound too paranoid or possessive. She already had one deal breaker growing inside her, she couldn't add anymore to the mix. "Do you understand?"

"I do." The man nodded, weaving his fingers through hers. "I don't mind us being private. Sara, if you're ever uncomfortable with our relationship. I want you to tell me. I want you to feel comfortable with me."

"I do." Sara looked down at their hands, wishing that she could just tell him, but she still couldn't get the words out. She feared that the news of this baby would mean the last of their close relationship. She feared his reaction to it or how the team at the lab would look at them.

But most of all, she feared losing the man she had fallen in love with.

* * *

"New leads in the double homicide that happened here at the Sphere Hotel and casino, just last night. According to new sources within the Las Vegas crime lab, the killer or killers most likely fled the room CSIs dubbed 'Murder Central', the nearest room to the emergency exit." The news reporter broadcasted from the lab's break room television.

Nick gulped softly, realising where they got that little piece of information. He knew he shouldn't have stopped to talk to his old Highschool buddy, Kenny, but it wasn't like he knew that he was going to be there. He hadn't seen the man in years, he wasn't expecting to ever meet anyone from old life back in Texas out here in Las Vegas.

The news reporter continued, "CSI's are currently checking the hotel and casinos surveillance footage in an effort to identify possible suspects. In other news..."

Nick dropped his head into his hands, wondering if this day could get any worse.

Grabbing the remote off the table, Warrick clicked the television off, casting an eye towards the younger man. "Man, don't tell me you opened your big mouth to that guy I saw you reminiscing with. You could lose your job over something like this. You know we're not supposed to give the press any information, no matter how big or small. Gris is gonna flip out when he hears about this."

Nick anxiously shifted from one foot to the other, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I know... but what am I supposed to do about it now?"

"If I were you, I'd go find the big man and fess up. Before he finds you."

"Fess up to what?" The Texan pleaded the innocent card, something that worked like a charm on his own mother. "It's not like I was the one who actually ran my mouth off to the press. I never spoke to them. There were hundreds of people in that hotel and the casino, any one of them could have spoken to that reporter."

"But they didn't, it was your Highschool buddy that you ran your mouth off to and he decided to tell the press. Looks bad, man." Warrick sucked in a sharp breath, shaking his head at him. "You can't lie to your supervisor about something like this."

"It's not really a lie if..."

"Lie about what?" Grissom appeared behind them. He glanced between the two men, not noticing the look that Nick gave Warrick in an attempt to keep him silent. "Our serial killers have struck again. Grab your kits, we're moving out." He held the door open, letting Warrick past him, but he let the door go as Nick approached him. "Lie about what?" He gave the younger man a curious look. He could tell he was hiding something from the way he was biting his lip and the look in his eyes. He could see the guilt written all over his face, but he didn't have time to get to the bottom of it right now.

"Shouldn't we..." Nick scratched his head. "You know, go to this crime scene."

Grissom grabbed the door handle, giving the man a third degree glare as they left for their scene. He could feel his supervisor's eyes burning into the back of him once they got to work, wondering if he really did know or if he was just trying to scare him.

"Are you okay?" Sara capped the swab of blood she found, giving her colleague a curious look. "Nick, what's wrong with you? It doesn't normally take you thirty minutes to find a new battery for your camera."

"Is he watchin' me?" Nick finally slotted in the battery from his hand, closing up the back of his camera.

"Who?" Sara looked around at their scene, wondering what he was so paranoid about. She could see Captain Brass stood over by the hotel manager. Grissom was with David and the coroner, trying to get their victim out of the ice machine, while Warrick was talking to the witness that found him. "No one is looking, Nick." She turned back to him. "What'd you do?" She gave him a suspicious look.

"Nothin'." He glanced up, noticing Grissom looking their way.

"Stop acting so paranoid then," Playfully slapping his arm, she motioned towards the evidence that needed photographing. He still seemed distracted, but he managed to take a few photos of the evidence, so she could pick it up with her tweezers. "I didn't know you played Highschool baseball." She mentioned a little fact she had found out, grinning as he immediately rolled his eyes. "So it's true then?"

"How did you know? Warrick told you, didn't he?"

"Didn't have to. The guilt is written all over your face. And I caught the news interview. Your buddy mentioned you by name, before he spilled the beans on our case. Nice one, Nicky. Feeding information to the bad guys is exactly what we needed in this case." The woman sarcastically remarked. She covered her hand over her mouth as she stepped closer to the cleaning lady's trolley, feeling a little nauseous from the scent of the cleaning products. She took a step back from it, fighting the urge to throw up.

"Looks like I'm not the only one hidin' somethin'. Late night drinkin' again, Sara? Still drownin' your sorrows over the boyfriend who's name you no longer want to hear?"

"Shut up." She gave him a stern look. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"You probably don't wonna hear this right now, Sara." Nick watched her trying to hold down last night's binge. "But I think that you have a problem."

"Maybe I do, but alcohol has nothing to do with it."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Sara made a dash for the side of the motel building, barely making it to the bushes. She held herself up with her hands on her knees, throwing up all that remained of her breakfast. She realised how bad it looked as Nick joined her, handing her his bottle of water, but she couldn't tell him the truth, no matter how badly she wanted to prove her innocence.

"Thank you." She took the bottle he offered her.

"Don't mention it." Nick watched her taking a few sips, before he handed her the pack of bubblicious strawberry gum from his pocket. "If the drink isn't your problem... then you must be pregnant." He spoke softly, gritting his teeth together as he saw the look on her face. "That explains the permanent mood you've been in lately."

"I have not." Sara put her back to the motel wall, popping the gum in her mouth. It had a horrible taste to it, but it masked the taste of vomit in her mouth.

"How far along are you?" He curiously asked her.

"My doctor recons ten weeks."

"Have you told the father?" Nick knew that it was none of his business, since it was her private life, but he was curious to know if she had even told the other party involved.

"Don't go there." She warned him. "It's really none of your business, Nick."

"I know that." He adjusted the camera in his hands. "But if it were me, I would want to know. It's half his responsibility too. The baby will be a part of him. He has a right to know. If you ask me, men get a raw deal in the pregnancy business. Who wouldn't want to know that they have a baby on the way? You get to feel it grow, while us men have no idea that it even exists."

Sensing the topic had hit a nerve, Sara straightened up, reaching out for his hand. "I will tell him... eventually. I'm still getting used to the idea myself though. What would you know about it anyway?"

"My uh..." He had never told anyone before, but he didn't want someone else to go through what he did. "My Highschool girlfriend... Melissa... she got pregnant after our Highschool prom. She broke up with me after graduation... never told me why. I didn't find out until I started college. Her sister slapped me square across the face, askin' me if I had any idea what I had put her little sister through. Melissa had an abortion... without tellin' me. I uh... I always pictured us gettin' married and havin' kids someday. I loved her... but I couldn't even look at her after I found out that she had practically killed my kid without tellin' me. I could have had a daughter or a son, but she never even gave me that option."

"I'm sorry, Nick." Reaching for his hand, Sara gave it a gentle squeeze, surprised that he had gone through all of that alone without telling anyone. He had always been so open about everything else. "For the record, I think you'd have made a great Dad."

Nick smiled slightly, looking up at Sara. "I think you'd make an amazin' mother, Sara,"

"I doubt that." She sighed softly, already feeling completely out of her depth with just the pregnancy part of it. "I didn't exactly have the best role model growing up. I can't stand baby's and I hate kids. I have no idea what I'm going to do when this kid comes along."

"Don't make any decisions until you've told the father. He has a right to know. It's his baby too."

"I'm keeping it." Sara assured him, knowing she shouldn't have even told him that much. "And I'm gonna tell him. I will... eventually... but it's not who you think it is." She stopped him from jumping to conclusions. "I've done the math and there's no way that cheating liar, Hank could be the father. The dates don't match up and my doctor agrees. I would be much further along if it was him, which it isn't... thankfully."

"He cheated on you?" He suddenly felt angry towards the other man. He hadn't seen him that many times, but he didn't look like the kind of guy who would do such a thing. "I'm sorry... I thought you just dumped him because he wasn't your type or somethin'. You shoulda told me." He changed to protective brother mode. "I could have sorted him out for you."

Sara smiled slightly, gently patting his shoulder. "It's okay, we weren't right for each other. No big heart break there. I guess that's a clear sign that it wasn't meant to be. I find out he has another girlfriend and I don't feel anything."

"So, if it's not, Hank's?" He fished for information.

"I'm not telling you, so don't even ask." Pushing herself off the wall, Sara handed the pack of gum back to him, getting back to work before their supervisor spotted them taking a break. She noticed Nick glancing up to see if the older man was looking their way every few minutes, but at least now he was more focused on their work. She didn't intend to tell anyone before she told the father of the baby, but she knew that she could trust, Nick to keep her secret.

She felt relieved that someone finally knew, but she started to feel guilty that it wasn't the father.

When Grissom decided to split them up to handle different aspects of the case, Sara got to return to the lab, thankful for the spare toothbrush she kept in her locker. She rinsed away the second bout of morning sickness, getting herself an ice cold drink, before she got back to work.

In her baby books, she read that a lot of women considered morning sickness as a minor inconvenience of their pregnancy. It was a lot more than a minor inconvenience to her. She couldn't even walk into most of the labs now without feeling as though she was going to throw up.

"What's all this?" She found her colleague dusting dozens of coins on the layout table.

"Magic fingers." Nick wiggled his eyebrows at her, seeing no recognition in her eyes. "The vibratin' beds from the motel. How has no one ever heard of them? For twenty five cents, you get fifteen minutes of vibrations. Awesome durin' sex and better if you're tryin' to sleep. Gris thinks that due to our serial killers appetite for sex, they probably used it while they were in the room, so I have to go over every coin."

"Looks like you're on his shit list, Nicky." She smiled sympathetically. "Did you tell him yet?"

"I think he knows..." Nick stared absently at the coins for moment, lifting his gaze to meet Sara's. "I bet he's just tryin' to make me sweat with the third degree."

"You know, you could tell him. Surely it's better coming from you." Sara suggested, feeling as though she was giving her brother advice on how to deal with their father. "I think it will be a lot better if you tell him, rather than just waiting it out."

"Oh yeah, I'll get right on that." The man sarcastically remarked. "Did you tell the father yet?"

Sara gave the back of his head a playful slap, scowling at him as she left him to his coins. If only he knew that they both had something to tell the very same person.

"Sidle."

Freezing on the spot in the hallway, Sara slowly turned to face the lab supervisor, giving out a soft sigh as she saw the expression on his face. He did not look happy. He never did when she was around, but he looked even angrier than last time. She sighed softly, joining the man just outside of his office.

"You're working the serial killer case with Grissom?" Ecklie enquired.

"Yes." Sara nodded, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "Why?"

"I'm pulling you from the case." The man handed her the file from his hands, before she had a chance to complain, glancing back into his office as the phone started to ring. "Sofia needs your help on a domestic. I've cleared it with your supervisor already. She's down in autopsy." He left her to read the file, quickly grabbing his phone.

Trying to contain her anger, Sara skim read through the first few pages of the file, waiting for Ecklie to finish his phone call, before she complained. "Why am I getting pulled from the serial killer case? It's a high profile case. Is this punishment for the other week? I've been working this case for eighteen hours, you can't just pull me from the case now."

"Decisions already been made." Ecklie shrugged his shoulders together, waiting for her to snap, so he could finally fire her.

Just give me a reason, Sidle. He thought to himself.

Sara bit her tongue, giving out a sigh. She turned on her heels, holding back the urge to vomit as she reluctantly made her way down to autopsy. She plugged her nostrils as she walked inside, forcing a smile in the direction of the other woman.

"Let me guess, you're my backup?" Sofia removed the goggles from her face, taking a step closer now that Doctor Robbins had cut through the rib cage of their victim. "Join us. This is our victim, Amanda Morgan. Thirty eight. Neighbour called it in."

"I read the file." Sara remarked, pulling on a lab coat. She kept her distance from the body, trying not to breath in too much as she was already feeling nauseous. "Ecklie said it was a domestic?"

"I thought you read the file?" The blonde cracked a grin, before she gave her a nod. "Neighbour's called the police, stating they heard raised voices, followed by a scream. It wasn't the first time they had been called out to this address. Police rolled up, found our victim here on the floor and her husband sat beside her with a baseball bat in his lap. They said he was catatonic. They didn't even have to wrestle him into the car. He's getting a psych assessment now."

"Oh." Sara gulped softly, realising it was that kind of a domestic. She wasn't ready to deal with another one so soon, but they were part of the job around here.

No matter how much she wanted to avoid them.

Sara folded her arms tightly across her chest as the man continued with the autopsy, feeling a chill running down her spine. Their victim reminded her so much of her own mother, especially the bruises around the eyes, making her queasy.

"There's the killing blow." Doctor Robbins pointed it out, glancing up at Sara. "Do you wonna take a closer look?"

"I'm sorry, I can't."

Rather than stepping forwards to get a better look, Sara quickly turned to escape, just making it to the ladies room, before she threw up in the first empty stall. She dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, holding her head in her hands as she struggled to breath. She felt as though she was going to throw up again, but instead she just felt sweaty and shaky. She wanted to lie down and go to sleep right now, but she still had the rest of her shift to get through.

Something that used to seem a whole lot easier before she became pregnant.

This baby was already ruining her life and it wasn't even born yet. She dreaded to think what would happen to their lives once it was here.

* * *

Stepping off the elevator, Grissom examined the file he had been handed on his way in, glancing up to give the receptionist a smile. He turned for his office down the hall, bumping into Sofia as she exited the DNA lab. "Good Morning. I didn't think you were joining us this week. I thought you were back on days."

"Apparently, Ecklie thinks that my move to graveyard shift should be made more permanent. Not that I mind the change of hours, but I would have preferred to be consulted first." Sofia sighed softly, closing the file she had in her hands. "I think you should know that Conrad has been questioning your abilities to supervise. Lately, I'd have to say that I agree with him. Giving information to the press on an active case for starters." She gave him a curious look.

Grissom stared at her lips for a moment, not quite catching what she said.

"How did you let that one happen, Gil?"

"I'm handling the issue." Grissom reached for his office door behind him, ushering her inside, away from the prying ears of the lab. He wanted to give his CSI the chance to confess or realise how bad his decision was, before he took further action. He still needed his team to focus on the case, rather than worrying about the status of their jobs. "It's not really Ecklie's concern. I'm still the supervisor of this team."

"Conrad thinks you're losing control of your team. You don't take disciplinary action against your people, especially where it is deserved. I'm just telling you what he told me." Sofia took a few steps closer to his desk, anxiously looking down at her files as she told him, "Gil, he's gone to the lab director with this."

"With what? There's nothing wrong with my team." He raised his voice a little.

"What about, Catherine Willows using the lab for a paternal DNA test? She used case evidence to do it, which could have got the whole case thrown out of court against, Sam Braun." Sofia folded her arms tighter across her chest, watching the man ditching the file from his hands on the desk, before he took a seat. "Sara Sidle taking her anger out on a supervisor, refusing to apologise to Ecklie for her behaviour and now today, bolting on a case. Warrick Brown leaving a rookie alone to go and place a bet. A rookie that ended up dead a few hours later. And Nick Stokes talking to the press about an ongoing case, which made our serial killers change their mo. It doesn't look good, Gil."

"Let me worry about my people." Grissom organised the files on his desk, before he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He didn't have time to deal with lab politics right now. He never really had time for it, but Ecklie always managed to bring it up.

It was times like this that he really wished he wasn't in charge.

"Gil." The woman startled him out of his thoughts. "What about my case? I'm still down a partner."

Picking up his glasses off the desk, Grissom pushed them up the bridge of his nose, before he glanced up at her. "I'll send, Warrick over to help you out with your case. I'll check on, Sara." He assured her, waiting for her to leave, before he pulled open the bottom drawer of his desk. He grabbed for the portable CD player, positioning the headphones over his ears. He used to like the peace and quiet, but he could really do with the noise to distract him at the moment.

Grissom stared at the file he had open in front of him for a while, unable to read the words from the level of concentration. He tried blinking a few times or rubbing his eyes, but it was all still a blur.

Pulling the headphones off, Grissom dropped them to his desk, giving out a soft sigh. He glanced up as someone passed by his office, quickly clambering his feet to catch them. "Nick!" He glared at the younger man, ushering him into his office with a quick gesture. He didn't like losing his temper, but it was rapidly turning into one of those days.

Nick gulped softly, stepping inside the man's office. He closed the door behind him, feeling his palms starting to sweat as his supervisor dropped back into his chair.

"Where are we at with the coins?" The man changed his tune, trying not to let Ecklie get to him so much.

"I got quite a few prints. They've all just been sent off to the print lab. Hopefully, Mandy can get a match for us. I'm just headin' to the print lab now." Nick motioned over his shoulder, feeling his throat suddenly becoming dry as his supervisor gave him the look. He knew he was in trouble. He could tell from the moment he shouted his name, but he didn't realise how much trouble he was in until he saw that look of disappointment in his supervisor's eyes.

"What's our purpose, Nick?"

"What?" He wasn't sure he heard him right.

"Our purpose." Grissom repeated himself, rubbing his forehead as one of migraine's started coming on. He knew it was stress related, but he still had so much to do before he could head home. "As crime scene investigators, what is our purpose?"

"Uh..." He thought it was a trick question for a moment, but the man was waiting for a real answer. "To analyse the evidence of a crime scene."

"We're the voice of victims who have none, Nick." Grissom corrected him with a sigh. "The most important part of any case is always the victim. When you go shooting your mouth off to an old friend about the details of the case, you're betraying the victim. By opening your mouth, you caused our serials to change their mo and kill two more people."

Nick gulped a little harder this time, looking down at his feet.

"The families of these victims place their trust in us. Once you open your mouth, it's all over, Nicky. What you say about a crime scene or a victim matters, especially when it ends up on the news." Pushing himself to his feet, Grissom ditched his glasses on the desk, giving out another disappointed sigh. "I'm not going to suspend you... this time." He decided, spotting Sara making her way through the hall. "You're on lab duty, until further notice. You can't leave the lab and you'll be working under supervision until I feel you're ready for the field." He warned the man, taking off for the door a moment later.

Throwing open the door to his office, Grissom quickly weaved through the lab staff clogging up the hallway, just missing the woman he adored by seconds. He sighed softly as he watched the elevator doors closing in front of him, quickly glancing up at the lights to see where it stopped.

Just his luck, rooftop.

"Hey, Gil. You got a minute?" Catherine caught him waiting at the doors. "Brass told me to give you this. Another case just came in. College kid found dead in the tub. Do you want me to pass it off to Ecklie's team? They should be coming in soon, right?" She double checked her watch.

"You can take it." He sighed, turning away from the doors. "I think our serial killers case is covered at the moment."

"Are you okay?" She gave him a concerned look.

"Fine." The man rubbed his temples, looking around at the busy lab. His headache was only getting worse, but they had too much work to deal with for him to take any time off at the moment. "Take Sara with you. I'm sending, Warrick over to help out, Sofia with her case. Nick and Greg can stay on the serial killers case with me. Catherine, do you question my ability supervise?" He asked her a personal question.

"No." Catherine folded her arms across her chest. "Why? Thinking about a career change, Gil."

"I've been told to expect one. Conrad feels as though I'm not running an effective team."

"That's bull and you know it. We're a great team. We hit some bumps in the road, just like any other team, but we always work together well in the end. Hey," Not sure he was really listening to her, Catherine jabbed him in the arm, making him look up. "We're a great team. We're much more than just a team. We're a family. A dysfunctional one, but we're still a family. That's why we work so well together. Most days. It's a big case. It puts everyone on edge. I'm sure that Nick didn't mean to spill the beans to that old friend of his. He's just proud of what he does. He just needs to learn to keep his mouth shut is all."

"And Sara?" Grissom asked, folding his arms across his chest. "I think even you agree that I have no control over her behaviour."

"We all have our tough cases." Catherine sympathised with her, giving the man a reassuring smile. "I think you're a brilliant man, Gil. Leadership isn't exactly your strong suit, but you've done the best you can with the position that was forced on you. I know the guys look up to you. We all respect you. That's real leadership."

Sighing softly, Grissom tilted his head back, wondering if a demotion would be such a bad thing. He never applied for the job in the first place. After Brass was demoted, he was just handed the position and expected to survive. He hated the work load. He couldn't stand the lab politics, but he rather enjoyed managing and teaching others.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts." Catherine gave him a smile, stepping away from the man. She turned back to check on him, worrying about what she would do if he wasn't around. He was the reason that she wanted to stay in Las Vegas. She passed up the opportunity to manage her own team out in San Diego, because she didn't want to leave behind the family she had here.

Also, her mother would never forgive her if she moved her only grandchild away from her.

Grabbing her cell from her belt, Catherine hit her colleagues speed dial, waiting for an answer. "Hey, Sara. We're being pulled from the serial killer case. Grab your kit, we're heading to college town. We've got a dead college kid. Grissom wants you and me to work it."

"What?" Sara breathed in a deep breath of fresh air from the rooftop of the lab, trying to settle her stomach.

"I know, it sucks. But we're still technically on shift," Catherine glanced at her watch, reminding herself that she needed to call her mother to tell her that she might be running a little late. She didn't mind missing the morning car pool to Lindsey's school, but she hated not being there to wish her a good day. "We're up, so grab your kit. I'll meet you by my car in a few minutes."

"Okay." The woman hung up, replacing her phone to her pocket.

She looked down at the city below, breathing in another deep breath. She knew that she should have stayed in bed this morning. She could barely breathe without feeling as though she was going to throw up at the moment. She hoped it wouldn't be like this for the rest of her pregnancy. She didn't think she could handle this feeling of sickness for the next few months.

If this was what it was like to be pregnant, there was no way she'd ever consider having another. She still didn't want the one that she was currently pregnant with. She still had no idea how she was going to tell, Grissom. She was scared out of her mind about this pregnancy progressing any further, but there was nothing she could do now that it was rapidly growing inside her.

There was nothing she could do about any of it.

Even freaking out was completely out of the question.

Abandoning the fresh breeze on the rooftop, Sara reluctantly returned to work, trying to hide her symptoms from her colleague in the process.

An exhausting task.

When they arrived at their crime scene, Sara was expecting to find an overdosed college kid in the bathroom or something. The last thing she was expecting was the deputy inside to hand them an umbrella, so they could make their way through the raining house. She felt the familiar symptoms of nausea as they made their way through the house, clamping her hand over her mouth as they reached the bathroom, where their bloated college kid had died in a bath tub full of water.

"Looks like the weathers clearing. Oh..." She stood back from the doorway, letting Catherine go in first. She didn't think she could stomach going any further, especially with the familiar feeling of sickness beginning to rise in her throat. "There's something you don't see every day."

"It's like a sewer in here." Catherine trudged through the liquid in her boots, approaching the bath tub. "It's... soup. Man soup." She cringed, examining the completely bloated floating body of their victim. "What do you think, Sara? Passed out drunk in the tub. Maybe he overdosed. Or just fell asleep. That's a lot of decomp."

"It's awful... whatever happened." Sara struggled to breathe, gagging on the thickness of the smell.

"Hey, Detective." Catherine smiled up at him.

"Another day in paradise." Detective O' Riley plugged his nostrils, giving Sara a curious look as she remained put by the door. He didn't think that she was the squeamish type from the cases they had worked over the years, but she could barely breathe, fighting the urge to throw up.

"So, what are we looking at here?" The woman asked, trying not to breathe in too much herself.

"Roommates last saw him Thursday night. They took off for the weekend and came home to this. They thought it was just a leak... but then they found him."

"Sara." Catherine glanced over her shoulder, watching the woman gagging out in the hall. "Do you need a minute?"

"I'm okay." She choked out.

Leaving the dead body where it was, Catherine stepped out into the hall with her, catching her just as she bent to throw up. "And I thought you had a strong stomach." She patted her back while she let it out, realising it didn't make much of a difference to their flooded crime scene.

"I'm sorry." Sara held her hand over her mouth. "I'll be alright in a minute."

Sara threw up again, fighting to breathe.

"No, you won't." The older woman shook her head, gently smoothing her hand up and down Sara's back for a moment. "The nausea, vomiting, constant fatigue, mood swings... you're pregnant." She came to her own conclusion, based on the past few weeks of evidence. "I'm right, aren't I? How long have you known?"

Sara shook her head, trying to deny it, but the woman already knew. "Damn." She sighed, wishing that Grissom was the only one who knew.

"C'mon Sara, I'm not an idiot. I went through it all with Lindsey, remember. How long have you known?"

"About four weeks. I think I'm around ten weeks by now." Straightening up, Sara glanced over her shoulder at the detective, realising he had heard every word. She didn't know the detective that well, but they weren't known for keeping their mouths shut when it came to gossip. "You can't tell anyone." She looked between the two of them. "I'm dealing with this on my own."

"Sara, you can't work out in the field if you're pregnant. It's against lab policy." Catherine pointed out to her. "You're putting yourself, your baby and our crime scenes at risk. You have to tell your supervisor."

"No, not Grissom." She shook her head.

"You have to, Sara. Anyone who becomes pregnant has to go through a risk assessment with their supervisor. If you don't feel comfortable talking to Grissom about it, or Ecklie for obvious reasons, then I can stand in. They'll probably decide to put you on lighter lab duties and less hours, until you take your maternity leave. Believe me, you'll want less hours to work when you get further along. You can't manage the hours that we work while you're pregnant." The experienced mother explained it to her, remembering going through it with one of the lab technician's that didn't feel comfortable talking to Grissom either. "For now, just head back to the lab. I'll tell Grissom that I didn't need you here. You can work from the lab."

"What about...?" Sara made a gesture towards the man in the bathroom.

"I'll talk to the Detective, don't worry. He won't say a word, but you have to tell your supervisor. I'll do the risk assessment with you and report back to him as soon as you've told him."

Sara wished that the woman knew just how complicated that was.

If it were normal circumstances, she wouldn't feel awkward about telling her supervisor anything, but he happened to be the father of the baby she was carrying around inside her.

Reluctantly returning to the lab, Sara made her way to the ladies room to freshen up once again, before she got to work helping the lab technicians with the extra work load. She steered clear of autopsy in case it set her off again, trying to figure out how to break the news of her pregnancy to the one man that she never wanted to disappoint.

Spotting the man in question making his way down the hall, Sara quickly ducked into the nearest lab, hoping he didn't see her.

"So now you're discrediting your own eye witness, because he doesn't share your opinion on your deputies?" He continued his heated conversation with Captain Brass. "Just because your deputies weren't the shooters, it doesn't mean that they weren't involved."

"Oh what, so it's a conspiracy?" Brass snapped right back at him. "I know those men. They're good cops. They would never do something like this. There's bogus nine - one - one calls made every day. You can't seriously think that my deputies would be involved in something like this."

Sara watched them walk by, giving out a soft sigh, before she realised she wasn't alone in the lab. "Oh... hi, Greg. What's up? What are you working on there?" She tried to distract him.

"Nothing much." The younger man gave her a suspicious look for a moment, before he broke into a smile. "I see it now."

"See what?" She turned as pale as the doorframe behind her.

"Grissom shaved his beard. He's lost a little weight. He actually combs his hair everyday now, irons his shirts and he's been leaving the lab before his shift is even over. I think he even took a day off last week. I was just thinking that maybe he has some lucky lady on the side and now I realise..."

"This is not my day." Sara sighed softly, dropping into the seat in front of him. "Why don't I just broadcast it to the whole frigging lab?"

"Seriously, I was just making a wild guess... but I was right? You and the big man?" Breaking into another grin, Greg clapped his hands together, leaning against the table in front of her. "I don't even have to ask what he's got that I don't got. But if he ever breaks your heart..."

"You're terrified of him, Greg. There's no way you can follow through with that threat." She smirked at him.

"I was actually going to say, if he breaks your heart and you need a rebound, you know where to find me. I'm always available for you, Sara." The younger man gave her a cheeky grin, grabbing the files off the edge of the desk. "You're a much better match for him then that dominatrix woman or the sophisticated foxy lady he was with the other day. Do you think maybe I would have a shot with either of them?"

"The dominatrix? No way. She's not a right match for you, Greg. And Teri is too old for you. You should find someone your own age, who loves you for who you are and someone who can give you beautiful baby's." She smiled at her pseudo younger brother, not wanting to see him end up with someone like Lady Heather.

As a matter of fact, she didn't want that woman anywhere near any of the men in her life. She didn't know her very well, but she felt more than threatened by her friendship with Grissom. She didn't trust him to make the right call where that woman was concerned.

She wanted to trust him, but she had never been able to trust anyone with her heart.

* * *

 **Secrets out with a few of her colleagues. Grissom's in the thick of it at the lab. Any idea what's going to happen to next?**

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far. I haven't written much further than chapter 10 for this story at the moment due to extreme hot weather, but it's beginning to cool down a bit, so I might be able to get back into it. I don't cope with hot weather well. I'm more of a winter girl. Hot weather for me equals headaches and nose bleeds.** **Sara's still around 10 weeks pregnant though, so we have a long journey to get through yet.**

 **Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this last chapter!**

 **Enjoy your summer.**

 **~ Holly**


	6. Oblivious

**Chapter Six - Oblivious**

"Alright, I think that's it." Catherine completed the report.

"You really don't have to tell, Grissom, do you?" Climbing up from her chair, Sara anxiously looked at the woman in front of her, worried about what she was going to say. Completing an interview with a friend about what she was going through was hard enough, but telling the man she was falling for about what they were expecting seemed a lot harder.

It was a lot harder. She had been trying for four weeks now and she was no closer to telling him the truth.

"He is your supervisor, Sara." Catherine removed the glasses from her face, dropping them to her desk. "If you want, I'll leave it up to you to tell him, but he needs to know before you change your hours. He'll be informed once I file these anyway."

"How long do I have?" Sara hoped she had several months to prepare her speech, but she feared that it would only be a few weeks.

"Uh..." The woman sighed, looking at the file she had in front of her. "The earliest you can take your maternity leave is eleven weeks before your due date. That's around twenty nine weeks pregnant. They'll probably want to put you on lighter lab duties around your second trimester though... so you have about three or four weeks."

"Three weeks?" Sara anxiously bit her bottom lip, gulping hard as the man in question walked by the office.

"I'm guessing. It might be more, depending on what they decide upstairs." Catherine pushed herself to her feet. "It'll depend on your health or ability to perform your job. Believe me, you're going to want less hours when you get that big. You've still got nausea, fatigue, midnight sweats... all sorts to look forwards to." She shuddered at the thought of going through all of that again. She wouldn't go through all of that again for all the money in the world. Pregnancy was a nightmare, but Lindsey was an angel. "I can tell him if you think it'll be too awkward. "

"No, I should be the one to tell him."

"Are you sure?" Catherine gave her a curious look.

"Yeah... it should be me. It'll be better coming from me."

Catherine's lips suddenly spread into a smile, catching the look in Sara's eyes. "Okay. If you think that's what's best." She couldn't suppress her grin, gently patting the other woman on the shoulder. "I'll leave it to you to tell him. I'll give you a few weeks, before I file these." She motioned towards the paperwork on her desk. "But I would do it sooner rather than later. It'll be harder the longer you leave it."

"I'll tell him." Sara sighed softly, finally grabbing the door to the woman's office. She was sick of this feeling of pressure on her chest, so she knew that she had to tell him soon. Just not today, because she was on her way home right now. It was the only excuse she had to hold onto at the moment. The only excuse that made her shoulders feel a little lighter. She didn't know if it was the guilt of him not knowing or the fact that Nick and Catherine had known for nearly a week now that weighed her down more.

Either way, she had to get out of here before the feeling returned.

Too late.

Stopping outside of the man's office, Sara placed her hand on the window, ready to give it a knock, but the man had an intense look of concentration on his face that she didn't want to disturb. She felt the guilt returning as she turned for the locker room, eager to grab her things and head home.

Her buildings parking lot was still out of commission, so she parked across the street, spotting the mother's walking their kids off to school. She stayed put in the driver's seat for a few minutes, realising that would be her in a few short years. She would have to change her hours around at work in order to get her child off to school. She would have to pack their bag for the day, remind them to do their homework, give them lunch money.

All the things her own mother never did for her, because she was too busy with her own problems to even be a mother to her and her brother.

Most days, Sara used to have to drag her mother out of bed, just to get her up and moving. She quite often had to bath her, dress her, clean her clothes and take care of her younger brother in the process. She fetched a beer for her father when he returned home, then started making dinner for the lot of them, while her mother remained in bed, feeling sorry for herself. She wished that she could forgive her for that, but she had so many chances to just leave her father. She threw him out then took him back more times than Sara could remember, but the most unforgivable part of it was when her mother decided that the only way out was to stab her father to death.

Sara couldn't forgive that.

The day her mother murdered him, Sara lost everything.

She loved her father more than anything. He was cruel to her mother, but he was still her Dad. He always threw a big surprise party for every one of her birthdays. He tried too hard to earn affection from his children, but she and her brother still worshipped the man. She was scared of him when he was around her mother. She and her brother spent most of their time in the corner of her closet when they argued, clutching each other tightly as the fighting started. She prayed every night for it to stop, but her mother continued to provoke the anger in the man, unable to leave, unable to fight back.

Something Sara still didn't understand to this day.

The day her mother ruined their lives, her younger brother was carted off in a separate car from her, screaming her name as if she could do something to make them stop. She tried everything she could, but she was dragged away into a separate car, kicking and screaming while her brother disappeared down their street. She was allowed supervised visits with him a few times a year, but then he started getting into trouble and she wasn't allowed to see him at all. She had no clue where he was now, what his life was like or if he was even alive.

She blamed her mother for everything that happened to them. She blamed her mother for every bad thing in her life, but most of all, she blamed her for the fact that she was too afraid to love this little life growing inside of her.

How could a mother be afraid to love her own baby?

Sara felt as though her child had no hope at all in this world with her as a mother. She couldn't love it. She didn't know how to look after it and she despised it already. But still, she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that this kid didn't suffer the same fate as her.

Maybe that was all the love she could afford to give this baby.

With a sigh, Sara started up the car again, driving off in the direction of her significant other's apartment. She doubted he would be home yet, since he loved the lab so much, but she didn't mind waiting for him to return.

After thirty minutes of waiting outside in her car though, she began to feel like a stalker. She shifted in her seat, adjusted the uncomfortable seatbelt over her shoulder and sighed as another car passed by that wasn't his.

He must have had something more important to do at work.

Giving up, Sara grabbed for the keys, ready to start up the car to leave. She glanced in the rear view mirror as a car turned into the street, sinking lower in her seat as it was finally his. She sunk low enough to avoid detection, watching the man pulling into his driveway.

The outside looked like a traditional Vegas styled town house, but it had two apartments inside. Rather than a single floored apartment building like her own, Grissom's had two floors and plenty of windows that let in all the light.

It was in a beautiful location and he had plenty of space all to himself, including a small garden, but she knew that moving in with him was completely out of the question.

Not that he had asked.

Sara placed her hands on the steering wheel, tilting her head back against her seat, watching the man climbing out of his car. He locked it up, making his way over to his mailbox first. He flipped through the stack of mail in his hands, scratching the stubble beginning to grow on his chin, before he made his way inside. She tried to spot him moving about through the apartment, but she couldn't see a thing through the blinds covering every window.

Instead of leaving, Sara grabbed for her bag off the seat beside her, making her way towards the front door. She gave it a hesitant knock, clutching her bag tightly at her side as she heard footsteps inside.

"Sara. Hello." A smile immediately spread across the man's lips. He opened the door wider, ushering her inside. "I was just about to take Hank for a walk." He dropped the leash from his hand, closing the door behind her. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine." Sara reached her hand out to greet the dog, smiling as he gave her a curious sniff, before he greeted her properly. She had never been that keen on dogs, but Hank was the most content animal she had ever been around. "How was your shift?" She called out to the older man, watching the man searching through his fridge for something to eat.

"Wrapped up our case a little sooner than I was expecting. I was hoping for something a little more complicated with a puzzle to solve. A little mystery or something a little less straight and narrow." The man scanned the empty shelves of his fridge for a moment, before he closed the door with a sigh. "I spoke to the DA about your suspect, Deputy Miles. He's been released pending further investigation."

"Released?" Sara looked at him surprised. "He's a murder suspect."

"He's also a highly decorated deputy in Clark County, who doesn't fancy doing jail time with the gang members who knew your victim. I think the Mayor had a little influence in that department. He's not allowed to work or carry a firearm while the case is being investigated. He's under protection in case the gang members try anything else. He's not allowed near the police station either, so you won't have to worry about him." Grissom ran his fingers through his hair, grabbing an apple off the counter. "Your case was the abducted child with Catherine, wasn't it?" He tried to remember what he had assigned her.

"Murdered." Sara dropped to the sofa, ruffling her hands through Hank's soft coat. "Parents staged the abduction after the mother accidentally smothered her four year old to death. I let Catherine handle the interrogation. The mother said she just wanted to make him stop crying."

"Oh." Grissom climbed the steps to his front room, perching himself on the sofa beside her. He placed his hand over hers on Hank's back, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. "Sara, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"People really are capable of anything. On the one hand, we have a deputy who swore to serve and protect, murdering an innocent young girl on her way to Harvard next year. And on the other hand, we have a mother who brought this amazing gift into the world, only to snuff it out because he wouldn't stop crying."

Sara brushed her other hand across Hank's head, allowing a smile to spread across her lips as the dog rested his chin on her knee.

"Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice with my career. I've never been good with death. I don't know how anyone can be okay with death really, but lately... I can't deal with any of our cases, without an emotional backlash."

"I have noticed." He gave her a slight smile, reaching his hand out to brush her cheek. "Sara, you can't keep things bottled up. It's not healthy."

"You're one to talk." She smiled back. "You bottle more than I do."

"I have outlets." Gazing into her eyes, the man smiled a little wider, feeling as though he was on cloud nine right now. "I have you to talk to. I ride roller coasters, read, study and I walk with Hank. Speaking of, we should really let him out to pee. Would you like to accompany us on our walk, my dear? It's very therapeutic."

"Okay." She nodded slightly, removing her hand from the dog's head. "I gotta pee first though, Hank."

"Be my guest. You know where it is."

Climbing to her feet, Sara gave the man a smile, before she cautiously made her way down the steps to the kitchen. She crossed the hall to the bathroom, putting her back to the locked door for a moment. She still couldn't get up the nerve to tell him. She felt so guilty for keeping something like this from him, but she didn't want to mess up his life with her mistake or ruin what they had.

When she returned, Grissom had the dog leashed up, waiting by the door for her. He greeted her with a smile, before he grabbed the door, leading the way. He was right that the walk would be therapeutic. Even though they didn't really talk much, Sara enjoyed the company during their peaceful walk in the parts of Las Vegas she never got to see during the day.

"It's beautiful here." Sara folded her arms across her chest, feeling a cold breeze as they reached the lake. She shielded the sun from her eyes, pausing on the spot as a young mother walked by them, steering a pushchair with a young baby inside. The little baby boy had a tiny baseball cap on his head, wearing the cutest little onesie that made her heart flutter a little. "You know, I miss the smell of fresh air." She quickly rejoined her partner. "I like working at the lab, but we don't really get to breathe in real fresh clean air like this very often."

"I told you the fresh air would do you good. You should come out with Hank more often." Reaching for Sara's hand beside him, Grissom gently weaved his fingers through hers, showing his first public display of affection to her. "And me, obviously."

"Bonus." Sara smiled at him, holding his hand a little tighter. "I might have to take you up on that offer. As long as Hank doesn't mind me coming along."

"Hank loves company and I've become rather fond of your company." The man held back a moment, letting the screaming child run past them, followed by his mother trying to catch up to him. "We usually leave a little earlier to avoid the school run. It's more peaceful out here in the early hours."

Deal breaker.

"You don't like kids?" Sara gave the man a curious look. She thought that he wouldn't mind them too much, especially after seeing how he was with children at work.

"I don't dislike children." The man shook his head, steering her off in the direction of another footpath. "Children are our future. They exist so we can go on. Children are easier to understand than adults. They don't complicate things like we do."

A simple yes or no would have sufficed, but his answer brought a smile to her lips.

Sara linked her arm through his, feeling as though they were the only two people in the world right now. There was no way she was about to ruin this moment with the truth.

The baby would have to wait until another day.

* * *

Nearing the end of another busy shift, Sara stopped off at the break room, looking for something to eat before she made the long journey home. She didn't fancy stopping anywhere on the way and she wanted to crawl straight into bed once she got home, so she poked through the fridge to see what was left. She picked up a curious looking jar from the top shelf, rolling her eyes as she realised it was one of Grissom's weird experiments. Warrick and Nick were always going on at him about leaving his experiments next to their lunch, but she adored the fact that he was always so curious to learn more.

Sara held her stomach as she felt it rumble, avoiding Catherine's odd looking salad bowl and Nick's sticky burrito with it's delicious meaty scent, not finding anything remotely edible. She turned her attention towards the cupboards, finding a stale bag of chips, coffee, hot chocolate and herbal tea.

Holding her empty stomach, the woman sighed softly, grabbing herself a seat at the table instead. She held her head in her hands, starting to crave that burrito she had spied, but it had meat in it. She had sworn off meat, ever since she saw Grissom's experiment on that pig. She had never been that fond of meat anyway, but she had never craved it before.

Eleven weeks pregnant and this baby was already taking over her life.

"Sara." She heard a voice at the door, spying the one man she really wanted to see right now. "You're still here?" Grissom pulled up the sleeve to his shirt, looking at the time on his watch. "Shouldn't you be off home now?"

"Yes..." Sara removed her hands from her head, placing her arms on the table. "I don't fancy another night of take out."

Grissom looked over his shoulder at the lab behind him, before he checked the time on his watch again. He pursed his lips together for a moment, building himself up to propose the offer of making her that dinner he promised her a few weeks ago.

"I..."

"Grissom, we have a big problem." Catherine appeared beside him, no idea what she just interrupted. "Hi, Sara. Gil, DNA from our one murder suspect doesn't match the DNA on the knife handle. We figured he was completely good for it, being covered in her blood and all, but the DNA on the knife handle belongs to an unknown female not a male. We're going to have to start from square one again."

Gritting his teeth together, Grissom glanced up at the woman sat at the table, receiving a smile from her as she figured he would choose work over her. He followed Catherine out of the break room, glancing back over his shoulder as Sara dropped her head into her hands once again.

He hated to disappoint her, but he knew she would understand.

He turned his attention back to Catherine, hearing a muffled sound as he followed her. It wasn't until he got closer that he realised her lips were moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying. He thought it was just lack of sleep when it started happening a few days ago, but it was starting to happen more frequently now.

Otosclerosis, the hereditary condition that robbed his mother of her hearing whilst she was pregnant with him. He had lived with the shadow of this condition in his life for so long, but he thought after so many years of having no symptoms at all, he was free and clear of the illness.

After a sudden buzz in his ear, he began to hear her talking about their last suspect just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Catherine..." He stopped mid step, trying to get her muffled voice to stop for just a moment. "Earlier at the crime scene, you stated that it looked like a crime of passion. You pegged our murder suspect because the husband of our victim saw them talking?"

"No, the husband had some private eye following his wife around for a few days. He suspected that she was having an affair and he wanted to use it against her in the divorce settlement. The PI got some photos of our victim, Paula and our primary murder suspect, Geoff together..."

"Slower." Grissom tried to focus on her lips. "The husband set you onto this guy, but the photos showed no signs of intimacy between them?"

Catherine shook her head. "What are you thinking, Gil?"

"At the house, we talked to the neighbours." He recalled. "One of the neighbours that Jim and I spoke to said that it was the husband who she suspected was sleeping around. She saw a red convertible at the house, one night when Paula was away."

"You think he lied?" She curiously watched him turning his head to the side, trying to process what she had just said. "Are you okay, Gil?"

"Unknown female DNA," Grissom got back to the evidence she had given him. "How much do you want to bet that the husband's mistress was the one who stabbed her to death? Find out if either of them know anyone or work with anyone who owns a red convertible."

"Gil," Catherine took his arm, looking around the lab as she led him into an empty office. "How long have we known each other?"

"In days, months or years?"

"Very funny." She smiled at him, brushing her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. "I think we've known each other long enough for me to notice that there's something not quite right with you... especially for the past few weeks. Can you hear me?" Catherine noticed he was staring at her lips the whole time she was speaking. "You can't, can you?"

"We have work to do, Catherine."

"It's the thing... the thing your mother has." She caught his arm again, stopping him from leaving without an explanation. "I remember you telling me how it started with your mother. Do you really want to leave it until it gets to that stage for you?" She knew how important it was to him to have control, but she couldn't let him just go on ignoring it because he didn't know how to deal with it.

Grissom pursed his lips together for a moment, shaking his head slightly. He turned on his heels, heading towards the elevators to try and focus on work. He heard muffled sounds as he made his way towards them, waiting until he was inside before he plugged his fingers in his ears a moment. He didn't like this feeling, but he was a little preoccupied with his case to do anything about it now.

"There you are, Gil." Captain Brass greeted him on the station floor, escorting him towards the interrogation room. "I held the suspect like you asked. I thought the DNA cleared him?" He held the door open for the man, before he followed him inside, without a word from the other man.

"Am I free to go yet?" The suspect, Geoff glanced up from the table at the two men, but neither one of them said anything. "I'm telling you, I didn't kill, Paula. I found her and I freaked out, so I ran out of there before the cops showed up. But I didn't kill her."

"The blood pattern on your shirt doesn't indicate spatter." Grissom examined the pictures in the file Catherine had handed him. "What was your relationship with Paula?"

"I work with her husband." The man folded his arms across his chest, leaning back in his seat. "Or I used to. The bastard fired me after he stole my idea for a project. A lawyer wouldn't help me, so I..."

Grissom took a seat in front of him, watching his lips carefully. "What did you do?"

"I followed him." Geoff shrugged his shoulders together. "I was gonna wait for the right moment to... but then I saw him with that woman. I've seen him and his wife at the Christmas parties, charity balls and stuff, but the woman he was with wasn't his wife. She was young, pretty and blonde. Paula was a brunette."

"So you blackmailed him?" Brass presumed, figuring a low life like him would do something like that.

"I was about to... but then I heard about the divorce. I figured that his wife would pay a little more for information like that. I was going to give her the photos and she was going to pay me. She didn't want to see her kids get stuck with him, so I thought I could help out a little... you know. But when I got there to sell her what I had on him, she was already dead. I found her on the floor, I wanted to help her... but she was gone."

"Then you were too." Jim rolled his eyes. "What are you a doctor? You didn't think to call the police, genius?"

"Brass." Grissom tried to get him to stop his lethal interrogation, so he could get some answers out of him. "The photos that you took of the husband and his mistress together, do you still have them?"

Geoff tapped his fingers against the table, giving the man a slight smile. "Might do. What will you give me for them?"

"How about a reduced sentence?" Captain Brass suggested. "We're the police. Don't try and blackmail us, pal."

"At my apartment." Geoff gave in. "They're on a flash drive next to my laptop. I've still got the originals on my camera too. My camera should be still on my desk. Can I go now?"

"No, you're still under arrest for fleeing a murder scene." Brass grabbed the door, holding it open for Grissom to follow him out. "Mind telling me what we're expecting to find?"

"Our killer was female." Grissom simply stated, handing the file from his hands over to Brass. "Tell Catherine where to find the photos. I have to go." He held his right ear as he made his way towards the elevator, hoping it would eventually disappear, just like it did last week when he was trying to focus on his case.

At the moment, it sounded like he was under water. He could hear muffled sounds now and then, but his hearing returned to normal as though nothing was happening a few minutes later.

When the elevator doors slid open to the coroners floor, Grissom stepped back, startled by the sight of Nick stood in the doorway. "Gris," He looked relieved to see him. "You've gotta take Greg off my case."

"I thought you liked, Greg?" He gave the man a confused look, stepping around him, before the elevator doors closed. "You have to learn to work with all of your team, Nicky, not just Warrick."

"Under normal circumstances, yeah, I like the guy. But these aren't normal circumstances." Nick followed him towards the double doors to autopsy. He put his arm on the door, stopping his boss from going any further. "Greg's only interested in findin' out more facts for his mob boss obsession. He doesn't even care that someone was murdered because of one of these low life's. He worships them. I can't work with him."

Grissom held his ear for a moment, waiting for sound to return, before he glanced up at the younger man in front of him. "Warrick's out. Catherine's got her own case to deal with and Sara's off shift. Greg is your only option. I can't keep fighting your battles for you, Nick. Didn't your father ever teach you to stand on your own two feet?"

"But..." Nick stepped aside, letting his boss through to autopsy. "You don't understand how annoyin' Greg is when he's obsessed. What if I told you that his obsession could jeopardise the case?"

"Your victim, do you have a cause of death yet?" Grissom changed the subject.

"Multiple stab wounds and a gunshot to the back of the head." Nick mimicked a gun with his fingers to the back of his head. "Classic with a hit or so I've been told from Greg at least three or four times now."

"Tangible evidence for a murder suspect?" He asked, rubbing his forehead, starting to feel a migraine coming on.

Nick shook his head, folding his arms across his chest. "All we've got so far is a void in the blood spatter from the crime scene. Don't know what caused it. No witnesses and as far as we can tell, he doesn't have any enemies."

"So, broaden your search a little, Nicky. Look into his background. Wife, girlfriend, lover, disgruntled employee... even better, have Greg do it for you, so you two don't have to be in the same room as each other anymore. You're a CSI level three now, Nicky. I shouldn't still be holding your hand in cases like this. I'm not your father." Grissom turned away from him, heading towards, Doc Robbins' office.

He found the man sat behind his desk, glasses pressed against his nose, reading through a report he had in his hands.

"Albert." Grissom tapped his knuckles against the door, giving the man a slight smile as he glanced up at him. "Have you got a minute? I need... I need to talk. It's... eh... personal matter."

"Come in." Doc Robbins removed the glasses from his face, giving the man a curious look as he saw how uncomfortable he looked. "What's up, Gil?"

"I'd like a second opinion." He clasped his hands together in front of him. He trusted the opinion of his long time friend a lot more than a doctor he saw for the first time at the hospital last week. The truth was, he didn't even want to admit it to himself, let alone a trusted friend and colleague, but he had to do something. "I think... I know... I'm losing my hearing. I'd like your... professional opinion."

"Oh." The other man climbed to his feet, grabbing his walking stick to support himself. He made his way through to the other room, pulling out a chair for Grissom to sit on, so he could examine him for himself. "How long?" He asked, grabbing what he needed.

"A few weeks." Grissom shrugged his shoulders together. "Maybe a month. I saw a doctor a few weeks ago when the symptoms got quite severe on a case." He tilted his head to the side, letting the man examine the worst of his ears first.

"Alright." The man stepped closer, examining his ear for himself. He bit his bottom lip as he saw the classic signs of the degenerative disease. He breathed in a deep breath, fearful of how he would take the news. "Well... I have to say, it doesn't look good, Gil. From what I can see, your conditions pretty far along. Why'd you wait so long?"

Grissom shrugged his shoulders, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I guess that I was just hoping that it wasn't real. I was hoping it would go away on its own, so I wouldn't have to deal with it."

"But you knew that your mother has the condition?" Albert perched himself on the opposite chair.

"Yes, it's a hereditary condition. My mother's condition started after she became pregnant with me. Her father had it before her, so I always knew that there was at least a fifty percent chance that I would get otosclerosis too. I was just hoping that I would be the one who didn't get it. I know." He saw the look in the man's eyes. "I wasn't rational."

"Look Gil, I'm not going to preach to you. You came to me for help... but... doctor to doctor... there's a chance the bone deposits have spread into the inner ear, in which case, your hearing loss will eventually become permanent. If I were you, I'd schedule surgery... as soon as possible. You don't want this to get any worse. Your chances of a full recovery are still pretty slim at this stage. Some never regain the hearing loss after this disease takes on."

"I know." Grissom nodded his head slightly. "It's been getting worse this past week or so."

"I know of a great surgeon at Desert Palms, I can give him a call to get you an appointment."

"Don't arrange anything yet." The man climbed to his feet, feeling a little dizzy as he straightened up so quickly. "I'll take the earliest appointment..." He assured him, seeing the look in his eyes. "But there's something I have to do first."

* * *

Kicking her door shut with her foot, Sara carried her groceries through to the kitchen, setting them down on the counter. She tossed her keys on the side table, removing her jacket and shoes, before she started going through the bags. She had a craving for pickles while she was browsing the store, so she grabbed for the pickle jar first. She quickly peeled off the seal, lifting the first one out with her fingers. She had a craving for meat too, she spent half her shop browsing the various packets of red meat, feeling hungrier and hungrier, but she managed to avoid even touching them.

If this was what it was like to have pregnancy cravings, she really wasn't enjoying them so far.

Three or four pickles later, Sara started to unpack the rest of her groceries, sorting them into the appropriate cupboards. She quickly grabbed another pickle from the jar, noticing her fingers were becoming wrinkly from holding them for so long, but it didn't stop her from grabbing another after that one was gone.

With a mouthful of the delicious salty pickle, Sara made her way over to the sofa, about to sit down, when she heard a knock at her door. "Just a minute." She scoffed the last few bites, wiping her mouth on her sleeve, before she opened the door. "Well, hello Gilbert." She smiled at the sight of the nice surprise at the door.

"Hi." He allowed his lips to spread into a smile. "What I was going to ask you earlier..." He raised the bag from his side. "Before work interrupted us... would you like to have dinner with me?"

"Sure." She noticed he seemed a little down from the last time she saw him. She held the door open for him, closing it behind him as he made his way into her kitchen. Instead of pulling out food containers from a take away restaurant though, he revealed a variety of ingredients in all shapes and sizes. "Mmm... what exactly are we having?" She curiously looked over the items.

"Spicy burritos... without the meat." He grabbed the sweet potato from the bottom of his bag. "I'm going to use black beans, green rice and sweet potato. I've never made them like this before, but there's a first time for everything."

"Burritos?" She thought that was an eerie coincidence, wondering if he had seen her sniffing the one in the lab fridge. "Can I help?"

"You can relax." Grissom lifted the last item from the bag, another bottle of wine that she couldn't drink. "I'll find my own way around your kitchen."

"I..." Sara stared at the bottle, wanting to tell him the reason why she couldn't drink it, but he seemed too distracted to take her seriously at the moment. "Did something happen today?" She took a seat at the counter, watching him getting set up. "Hey, Gil." She reached out for his hands, finally getting his attention. "Are you alright? Is it the case that you and Catherine were working?"

"No, the case went fine. Well, fine for everyone except, Paula. The husband's mistress decided to off the wife to help him out with the divorce settlement. We got a full confession from her. She was blinded by her love for him... so obsessed with him that she didn't even realise what she had done." Grissom shook his head slightly, looking at her hands covering his own. He lifted her hands, weaving his fingers through hers. "Sara..." He breathed softly, wanting to tell her so badly. He lifted his head to look into her eyes, feeling a shiver travelling down his spine.

It wasn't that he didn't trust her.

He just didn't feel ready to load something like this on her so soon. He feared that she would reject him or leave him. He saw how his own mother and father struggled with the condition. He didn't want to burden someone as fragile as Sara with something like this so soon.

"What?" She smiled at the man.

"I think you're lovely." Grissom grinned back at her, leaning across the counter to steal a kiss from her lips. He felt her breath on his cheek and her hair against his face. She didn't wear perfume, but she had such a beautiful natural scent to her. "I'll get you a glass for the wine."

"Actually," She caught his hand, wondering if she should tell him or not. "I'm... cutting back on alcohol. Fresh start and all that." She voted not, feeling like a terrible, awful liar.

"Oh... okay, water then." He didn't think anything of it, getting her a glass of water. He got started on preparing dinner, easily finding his way around her immaculate kitchen. She didn't have half the things he needed because she wasn't a cook herself, but he made do with what she did have easily enough.

Sara made herself busy by giving her apartment a quick tidy. She found her ultrasound scan on her bedside table, quickly hiding it away in her underwear drawer, where she knew that he would never look. She stashed the 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' book under the bed, making sure there wasn't anything else incriminating, before she returned to the kitchen.

"It smells amazing in here. Where did you learn how to cook?"

"Years of being a single bachelor." He smiled up at her. "My mother taught me the basics growing up. I've always enjoyed cooking though. It's like science. Mixing of ingredients to make something new and wonderful. I find it soothing."

"I used to bake." Sara confessed, taking a seat at the counter. "Cookies, cupcakes... I found that soothing, but I lost the patience for it after a while. I never really had the patience to learn how to cook."

"I can teach you." Grissom leant against the counter in front of her. "It'll be fun."

"Isn't now about the time that you give me an excuse and rush off to work or something?"

Grissom pulled his cell from his pocket, turning it off in front of her, before he set it down on the counter. "I'm not on call and I'm not on shift tomorrow, neither are you. Perks of being your supervisor." He grinned at her, turning back to his cooking. "Sit down and relax, my dear. Everything is being taken care of."

"Okay, if you insist."

Grabbing her glass of water, Sara made her way over to her sofa, crashing against the cushions. She ditched her glass on the coffee table, browsing through the books and magazines she had beside her, before she found something to read. She watched him over the top of her magazine, planning her speech in her head. She still had a few weeks left according to Catherine's time frame, but she felt so guilty that he still didn't know.

She could just come right out and say 'Guess what, I'm pregnant.' But she feared that he wouldn't believe her. Asking if he had ever thought about having a child of his own was another idea, but then she'd have to deal with him thinking that she did this on purpose.

The last thing she would ever want to do is become pregnant on purpose, but he didn't know that about her.

Less than an hour later, Grissom served up their vegetarian burritos, taking his seat opposite her. He waited for her to take the first bite, watching her curiously for a moment.

"Mmm..." She covered her mouth as she chewed. "That is delicious."

"It's not too spicy for you?"

"No, no... it's good... really good. That might be the best thing I've ever tasted." Sara admitted, smiling widely as he took his first bite. "Can I ask you something?" She asked him, after waiting for him to finish his first bite.

"Ask away."

"I don't want to come off as paranoid or overly suspicious. I don't want that kind of relationship with you, but I already have trust issues in relationships. My taste in men has done that to me." Sara poked at her meal with her fork, giving the man a slight smile. "I need to know some things, unless they're too private for you to disclose."

"Was that your question?" He watched her lips, looking a little confused.

"No... my question is..." She really didn't want to say it out loud. It would be so much worse if it were true, but she needed to know. "Did you... have you... ever... been with Lady Heather?" She glanced up after a moment, trying to judge his expression.

"No." The man simply answered, seeing a slight smile spreading across her lips. "Would it bother you... if I had?"

"It wouldn't really bother me... more like intimidate me. The woman's a dominatrix. She's beautiful, smart and has a certain appeal to her I guess. If you go for that sort of thing. She's also this strong, confident woman who can give you everything you would ever want in a woman. That's tough to compete with." Sara placed her hand on her stomach beneath the counter, realising Lady Heather had another advantage that she didn't. "It's completely okay for you to like her."

"I like her." Grissom admitted, reaching for her hand across the counter. "Nothing more. I don't have feelings for her like I do you. I've known you for so much longer. You're more important to me than a simple friendship, Sara. You don't have to compete with her. She's been going through something with her daughter recently. She just needed a friend to lean on. Nothing more."

"Thank you." She spoke softly, looking down at the meal in front of her. It looked so lovely, but she had suddenly lost her appetite. "On the subject of friendship, our friendship in particular, I need to tell you something that... could affect us and our working relationship."

"Whatever it is, I want you to feel as though you can tell me anything, Sara."

"Even that I'm pregnant?" Clutching her fork ever so tightly, turning her knuckles deathly white, Sara watched as the man stopped chewing his last mouthful of food, staring up at her in shock. She wanted to burst into a grin and tell him it was a joke so he didn't look so blown away by it all, but she couldn't dismiss the truth just for the sake of his feelings.

She really was pregnant.

It wasn't the best way to tell him. She realised that now, but at least now he knew.

* * *

 **My cats woke me up at 3am this morning for their breakfast, sunrise seems to equal breakfast time with them lately, but at least it gave me some time to reread another chapter. Any mistakes are my cats fault :P**

 **Secrets finally out. Thank you for reading! More on the way soon.** **Thanks so much for all of your reviews so far. They are very much appreciated. I look forward to reading what you thought of this next chapter.**

 **Enjoy your weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	7. Magnificent

**Chapter Seven - Magnificent**

"Morning Sara, feeling better?" Doctor Albert Robbins gave her a smile as she entered the morgue. The last time she joined him for an autopsy, she couldn't get anywhere near the body without feeling the urge to throw up. As an experienced doctor, he recognised the symptoms right away, but he didn't think it was any of his business to get involved. "I managed to get an ID on your hit and run victim." He led her over to the table. "AFIS found a match to a Simon Grey. Nineteen years old, born right here in Las Vegas... oh, and he's deaf."

Sara gave him a curious look.

"You can tell he's deaf by his fingerprints?" She looked over the report, realising that the victim had been printed as part of a state aid program. "Oh... so our hit and run last night could have been accidental. Deaf kid walking home alone... he was under the influence?" She looked at the evidence surprised.

"Just over." The man nodded, grabbing a jar full of a sickly discoloured liquid. "I checked his stomach contents too, he had something spicy to eat just before."

"There's still the case of the driver who did the running." Warrick overheard, joining them around the autopsy table. "Greg's analysing the broken car headlight pieces upstairs. We should be able to get a make and model of the car. You got an ID?"

"Yeah." Sara handed her partner on the case the report from her hands. "Simon Grey. Nineteen."

"Grew up in foster care. He's currently attending a college for the deaf quite near to where he was found." Doctor Robbins reported, leaning against the side of the table. He grabbed the evidence bag, handing it over to Sara. "He was wearing this wrist band when they brought him in."

"Looks like a club pass. I've never heard of it though." Sara held it up to the light for a moment, before she handed it over to Warrick to examine. "Maybe Greg will have better luck. He knows the club scene."

"He likes to think he knows the club scene. Boy hasn't been out since he joined us in the field. I'll get him to take a look at it." Warrick tilted his head to the side, examining the bruising to their victim's skull. "Do you think the car killed him?"

"Without a doubt." Reaching for the sheet covering their victim, Doctor Robbins swept it back, showing them the damage to his body. "Driver had to be doing at least seventy. Spinal cord is completely severed. Fractured skull. Heart was crushed by his broken ribs. It practically imploded inside his chest. I found bits of glass in his legs, arms and chest. He must have rolled onto the hood." He grabbed the container that he had placed them in, handing it over to Sara. "Most of the damage is to his chest and organs. In most hit and runs, there's more damage to the legs."

Sara cringed at the sight of the body's condition, relieved that she didn't feel nauseous for the first time in days. "And still the driver drove off. Must have hit a few speed cameras on his way out. I'll get Archie to look into it."

"Based on the width of the tire treads from our scene, we're dealing with a truck or an SUV. And our vic isn't exactly overly tall." Warrick handed the autopsy report back to the man, giving him a smile. "Thanks doc. Does he have any family?"

"He's been in the care of his foster parents for a long time. Doesn't say what happened to the biological ones. He has a younger sister. Biological." He remembered, looking through the file again. "Twelve, she's with foster parents that raised him too. I've got an address." He handed the address over to Sara.

The woman gulped softly, hating this part of the job. It was easy to forget that these victims had family out there in the world, when they were just dealing with a dead body.

"Hey, you alright?" Warrick led the way out of autopsy. He grabbed the next set of doors for his colleague, giving her a curious look. "You seem a little out of it."

"I'm okay." Sara forced a smile in his direction, checking her phone for the hundredth time today. She thought that her significant other would have at least called to talk about what they had discussed last night, but he had gone into a complete avoidance of her. He hadn't even come into work today, which was the biggest shock of all.

"Did you hear that Deputy Miles is out?" Warrick queried.

"Yeah, whatever happened to justice? He murdered a sixteen year old girl."

"It might have been an accident." Warrick continued to defend the officer, even though he didn't agree with what he had done. "That's what the investigation is for. They should be able to determine whether the shooting was accidental, excusable or if he really is guilty."

"The man's a racist. He practically admitted it to us." Sara reminded the man, pushing the button for the elevator. "He showed no sympathy towards the victim or the victim's family. He's guilty and if they excuse him of this crime, we'll be looking at another gang shooting. Street justice."

"You think that's right?" Warrick gave the woman a curious look.

"Not right, but if the justice system fails to give the victim's family what they want, they're bound to take justice into their own hands and I wouldn't exactly blame them for it either." Sara realised she sounded a little hypocritical, especially where her mother was concerned. She had blamed the woman her whole life for everything that happened to them.

The truth was that the justice system failed her mother, time and time again, so her mother took things into her own hands and stabbed her father to death. She still couldn't forgive her now, even after everything that she had seen during her time as a crime scene investigator, working cases just like her mother's.

"You're taking a lot of cases personally lately, Sara." Warrick made an observation. "You never used to care so much. Are you feeling okay?"

"I do care. I've always cared. What... do you think I'm some heartless drone like Ecklie?" The woman sighed, pushing the button to the elevator again. "Where the hell is it? We've been waiting ages."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant... you never took them so personally before. I know you care, but you never used to care so much. Nick's usually the one that goes off the deep end with kids or rape victims, but lately it's been you more than him."

"Can we just... not talk about it, please." Sara folded her arms across her chest, staring up at the elevator numbers in front of them. She hadn't realised that her hormones had been affecting her at work until now. She thought she would get lucky and completely avoid the hormonal phase of her pregnancy, but she started crying over silly things like a TV movie dog saving a child or flipping out over the fact that her local grocery store was all out of pickles.

"So, which one should we check out first? Go talk to the foster parents or ask around at the school?" He tried to change the subject, sensing he had hit a nerve.

Sara didn't feel comfortable with either option, but she knew she had to pick one. She grabbed for the address, regretting her choice already. "The parents. They should be told first." She placed her hand on her stomach, wishing she never had to feel a loss like this. She felt guilty for complaining that she was pregnant, while these parents had lost a child that they had raised all his life.

"Finally." Warrick stepped inside the elevator first, holding the door open for his partner. "Sara." He jolted her out of her thoughts, giving her a smile as she stepped onto the elevator with him. "You look like you could really use a drink."

"I wish." She sighed softly. "Just another thing this little parasite is stopping me from."

"What?" He gave her a confused look.

"Oh... never mind." Sara quickly shook her head, hoping she didn't just out herself to yet another colleague, before she had even spoken to the father about it properly. At least now he knew, but it wasn't exactly a comfort to her.

"We'll take my car, I'll meet you there. I've just gotta stock my kit." He motioned towards the locker room.

"Okay." Sara pulled her phone out again, hoping that she had a message from him, but still nothing.

"Morning, Sara." Catherine breezed past her, pulling her keys out of her pocket to unlock her office. She glanced back at her colleague staring at her phone, sensing something wasn't right from the look in her eyes. "Hey, are you alright? Did something happen?"

"No... nothing." She slotted her phone back into her pocket. "You can go ahead and submit those forms upstairs."

"You told him?" Without waiting for an answer, Catherine led the other woman inside her office, closing the door behind them for some privacy. "So it's all out in the open now. How did he take it?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders together, feeling chills running down her arms.

"C'mon Sara, it's obvious that you and Gil have a thing." She finally let on that she knew. "This is Grissom we're talking about. How did he take the news?"

"He told you?"

"No, you did... not in so many words, but it's obvious." Catherine gave her a smile. "I'm not here to judge. I'm your friend, Sara. I'm happy for you. You know I am. Working the jobs that we work and these long stressful hours, we deserve a little happiness now and then. I thought him and Lady Heather had a thing at first, but you're a much better match for him. Thankfully. A man like that would get lost with a woman like that. Sofia's been trying to get her foot in the door, but I noticed he's been rather distracted lately. Too distracted to take any notice of Ecklie's little spy. He's even stopped flirting with my mother on her random visits to the lab."

"I wish I could take the credit." Sara clasped her hands together, feeling her palms starting to sweat. She didn't want anyone to know about them, not out of shame, but it felt awkward now it was out in the open with yet another colleague. "He's been avoiding me."

"How did he take the pregnancy news?"

"Um... he choked on his food, turned his phone back on and made an excuse about needing to get back to the lab. Now he's avoiding my calls and he's not in the lab. How do you think he took it?" Sara couldn't help but smile, rolling her eyes at herself. "I didn't exactly expect it to go well, but I didn't plan for any of this. I mean, why isn't he here? This is Grissom we're talking about. He doesn't take personal days."

"I'm sure there's a good reason." Catherine anxiously bit her bottom lip, knowing the exact reason why their supervisor wasn't in the lab today, but if he had chosen not to tell Sara about it, she didn't feel as though it was her place to tell.

"Yeah, he doesn't want kids." She sarcastically remarked. "It's pretty obvious. I don't even want it, so maybe I should do us both a favour and just..."

"No." Catherine quickly objected. "You can't. It's a human life, Sara. A baby. Your baby. And you'll regret it. A lot. You can't go through something like this."

"Would you rather that I brought a baby into this world that no one is ready to love?"

"Love doesn't come instantly, Sara. You think you're the first soon to be mother in the world who's afraid that she won't be able to love her own baby? Killing your baby before it's even taken its first breath isn't the answer to that." The woman practically shouted at her, furious that she was even entertaining the idea of getting rid of it. "If Grissom doesn't want it, that's his choice. You can still have the baby. There are plenty of single mother's out there doing just fine on their own. And I'm one of them. You can't kill your baby because of one man's choice, Sara."

"I can't do it on my own. I'm not you, Catherine. I don't have a maternal bone in my body."

"And you think I was?" She rolled her eyes at her colleague. "Before Lindsey came along, I wasn't exactly a maternal person either. I was an exotic dancer. I didn't like children. I liked men. Dancing... free time. I saw kids as an annoyance, but that first time I held my daughter in my arms, I loved her completely. More than I thought possible. It's a big adjustment, believe me, I know. Your life will literally never be the same again, but you can't just get rid of it because you're afraid. It's a baby, Sara. It has a right to live. It has a right to meet its mother, because she's an amazing woman."

Sara shook her head. "I'm rubbish with kids."

"That's the best part. They start out small and adorable, so you love them instantly. The rest comes later."

Noticing a photo of Lindsey on the woman's desk, Sara turned for the doorway, ready to escape from the situation. "I have to go. Warrick's waiting."

"At least wait until you talk to him." Catherine called after her, dropping into her chair with a sigh. She grabbed for her cell, hitting the speed dial for her supervisor. She rhythmically tapped her long nails against her desk while she waited, watching Sara disappearing down the hall. "Hey Gil, it's Catherine."

"Catherine..." The man pushed the covers off his chest, leaving his book beside him as he sat himself up against the headboard. "Is everything alright? You've only been in charge of the lab for..." He consulted his clock beside him for the time. "An hour."

"Oh yeah, the labs fine. It practically runs itself." She didn't let on that she had arrived late, due to Lindsey trying to pull a sick day to get out of going to school. "Listen Gil, I swore to Sara that I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't let this go on like this. How can you just ignore her after she told you that she's carrying your child?"

"What?" He straightened up, moving the phone to his good ear. He wasn't sure he heard her right and he didn't feel comfortable with someone from the lab knowing something about private life either. He was surprised that Sara would want any of them to know, especially after the speech she gave him about wanting to keep things between them private.

"You heard me. How can you ignore the mother of your unborn child?

"How long have you known, Catherine?"

"Not that long, but that's not the point here, Gil. She's talking about getting rid of it, because you want nothing to do with her. What are you playing at?"

"I don't have time to deal with this now." He continued to avoid the situation. "I'm due at the hospital this afternoon."

"Oh... so you're going through with it then?"

"Yes." The man held his head, feeling a migraine coming on. "Don't tell her." He warned the woman, wishing he could have done it himself the night before, but Sara didn't exactly give him a choice with her own news. "Please Catherine, I don't want her to know."

"I won't tell her, it's not my place to tell her." Catherine promised him, sighing softly as she leant back in her seat. "But this is your child, Gil. The one thing you told me once that you thought you would never have. You can't ignore this. If you ignore it, you lose it. Just like your hearing." She heard him breathing softly, wishing she could be there for him, but he insisted on going through it alone.

Since the moment she met the man, she knew that he was something special. She never wanted any real kind of relationship with him. She felt as though Grissom was the brother she had never had. They often joked that they were like husband and wife, but over the years, they had become more like brother and sister, supporting each other through the hard times.

"Don't let this one go, Gil. You might never get another chance."

"Thank you, Catherine." He glanced towards his bedroom door as Hank pushed his way inside with his paw. "Don't forget your meeting with Ecklie. I've gotta go."

Grissom pushed himself out of bed, figuring Hank could do with a quick walk, before he was locked inside during his operation. He still didn't know how to deal with the news Sara had given him, so he chose to ignore it, trying to deal with one problem at a time to keep his head straight.

* * *

"This is the street."

Doubling checking the address she had in her hands, Sara confirmed that they were in the right place. She glanced up as her colleague pulled up outside the right house, sending a chill down her spine. It didn't look like any of the foster homes she had stayed in growing up. It looked normal and homely from the outside. The house had colour and warmth to it, rather than a place where people dumped unwanted children like they were trash.

Sara immediately placed her hand on her stomach, hoping her child would never feel that kind of rejection, even from her.

"Ready?" Warrick gave her a smile, climbing out the car first. "I'll do the talking if you're not feeling up to it. I don't mind taking the lead on this one."

"Be my guest."

Letting her partner go in front, Sara hung back, examining the family photos in the hallway. It reminded her of so many foster homes she had been in herself, but there was something more loving between this family than any other she had been forced into as a child. For starters, the fact that the children were loved. She could see it in every one of the photos that decorated the wall. She never felt that kind of affection from any of her foster parents growing up. She didn't even feel it from her real parents and they were supposed to be biologically programmed to love her unconditionally.

"My name is Warrick Brown and this my colleague, Sara Sidle." Her partner started the introductions. "We're from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. You might want to sit down for this."

"You said this is about, Simon?" The mother refused to do anything, until he told them why they were here.

"There's no easy way to tell you this, but your foster son, Simon was killed last night."

Sara bit her bottom lip, watching the familiar sign of shock and disbelief spreading across their faces, before they held each other for support. She took a step away to hide the tears threatening to spill from her own eyes, wishing she could have had that kind of support from Grissom, but he still couldn't answer a simple text.

Ditching her phone back in her pocket, Sara wiped away the tears from her eyes, turning for the stairs. She stopped in her tracks as she spotted the child sat on the stairs, clutching the banister above her head.

"Hi." Sara spoke softly, giving the girl an awkward smile.

"Are they talking about my brother in there?"

"They are." Glancing back at her colleague, Sara gulped softly, before she joined the child on the stairs. She reminded her so much of herself at that age, it was eerie. "Something bad happened to him. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab." She showed her ID to the child, taking a seat on the step in front of her. "It's our job to find out what happened to him."

"I'm not a baby." The child scowled at her. "I know he's dead."

Sara nodded slightly, remembering a social worker doing the same thing for her. She was sat in class at school, thinking it was just an ordinary day, until the police arrived with a social worker. They pulled her out of class, taking her to the principal's office to tell her that something horrible had happened. Her father was dead, her mother had been taken away and she was forced into care, unable to see either of them. She wouldn't wish any of that to happen to another child.

"I'm really sorry for your loss." Sara knew it wouldn't help her, but it was the only thing she could think of and the only thing she was trained to say in a situation like this. "That's pretty." She saw the pendant draped around the child's neck.

"It was my Mom's." She lifted it from her chest, clutching it tightly in her hand. "I don't really remember her that well. She died when I was a baby."

"You have something to remember her by though." Sara wished she had something of her father's to remember him by, but she didn't even have a photo. It was hard to picture what he looked like anymore. She couldn't remember the sound of his voice, even the stench of alcohol when he came to kiss her goodnight had faded from her memories. "Do you have anything of your brother's?"

The child shook her head, clutching the banister a little tighter. "He took all his stuff when he moved out to school. He stayed with us weekends sometimes, but he only ever had his bag."

"Was he here this weekend?" She queried, watching the little girl biting her bottom lip. "Did you know any of your brother's friends?"

"He didn't have friends. Everybody made fun of him because he couldn't hear."

"So he wouldn't go out anywhere with anyone?" Sara continued to fish for information, but the little girl didn't know.

"Sara." Warrick caught her attention, motioning towards the door behind him. "We'll call you as soon as we find out anything." He assured the parents, handing them one of his cards. He watched Sara gently patting the child on the leg, before she climbed to her feet, joining him outside. "It's not like you to make friends with a kid, Sara."

"I was just talking to her. She's upset about her brother. I can relate." Sara returned to the car in the driveway, pulling her belt on over her shoulder. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, just to make sure she hadn't missed a call from her significant other, but he was still ignoring her. "Simon came home every weekend to be with his family. The little girl said he didn't exactly have any friends."

"So he went to a club by himself?" Warrick checked his phone, reading a message from Greg. "Sanders found the club our boy was at last night. He's on his way there now with Sofia."

"So, the school next?" She sighed softly, replacing her phone to her pocket.

"Yeah, the interpreter is gonna meet us there. I've never known anyone that was deaf before." He confessed, starting up the car. "I guess if they've never been able to hear, there's nothing really to miss. I'd hate it to suddenly happen overnight though."

Sara nodded in agreement with him. "You know, Grissom's mother lost her hearing while she was pregnant with him. Some heredity condition that her father had before her. I can't imagine what it was like for her to lose her hearing, before she even became a mother."

"Grissom told you that?" He didn't even know that and he had been a part of this team a lot longer than Sara. "I knew his mother was deaf, but I didn't realise that she wasn't always deaf."

"I overheard him talking to Sofia about it."

Warrick started up the car, sensing some tension between the two women from the way Sara always said the other woman's name. He knew she wasn't happy about the other woman always taking the lead on high priority cases, but he thought they would at least get along socially.

* * *

"Dr Gilbert... thank you for seeing us." Sara mouthed her words rather loudly to the head of the school, glancing round at the interpreter stood behind her. "I'm Sara Sidle from the Las Vegas Crime Lab, this is my partner, Warrick Brown. We need your help with a murder investigation. A student of yours, Simon Grey was killed in a hit and run last night. We need to know who he was with or why he was there. He was found with a club bracelet around his wrist."

The deaf college professor folded her arms across her chest, angrily looking at the back of the woman's head as she spoke to the interpreter at the back of the room, rather than her. She was sick of dealing with these ignorant people. When she was informed that the police had arrived to talk about one of her missing students, she was more than happy to drop her schedule to talk to them, but now she was just waiting for the right moment to throw them out.

"Do you know if he was having any difficulties with other students? Maybe someone had a grudge against him or something?" Warrick did the same, looking at the interpreter behind them, rather than speaking directly to the professor.

Professor Jane Gilbert hadn't been treated like this since she was just a child, she was fuming.

"We understand that you don't want a murder investigation upsetting your other students here," Sara continued to look at the interpreter. "But we have a job to do. Simon Grey was murdered last night and we would like to know why. His family would like to know why."

"I would like you both to leave." The woman surprised them both, actually speaking to them rather than using her hands like they had seen on the way in. "I may be deaf, but I can communicate just fine. I'd appreciate it if you would look at me when you speak to me. I wear a hearing aid and I can read lips. You could have asked me if I needed an interpreter."

"We're very sorry, Doctor Gilbert." Sara spoke softly, looking into the woman's eyes this time. "We didn't mean to offend you. We're just following protocol. We need to speak with Simon's friends, roommates and maybe his teachers. If you cooperate with us, this will go a lot smoother."

"There are over one hundred and fifty students here at my school. We live together, study together, eat together. We're a family and Simon was a part of that. The crime didn't happen in here, it happen out there." She pointed towards the door. "I don't want you anywhere near my school, either of you." The woman ceased communication with them, using her hands to say something to the interpreter behind them, before she stormed away.

"That didn't look good." Warrick turned to the look at the woman behind them. "What'd she say?"

"She's kicking us out."

"Great." Sara sighed softly, turning for the door behind them. "Some family. She's not even willing to help find out what happened to a dead student of hers."

"She has a point." Her partner agreed with the doctor, stepping outside first. "The crime didn't happen at her school."

"Yeah, but it's still her responsibility to help him. Dead or not. Now we're going to have to waste the Judges time trying to get a warrant to search his room."

"Maybe not. C'mon, let's get back to the lab." Warrick thought of an idea, leading the way through the busy school back to the car.

* * *

"Catherine, you're late for our appointment." Ecklie caught up to her in the lab hallway, extending his wrist towards her, so she could see the time on his watch. "I've been waiting for half an hour."

"Sorry, but with Grissom out, I'm acting supervisor and I have a lab to run. Hey, Mandy." The woman suddenly stopped, turning the other way to grab the lab technician. "Doctor Robbins just sent up a set of prints to you from our, John Doe, DB down in autopsy. Can you run them against these first?" She handed her the file from her hands. "Family identified him, but I just need you to make sure we have the right guy. The guy has a long history of being a con artist. We don't have DNA, but we've got prints. Let Nick know once you identify him."

"Sure, no problem, boss." Mandy gave her a smile, taking the file back into her lab with her.

"Catherine, I need to speak with you." The man continued to follow her.

"Phone messages for you, Ms Willows." Receptionist, Judy handed her a stack of post it notes.

"Thanks. Some of us have real work to do, Conrad." Catherine sighed heavily, making it back to her office. "It'll have to wait." She flipped through her messages, dropping the stack on the edge of her desk. "I'm busy."

"It can't wait." He pushed his way into her office with her. "It won't take long, I just need to talk to you for just a moment. I've already spoken to most of the team. You've done outstanding work over the years, Catherine. You always manage to keep a level head. I can see that you have commendations from detectives and DA's..."

"What's your point?" She took a seat behind her desk.

"Some of us feel as though Grissom would be better suited to another role here at the lab. Leadership, especially of late, doesn't appear to be his strong suit and I feel as though the team is suffering for it. You've been passed up for promotion, due to inconsistencies with your monthly reviews. You missed an important conference that would have done wonders for your career, because Grissom failed to file the paperwork in time."

"He had a lot on his mind." Catherine continued to defend the man. She had forgiven him a long time ago for that little mishap. "What is this all about?"

"I'm investigating the effectiveness of Grissom's team and his ability to lead it. There's been a chronic lack of supervision and disciplinary action where it's needed. All of you have been covering for his short comings for far too long. Before his mismanagement jeopardises the lab, I'm planning on rectifying the situation."

"By doing what?" She felt her heart pounding inside her chest, fearing that this was the end for him.

"For now, I just need to know your opinion on your Supervisor's ability to lead."

"How am I even supposed to answer that, Conrad?" Catherine finally snapped, furious with the man's line of questioning. "Unless you've forgotten, Gil didn't exactly ask for this position. He was forced into it after, Jim Brass was demoted. He's done the best he could in this situation, which is a lot better than most around here. We're a great team and you know it. Our solve rate is much higher than swing or day shift."

"No one is questioning the team, Catherine." The man assured her. "They're questioning Grissom's ability to lead the team. This is a case of poor leadership. You said it yourself, he never wanted this role. I'm recommending that he be demoted effect of immediately."

"Gil is a great leader." Catherine protested. "You just don't like him, because he doesn't play into lab politics like you do."

"I have a great deal of respect for him. I just don't think he's the right man for the job. I'm also recommending that you take his place."

"Don't dangle that in front of me." Catherine scowled at the man at his weak attempt of a bribe. "You know for a fact that I've applied for the position of Day Shift Supervisor three times and you've turned me every time, saying I wasn't ready. I wanted the Day Shift position, so I could be there more for my daughter, Lindsey. Graveyard shift supervisor will only make my schedule worse."

"It's because of your Supervisor's failings that you weren't ready." He passed the blame, turning for the door to her office. "Think about it and get back to me, Catherine. Brown." Ecklie spotted the last two CSIs returning from the field. "I need to speak with you in my office. Sidle, you're next, so don't go anywhere."

"I can't right now." Warrick motioned towards the office behind him.

"It won't take long."

"Catherine, you got a minute." Ignoring the weasel of a man outside, Warrick closed the door to Catherine's office, letting her in on his plan to bring the good doctor around.

"Looks like you're up, Sidle. Follow me." Ecklie glanced at his watch, giving her a sinister grin as he ushered her in the direction of his office. He closed the door behind her, offering her a seat, before he took his own behind the desk. "As you know, it's my job to review everyone's file. I've been reviewing yours and I just wanted to make sure that you finished up with your PEAP counsellor after that little incident."

Sara dropped into the chair with a sigh, wishing she was anywhere but here right now. "I really don't see how that's any of your business, Ecklie."

"Not only is it my business, but I plan to speak with your supervisor about it."

"About what?" She frowned in his direction.

"You have updated him, right?"

"Yeah, we've had... conversations." She gulped softly. "That's not really any of your concern though. I'm doing fine. I've completed my required number of sessions already."

"Well, your Supervisor failed to note that conversation in your file. I can also see that you requested assistant supervisor, Willows to carry out a review this month, regarding your new situation." Ecklie motioned towards her stomach, not catching the look of disgust on the woman's face. "Can I ask why you decided to speak with Willows rather than your own Supervisor about the situation?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't think that's any of your business either. None of this is any of your business."

"Really, because it shows me that you not only question your own Supervisor's ability to lead, but you don't trust him with a personal matter like this."

"It had nothing to do with that. You have no idea what you're talking about. Can I go?" She motioned towards the door. "I have a case to work. Something you would understand if you actually did any work around here."

"You can go." The man jotted something down in her file, giving her a smile. "Congratulations by the way."

Climbing to her feet, Sara felt her skin crawling with disgust as she exited his office. Ecklie was the last person on earth she would have wanted to tell about her pregnancy. She'd rather tell her mother before him and she hadn't spoken to the woman in years.

"Hey." Warrick caught up to her. "You alright?"

"Yeah." She lied, starting to feel a little nauseous again. "Are you going to tell me what your secret plan was now?"

"Yeah, alright." He smiled, walking away from Ecklie's office while the man was distracted. "I asked Catherine to call in a favour with the big man. You mentioned that Grissom's mother was deaf, so he knows a little something about it. The professor was hostile towards us because we didn't understand what it was like to be deaf, so I figured we take him with us to butter her up a little, then we can get what we want. Besides, we don't have enough for a warrant. He's gonna meet us there."

"On his day off?"

"What can I say, the man loves his job. C'mon." Warrick led the way back to his car, hurrying Sara along as she dragged on behind him. She really didn't want to see Doctor Gilbert again, but most of all, she didn't want to be face to face with the man who had been ignoring her for the past twenty four hours.

Much to her surprise, Grissom was already there, waiting for them in the car park. She thought he would have packed up his stuff and run for the hills right about now, but he looked so casual.

Sara hung back to let her partner fill him in on their case, not even getting so much as a look, before they made their way back inside the school. She followed them all the way to Doctor Gilbert's office this time, staying put by the door as Grissom took the lead.

"Doctor Gilbert, I'm Gil Grissom with the Las Vegas Crime Lab." He greeted her with a hand shake, before he motioned towards his CSI's behind him. "I heard you kicked my people out?"

"Yes." The blonde pushed herself to her feet, indicating towards the door they had barged in. "And I'm kicking you out too."

Grissom raised his hands from either side of him, speaking and signing. "Look, your student is dead. Don't you want to know who's responsible. I do. We all do. It's not only our jobs to find out, but it's our responsibility."

Warrick cast an eye towards, Sara beside him, realising she was just as surprised by their supervisor's actions. He knew the man had some experience with the deaf, but he didn't realise that he could actually knew sign language.

Doctor Gilbert looked just as surprised, before she motioned towards the CSI's in the door as she spoke and signed. "Your people can't solve this crime."

"Why?" Grissom gave her a curious look, signing, "Because they don't understand the victim? Help them understand. We all want the same thing."

Warrick and Sara watched from the doorway as the Doctor furiously signed something back to their supervisor, looking a little offended by their actions. She didn't speak this time, so they had no idea what she was saying.

"Is that what you think I'm saying?" Grissom asked her. "A student of yours is dead. Maybe you feel responsible. Maybe you're angry. But don't be angry with us. We want to help you. We want to help, Simon and his family."

The woman looked as though she agreed with him this time, but it appeared she had some terms of her own. She agreed to let Warrick and Sara look through Simon's things to get on with the rest of their case, but she insisted on being involved in the investigation, keeping Grissom occupied with her attention.

That was all Sara needed, yet another woman to compete with.

Instead of rushing off to attend his appointment at the hospital, Grissom decided to stick around for a little longer, curious to see how the case would pan out. He kept Doctor Gilbert informed every step of the way, only putting more distance between himself and his significant other.

"Gil, I'm glad you're here." Ecklie caught him on his return to the lab. "I need to speak to you in my office."

"Not now, Conrad." The man sighed, feeling his headache becoming oddly worse at the mere sight of the other man. "I'm on my way down to the station. I'm meeting Doctor Gilbert to let her know that we have a suspect." He made a beeline for the open elevator, rubbing his forehead once he was inside.

"Good Morning." Sofia startled him, alerting him to her presence against the wall. "I heard that you had the day off today. You know that generally means you're supposed to come into the lab."

"That's where I've been going wrong." He gave her a smile."I was called in to assist a case."

"I heard that the college professor has taken quite a fancy to you. I did a little background check for Warrick earlier, she's single, divorced..."

"Sofia." Grissom cut her off, replacing his hand to his head. "She's part of an ongoing investigation. Even if she wasn't, we're not here to date. We're professionals and we're here to do a job." He stepped off the elevator as soon as the doors opened, grateful for the doors opening just in time.

Without looking back, Grissom made his way towards the interrogation room, spotting Warrick and Sara inside with their suspect. He didn't look anything like the kind of man he had been picturing. He couldn't have been more than seventeen years old, but he had a sinister grin on his face that excluded him of all innocence.

Feeling a hand touch his arm, Grissom turned his head to the side, smiling as he made eye contact with Doctor Gilbert. He couldn't tell if she was speaking as well as signing, but he understood what she was saying perfectly, due to years of practice with his own mother.

When she spotted the suspect inside the room though, he heard the crash of the door being thrown open, followed by the muffled sound of her voice as she laid into the man who had murdered one of her own.

He really didn't want to stop her because he really felt for her and the children she cared for, but he couldn't let her compromise their investigation. He quickly led her out of the interrogation room, calming her down in the police station's break room with a pot of their stale coffee that had a nasty bite to it.

Doctor Gilbert sat at the table in front of him, brushing away the tears from her eyes with her fingers, until Grissom handed her a tissue. She gave the man a slight smile, thanking him as she wiped away her tears. "How can someone do this?" She signed and spoke to him. "He was still just a child."

"I don't like to understand how people can do the things they do. Fear, anger, hatred... I'm sure at the time of the incident, their reasons made sense to them. I just don't want to understand them."

"They killed him because he was different." Doctor Gilbert shook her head. "They killed an innocent child, because of something he was born with."

Grissom raised his hands from the table, signing, 'Some people are just afraid.'

'You don't see us as different.' She signed back to him.

"You're not." He assured her.

Doctor Gilbert reached her hand across the table, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. She took a quick sip of the stale coffee, cringing as it hit her tongue. 'Who taught you how to sign?' She curiously asked him, wondering why someone who could hear would go to all the trouble.

Grissom set his own bitter cup of coffee down, signing, 'My mother.'

"Tell me about her... and use your hands... you're a little rusty."

The man smiled sheepishly, trying to remember the last time he actually used sign language to speak to anyone. He communicated with his mother through texting and emailing a lot lately, so he hadn't exactly needed to use it. He looked at his hands, trying to remember the signs for the words in his head.

'My mother lost her hearing when she was pregnant with me. She knew it might be possible, because of a hereditary condition in her family. Her parents taught her sign language from an early age. When I was a child, I asked her what it was like to be deaf. She told me to stick my head under the water.'

Doctor Gilbert chuckled softly, giving him a nod. 'True.'

'And you?' He gave the woman a curious look, trying to lead away from the subject of his own impending doom. His hearing was cutting in and out a lot more than it was just a few days ago, reminding him that he might never be able to hear the same again after this operation.

'I was sick as a child. I lost my hearing quite young. I can hear some sounds with my hearing aids in, but it still sounds like I am under water.'

"I know the feeling." Grissom spoke softly, returning to signing as he revealed his secret to a perfect stranger. 'I have the same condition as my mother. I'm losing my hearing. I'm... scared.' He confessed, motioning around the police station they were in. 'I fear that I can't do my job. I fear losing a part of myself. I fear the reaction of my team. I fear losing control. I'm more scared of losing control then I am of losing my hearing.'

"Gil." The door to the break room burst open, revealing the constant source of annoyance in Grissom's life. Lad Director, Conrad Ecklie. "I really need that word with you now. It's important."

Grissom signed something to the woman in front of him, getting a smile out of her as he excused himself from the table. He reluctantly followed the man down the hall towards, Captain Jim Brass' vacant office, noticing CSI, Sofia Curtis was already inside. He thought it must be serious if she was involved in this meeting, but he still followed him inside.

"Take a seat, Gil." The man practically insisted.

"I'd rather stand." Grissom folded his arms across his chest, squinting his eyes together to try and focus on the man's lips. "What's all this about, Conrad?"

"Recently, you're ability to supervise has come into question. I've warned you about this so many times, Gil, so it's not exactly a surprise that it's come to this. I've been investigating your role as Graveyard shift supervisor, speaking with the members of your team and going through their files. Taken individually, there's nothing specific that warrants disciplinary action. However, my investigation has led me to question the effectiveness of your team and your ability to lead it. I've made my decision and I've decided that the best course of action would be to break you guys up."

"Excuse me?" He didn't quite follow, not for lack of hearing.

"Effective immediately, Catherine Willows will be promoted to Swing Shift Supervisor..."

"Wait a minute, Catherine has applied for days." Grissom knew this, because she hassled him often enough about her application.

"I'm doing what's best for the lab." Ecklie simply answered. "I've decided to move the Swing Shift Supervisor to days."

"Wait, I've been acting Supervisor for Day Shift for the past month." Sofia protested, realising now why he wanted her present during this meeting. "I believe I've more than proven myself capable."

Ignoring her argument, Ecklie continued, "Warrick Brown will be joining, Catherine Willows on Swing shift, along with Nicholas Stokes. They've proven that they work well together on their cases and they respect, Catherine's leadership. Pending Greg Sander's proficiency, he'll join you on graveyard shift permanently, along with Sofia Curtis and Sara Sidle, at least until she takes her maternity leave."

"You're demoting me?" Sofia looked at the man in disbelief, not even noticing the maternity statement.

"Yes, I believe that the two of you suit each other well and you'll be taking on Catherine's former role as assistant supervisor on graveyard shift, effect of immediately. For now, I'll be leaving Grissom in charge of the shift, pending further investigation."

"Why are you doing this, Conrad?" Grissom's headache became more severe.

"Your people have been covering for you for far too long, Gil. I don't believe that you make an effective team. Your short comings as a leader is jeopardising this labs integrity. You're lucky that I'm not demoting you." He warned him, going for the door. "My decision is final."

Grissom wasn't a violent man, but he felt like punching the man in front of him, wiping that smug look off his face once and for all. He left Sofia to her thoughts, throwing his hands up in the air as Warrick came over to ask him a question.

"No, I'm done. I'm not even supposed to be here." He avoided looking in Sara's direction, heading straight for the door as his migraine came on a little stronger.

This day honestly couldn't get any worse, but he still had an appointment at the hospital to keep.

After dressing himself in the paper garment that was supposed to be his hospital gown, Grissom perched himself on the edge of the bed, holding out his arm as the nurse strapped a cuff around it. She started pumping it up to check his blood pressure, making his arm feel very odd and tingly. He flinched as she took a blood test from his other arm, leaving him with just enough to still feel his heart pounding heavily after the news he had been given over the past few hours.

Pregnancy. Maternity Leave. Demotions. The team being split up.

He just couldn't fathom the details right now. He couldn't even remember how he left it with Sara.

Although he knew that reproduction was possible, given the fact that he was a scientist, fully aware of the male and female reproductive systems. He really wasn't expecting it to ever happen to him. He tended to avoid human contact. He had never been overly social. It wasn't until Sara started having problems that he realised that he could feel for another person.

But pregnant.

He honestly had no idea what he was going to do about this situation. It was hard enough to get used to the idea of having a significant other that he cared for more than he thought possible. Having a child of his own seemed like such a distant impossible thing to him.

It just wasn't possible.

The team being taken away from him was a whole different matter though. He didn't exactly choose the team from the start, but he enjoyed working with each and every one of them. He knew that one day he might lose, Catherine to another shift, so she could be with her daughter more, but he was more proud of her then he was worried. Unlike him, she had what it took to lead. She was a lot more organised than him and she knew how to read people.

Losing Warrick and Nick hit a little harder though.

Grissom was there when Warrick was first hired. He saw a potential in him to go as far as leading his own team one day. He worked alongside him for years, before he finally became his leader, encouraging him to push himself a little harder, making it to a CSI level three. He knew that Nick looked up to him as a father figure from the day he was promoted to their supervisor, but he only ever wanted to be a mentor to the man. He was proud of him either way, but the younger man was constantly seeking his approval to make sure he was doing everything right.

He didn't know what it was like to be a real parent to someone, but he had a sense of paternal pride for his team.

"Hey, Gil." He heard a familiar voice, glancing up to see Catherine stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Grissom didn't want to sound ungrateful, but he didn't want his team anywhere near him in such a vulnerable position. He came to the hospital on his own and he planned on keeping it to himself too.

He didn't even want to tell Sara after what she had told him.

"Moral support... mostly." She stuffed her hands in her jeans pockets, making her way towards him. "Satisfying my curiosity a little too. I didn't want you to go in without wishing you good luck and I had to see for myself that you were really here. That and Ecklie just gave me the news about the team. Gil, I never wanted this to happen."

"It's not your fault." He shook his head. "It's mine. I know I'm not a very good leader."

"You are though. We're the screw ups here." Catherine gave the man a smile. "You're the best thing for this team. Ecklie can't see that, because he's too wrapped up in lab politics and kissing ass to even notice. You don't honesty believe his crap about us not being an effective team, do you?"

"No, I believe that the longer a team works together, the stronger they become. But I'm not in charge of the lab, nor would I want to be." Grissom shrugged his shoulders together, giving the woman a slight smile. "Either way, I'm proud of you, Catherine. This is all I ever wanted for you."

"Thank you... I just wish that it was under better circumstances. I never wanted to split up the whole team to get what I wanted."

"You deserve the promotion, Catherine." He assured her, holding the side of his head as his headache started coming on again. "I'm not sure that Sofia really deserved her demotion though. She seems more than capable of leading a team."

"It might have something to do with the complaint that someone filed against her on day shift." Catherine suggested, shrugging her shoulders together. "Just a rumour that I heard when she first joined us. Maybe Ecklie's just trying to shake things up a little with his new found power. It'll blow over in a few weeks or so." She hoped, even though she was really looking forward to changing her hours around. They gave her a little more time with her daughter, not much, but more than her previous schedule allowed her to.

"He's certainly letting the power go to his head." He agreed with her.

"So, did you manage to talk to Sara today?" Catherine quickly changed the subject, eager to get off the subject of Ecklie for a change.

"No. I wasn't exactly there for a social visit, Catherine." He smiled at the nurse beside him as she placed a hospital band around his wrist. "I'll talk to her once I get this out of the way. It's not like I can really be there for her at the moment."

"So you do want to?"

"Talk to her... of course, I do." Grissom leant back on his hands. "It's the other part that I don't know how to deal with."

"Being a father, you mean? It was bound to happen sooner or later, Gil. You're lucky, you know. You have something to look forward to. A whole new life in fact."

Grissom nodded his head, giving her a slight smile. He wished that he had the guts to confess to Sara about where he was going today, but after she hit him with the bombshell of her surprise pregnancy, he couldn't form sentences, let alone tell her something that made him feel more vulnerable around her.

"Thank you..." He took Catherine's hand, helping himself off the bed. "It means a lot... you being here. But shouldn't you be with Lindsey?"

"My mother's with her today. I'm here for you." Catherine took a step aside, smiling at the porter as she wheeled in a wheel chair to take him through to his surgery. "If you need me." She finished, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, before she let it go. "I'll be here when you wake up." She assured the man.

"I don't need that." Grissom took one look at the wheel chair, shaking his head. Even though he was completely naked under the paper overalls that just had the one tie in the back, he wandered off down the hall, padding bare footed towards his awaiting operating theatre.

Catherine couldn't help but smile at the sight of his bare behind, whispering, "Good luck."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far! I hope you're still enjoying it.**

 **Let me know what you thought of this next chapter. More on the way soon.**

 **Take care and enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	8. Ambiguous

**Chapter Eight - Ambiguous**

Follow up appointments.

Sara's worst nightmare. She thought she was done with the whole counselling thing weeks ago, but as per Ecklie's instructions, she had to go through the whole ridiculous process again. If only her supervisor wasn't so preoccupied with their new found relationship at the time, he might have actually remembered to include the fact that she had already completed her required number of sessions in her monthly review.

Her fault entirely, not that he was that great with organisation before they started dating.

"Good Morning, Miss Sidle." Doctor Alexis Porter finally joined her, lowering the reading glasses pressed against her pale white face. She didn't look like a shrink. She didn't look like any kind of doctor really. She looked more like a retired runway model, who really needed to eat something.

Just looking at her made Sara hungry. She had been having cravings for cheese all morning, but since entering the cosy brown leather decor of the doctor's office, she had a rather odd craving for a warm hearty roast of some kind.

A leg of Lamb with mint sauce and rosemary or perhaps a juicy rump of Beef with horseradish and garden vegetables. She hadn't had either of them since she was a child, but her mouth began to water from the thought of them alone.

"How are you feeling today?" The woman asked her the dreaded question.

Sara wanted to blurt out exactly what she was feeling.

Her lower back was aching. She had a bladder that felt as though it was about to burst every time she moved. She couldn't sleep because of the screaming brat next door and when she finally did doze off to sleep, the baby inside her started trying out for the Olympics. Her fingers had started to swell, making the most simple tasks at work impossibly hard and her ankles were sore and swollen, meaning she had to wear her comfortable sneakers everywhere. She still had heartburn from her last meal. Her hair was dry and frazzled in this desert heat. Her breasts had outgrown practically every bra she owned and she couldn't do the buttons all the way up of her blouses. She popped a button of her flies at the lab the other day, just by sitting down and she didn't have the time to shop for new clothes that actually fit her, leaving her in sweats and a blouse that used to be quite baggy, but it really wasn't anymore.

On top of all of that, she was exhausted, frustrated, hungry and agitated.

"Fine." Sara opted for an easy answer, feeling a sudden heat wave rush over her.

"Really." The doctor didn't look convinced, jotting something in her notebook leant against her stocking covered thigh.

Sara immediately noticed the ladder running up the back of the woman's leg, followed by the white scuff mark on the toe of her black heels. She could even smell her sickly perfume from across the room.

Her senses had definitely heightened.

"Just fine, you're not feeling anything else?" The woman over analysed her answer.

"Hungry." She tightly folded her arms across her stomach as it started to grumble with hunger. "I really am fine though. I don't even know why I have to do this again. I completed my required number of sessions weeks ago."

"Did you stop the sessions because you resolved your issues or did you feel as though you no longer needed to talk to someone?"

"To quote a great man." Smiling, Sara answered, "I found another outlet."

"It's good to have outlets." The doctor agreed with her, uncrossing her legs. "It's still good to have someone to talk to as well, especially in your line of work. It can't be easy with the day to day task of solving the murders of people of all ages, all races and backgrounds... especially in your situation."

"Situation?" She looked at the woman confused, before she turned angry. "The lab director told you that I was pregnant? How is that any of your business or his for that matter? He needs to learn to keep his nose out of our private lives. I mean please, there's no way I'd tell that man voluntarily that I was with child." She felt goose bumps prickly their way down her arms. "He has no right to go around telling people my private business. No right at all."

"It's part of your file." Doctor Porter quickly jumped in to defend herself. "I can see that it was filed quite recently..."

"So that's the little weasel's master plan?" She couldn't help but laugh. "Ecklie hasn't liked me since day one. He's been looking for any excuse to get me out of the lab and now he's got the perfect chance by declaring that my pregnancy somehow makes me unfit for the lab." Sara pushed herself to her feet, charging towards the office door. "This has nothing to do with my emotional wellbeing, does it? It's just another one of Ecklie's ideas to try and get me out of the way. Well, I refuse to take part in it."

"Sara, please." The woman tried to get her to come back. "I assure you, these sessions are for you. I'm not here to monitor your pregnancy. I'm not that kind of doctor."

"I don't need a counsellor. I completed my sessions already." Sara pulled the door open, feeling a rush of cold air from the vent system in the hall. She wanted to stay under it for a moment longer to try and cool down a little more, but she didn't want to stick around here any longer. She was on the verge of tears and she didn't want her counsellor to see it.

Another black mark on her file.

Her car was on the furthest edge of the parking lot, right next to the little Chinese food restaurant, making her senses tingle. She breathed in the delicious scents wafting out of the restaurant, holding her stomach as it loudly started to grumble again.

Too late to stop anywhere now, she had a shift at the lab.

Sara managed to hold back her tears until she was behind the wheel of the car, feeling completely out of control as she started blubbering like a baby. She didn't even know why she was crying, but she couldn't get it to stop.

Hormones were definitely on the way and she didn't like it one bit.

When she finally arrived at the lab, she only had one thing on her mind, giving Ecklie an earful without bursting into tears, but a delicious scent drew her towards the break room first. Her mouth watered all the way to the door, until she spied the large open meaty pizza box sat on the table. It looked as though it had just been abandoned and there were plenty of slices left to satisfy her cravings, so she took a few steps closer towards the prize.

"Mine. Hands off." Nick pushed past her, quickly flipping the lid back on the box, before she devoured the whole thing. "I haven't eaten all day."

"Neither have I. Can I just have one slice?" She could still taste the scent in the air. "Please, I'm starving!" The woman groaned.

"No, it's mine." He protected the pizza box in his arms. "And it's meat, Sara. You don't eat meat."

"Technically, it's not for me, it's for this little parasite that seems to want everything that I can't have, so it doesn't count if it's for the baby. Please, just one slice." Sara put her hands together, giving him a pleading look, but he wasn't about to give it up. "Do you know how hungry I am? I feel as though I could eat a whole frigging cow right now."

"So order your own, this one is mine and I'm off shift."

"I'm so glad we're not on the same shift anymore." Sara gave the man a glare, turning for the fridge behind him.

"Have you been cryin'?" He caught a closer look at her.

"No." Sara quickly wiped her hands across her cheeks, searching through the empty shelves of the fridge as her stomach continued to complain. "I ate meat already." She quickly changed the subject, looking at her mean big brother holding the pizza away from her. "It was just a bite, but I bought and cooked a burger. It was delicious and I loved it, but most of it ended up in the trash. It's this baby, it wants meat. So I need that pizza. Give it to me."

Hearing the desperation in her voice and the obvious streaks of tears on her face, Nick reluctantly handed the pizza box over, watching her grabbing her first slice. She took a huge bite out of it, not caring about the fresh melted cheese dribbling down her chin as she indulged herself in her craving of meat.

"You know it's probably the protein in the meat that you're cravin'." Nick finally made an observation, after watching her down two slices of his pizza. "You don't exactly eat well for a vegetarian anyway, Sara. All the Chinese takeout can't be good for the baby. You could probably get all the protein your baby needs by eatin' some fresh veg for a change. You know the stuff that you buy at the supermarket and prepare yourself. Then you wouldn't even need to eat meat."

"Isn't it just quicker this way?" Sara asked with a mouthful of food. She grabbed a dropped slice of pepperoni from the table, letting it rest on her tongue a moment, before she started to chew. "Like what?" She finally asked, wishing she had asked before she indulged herself with the three slices of pizza.

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders together, taking the box off her, before she devoured the whole thing. "Spinach, peas... all the greens that you don't eat. You're not doin' yourself or your baby any favours by only eatin' takeout."

"I hate spinach and it's not always takeout." She didn't want to tell him about all the home cooked meals that Grissom had been making her, prior to him actually finding out about the baby.

"What about eggs? They have protein in them. Milk. Lentils. You gotta eat healthy for the kid, Sara. Did you tell the father yet?" He curiously asked her, knowing it wasn't really any of his business, but he still felt bad for the guy.

"Yeah." Sara licked the remaining sauce from her fingers. "He knows. He doesn't want anything to do with us though."

"Oh... I'm sorry, Sara. You deserve a lot better than him. Not that I know who he is." Nick set the box down, freeing up his arms to hug her. He knew that Sara wasn't that big on hugging, but he came from a family who always helped each other through the difficult times with anything that they could. In this case, he thought that a hug would suffice. "Hey, if you need anythin'. Anythin' at all for you and the baby, you know where I am. I've seen my sisters go through all this tons of times. Not the birth part though, so you'll have to call someone else for that. But anythin' else, I'm your guy."

"Thanks." Sara gave the man a sincere smile, softly patting his shoulder. "Any of your sisters do it alone?" She queried, pulling back from his hug. "The raising the kid part, not the giving birth part. I'd be happy to do that part alone."

"Uh... one, for a few months. The guy realised what he was missin' out on when he saw the baby for the first time. No one can resist a newborn. They've been married ten years now and they have three kids."

"I don't think I'll go that far. One is already too much." Sara wiped the extra pizza sauce from her mouth with the back of her hand, spotting Ecklie making his way through the corridor outside. He hadn't spotted her yet, but he was definitely searching for someone during his patrol of the hallway. "I gotta go, thanks for the pizza."

"Wasn't exactly my choice." The man examined what he had left, before he gave her a smile. "But you're welcome. You gotta start eatin' healthy for the baby though, Sara. What are you gonna feed your kid when it gets here? Kids can't survive on takeout."

"Thank you for your input, Nick. But I don't need you or anyone else telling me how unprepared I am for this baby. I have enough time on my hands to think about that myself." Sara sighed softly, making her way out the door. She quickly decided against her drastic plan to chase down, Ecklie and demand an explanation, bumping into his lackey instead.

"Oh hey, you're here." Sofia greeted her with a fake warm smile, before she presented her with the slip from her hands. "We've got our first assignment. Conrad is standing in as our supervisor for the day, while Grissom is still out. He thought that you and I would make a great team."

Trying to hide her disappointment, Sara forced a smile at the woman, reluctantly tagging along to their crime scene. Her heartburn began to fade away once she got stuck in with the work, but the smell of one of the deputy's lunches set off her cravings again. She felt tempted to swipe the spicy burrito right out of his hands while he was distracted, but she knew that she couldn't risk contaminating their crime scene.

"Hey, can you bag this?" Sofia distracted her away from her cravings.

Sara reluctantly grabbed for an evidence bag from her kit, slotting the matchbook inside. She examined it closely once it was beneath the clear plastic shield, before she glanced up at the store that had been burnt down around them. "Well that was a little... obvious."

"What was that?" Sofia called back to her, lowering her camera to her side. "We're definitely looking at an arson case."

"What gave it away?" Sara sarcastically remarked, surprised that the smell of the burnt shop floor wasn't setting off her nausea. "The back office was barely touched by the fire. If the body was our arsonist, they didn't give themselves enough time to get away." She made her own observations, looking at the smoking corpse behind them. She almost missed it on her way in because he was so charred, but even the smell of burnt flesh hadn't set her off yet.

"There's burnt skin on this door handle." Sofia noted, taking a closer look with the light of her flash light. "The corpse is kinda small... maybe a bored teenager that got way in over his head."

Looking around the store, Sara took a step behind the cashier desk, taking a look through the charred documents. She tried the drawer of the cash register, lifting out a driver's licence from inside that was untouched by the fire. "There's at least four hundred dollars in the drawer and a driver's licence. Must be the store owner. Forty five years old. Mr Raymond Grayson. Height five foot six."

"Coroner will be able to tell us if this is our guy." Sofia stood over the body, trying to judge his height. "There's no wedding ring on his finger."

"I don't know how they do it on day shift, but we're not allowed to touch the body. That's the coroners deal." Sara stopped her from making a big mistake.

"Not touching... looking." Sofia raised her hands either side of her as she leant a little closer. "Flannel shirt... jeans... not exactly the high end jewellery store type. Facing the wrong way if he was heading for the front door."

"You said there was skin on the door handle. Maybe he tried to open it, caused a flash fire. The blast blew him backwards." Sara shared her theory, glaring at the back of the other woman's head as she continued to talk to herself, examining what remained of their crime scene. She wasn't about to compete with this woman over a simple arson case, but she had worked a case like this over a million times before. She didn't need some newbie telling her how to do her job.

"Sidle. Curtis." A deputy called through the store, ushering the CSIs towards him with a hand gesture, so he didn't have to go inside and potentially damage evidence. He wasn't about to make that mistake again. "We did a sweep of the perimeter. There's something you've gotta see."

"I'll take this one." Sara insisted, desperate to get out of here.

"Alright, hurry back. We still have the rest of the scene to document. Any word on the coroner?" Sofia glanced at her watch, just as the big black van marked 'Coroner' pulled up behind a squad car. The blonde folded her arms across her chest, glaring at the men as they slowly exited the vehicle. "Finally. Thought we were gonna have to wait all night for you guys. What took you so long?"

"Sorry." David quickly grabbed his kit from the back. "Hi, Sara." He gave the radiant brunette woman a warm smile, before he turned to look at the blonde with the angry scowl on her forehead. "We got held up at our last crime scene. Swing shift were working a massive gang shoot out. Five dead bodies on scene."

"Oh no, any officers?" Sofia immediately asked.

"Only two wounded officers." Doctor Albert Robbins reported, stepping into the crime scene first. "A few gang members survived. They're in the hospital. They hinted that it was retaliation for what happened a few weeks ago. One of our own shooting that young girl."

"More Deputy Miles backlash." The woman shook her head, sighing softly. "Revenge killings only end up with more bloodshed. More dead kids. More grieving parents. Where does it end?"

"Don't ask me. I just examine the bodies." Doctor Robbins clicked on his flashlight, looking down at the charred corpse of their victim. "Yep, he's dead. He was certainly alive when the fire started."

"I could have told you that one." The blonde woman remarked.

"Sidle." The deputy by the door tried to get her attention again, distracting her away from the crime scene.

"Sorry." Leaving the scene behind, Sara reluctantly followed in the deputy's footsteps around the side of the building, feeling her heart begin to slow as he led her towards the skip around the back that was buzzing with flies. She hadn't seen inside it yet, but the smell immediately started to make her feel nauseous.

Nothing could disguise the smell of a rotting corpse.

Covering her hand over her mouth, Sara cautiously approached the open skip, holding back the urge to throw up as she saw the body of the young woman, poorly wrapped in plastic alongside the noodles and burrito wrappers.

Sara stared at the body for the longest moment, trying to make sense of it all, before she finally managed to tear herself away. "Alert the coroner." She instructed the deputy beside her, examining the scene around the bin, noticing a swipe of black paint on the side of the green skip.

This was exactly the kind of scene that she liked to work, something with a little mystery to it, rather than being so cut and dry. With Grissom ignoring her calls, she needed something like this to keep her mind occupied.

* * *

"No luck with your victim's fingerprints. Sorry, Sara." Greg rejoined her in the layout room at the lab, wishing he had better news for her. She certainly needed it lately, especially with Grissom being out of the lab so much. "I heard that Sofia just got an ID on her victim, Jeremy Grayson. The shop owners son."

"It's not a competition, Greg." Sara spoke softly, scrolling through another page of missing persons on her computer. She figured that her victim would come up as Jane Doe because of the location she was found in and the clothes she was wearing, so she was working on other ways of identifying her. "I've found two possible matches. What do you think?"

Greg made his way round the table, looking over her shoulder at the two girls. "No. The one on the right is too tall to be your girl and the one on the left, it says she has a birth mark on the back of her neck. Your Jane Doe doesn't have a birth mark."

"She could have had it removed."

"Blood types wrong." Greg pointed out another detail. "Jane Doe is AB negative. I saw it on Doc Robbins report while I was down there."

"You're not helping." Sara glared up at him, placing her hand on her stomach as she continued to scroll through another page of missing persons. She spotted one that looked very similar to her Jane Doe, but then she found a report that the victim's body had already turned up in Florida a few weeks ago. "What's Sofia working on now then?"

"Store owner is down in the station with her, giving a statement." Greg tried to remember what he had overheard on his way through. "He hasn't seen his son in a few years. He divorced his mother nearly eight years ago and Jeremy has been in juvy for the past two years. He torched the neighbours shed while they were on holiday."

"So he probably did start the fire then." She smiled to herself, relieved that she managed to find a more interesting case to work. "Does the father have an alibi?"

"Home. TV. Meal for one. I think TiVo is his only witness." Greg perched himself on the edge of the table, folding his arms across his chest. "If it's not a competition, Sara, then why are you so interested in her case?"

"Professional curiosity." Sara shrugged her shoulders together. "And it started out as mine, Greg. What about this one?" She motioned towards a girl halfway down.

Leaning forwards, Greg took a quick look at the picture, before he scanned his eyes across the details. "Your Jane Doe can't be her. Look, she's in the system, so DNA would have come up with a hit." He let her down again. "Do you want me to take a look, Sara? You seem a little distracted."

Sara glanced at the computer screen for a moment, before she lifted her gaze to meet, Greg's. "Sure, why not. I'm starving anyway." She slid her chair backwards, pushing herself to her feet. "Hey, let me know as soon as you find anything."

"Don't worry, I won't share any information with the enemy camp." He gave her a reassuring smile. "You know, Sofia really isn't so bad once you get to know her. We've had dinner quite a few times. She's really nice."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Sara let the door close behind her, making her way across the hall to the break room. She couldn't see any sign of the Texan or his pizza box as she approached the door, but then she noticed, Sofia leant against the counter, stirring her coffee. She wanted to turn and walk away, but the woman had already spotted her in the doorway.

"Hi, Sara. Do you want one?"

"No... thank you." Sara grabbed herself a glass of water instead. She leant against the opposite counter, breathing in a deep breath as the awkward silence filled the air. She listened to the sound of Sofia's spoon circling the mug for a few more minutes, before she decided to speak. "How's it going with your case?"

"Solved." Sofia lifted her gaze, smiling at the woman. "The dead body at the scene was the owner's son, Jeremy. He hasn't seen him in years, but he was getting anonymous threats for weeks. The store was broken into a few weeks ago. He reported it to the police. They examined the scene, got some unknown prints off the till. I checked with Jeremy's juvy record, the prints match up. Looks like he was trying to get his father's attention. Took it a little too far with the fire."

Sara pursed her lips together, giving the other woman a nod. "Solved... just like that. Did you cover all the angles?"

"I used to be a shift supervisor, you know." Sofia felt the need to remind her, finally ditching her spoon. "I'm completely capable of solving a case."

Sara shrugged her shoulders together, pushing herself off the counter. "I didn't say anything. I was just thinking that it seems a little simple. After years of being without a father, Jeremy decides to go and burn his store down, rather than asking for an explanation. If it were me, I'd want an explanation."

"Ecklie's given me the lead on the Jane Doe in the dumpster case." Sofia broke it to her, trying not to smile as she saw the annoyance on the other woman's face. "I'm acting assistant supervisor after all. I get to pick my cases and it's part of my job to supervise the team while the supervisor is out."

Sara clenched her teeth into her bottom lip to avoid saying anything, glaring at the woman as she made her way out of the break room with a smug grin plastered across her lips. She cast her eyes towards the empty office across the hall from her, wishing he would just show up. He had always been there for her before, she didn't understand why he couldn't be there for her during this.

"Ugh, I hate that woman." Sara returned to Greg in the AV lab. "She's nothing but a... two faced... bitch." She ditched her glass of water on the table, feeling a sudden cramp in her side. It didn't feel like anything she was used to, but nothing about these past few weeks was exactly normal. She placed her hand over the cramp, feeling a soft poke coming from inside her stomach.

"Who?" Greg looked at her confused.

"Sofia. Who do you think?" Sara lost control of emotions, giving into another emotional outburst. "She's finished her case, so she's stolen mine right out from under me. If she had asked me, I would have said yes, but no, she goes right into stealing it and taking the lead."

"Sofia wouldn't..."

"Well she just did." Sara cut him off. "You may not be able to see her for what she really is, because she's got you wrapped around her little finger. But I can see just fine. She's a two faced blonde kiss ass. No wonder Ecklie didn't want her working with him anymore. She's a bitch."

"Sara, I think you're taking this a little personally." The younger man spoke softly, anxiously biting his bottom lip as she shot him a look. He had never seen her like this before. It was slightly attractive, but scary at the same time.

"Damn right it's personal. She thinks she can just swan in and take whatever she likes. None of us agreed to this stupid shift change over. Why in the hell would we ever want to replace, Nick and Warrick with a blonde kiss ass like her? She's not a part of this team. If you can even call us a team anymore."

"It wasn't her choice either, Sara." Greg interjected. "I'm sure she'd rather be back in her position as the Shift Supervisor for Days than a demotion to our team. It's not her fault that she's here. She's on Ecklie's shit list, just as much as us."

"Oh, who's side are you on." Sara barked at the man, escaping the lab, before she had to listen to anymore. She made it to the rooftop parking lot before she finally breathed, feeling a little mortified about how she had behaved. She sounded like a crazy woman back there and the whole lab probably heard it. She clung to the rail, feeling as though she needed to scream to get all of these crazy emotions out of her.

But then she felt it again.

The soft poke to the side of her stomach. The inside of her stomach to be exact.

Sara immediately smiled to herself, realising that it was a kick. Her baby's first kick. She didn't realise that it could kick at this stage. She knew that it could summersault all night long while she was trying to sleep, but it was definitely a kick from a very tiny foot inside her this time. Her baby was actually kicking her, bringing a wider smile to her lips and tears to her eyes.

If only the father of her child was here to experience it with her.

* * *

Lying back on his sofa with a cold wash cloth draped over his forehead, the lights dimmed and the company of Hank the dog, Grissom finally started to drift off to sleep. He hadn't seen or heard from anyone in nearly three days, but it was rough sleeping with so much on his mind and the painful recovery process of his operation. His doctor told him not to expect many changes to his hearing so early on, but he had already noticed the return of the singing birds in the morning. Cars driving by seemed a little louder and the constant buzz of his phone vibrating against the table was both annoying and wonderful at the same time.

If it wasn't for this migraine, he'd probably be out in the world, listening to what the rest of the world had to offer.

Before he managed to doze off though, there was a sudden knock at his door. He prayed for them to go away, thinking it was his neighbour asking for help with her car again or maybe the crazy cat lady across the street who wanted to try out new recipes on him all the time.

After a while, pretending he wasn't home didn't seem to work. He tossed the wash cloth onto the coffee table, stumbling over Hank on his route to the front door. He spied through the peephole in his door, gasping for a sudden breath at the sight of his visitor.

"Morning." Sara called through the door. "I've brought you food." She held up the bag of pastries to the peephole. "Gil, I can see your shadow. Can I please just see you? It's been... weeks."

Grissom glanced down at his feet casting the shadow through the door, giving out a soft sigh, before he pulled the door open. He shielded his eyes from the bright sunshine outside, getting his first taste of real daylight in forty eight hours. He quickly ushered her inside with a hand gesture, closing the door behind her.

Instead of seeing what she had to offer, he made his way back to the sofa, dropping back into his comfortable position.

"A migraine?" Sara noticed the similar symptoms, taking the bag of pastries down the steps to the kitchen. She set them down on the counter, examining the dirty dishes piled up in his sink, completely unlike him, before she made her way back towards him. "Is this why you've been skipping work?" She set her bag down, perching herself on the coffee table to watch over him. "Catherine just told us that you're taking some time off... leaving the Queen Bee of ass kissing in charge of our new shift."

"Sara." He cut her off, looking a little annoyed. He rubbed his forehead from his position on the sofa, not ready to deal with this problem just yet. "If you don't mind, I would rather be alone."

"Okay, I have somewhere to be anyway. I just wanted to stop by to see how you were doing." Picking up her bag off the floor, Sara rummaged through the pockets for a moment, finding the ultrasound picture from her scan a few weeks ago. She placed it on his chest, gently stroking her fingers through Hank's fur, before she got up to leave.

Grissom sealed his eyes shut as she flooded daylight into his house again, relieved when she finally closed the door. After a moment, he reached for the odd rectangular thing she had placed on his chest, holding it just high enough above his head to see what it was.

The image was a little blurry to him at first, but as soon as his eyes managed to adjust, he could see the very clear shape of a fetus. The head was the most obvious part. He traced his fingertip across the base of the skull, finding a slight protrusion that was clearly the nose. The chin was tucked close to the chest, but he could see what looked like an arm extending outwards with tiny buds that would become fingers.

When she first told him that she was pregnant, he went into a state of disbelief. He couldn't remember what he said to her, but he knew that it wasn't good as she asked him to leave. The shock of it all right around the time he was losing his hearing and his team, made him feel as though his life was spinning out of control.

It couldn't be real... could it?

Staring at the image in his hands, he realised that it was very real. He felt his first glow of pride for the little being he held in his very hands. He had a feeling of dizziness, almost giddy with the idea of raising a little person with the woman he had grown very fond of.

"Sara!" Rolling himself off the sofa, Grissom rushed for the front door, quickly slipping some shoes on his bare feet. "Sara. Stay here, Hank." He grabbed a key for the front door, bolting down the street in his bathrobe, spotting Sara's car pulling out of her parking space. "Sara, stop." He threw his arms up in the air, standing in front of her car so she had no choice but to stop.

"Are you crazy?" Sara unfastened her seatbelt, climbing out of her car. "I could have killed you."

"Is this for real?" He walked towards her, still clutching the little rectangle. It still didn't seem real, but he needed to know for sure.

"Do you really think I'd go so low to make something like that up?" She gave the man an accusing look. "Of course it's for real. It is generally what happens when you have unprotected sex. It really is true that it can happen your first time, when you're least expecting it. Who'd have thought." She smirked, wishing he would speak rather than just stare. "It's okay. I've already decided that I'm keeping it, so you don't have to do anything."

"You're not..." He lifted his gaze. "Catherine told me that you were thinking about... terminating."

Sara shivered on the spot, shaking her head at him. "Just the thought of doing anything to end it makes me sick. I may not really want it or be ready for it, but I can't do anything like that. I just thought that because it's fifty percent yours, that you would like to know about them. I felt guilty that you didn't know. I didn't think you'd avoid me for nearly two or three weeks or go as far as taking time off work just to be away from me."

"Can you come back inside?" Grissom saw his nosy neighbour's blinds twitching, guessing she was wondering what all the commotion was about. "Sara... please. Don't make me beg you. I just want to... I think we should talk. Please."

"Okay... but I have to park first." She motioned towards her car in the middle of the road.

"How do I know that you're not just going to drive away?" He sounded a little hurt.

"C'mon, Gil. You know me better than that." Sara climbed back in the driver's seat of her car, looking at the lost expression on her significant other's face for a moment. She considered just putting it in drive and hightailing it out of there, so they wouldn't have to have the awkward one to one talk about their future and the possible loss of control where her emotions were concerned again, but she couldn't do that to him and this was what she had been waiting for.

Sara put the car in reverse, giving him a reassuring smile, before she parked it back in its original spot.

Grissom waited on the pavement for her to lock it up, leading her back to his house, where Hank was waiting behind the door with confusion. "Can I get you anything?" He closed the front door behind her, thankful for the darkness of his apartment once again. "I think I've got... bottled water, maybe. I haven't had the chance to shop."

"No, thank you. I'm fine." Sara shook her head, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other at the door. "I'm sorry." She felt the need to apologise for the situation they found themselves in.

"About what?"

"That this happened." She explained, setting her bag on the sofa, before she took a seat. "I know that this is the last thing that either of us would ever want or expect to happen so early into our... physical relationship. I should have thought about protection or something. This is all my fault."

"It's not your fault, Sara." He stayed standing, examining the ultrasound picture from his hand. "How far along?"

"You can't figure out the math for yourself?"

"Humour me."

"I'm seventeen... almost eighteen weeks now... that ultrasound was taken at ten weeks. If you count it back, it adds up to that first Sunday that we..." Sara motioned between the two of them, reaching out her hand to properly greet the dog, Hank this time, leaving the man to his thoughts. She didn't expect him to take the news well, but she wasn't expecting him go into a complete avoidance of her either. "I know neither of us really expected this to happen, but it has and we can't just ignore it. I don't mind if you don't want kids, but I'm keeping..."

"I never said that I didn't want children." Grissom interrupted her, taking a seat on the sofa beside her. "I've thought about it. Not a lot, but I've always wondered what it would be like to bring a child of my own into this world. But I never had the right person with me that I would even consider the mother of my children."

"Why would anyone want to bring a baby into this world?"

"Maybe to make it better." He examined the small rectangle in his hands, feeling a hint of excitement. "I was beginning to think that having a child of my own was just something that was never going to happen for me. I'm not exactly the ideal father figure."

"Then why does Nick look up to you like a father? He's always so desperately seeking your approval because you've earned his respect as a substitute father." She smiled at the adorable clueless man. "Ever since you've been put in charge of the graveyard shift, you've had to manage a team. But you've made it feel more like a family then just colleagues. You have a kind caring nature to you, which makes them all look up to you as a father figure. Warrick especially, since he lacked any real figure growing up."

"You don't... see me that way... do you?" He worried a little.

"No, but the fact that you can be that role for a team full of people, only proves that you're more cut out for this parenting thing then me. I'm the hopeless wreck in all of this. Not just because of the baby either. Ecklie cut me from my case today because I was being too emotional and not following Sofia's lead. Is it my fault that she has no idea what she's doing?" Sara spoke a mile a minute, not noticing that the man beside her was having trouble keeping up. "I shouted at Greg and I've cried three times today. I even shouted at my new counsellor, before I stormed out of the office."

Grissom reached out for her hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"For which part?"

"All of it." He gave the woman a slight smile. "We're in this together, Sara. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you in the way I should. Personally, I think you'd make a wonderful mother. I only have my own to compare you to, but you're kind hearted, warm, loving and you're not afraid to stick up for what you think is right. Our child will be lucky to have you in their life."

"Lucky." Sara sighed softly, looking up at the ceiling above them. "You know before I met my first foster mother, I didn't realise what mothers were. Mine never did a thing for me. I was getting myself up and dressed from a really young age. I had to find myself food. I think my mother drove me to school once then expected me to find my own way every day. After my brother was born, he became my responsibility too. She couldn't even get herself out of bed to change his diapers. I hated her for that. I didn't know mothers were supposed to be warm and loving. My first foster mother used to hold me in her arms. I had never even felt that kind of love from someone before. She always smelt like lavender. I could never be like her."

"Sure you can." Grissom tried to assure her. "You're not your mother, Sara."

"What if I am? I have no idea what I'm doing. What if I give this kid the same nightmare that I had?"

"You won't. You're not capable of it. You're a warm hearted and caring person, Sara. Even I can see that and Catherine says I'm clueless with people." He confessed, smiling warmly at the woman. "You're a product of your foster mothers, not your real mother. Our child... any child will be lucky to have you in their life, because you're an amazing woman."

Sara smiled back at him, feeling those familiar butterflies in her stomach. "So you're completely fine with all of this?"

"I am." He nodded, feeling another hint of excitement.

"Then why have you been avoiding me for the past three weeks? Did you think that I was lying or something? I've been going out of my mind with worry here, Gil and you were just fine with it all along?"

"No..." The man rubbed his head, realising how annoyed she would be with the truth, but he couldn't lie to the mother of his unborn baby anymore. "I was... I wasn't avoiding you, I was avoiding something in my own life." He ran his fingers through his hair, waiting a moment for his heart to steady, before he spoke, "I had an operation. A few weeks ago. I don't know if you noticed, but I've been losing my hearing. I didn't want to deal with it when the symptoms first came on, so I left it to the point where sound was cutting in and out constantly."

"Is this what your mother had?"

Grissom nodded his head slightly, leaning back against the sofa with her hand still in his own. "I know it sounds really horrible, but I was hoping that I wouldn't get what she had. I don't want to be deaf. I've seen how she copes with it and I don't want to feel that... isolated. Having this made me feel... vulnerable... isolated from you and I thought that if I ignored it then it would just go away."

"But it didn't?" Sara slid down the sofa back with him. "Can you hear me now?"

"Yes." He smiled, squeezing her hand in his own. "I get the occasional crackle now and then. It sounds like I'm under water sometimes, but then it comes back. My doctor said that we won't know if the operation was successful, until four to six weeks. He put me on medical leave. I felt ready to go back this morning, but now I've got this killer headache."

"So you haven't been avoiding me?"

"No. I really haven't." Shaking his head, Grissom felt her hair brush against his cheek, smelling her familiar natural scent. "Not you specifically. But I have been avoiding... things for too long. I'm not saying I was completely fine with this from the beginning... because I wasn't." The man confessed, looking at the black rectangle in his hands. "I never really thought about it before and when you told me, I was more terrified over the fact that I would never be able to hear again."

"For the record, I never wanted to tell you like that. I wrote speeches, practiced them even... I didn't mean to sound so... blah about it. I guess we both need to work on our communication." She smiled at the man, already feeling all that negativity she had towards him melting away.

"I guess." He agreed with her. "But I've had a lot of time to think about it. Having a child with you... it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me." He tilted his head to the side, looking into the woman's beautiful big brown eyes. "You're still the best thing that's ever happened to me, my dear. And I still don't think I'm ready for it, but I want to be there for you. For the baby. I can be now. I feel more... in control of my life without this disease hanging over my head."

"Did it hurt?" She straightened up, looking at his ear for herself. She couldn't see any difference, until he pulled his ear forwards for her, showing her the incision mark. "Ouch." Sara ran a fingertip across the hairline, wishing he had told her so she could have been there with him. She gently pulled his head forwards, pressing her lips to his forehead. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you either." The man repeated her, motioning towards the dark rectangle he had in his hands. "You know, I've never seen a live ultrasound before. I've seen pictures, like this one. I know how it works, bouncing sound waves through your body that sends back a picture using the echoes. Amniotic fluid appears black, because the sound waves go through them with no echoes. Bones appear white, because they're solid, creating the loudest echoes and tissue appears grey as its soft." He examined the image a little closer. "But I've never seen one in action."

Sara couldn't help but smile at the man's curiosity on the subject.

"I don't have one scheduled for another few weeks yet, but you can come along with me, if you want to. I have to go in to have a screening test in a few weeks and I have an anomaly scan at twenty weeks. My doctor said I'll probably have a scan done in my third trimester, before the baby is supposed to come out." She cringed at the thought of giving birth, relieved that it was such a long way off at the moment.

"Where were you going?" Grissom gave her a curious look. "Earlier, you said that you have somewhere to be anyway."

"Oh..." Sara smiled, gently brushing her thumb across the back of the man's hand. "No, it's nothing important really. I was just going to go to my first antenatal class. It starts in about twenty minutes," She glanced at her watch to make sure. "My doctor found it for me. She thinks it will help make me feel a little less overwhelmed. I don't think that's really possible after the day I've had though. It's quite close to where I live."

"You're going alone?" He looked surprised. "I'd come with you. I mean, if you wanted me to. I'm available."

"You really want to do that?" Allowing her lips to spread into a wide grin, Sara gave her significant other a nod. "Okay, you can come. I think you better put some clothes on first though. You can't go in your bathrobe. Wait a minute, isn't your headache still bad?" She was a little relieved that she wouldn't have to face other pregnant women on her own, but she was also a little nervous that it might scare him off, especially if he witnessed one of her emotional outbursts.

"Nothing a few pain killers won't fix, my dear." The man bravely leant forwards, stealing a quick kiss from her lips. "I'll hurry."

Grissom quickly pushed himself to his feet, hurrying off towards his bedroom. He ditched his bathrobe on the bed spread, quickly taking his pyjamas off, finding himself something to wear in his closet. He had quite a bit of stubble showing on his face, but he didn't have time for a quick shave as they had to leave now if they wanted to beat the traffic. He grabbed his bottle of pain killers off the night stand and one of the bottles from the fridge door, before he joined the beautiful woman in his front room.

"Wow, that was fast." She double checked to make sure that they still had time. "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm in this with you all the way." Grissom placed his hand over his pounding heart beat, admiring the future mother of his child for a moment. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him and she was carrying the most precious gift in the world. He couldn't believe he had almost thrown that away.

When they arrived, they were asked to sign their names in the baby book, before they grabbed themselves some seats. The room was full of at least twelve other couples, making Sara relieved that her significant did want to come along, otherwise she would have been the only one on her own. She noticed a young girl that looked about fourteen, right up to a woman in her mid forties and they were all sporting bellies a lot bigger than hers.

"Feels like one of those alcoholics anonymous meetings." Sara smirked, trying to lighten the mood a little to make him feel a little less nervous. He removed his jacket as he took a seat beside her, looking around the room at the other couples. He didn't feel too ancient after he noticed a man with all grey hair, but he was still one of the oldest expectant fathers in the room.

Becoming a father to Grissom was a crucial milestone that he never thought he would reach. But then again, stranger things had happened. He never believed he would become a leader of something, until Jim Brass was unexpectedly demoted. He never believed that he would find love in someone so close, even if he still couldn't say it out loud to her.

Stranger things had happened though.

Having lost his own father when he was nine years old, Grissom didn't have that many memories of the man. He mostly remembered things from what people had told him about the man. He couldn't separate what he remembered with what he had been told anymore. He wanted his own child to have a full life of memories of him as their father, hoping he'd be around long enough to make that possible.

A brusque woman named, Jan appeared to instruct the first class, barely giving them enough time to get their heads around the first piece of information she had given them, before she started talking about something completely different.

Grissom felt as though it would have gone a lot better if they had note pads and a slideshow to follow, rather than being talked at by a woman who clearly had somewhere better to be.

Halfway through the class though, another woman, Siobhan came out with a large three dimensional plastic pregnancy model that came complete with the baby inside. She wasn't as direct as the other woman, leaving Grissom with lots of questions.

He raised his hand to ask about the waters breaking. He got a somewhat satisfying answer, but he raised his hand again, asking if the baby could still be born without the waters breaking and so on.

Considering the fact that he only found out a few weeks ago, Grissom had a lot more questions than anyone else in the room for their teacher. He stopped her four or five times during a demonstration to ask his questions, making Sara smile as he suddenly had a swell of paternal pride. She thought after his avoidance of her that he was hoping it was just a mistake, but he seemed more on board then some of the expectant mothers in the room, who had planned their pregnancies.

"What's the risk to the baby if the placenta comes away from the abdominal wall too early?" He asked his next question.

Siobhan glanced around at the other expectant parents, not wanting to scare them with the details, but she was supposed to answer any and all questions that they had. "In some extreme cases of placental abruption, the baby might be stillborn or die shortly after birth. It occurs in one in a hundred pregnancies, so there's nothing to worry about. Just look out for bleeding or pain in your stomach. Get yourself checked over by a doctor if you have any worries about the baby."

After years of working around crime scenes where anything could happen to anyone, it was only natural for him to have concerns like that, but his concerns were starting to make Sara have more concerns of her own. She thought the only thing that she had to worry about was giving birth to the mini human at the end of it all, but now she had a head full of worries about what might happen to them between now and then.

"It's important to take a few breaths between pushes, gain back some energy, before you get to work on the next push. If this is your first baby, this stage may take several hours. Later this week, we'll discuss the best positions to push baby out, along with the types of pain relief on offer and assisted delivery methods." Siobhan finished the class, pointing out the refreshments table to them and the extra little information leaflets to take home with them.

Grissom grabbed one of each leaflet, skim reading through them as Sara grabbed herself some ice cold water after all that information.

"Enjoying yourself?" Sara led him out the doors, while he continued to read.

"Scientia potentia est." The man responded, getting a confused look out of her. "Loosely translated, knowledge is power. The more you know, the less intimidating something will feel. I've never really had the opportunity to learn more about human reproduction. I know insects, but pregnancy and labour in humans completely mystifies me. It's a fascinating subject. Creating new life from our own biology."

"Thank you."

"For what?" He glanced up at her.

"Thank you for being here. For supporting me. And for being you. I really needed you here to support me after a day like today and you didn't let me down. So... thank you." Suppressing a grin, Sara took hold of his hand, walking with him back to her car. It was their second display of public affection and neither one of them felt uncomfortable about it.

This was only the beginning.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this next chapter.**

 **Emotions are running high. In the show we didn't really get to see a lot of Sara's emotional side, so I based this episode on a few of her explosive outbursts rolled into one. With her pregnancy hormones running through her, I thought it fit. I did have her slightly more dramatic with her colleagues at the lab, but I took it out because it didn't seem like Sara.**

 **Thanks so much for all your feedback in the reviews. I enjoy reading every single one of them and they really help me shape the story.**

 **Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I'll try and have another one ready by next weekend.** **If any of you have any suggestions for a baby name, we're entering the second trimester now, so I'd love to hear your ideas. Boy or girl names. Little Baby Grissom has no gender yet :)**

 **Thanks for all of your support so far.**

 **Enjoy your week.**

 **~ Holly**


	9. Next Step

**Chapter Nine - Next Step**

"Not sure what you're looking for, Doctor Robbins ruled her death as a suicide." Leading the way into autopsy, coroner's assistant, David Phillips pulled on a lab coat, checking the records on the clipboard he had in his hands, before he led the older man over to right body.

"Greg's victim, Ms Garner." Grissom reminded him, scratching the stubble beginning to appear on his chin. His mind had been a little preoccupied with other things lately. Not only the big change around at the lab, on top of recovering from his operation, but researching the topic of having a baby and raising a child with a woman he wasn't married to.

Apparently, marriage before baby's was on its way out in today's society, but Grissom fancied himself as a bit of a traditionalist. He read that bringing a baby into the world could make or break a relationship, but he was hoping in his case it would make it. Wording the proposal was the hard part. He didn't want her to think that the only reason he wanted to marry her was because of the baby. But at the same time, he wanted it to symbolise that he would always be there for them both, no matter what.

"Francis Garner. Here she is." David pulled open the door, sliding out the tray for the man behind him to examine her for himself. "I heard that Greg found a journal she kept. Years of suicidal thoughts and feelings. It's a wonder she didn't end up here sooner." He came to his own conclusion, curiously watching the older man. "Is there anything in particular that you're looking for?"

"Henry ran a full tox screen. She was taking pre-natal vitamins. It turns out our victim was pregnant." Grissom bent to examine the victim closer, wondering what would compel someone to end their own life after they found out they were pregnant. "Did Al do a full autopsy?"

"Uh... yeah." David reached for the man's notes. "He did mention the pregnancy. Just a few weeks old by the size. He also mentioned recent signs of sexual trauma from the bruising. He sent a rape kit up to Wendy."

"Thank you, David. Can I get a copy of the autopsy report?" He straightened up, examining the woman's freshly manicured nails, while David made him a copy. "Thank you." He made his way back to the lab upstairs with the report tucked under his arm, watching everyone hard at work.

It was officially his first day back, but he had arrived a little earlier than normal, so he could check on the progress of Catherine's new team. He trusted her leadership a lot more than his own, but he was still concerned about the new setup and how it would affect his former team.

Grissom stopped by the first lab on the right, shoving one hand in his pocket as he listened to Warrick talking to Nick about a fight that broke out between himself and his girlfriend's ex. He almost missed the sounds of their voices during his extended medical leave.

"It's like she wanted us to fight or something. There was me, trying to cool things down between me and this big guy, who looked as though he didn't have a single brain cell in that thick mallet of his and she's trying to egg it on, spurting out all this shit about fights I've been in before. The fact that I have licence to carry a weapon." Warrick continued his tale, still not noticing their former supervisor in the doorway. "Anyway, the valet finally brought the car back, so we didn't have to stand there any longer and this guy grabs my shirt, ready to smack me in the head, when my girl just takes off."

"Oh yeah?" Nick laughed, "What'd the guy do?"

"Nothing, he took off with her, leaving me standing there with my car." Warrick straightened up from the car they were processing, gritting his teeth together as he finally noticed his former supervisor stood in the doorway. "Hey, Grissom. What's up?" He alerted his friend's attention to the man.

"Hey, Gris." The other man quickly climbed out of the car, sealing up the bag of evidence in his hands. "Aren't you a little early to start the late shift, boss?"

"It's technically my first day back." Grissom gave them both a smile, relieved that they were doing so well, but he was also a little disappointed too. If they were still thriving in another environment, then maybe they really didn't need him anymore. "I came by to see how it was going. Where's Catherine?"

"Around somewhere." Warrick shrugged his shoulders together. "She had a meeting with the boss man earlier and she's been interviewing new CSIs to start on swing with us. Slim pickings and no one with any real experience."

"Hate to say it, but I actually miss, Greg." The Texan confessed, setting his evidence bag on the side. "Just a little bit. At least he had experience."

"What are you working on?" Grissom continued his questioning, feeling a bit out of the loop.

"Suspect's car." Warrick motioned towards it. "Looking for trace evidence that our victim was in the car."

"Yeah and the guy was a slob." Nick pointed out their table of evidence. "We've got dozens of food wrappers, half eaten burritos, soda cans and plenty of used condoms. No sign of blood... yet, but we're still lookin'."

"I don't care!" A female voice suddenly shouted through the corridor.

"Good luck." Grissom turned for the door, heading out to see what was going on. He caught a glimpse of a woman storming away, spotting Catherine anxiously combing her fingers through her hair. "Catherine, problem?" He approached her side.

"Oh... hi, Gil." Catherine's lips spread into a smile. "It's nice to see you back in the lab, how's your hearing?"

"Fine. What was that about?"

"A lead that isn't willing to help." Catherine sighed heavily, returning to her office behind her. She dropped back into her seat, looking up at Grissom in her doorway. "I was looking into my missing persons background and I came up with a college paper article." She fished it out from the folder on her desk, handing it over to the man. "My missing girl and this girl, Jenny that just left, started a rape victims support group that was featured in the college paper. I asked Jenny to come in and talk to me about her missing friend. She was fine with it, but then I mentioned the guy that her friend was seeing according to her social media posts and she just freaked out on me."

"Have you looked into the boyfriend?" Grissom gave her a curious look, guessing she had by the scowl on her face. "I just meant, considering this young woman's bad reaction to the news and her involvement with the rape support group, maybe it hit home a little."

"Like the boyfriend was the one who raped her?" Catherine couldn't help but smile, glad to have the man back, even if he wasn't on their shift. "What are you doing here so early anyway? A little eager to get back to work, aren't you?"

"My team has been without a supervisor for a few weeks now, so I've got a lot of work to catch up on. And Conrad texted me, apparently I have an early meeting to attend. I thought while I was here early, I could check up on the new Swing Shift Supervisor." The man shrugged his shoulders together, giving her a smile as she continued to stare at him. "I'm proud of you, Catherine."

"Proud of me? You haven't seen me in action yet. I have a team that doubts me at every turning. We're short staffed. Ecklie won't give us the funding to hire someone who actually has some experience and I haven't seen my daughter all week, so it's not really working out for the best."

"It gets easier." Grissom spoke from experience, turning for the doorway. He watched her busying herself in the mountain of paperwork beginning to pile up on her desk, guessing his probably looked the same about the now. "Hi, Greg." He caught the younger man in the hall. "I heard you're on call today and you managed to close your case already?"

"Yeah, a suicide. I was hoping for a little more action with only three hours of sleep."

"You're back on the case." Grissom handed him the file that was tucked under his arm.

"Huh... why? Doc Robbins ruled it as a suicide." He frowned at the man, wondering what he had done wrong this time.

"It doesn't add up. Did you happen to notice that your victim was pregnant when she allegedly committed suicide? There's also signs of sexual trauma. Recent." He handed his copy of the autopsy report over to Greg. "She also has freshly manicured nails. Someone who's about to end their life, wouldn't spend money on something like that. Describe your crime scene to me."

"Now?" Greg sighed softly, taking a step closer to the man, so they weren't occupying the whole corridor. "The front door had been broken in by the cops. Neighbours called the police late last night about a noise complaint. First officers on scene said that the radio volume was turned all the way up. They turned it off and found our DB in the tub full of her own blood. Paramedics called it, coroner came in and ruled it a suicide from the slashes to her forearms. Victim was..."

"Stop right there." Grissom cut him off, pausing a moment as he took in the details. "The radio was turned all the way up?" He double checked.

"Yeah." He nodded slightly, wondering why it was so important.

"Did you print the radio?" He gave him a curious look, realising he had missed that. "What have I always told you, Greg? Every detail, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem is still a detail. Go back to the scene and print that radio."

"What the hell for?" He complained, feeling as though he was being punished for something. "If you don't think I'm ready to be a CSI, then why did you approve me for the field?"

Grissom sensed the tension in his voice, realising he was feeling betrayed by his absence during their shift change over. He was the bad absent father in this scenario and he deserved every outburst he threw at him.

"If you're going to commit suicide, would you get your nails freshly manicured, put the radio volume all the way up, so everyone can hear and then kill yourself in the bathtub? Forget the fact that this was ruled a suicide for a moment. Your victim was sexually assaulted and pregnant. If this hadn't been ruled a suicide, where would you look next?"

"But the victim was suicidal. Doc Robbins even ruled her death as a suicide. Case closed."

"Your case is not closed, Greg. Prove to me that you can do this job. Print that radio. Find out if she had any men in her life, recent hospital visits or a friend that she talked to. And I need a copy of that journal. Don't make me regret my decision to send you out into the field, Greg." The man cautioned him, turning to make his way towards his office. He stopped in his tracks as he saw a familiar face through the window, quickly straightening the shirt he was wearing, before he stepped inside. "Sara, hi. Is something wrong?"

"No." Sara climbed up from the sofa, presenting him with the coffee mug. "I heard you sneak out early, without your morning coffee. It's your first day back, so I thought you could use it."

"You didn't have to do that. Thank you." The man smiled widely, taking the mug from her hands. He pecked a kiss to her cheek, noticing the tanned leather bag dangling from her arm. He had never seen it before, bringing his attention to the new blouse and the baggy suit pants that looked a lot comfier than her work jeans. "You look nice. Where are you off to?"

"Oh, do you like it?" Sara smoothed out her new comfy blouse, feeling a little embarrassed that it was a maternity top, but at least it fit. "I had my appointment with the shrink earlier. It went a lot better than the last time. Three more sessions then I'm done. Oh and it's my twenty week appointment today. You said you were going to take a long lunch to come with me, remember?" She searched for a sign of recognition on his face, but he just looked confused. "That's okay, I can go by myself if you're busy."

"No, I can go." Grissom couldn't believe he forgot about that. He thought that he marked it down on his calendar, but he hadn't exactly been home in the last three days to check his calendar. Sara was kind enough to let him sneak, Hank in and out of her apartment every night, but he hadn't checked the calendar on his route to the dog biscuits at his place. "Aren't you here a little early for a lunch time appointment... or late." He pointed out the time on his watch. "It's almost two... am."

"I didn't want to mess up my sleeping schedule. I was going to do some shopping. Groceries and stuff. I could probably take Hank for a walk if you want. The appointment isn't until nine am. I got an early one, so I can still sleep during the day. But don't you want me to wish you luck for your first day back?"

"Of course, my dear. I was just concerned." Grissom finally made his way into the office, pausing a moment at the sight of the not so huge pile of paperwork on his desk. He was expecting a lot more, but it was tiny. "You told me you booked the day off, so I didn't think I would see you here." He sat himself down, blinking his eyes a few times as he examined the pile. "Has someone been in my office while I was away?"

"Oh you didn't hear? Sofia thinks of herself as the boss around here. She's taken charge of everything." Sara still didn't like the woman, but at least with her help, her Significant Other wouldn't be stuck in the office for hours on end with paperwork.

"She sat at my desk?" Grissom reached for the lever on his chair, making a quick adjustment to the height. She was clearly a lot taller than him, making him feel like a child sitting beneath his huge desk. "Where's my pen?" He searched for the usual spot, but none of his pens were there.

"Oh, you wouldn't want them anymore. Did you know she chews the tips? Disgusting habit. She was doing it all through our interrogation the other day. It's worse than gum." Sara joined him round the other side of his desk, pulling open the top drawer. She pulled out one his pens that she had stashed there a few weeks ago, giving him a smile. "Well, I better go. Is there anything you want grocery shopping wise?"

"No, thank you. Let me walk you out." He continued with his perfect gentleman routine, still paying for avoiding her for so long.

"Don't worry." Sara shook her head. "You have your first shift to begin. I'll see you later, okay?"

Without even thinking about where they were, Grissom suddenly leant forwards, sealing a quick kiss to her lips.

It wasn't until he pulled back that he remembered they were in the lab, a place full of people trained to notice the smallest details around them, but it appeared that they were safe for now as no one was looking their way in his secluded office.

The two of them exchanged a grin of relief for a moment, before they quickly separated.

"Sorry."

"That was a close one." Sara licked her lips, straightening out the collar to the man's shirt. She brushed her thumb across his cheek, smiling widely as she looked into his eyes. "You know, we might have to tell them sooner rather than later. Catherine and Nick already know that I'm pregnant. They might think it's a bit odd that the baby is calling you Daddy once it's here."

"Nick knows? I thought it was just Catherine who knew." He looked at her surprised. "Did they know before me?"

Sara sucked in a sharp breath, gritting her teeth together. "I'm sorry, I didn't even mean to tell them. Catherine came to her own conclusions based on my symptoms at a crime scene and Nick figured it out for himself, after I threw up from the scent of the cleaning products out on a scene. They are CSIs, Gil. What do you expect? It's not fair to keep them in the dark."

"We'll tell them... eventually. I just don't think that it's really any of their business at the moment. They don't need to know about something we're just trying to get used to ourselves." He led her towards the door, pausing a moment behind it. "Did you say... Daddy?" He used the same term.

"Yeah." She smiled at the man. "Do you feel a swell of paternal pride?"

"A little." The man beamed a smile back at her, pulling the door open for her. "We'll tell them before the baby arrives. We'll have to, because I want to be there for you both, without having to worry that someone might find out."

"Thank you."

"Be careful driving. I won't miss our appointment, I promise."

Just when things between them were starting to look up, Sara stepped out the door, bumping into the dominatrix that was sure to tear them apart. She gave the woman an awkward smile, anxiously biting her bottom lip as the woman stepped straight into her Significant Other's office with her slutty makeup, low cut evening gown and the sway of her womanly hips.

"Lady Heather, hello." The man immediately greeted her, pleasant as always.

"Mr Grissom, I hope you don't mind me stopping by. I heard that you've been unwell." Lady Heather closed the door to his office, shutting Sara outside in the hallway. She tried to listen in to hear what they were saying, but the office really was completely soundproof. She watched her Significant Other's expression as the other woman approached him, wishing he wasn't so friendly with everyone, especially women.

Sara really didn't want to be that jealous kind of woman, but she couldn't help it when the other woman looked like her.

"Sara." Yet another woman appeared that she couldn't stand, presenting her with a wide smile. "I didn't think you were coming in today."

"Officially, I'm not really here. Just checking in with the boss." Sara backed away from Sofia, motioning towards the elevator. "I'm on my way out of here now."

"Look, Sara," Sofia stopped her from leaving so soon. She looked a little anxious, she even tucked her long blonde hair behind both of her ears, something she always seemed to do in the presence of the lab director, Ecklie. "This is stupid. We have to work together. I know neither of us chose this. The last thing I was expecting was a demotion. Just like I know the last thing you were expecting was your team to be broken up like this."

"I really have to get going."

"Sara, it took me a long time to get where I was." Sofia tried to level with her. "Being demoted, joining your team, investigating your supervisor... it wasn't my choice. None of it was. I feel like I'm starting from scratch. I worked my ass off every day for that promotion to Day Shift Supervisor and it was snatched away in an instant. Now, I miss my job. I miss being able to sleep at night. I miss my colleagues, but most of all... I miss..."

Sara anxiously bit her bottom lip, feeling a little bad for giving her such a hard time. "What?"

"I miss being trusted." Sofia opened up to her. "We have to learn to get along, not just for the sake of the job, but for the sake of our victims. Without trust in a job like this, we have nothing. We have to be there to watch each other's backs. I heard on good authority that you're a great CSI to work with, but so far, you've only been working against me. I'm not in a competition with you, Sara. I'm a part of the team and if you let me, I want to be your friend. Maybe we can go out for a drink sometime... break the ice?"

"Oh, I can't." Sara shook her head, placing her hand on her stomach. She didn't want Sofia to think that she was being rude, so she decided to give her a little more information. "Drink, I mean. I can't drink... because I'm pregnant." She confessed, guessing she must trust her already if she felt comfortable enough to tell her something like that.

Sofia forced a surprised look in the direction of the other woman, trying to pretend that she hadn't already heard that little piece of information from the lab director. "Wow... pregnant. That's great. How... how are you going to work when it comes?"

"I... haven't really figured that one out yet." Sara glanced down at her stomach, realising that her whole life was about to change. She knew that parts of it would change with the addition of a baby, but she didn't realise how much until now.

Later at the grocery store, Sara tried to decide what kind of mother she was going to be. She saw a haggard looking woman in the frozen food section, cradling a tiny infant against her chest as she tried to find herself something to eat. She looked as though she devoted all of her time to the screaming brat. Her figure certainly showed that.

Sara gave the woman an awkward smile as she made her way around her, catching a glimpse of the adorable baby's features. She never found them cute before, but this baby had a cute little button nose and tiny little fingers, curling softly against their mother's shoulder. She could hear it's soft little grunts of breath as she got closer, feeling her heart flutter a little.

Why did she feel anything at all for the little parasite?

She quite often fell head over heels in love with a tiny kitten or a puppy, but a human baby? What was happening to her?

Sara quickly grabbed the bag of frozen peas that she needed, before she hurried away. She grabbed a few things from her Significant Other's side of the list, avoiding the arguing couple in the centre of the bakery aisle. She didn't want to pry, but she overheard something about him never being there for her, staying out all night, never picking up his things, making Sara relieved that she and her other half didn't really live together.

In the next aisle over, she encountered a double stroller, complete with snoozing toddlers. A pigtailed little girl on the left side with a doll tucked under her arm and a shabby blonde haired little boy the other side, sucking his little thumb as he snoozed.

Sara quickly turned the other way, bumping into a shopping cart that had a young child sat in the seat, clutching the shopping list in their hands for their mother. She tried to get away from them in the next aisle, rolling her eyes as a dozen more appeared in their place.

It appeared that seven thirty am was the time for mothers to shop with their young. She thought it would be much later considering the fact that they were supposed to sleep longer than adults, or so she had been told, but the place was completely packed with them.

"Rebecca. Rebecca. You come back here now." A woman in her late forties rushed past Sara, hurrying after the toddling little girl. She snatched up her little arm from her side, leaning down to her level. "I told you not to run off. Now you have to sit in the cart."

"No... no... no." The toddler protested, but her mother easily lifted her from the ground, taking her back to their shopping cart. She plopped her down in the seat, ignoring her screaming protests as she tried to continue with her shopping trip.

Sara tried not to stare at the screaming child and the very tired looking mother, but it was hard not to with all the noise the little girl was making. She guessed that just about everyone in the store could hear her screams, making her worry that the same thing could happen to her with her own child one day, completely mortifying her.

* * *

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day." Sara struggled not to laugh, looking at the domestic goddess in front of her, complete with bright yellow scrubbing gloves and tattered jeans. "Catherine does still live here, right?" She thought that a visit with a real working mother would help put her more at ease, but she had never seen Catherine in this light before. She looked very domestic. A look she didn't think that Catherine was capable of.

"Yes." Catherine snapped off the gloves, ushering her inside. "I was just giving the kitchen a clean. It's been ages since I've been able to do it myself." She led her through to the kitchen, showing off her sparkling counter tops. "Aren't you on shift?"

"No, I have an appointment later. With the doctor."

"Oh." Catherine cleared away the pots and pans she had been scrubbing, motioning for Sara to take a seat at the counter. "Are you worried?"

"Not so much about the appointment." Sara shook her head, watching Catherine quickly organising the coffee mugs into the cupboard, before she joined her around the counter. "I'm not... entirely sure if I can do this. I feel a little... well, completely overwhelmed and I thought you could help."

"You're changing your mind again?" Catherine looked at her confused. "It's a baby, Sara. You can't change your mind every five minutes. It's going to be completely dependent on your for everything."

"I'm not changing my mind. I'm keeping the baby. I'm just... not sure that I can do this. The completely dependent part especially." The woman placed her hand on her stomach, wishing it was easier to make decisions for. "It's a part of me and a part of Gil and it's already alive. I can feel it move... kick... that's not the part that I can't do. It's... raising it. Let's face it, I'm not exactly mother material. You guys always joke about leaving me with kids on the job. Remember that little girl, Brenda? I had no idea how to talk to her, what to say..."

"She trusted you though. She trusted you more than the trained professional." Catherine reminded her. "It's never easy trying to talk to a child that's been through a situation like that. But you made Brenda trust you, just by being there for her." She took hold of the other woman's hand, trying to assure her, "Trust me when I say it's different with your own child. Your baby will be a part of you and Gil. It won't be a child involved in some awful murder case. You get a clean slate."

"I'm not really a baby person."

"Neither was I. I used to look down at those women who said their life wasn't complete without children. Women who only saw themselves as baby factories, nothing more. I thought that I would never have children. When I was pregnant with Lindsey, I planned to have an abortion. I filled out the form, put on the gown, but when I made it to that back room with all the sterile equipment and the doctor, I couldn't let them do something like that to something that I created."

"Does Lindsey know?"

"God, no." Catherine shook her head. "She never has to know either. It doesn't make you a bad person for thinking that, Sara. Your baby will never hold it against you. To your baby, you'll be a God. Mom is the all knowing, powerful one to a child."

"And now you have Lindsey, your life is complete?" She gave her a curious look.

"Yeah, but not just because of Lindsey. I don't regret keeping her, but my life was already pretty complete before her. It just got a little better after. There's no way I'm ever having anymore. One is enough." Catherine smiled at the woman, before she motioned over her shoulder to the kettle. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm trying to cut back on coffee."

"Sara, you'll be fine." Catherine tried to assure her, giving her a warm smile. "It's not easy, but you'll get through it. If you think pregnancy is amazing, wait until you hold your baby for the first time. Gil seems more on board now. There's no way he would let you go through something like this alone. Once this baby arrives, I guarantee he'll want to be with you every second."

"Was Eddie?" Sara queried, guessing it was a raw subject from the expression on the woman's face. "Sorry."

"It's okay. He loves Lindsey. He treats her like a princess. He wasn't a fan of baby's either. I don't think he really changed her diapers or gave her a midnight feed, but as soon as she was three or four maybe, he really started to get involved. Gil isn't like that though." She tapped the back of Sara's hand, giving her a reassuring smile. "Sara, you can do this. You just have to have a little more faith in yourself. You're a strong woman. You're going to make an amazing mother. And we're all here for you." She quickly added. "You don't have to go through this alone."

* * *

"Bobby, do you have something for me?" Grissom hoped. He didn't have long left before he was expected to join Sara for her appointment with the doctor, and he still hadn't closed his case.

"Actually, yeah." The man glanced up from his desk, retrieving the file for him. "The bullet from your victim didn't match the bullet from your suspect's gun. But... a bullet from your suspect's gun matched a bullet from a crime scene that, CSI Stokes worked a few weeks ago. Perfect match."

"What was the case?" Grissom took the file from his hands, forgetting that he was pressed for time as his brain kicked back into gear.

"Started out as a home invasion, but they dropped the charges for some reason. Stokes ruled it an accidental discharge. You'll have to ask him the details. At least you can book your suspect for something. Oh and Stokes never found the gun that was fired. Your bullet matched the bullet that the doctors pulled out at the hospital."

"Thank you, Bobby." He examined the case details for himself a moment, slowly making his way towards the lab where, Warrick and Nick had been working earlier. He expected to find them still hard at work, but the lab was completely empty. He turned around to search the rest of the lab for them, before he reached for his phone to give them a call.

It wasn't until he was about to press dial on Nick's name that he remembered that they didn't work the same shift as him anymore.

"Are you alright there, boss?" Sofia noticed him staring at his phone. He took a moment to look up, before he registered the fact that she was even there. "I wondered where you got to. We're needed down in interrogation."

"I... just need a moment." Grissom breezed past her, noticing how empty his lab was as he approached the front desk. "Judy... hi," He smiled at the receptionist. "Do you know when Nicky went home?"

"Um... yes, Mr Stokes, he clocked out just a few minutes ago. I think he had an early meeting with the lab director. There he is now." Judy straightened up, pointing him towards the elevator doors as the Texan stepped out.

"Thank you. Nick, what did Ecklie want to see you about?" Grissom approached him, worrying about what he was going to do next to screw things up at the lab.

"Uh... Catherine, she put my name down for a forensic conference in California. Apparently, Ecklie is goin' to the same one. He gave me some notes for my speech." The man sighed heavily, tucking the notes he had given him under his arm. "There's no way I can back out now."

Grissom knew that Nick and Ecklie didn't exactly get along at the best of times, making him more curious about Ecklie's intentions with his team at the lab.

"Did you need me for somethin'?" Nick gave the man a curious look.

"Yes, actually. This case that you worked a few weeks ago." He handed the file over to him to refresh his memory of the case. "Tell me the details." Grissom tried to hurry him along.

"Oh, I remember this case." Nick recognised the crime scene pictures. "Home owner called in a burglary in progress. He had a gunshot wound to his leg when the police rolled up. When I arrived, they were takin' him away in an ambulance. The back door was the point of entry. I didn't get any prints and nothin' was taken. When I went to talk to the guy up the hospital, he had a visitor with him and he suddenly changed his statement. He said he was cleanin' his guns and one of them accidentally went off. Friggin' idiot."

"You got the bullet from his leg?" Grissom gave him a curious look.

"Yeah, his surgeon gave it to me, but by then the case was closed, so I didn't have a reason to check his guns in the house. Bobby logged it."

"I know." He nodded, scratching his chin a moment. "Come with me, Nick. I need you to look at a suspect. It'll just take a minute." Grissom ushered him back inside the elevator, taking it down to the ground floor. He led the way through the busy police station towards the interrogation rooms, where Sofia Curtis was still waiting for him. "Sofia, I just got the results back from, Bobby. The bullet we pulled from our victim didn't match our suspects gun, but a bullet from his gun matched a crime scene that Nick worked a few weeks ago."

"Hi, Nick." Sofia warmly greeted him, pausing for a moment to look into the Texan's gorgeous eyes. "So, where does that leave our case?" She turned her attention back to the case.

"Our victim was shot and killed with a single bullet to the chest. Several witnesses pinned this guy as the suspect, but the bullet from his gun matched a bullet from your crime scene, not ours." Grissom brought his CSI up to the window, pointing out the suspect to him. "Do you recognise him, Nicky?"

Nick peered in through the gaps in the blinds, waiting for the man to turn his head, before he gave his former supervisor a nod. "Yeah. Yeah, that's the guy who visited my vic in the hospital." He recognised him straight away. "My vic changed his story, right after this guy left."

"Congratulations, Nicky my boy." He tapped him on the shoulder. "You're back on the case. Work with Sofia on this one, I've gotta go."

"But uh... Grissom... I'm off shift." Nick reminded him. "And I don't work your shift anymore. Catherine's my super."

"Well then, you're on loan out. Catherine will approve it. Sofia will fill you in. I have to go." Grissom followed the sound of familiar laughter towards Captain Brass' office, finding his significant other inside. He watched her talking to him for a moment, before she spotted him in the doorway.

"Thank you, Jim. I'll see you tomorrow." She grabbed her bag, joining the other man at the door. "Hi, how's the case going?" She whispered, hoping that they could leave now.

"I think... I'm just about finished." He checked his watch to make sure he was on time for his long lunch. "Nick's taking over. He's going to work the rest of my case with Sofia."

"Isn't he working swing shift with Catherine?" She gave him a curious look.

"It tangles with a case he worked a few weeks ago. Catherine will approve it."

"But will Ecklie?"

Grissom shrugged his shoulders together. "He's already taken my team away from me. What else can he do? My priority is my victim, not lab politics." He pointed out to her. "I'll meet you out by the car. I just have to get my keys from the office." Grissom watched her walking away, turning to Brass in his office. "Hey, Jim. You got a sec?"

"Yeah, I've got a minute." He glanced up from his desk. "Rocking the boat with the new lab director? That doesn't sound good."

"Tell me about it." Grissom sighed, trying to remember what he needed. "Oh... I need a list of all the lab call outs from dispatch. Judy has brought it to my attention that Ecklie can't function without them."

Brass couldn't help but smile, glad he didn't have his job anymore. "Sure, when do you need them by?"

"As soon as possible alright for you? Sofia's been filling in for me on the paperwork front, but I'm still back logged..." Grissom glanced over his shoulder as he heard some commotion in the station, moving aside so Brass could rush past him to deal with the situation. He hung back until he heard one of the deputy's calling out the name 'Sidle', prompting him to move closer to get a better look.

Grissom immediately felt his heart skip a beat as he saw the man holding what looked like a standard, but very sharp kitchen knife to his significant other's throat.

"Stay back, Gil." Brass ordered him. "Deputy Miles." He called the suspect by name. "Why don't you just put that knife down, so we can talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about." The deputy snapped, holding the knife closer to Sara's throat. "This bitch ruined my career. I have nothing, because of what she did. I had a house. A wife. Kids. A job. Now I have nothing. And it's all her fault."

"Yeah, because you're a racist murdering pig." Sara grunted, trying to hold his arm back as the knife pinched her skin.

"Sara." Brass hissed at her.

She really wasn't helping with the situation. They were supposed to diffuse a suspect, not help to set them off. He knew how these things turned out if they went bad, so he wanted to do everything he could to help calm him down.

Slowly approaching the suspect, Brass positioned his arms away from his body, so the suspect could see that he wasn't armed. He knew the man, so he knew he could talk him out of this, but that knife was still dangerously close to Sara's throat.

"C'mon, Bill. Put the knife down." He motioned his attention towards the room full of his former colleagues, ready to un-holster their weapons at a moment's notice. "You know how this will turn out if you don't cooperate."

"Not until this bitch gets what's coming to her." Deputy Bill Miles shook his head.

"C'mon Bill, help us out here."

"Bill is it?"

Grissom piped in, ignoring the Captain's hold order as he was more invested in her safety than anyone else in the entire station. He couldn't just stand by and watch as this maniac held the mother of his unborn child hostage. He had to do something and he was prepared to jeopardise his own safety for hers, unlike everyone else in the room.

"If you feel as though you were wrongfully mistreated in any way, then that's my fault. I'm CSI Sidle's supervisor." He glanced around the room at the deputies with their hands on their gun holsters, ready to fire at a moment's notice. "Please, I don't want any of these men to have to fire their weapon at a fellow office." He took a few steps closer to the man.

"I wonna see the other one." Deputy Miles demanded, taking a step back with Sara as the man got too close. He glanced over his shoulder at the officers behind them, backing himself up into the wall near the desk, so they couldn't sneak up on him.

"Other one?" Grissom gave him a confused look.

"The black one." The man barked at him as if he should have known. "Him and this bitch framed me."

"CSI Brown." Brass filled in the blank.

"Warrick. We'll get him down here, but he won't be able to help you anymore then I can, unless you let Sara go. Just put the knife down..." Grissom continued his cautious approach, keeping his eyes on Sara's. "Let Sara Sidle go, then we can review your case. Think if you were in our position, Bill. You wouldn't want to negotiate with someone holding one of your own hostage, would you?" He tried to reason with him.

"C'mon Bill, you know he's right." Brass motioned a quick signal to his deputies, getting them into position. "Let Sara go. Drop the knife and we can talk about this. Karen wouldn't want this. Think about your kids, Bill. Do you want them to hear about their father on the news?"

Feeling the knife on her throat loosening a little, Sara took her chance to elbow her assailant in the gut.

The force was enough to shock him, but not enough to get away.

Bill reversed their positions, forcing Sara up against the wall. He pulled back the knife, aiming for her stomach.

Sara felt a white hot pain, before a loud bang sent them toppling to the ground.

Grissom ran straight for them, almost taking a bullet that was meant for the suspect in the process. He shoved the wounded man away from the love of his life, seeing blood in her shaky hands. Her new blouse was splattered with blood, but he couldn't see where it was coming from.

She had been stabbed.

He couldn't believe that something so precious had been taken away from in an instant, something he didn't even realise that he wanted.

"Sara..." He brushed his hand across the blood splatter on her stomach, realising that it was just splatter. She was only bleeding from her hand. "How?" He lifted his gaze, relieved to see that light in her eyes again.

"I grabbed the knife." Sara held out her trembling hand to him. She could barely feel her fingers from the gash in her palm, but at least the pain went no further than her hand. "Ow..." She flinched as the man tried to examine it.

"Sorry, it's deep." He glanced up as an officer finally kicked away the knife from the suspect, before he leant down to check for a pulse.

"Gil, the suspect was not cleared." Brass barked at him.

"Here. Lean on me." Helping her to her feet, Grissom clutched her close to his side, leading her away from the commotion of deputies. He sat her down in Brass' office, pulling his handkerchief from his pocket to place over her bleeding hand. He double checked her for anymore injuries, relieved that she managed to escape with just a cut her palm, rather than a knife wound to her stomach.

"Gil, what the hell was that?" Brass shouted from the doorway. "There's a procedure for a reason."

"Yeah. Where was your procedure when an armed suspect grabbed one of my CSIs, Jim?" He barked back at him. He had a tone of anger in his voice that Sara had never heard before. It was almost frightening to hear, but she smiled as he was just trying to protect her. "He almost stabbed her in full view of your so called deputies. They weren't going to lift a finger, just because he happened to be a fellow officer. So I had to!"

"What's your side of it, Sidle?" Brass turned towards her.

"He just grabbed me." She defended herself, flinching as her partner wiped away the blood from her wound. It went deep, but she was just relieved that she managed to grab it before it went anywhere near her baby. "We have an appointment to keep."

"Honey, this might need stitches." Grissom kept hold of her hand, not caring who saw them.

"Sara, are you okay?" Nick pushed past the Captain in the doorway, taking a seat the other side of her. "Did he get you?" He examined the cut for himself, noticing the intimacy between his supervisor and his pseudo sister.

"Sara, we have to take you to the hospital. There's a lot of blood and it's deep. You could have nerve damage or something. I'll drive you." Grissom insisted, helping her to her feet. "We have to get you checked out. The baby..."

"You know about the baby?" Nick gave him a curious look, before he noted the look in Sara's eyes. "It's you." He figured it all out, looking at his supervisor in front of him. "You're the father."

"Wait, Sara's pregnant?" Brass caught onto what they were saying. "And Gil's the father. When did all this happen?" He looked round at them confused.

"Sara, I came as soon as I heard." Greg hurried into the office, after fighting his way through the crowd forming outside. "What happened?"

"Apparently she's pregnant and Gil's the father." The Captain blurted it out.

"Okay." Sara changed her mind. "We should go." She clutched her partner's hand as though it was a life source, wishing she could have told them on her own terms, but it was too late now. They all knew and with the way gossip spread in this place, everyone would know by the end of the day.

"Are you alright to walk?" Grissom supported her out the door.

"It's my hand. It's just my hand." Sara looked over at the deputy on the floor, watching them trying to plug the bullet hole in his chest, long enough for an ambulance to arrive. She placed her other hand on her stomach, fearing that it could have been so much worse if she hadn't grabbed it in time.

Her baby was safe, that's all that mattered to her.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for all your reviews so far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully not too angsty for you. I think this is the third or fourth version of this chapter. I couldn't decide on an ending to it. I think (fingers crossed) this is the best version.** **At the moment, there's 21 planned chapters to this story, so plenty more to come.**

 **Please let me know what you thought. I'd love to hear from you.**

 **~ Holly**


	10. Dwelling

**Chapter Ten - Dwelling**

"It was only a cut to my hand, Gil. It's not a big deal. Stop fussing. You don't have to check on me every five minutes. Honestly, I'm fine."

After five days of experiencing her significant other's obsessive, over protective side, Sara was starting to get used to the frequent phone calls and drop by visits at her apartment, but it was starting to get a bit much at work. She didn't want any special treatment from her supervisor, especially now that everyone knew about them.

"Look, it doesn't even sting anymore." She showed him the evidence as proof, holding her hand up to him. The truth was that it did still sting. A lot. It hurt when she moved her fingers, straightened her hand or turned her wrist, but she wasn't about to tell him that. She couldn't even tell the department counsellor that and she didn't really care about that woman's feelings. "I really am fine, Gil. So c'mon, what have you got for me?"

"Greg's victim, the one found in the crawlspace of the house scheduled for demolition, we just got an ID." Grissom reluctantly got on with the details, handing her the file from his hands. He pulled it back as she went to grab for it, holding the information hostage from her for just a moment longer. "Ecklie wants to speak to us. Demanded rather than requested. He insisted that he speak with us today. Separately. About us."

"Word finally reached him?" Sara thought it would be quicker than that, but then she remembered that the older man didn't like to listen to gossip.

"Yes, and he's angry. More so than usual. I only just got away from him." He gave her the file. "If it comes down to it, I think I should be the one to switch shifts."

"You can't do that." She shook her head. "I don't want to be the one to break up the team. What's left of it anyway. I told you that. Graveyard shift wouldn't be the same without you running it and I don't think the guys would ever forgive me. Besides, all the other shifts have a supervisor and assistant supervisor already, Ecklie would never allow it and you're not exactly in his good graces at the moment. With a child on the way, I could use some more daylight in my life. I don't even know how long I'm going to be off once it's here."

"I think you get six months maternity leave."

"Yeah but..." Sara opened the folder in her hands, looking at the driver's licence that they found for their victim. "I don't know if I want to take time off to be with the baby. I don't know if I'll even like spending time with it. Apparently, it's going to need feeding every two hours or so, even during the night, and I don't know how I feel about leaving my baby with a stranger for a few hours, while I go back to work. Is this right?" She motioned towards the information she had been given.

"To the best of my knowledge." He nodded, trying to understand what she was getting at. "You don't want to spend time with the baby, but you don't want to leave it with a stranger? What are you planning on doing with it then?"

"I literally have no idea." Sara smiled, shaking her head at him. "I'm sorry. I know, but it's a little complicated to figure out at the moment. It's not even here yet and it's already turning my whole life upside down. I'll figure it out. We still have time."

"We'll figure it out." He corrected her, reminding her that they were in this together. He was still waiting for the right moment to propose the prospect of marriage to her, but it still didn't feel right.

"Are you sure about this match?" She held out the file to him, trying to change the subject.

"DNA was a match. She was reported missing three years ago, right around the time the previous owners moved out. If you want to take time off when the baby is born, I wouldn't mind. I actually had a thought about that the other day." Grissom reached into his shirt pocket, pulling a key out, phase one of his proposal. "I made this for you."

"What is it?" She glanced at the shiny object in his hand.

"It's a key... to my place. I thought that you..."

"A key?" Sara took it from his hand, brushing her thumb across it's shiny surface.

A key like this could mean so many things.

While the relationship she had with the man was everything she had ever dreamed of and a few things that she had never dreamed of, were they really in that stage of their relationship so soon. It was all so confusing and fast, but then she remembered the baby rapidly growing in her belly, speeding things along. This stage was happening whether she liked it or not, she just wasn't sure that she was ready for it.

"What does it mean?" She held onto it tightly, looking into his eyes.

"It's a key, Sara. It fits a lock. This particular key fits the lock to my apartment, so you can let yourself in if I'm not home." His lips spread into a smile as he studied the look of confusion in her eyes. He had been planning phase one of his proposal for the past few weeks. He didn't plan on a negative reaction to it. "It doesn't mean that you have to move in with me... not right away, not if you don't want to. But you've been at my place three out of the five days this week, while we weren't working, so I figured... if it's too complicated, I can take it back." He reached out for the key, but Sara held it back.

"I'll take it." Sara closed her fingers around the key, clutching it tightly in her palm. "About the moving in thing, as much as I want to... the thing is that I grew up never having a fixed address. I was bounced around from foster home to foster home, between more foster parents then I can remember. I've never been too keen on moving. Why do you think I don't want to move away from my screaming neighbour? When I was a kid and they told me that I was being moved to a new foster home for what felt like the hundredth time, I used to throw a fit. I'd toss the furniture around, break things, refuse to come out of my room. They physically had to drag me out of the houses a few times."

Grissom watched her fingers turning white as she clutched the key a little tighter, giving her a smile.

"Sara, I want you to move in with me because you want to. If you're not ready, that's fine by me. I wouldn't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. It's just a key, my dear." He smiled widely at the woman he adored, turning for the door. "Oh and what I need from you, for the case, is any information you can find on our victim while she was alive. She was reported missing by her sister three years ago, so there should have been an investigation already."

"I'll get right on it." Sara pocketed the key, giving the man a wide smile as he left.

The man made it halfway down the hall, before he was stopped by Sofia. She couldn't see what she was saying to the man, but the two of them disappeared into the elevator a moment later, making the key in her pocket suddenly feel a heavier burden.

"Hey, Sara." A friendly face stepped into the lab, greeting her with a hug. She was worried that the old team would never speak to her again after they found out about her and their favourite supervisor, but Nick held her as though their bond would never be broken.

"Swing shift running late, Nicky? You should be home sleeping by now." She pulled back, holding her hand out of harm's way as her fingers started to throb.

"Yeah, I know. Got stuck workin' a double with Warrick." The man glanced at her hand, but he decided against asking her if she was okay, since she had been hearing that a lot lately. "Catherine had to leave early, some school thing with Lindsey. Hey, have you seen, Gris?"

"You just missed him. He took the elevator with Sofia." Sara pointed towards the elevator. "What do you need him for?"

"Looks like our case has led in the direction of the S&M world. Lady Heather's to be exact."

Sara immediately sighed, lowering her hand to the table. "What's that got to do with Grissom? It's not like he's a frequent visitor or anything. Shouldn't you go straight to the source?"

"Hey, I'm sorry." Nick raised his hands either side of him. "We tried to talk to her ourselves, but she said she won't deal with us without her friend, Grissom there. Don't shoot the messenger. That baby bump suits you by the way." He changed the subject, giving her a smile as he turned for the door. "Looks like you have the Mommy gene after all, Sara."

"Ugh... don't say that." Sara felt a shiver running down her spine.

"Hey did you hear, Deputy Miles is finally in recovery. He's bein' transferred to a prison hospital by the end of the day, where he'll remain until his court date." Nick thought she could use some good news. "They never should have let him out on bail in the first place."

"Thank you... Nicky." She had enough of talking about the man in her shrink sessions, she didn't need to hear about him at work. She waved the man off, trying to get stuck in with some work, but with the constant pain in her hand, he was all she could think about.

Ditching her work for a moment, Sara pulled the door to the lab open with her good hand, giving the man outside a smile. She hadn't seen or heard from him in days, realising how much she hurt him now that they were face to face.

"Hi, Greg." She spoke softly, cradling her sore hand against her chest. "I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you."

"You could have trusted me." Her pseudo younger brother backed away from her.

"I do trust you." Sara tried to assure him, seeing the hurt written all over his face. "Greg, it's really hard to trust someone else with something that you're in denial about yourself. If I had it my way, I wouldn't have told anyone. Not even the father, but this kid is taking over my whole life. Please Greg," She stepped in front of him, blocking his escape. "My life has been turned completely upside down already. I can't lose another part of my life. You're a part of my family. And I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you."

Greg pursed his lips together for a moment, thinking over his decision, before he gave out a soft sigh. "You know I can never stay mad at you, Sara."

"Thank you." Leaning forwards, Sara gave the younger man a quick hug, before she noticed Ecklie over his shoulder. "Great, that's all I need. I gotta go. I'll find you later, we can go out to breakfast or something."

"Are you sure you won't be too busy for me with your new family?"

"I will always have time for you, Greg."

"Are you sure that the father to be really wants to be there for you?" He continued with his line of questioning.

"He wanted to be with me before the baby came between us, Greg. I know that we didn't actually get a whole lot of time for it to just be the two of us... but we've known each other for years. Trust me on this, his intentions are good." She tried to assure her younger brother. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. For the record, I'm only four months gone. I would have told you eventually. With Warrick and Nick gone, you're the only family I have left on this shift."

Greg managed a slight smile, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "What are you going to do once it gets here?"

Sara smiled at the man, shrugging her shoulders together as a response. "I really don't know... yet. It's not that easy to figure out. This kid isn't even here yet. I have no idea what they're going to be like or if I would be any good with them."

"I think you will. I have to go." Greg motioned over his shoulder, taking a step away from her. He stopped as he saw the look in her eyes, taking a small step closer towards her. "You've always been there for me, Sara. Sometimes without me even asking for your help. You've been like the big sister I never had, but always wanted. You're exactly the kind of person who would be great with a kid. If there's anything I can do you for you, I'll always be here for you. But I really think that you're going to make an amazing mother."

"Thank you, Greg. That really means a lot." She smiled at him, relieved that he didn't go into a complete avoidance of her over this. She made a beeline for the ladies room before Ecklie caught sight of her, taking ten extra minutes to pee with her sore hand. It was worth the pain in her mind.

Without it, she would have lost her baby.

* * *

"Thank you, Jim. I'll let Sofia know." Grissom waved to the man, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Hey, Gris." Warrick caught up to the man outside the Captain's office, handing him the file from his hands. "Nick and I have hit a dead end in our case. Our vic was found dead in the alley behind this club. Her girlfriends told me she was there with a client. She usually works the S&M gig over at Lady Heather's sex club, but she won't deal with me. I was hoping you could help us out."

"Fetish club. Where's Catherine?" Grissom queried, flipping through the file in his hands.

"School thing with Lindsey. We got stuck working a double. More sex club drama. Ever notice how the only legal sex club for miles always gives us the most business?"

"It's a fetish club, not a sex club, that's what makes it legal, Warrick." Grissom corrected him again, looking over the case details for himself. "You didn't manage to get a name for the client from this other club she was found outside of?"

"Not without a warrant. Private guest list and the Judge said no chance in hell to the warrant. I'm guessing he's a regular there too and he doesn't want it to get out. There's a fine line between legal and illegal in those places if you ask me. I couldn't find anything on her phone or her diary. It seems to be all in code." He showed him the copies in the file he had handed him. "So we went to Lady Heather herself and she wouldn't cooperate... not without you there."

"She asked for me specifically?" Grissom glanced up at him, catching a glimpse of a grin on his lips. "Okay, I'll go and talk to her. What was your victim's cause of death?"

"Doc Robbins said she overdosed on insulin. But she's not a diabetic."

"Insulin?" The man felt a tremble running down his spine. He remembered something that Lady Heather had told him about her own illness, standing completely still as he tried to block the thought that she could do something like this from his mind.

"I see Sara's starting to show now." He didn't normally like to talk personal business with his supervisor, especially his former one, but he thought he should after the gossip continued to spread around the lab.

"Show?" Everyone else was too nervous to even mention their relationship, let alone the pregnancy, so the statement stunned the man a little.

"Yeah, her pregnancy. The baby bump. I saw her earlier. She's really starting to show. Do you have a due date for your baby yet?"

"What are you fishing for, Warrick?"

"I was just... taking an interest." The man defended himself, anxiously scratching his head as he tried to change the subject. "Should I come with you to this place?"

"I'll go alone." Grissom didn't fancy the company at the moment, heading straight to his office for his coat and car keys. He quickly checked on Sara on his way out, realising she really was showing a little. It wasn't overly noticeable with the loose blouse she was wearing, but it made him a little more excited as the baby was really starting to grow now. He got to take his first look at the baby a few days ago, watching it's every tiny movement on the monitor and getting to listen to its heart pounding away.

It was an unbelievable experience, but the most amazing one at the same time.

"Good evening, Mr Grissom." Lady Heather sauntered her way down the stairs towards him, greeting the man with her usual warm smile. "It's lovely to see you again."

"Shame it's not under better circumstances." He opened the file he had tucked under his arm, showing her the picture of Warrick's victim. "Do you know this woman?"

"Like I told your other CSIs that came here earlier, yes I know her well. She's very experienced. I often allowed her to see clients privately, because she was careful and brought in a lot of business. I don't know who could have done this to her though. It seems that my girls are the target for a lot of violent crimes that pass through your office at the moment. So, is this a strictly business visit?"

"Afraid so," He kept his distance from her. "Why didn't you cooperate with my CSIs who came here earlier?" He knew they weren't really his CSIs anymore, but in his heart, they would always be his team.

"They were rude." Lady Heather placed her hands on her hips, sensing some tension between them. "I'm sorry, but have I done something to offend you?"

"You've always cooperated with our investigations before, what makes this one different?"

"I told you that your CSIs were rude. It's not me that's acting different." She reached for his hand before he could take another step away from her, brushing her fingertips across the creases in his skin. "You think that by being here with me, you're betraying your love for another?"

"I didn't know you were psychic, Lady Heather."

"I don't need to be psychic to see the look in your eyes, Mr Grissom. It's written all over your face. Betrayal." Lady Heather kept her eyes on his for the longest moment, sending a chill down his spine. "You're afraid that by being here, giving into your deepest desires, you're betraying a loved one. Your other outlet."

Grissom removed his hand from hers, replacing it to his pocket. "My CSIs were just trying to do their job. They're investigating a murder of one of your girls. As crime scene investigators, it's our job to give a voice to the victims who have none. A delay like this in our investigation hurts our victims. This is a murder we're talking about. A woman is dead and you're delaying because you want to tell me my own business?"

"I meant no harm or offense to you or your CSIs, Mr Grissom. Please, feel free to look around... again, but I don't know how it will help your investigation. She was off site with a private client, which had nothing to do with this place." Lady Heather defended herself, seeing the look in his eyes. "I protect my girls in here. I can keep them safe with their clients. I can't protect them off site. The world outside doesn't tolerate the world we have in here."

"You consider yourself separate from the rest of the world?"

Lady Heather sighed softly, folding her arms across her chest. "Is there something that you would like to ask me, Gil?"

Grissom gulped on the lump in his throat, finding it hard to believe, but he trusted evidence more than he did people. Instead of asking her directly, he decided to stall a little to try and make up his own mind. "Did Tanya have a typical cliental?"

"Lately, she's been participating in couples sessions. Mostly with wives who have sexual difficulties with their husbands, but there have been just a few who wanted to explore their relationship a little more. A little experimentation can keep a marriage alive."

"Did you..." Grissom pursed his lips together a moment, asking, "Did you participate in these sessions?"

"Would you accompany me to my office?"

As much as he wanted to keep his distance from her, Grissom stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, reluctantly joining her upstairs. He felt as though he had just entered the serpents den, especially after she offered him a cup of sophisticated afternoon tea. He promptly declined the offer, trying to keep things on a professional level this time as he took a seat by her desk.

"You're a suspect." He blurted it out, seeing the surprised look on her face. He still couldn't look her in the eye, fearing what he might see. "I can't rule anybody out in this investigation. I can't play favourites because I know you. I'd like to think that I know what you're capable of, but in this world, anyone can be capable of anything."

Instead of taking a seat beside the man, Lady Heather stood with her back pressed against the window. She found it difficult to read him while he was being so evasive, feeling as though the trust in their relationship had been broken by what he believed to be true.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" She finally spoke.

She looked somewhat like an angel with the backlight behind her, but he had to believe in the facts.

"It's not about what I believe. It's about what the evidence is telling me."

"Yes, I participated in some of her sessions with her clients. I often do. It's my job to unlock what the mind holds secret. Unfortunately, the language that we unlock and speak in these walls, doesn't necessarily translate the same to the world outside. I allow the more experienced few to have their outside clients, but I leave it up to their judgements. I can't protect everyone who happens to work for me out there in the real world. I can only protect them in here."

"In here the submissive has all the power." Grissom remembered something she had told him once.

"Yes, all the submissive has to do is say the safety word and everything stops, but that isn't necessarily the case in the outside world. People have their own selfish needs. They value what's right for them more, putting people in harm's way. These kinds of people are usually the ones who avoid coming to places like this."

"Why?" He curiously asked her, still trying to rule her out as a suspect in his head. "Why would Tanya decide to take a client outside of here if you provide safety in these walls?"

"Lots of different reasons. Comfort. Some couples feel embarrassed to come to a place like this when they have the comfort of their own home. We often find that some people feel more open in their own environment. For others it could be that there are too many rules and boundaries in a place like this. They don't like to feel restricted."

Lady Heather finally moved away from the window, breaking the connection of her glowing halo. She no longer resembled the woman he once trusted, breaking his heart.

"Not someone like you though." She approached him, making another observation. "You're curious but cautious. You select your words carefully. You watch what you say, where you look. You're a complicated man, Mr Grissom, and you don't trust easily. A lifetime of dealing with liars and murderers has taught you that. And once that trust is broken, you lose your respect for that person."

"Lady Heather, I need to ask you..."

"Have I lost your respect, Mr Grissom?" The woman cut him off, standing the opposite side of the desk from him now. She folded her arms across the black lace corset she was wearing, finding it difficult to study his expression while he continued to avoid eye contact with her. "Do I confuse you so terribly that you find it difficult to trust me?"

"Lady Heather, you once shared with me that you are diabetic." He got back to his case, perking her attention. "Tanya was found dead in an alley after taking an overdose of insulin, but she wasn't a diabetic." Grissom reached for his phone as it started to ring, sighing softly as the call finally came in. "Excuse me, one moment." He snapped it open. "Grissom... yes, I'm here now..." He glanced up at Lady Heather, nodding into his phone. "Alright, thank you."

"What was that?" She gave the man a curious look.

"The Judge, I asked for a warrant." Grissom climbed to his feet, stuffing the phone back into his pocket. "It's on its way now. Lady Heather, I'm going to need a sample of your insulin and I need to examine your syringes. We have to wait for the warrant to arrive though." He stood in silence for the most awkward twenty minutes of his life, looking anywhere but the woman in question. He started to feel a cramp in his neck after a while, before the warrant finally arrived with Brass and some backup.

Grissom felt more than a little guilty about putting someone so close to him through something like this, but the case was what was important to him at the moment. He tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand, letting Brass deal with questioning her, while he bagged up a sample of her insulin, praying that it wasn't a match.

He had never wished for a negative result more than he did right now.

When he arrived back at the lab, he could feel all their eyes burning into him, wondering if it was the Lady Heather business that caused the looks or the fact that they all knew about his not so secret love child. He handed his evidence over to the lab technicians, before he shut himself inside his office for some peace and quiet, which lasted about five seconds.

"Hey, I just heard." Catherine gave his door a light knock, inviting herself inside. "I'll just be a minute, Linds." She left her daughter in the hallway. "Are you alright, Gil?"

"I gave her a key to my apartment."

"Lady Heather?" She gave him a confused look. "No. You mean, Sara. You know, you don't have to lock your ex in jail to get over her. Most people manage to move on without having their ex locked up."

"Lady Heather and I were never... she's a suspect in an ongoing murder case, Catherine. This has nothing to do with my personal feelings for the woman. I respect her as her as a professional, nothing more. Our relationship... was always professional."

"Mm-hmm." The woman hummed, giving him a smile. "So moving in together? Are you sure that's the right thing to do?"

"Sara's not just..." Grissom paused midsentence, finally lifting his gaze to meet, Catherine's. "What are you even doing here, Catherine? Your shift should be over by now."

"Oh, it is. I just had to pick, Lindsey up from a friends. She had an argument with her friend, Grace. They were supposed to be spending the day together, but apparently they can't stand each other right now. They'll get over it in a week or so." The woman sighed, hooking her sunglasses onto her blouse. "I left some paperwork in my office, so we thought we'd swing by to pick it up on our way out to breakfast. Then I heard the news. So, you really think that Lady Heather could have done something like this?"

"It's not about what I think, Catherine. It's about the evidence."

Catherine rolled her eyes, wishing he wasn't so guarded. She never understood why he couldn't just open up to people like she could. "Well, I'll be off then." She made a move for the door, sensing he had something else on his mind. "So, besides asking her to move in with you, do you know what you're going to do yet?"

"It's my child, Catherine. The one thing in this world I thought that I'd never have, let alone want." The man spoke softly, staring off into space. He sensed the other woman moving closer, hearing a chair scrapping across the floor. She sat herself down in front of him, giving him a warm smile.

"But you do want it. I can hear it in your voice."

"I do." Grissom managed a slight nod, trying to understand what he had done wrong. "Giving Sara a key to my apartment was supposed to be a sign to her that we're in this together. The first sign of any real commitment that I've shown anyone... ever. "

"I'm sensing that it didn't work out that way?"

"Ecklie." The man suddenly pushed himself to his feet, remembering he had been avoiding his calls all day, but he couldn't ignore him any longer if he wanted to keep his job. "Can you do me a favour and check in on Greg's case? I don't know how long this will take." He glanced at his watch, grabbing his ID badge off the desk. "Warrick and Nick are working the Lady Heather case. Sara's strictly lab bound, helping Greg out with his case."

"Of course. Good talk, Gil." Catherine nodded, wishing he would have opened up a little more than that. It was certainly more than he had opened up in all the years that she had known him, but she was hoping for a little more. "Gil, he can't fire you for dating her. I've already given him my statement that I was the one to deal with her pregnancy matter, putting her on lighter duties until she takes her maternity leave and you never bothered to fill out our monthly performance reviews either, so there's no conflict."

"We still violated lab policy."

"There's always some wiggle room in lab policy. Believe me, I've had some experience there." Catherine shrugged her shoulders together, giving the man a reassuring smile. "It'll be fine and as for Sara, the two of you need to sit down and really talk. I'm always here for you both, but you need to learn to talk to each other. You need to, especially with a child on the way."

"Working on it." Gulping the lump in his throat, Grissom reluctantly made his way towards the other man's office, giving the door a light knock, before he stepped inside. "Conrad... is now a good time?"

"Gil..." The man glanced up from his paper work, quickly noting the time on his watch. "Better late than never, I suppose. Take a seat." He grabbed himself a notebook, laying it out flat on his desk. "I've already conducted my interview with CSI Sidle, so I'll just need you to clear up a few facts. How's the dominatrix case going?"

"We're not here to talk about that, Conrad." He grabbed himself a seat in front of the man's desk.

"I was just curious." The man clicked his pen on, smiling at the other man. "It must be tough dealing with an old flame."

"Lady Heather has only ever been a friend to me." He set him straight. "With all due respect, Conrad, our relationship has nothing to do with what we're here to talk about. So just say what you want to say."

"Look, I don't want to play any games here, Gil. This is as difficult for me as it is for you. So let's just get this over with, shall we?" He turned over to a new page. "This is an administrative inquiry. You and a colleague that you supervise are in direct violation of lab policy, which states that members of the same forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. Not only did you refuse to tell anyone about your relationship when it started, but you're also having a baby together."

"I'm aware." Grissom nodded slightly, licking his dry lips as the man continued in his professional tone.

"Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less than I do, but since you didn't handle this right, I have to take a formal statement, so less of the sarcasm." He glared at the man. "This is a conversation that should have happened when you first started seeing her. A conversation between friends, rather than something so formal. We could have found a way to get around this. Sara could have stayed on your team with Catherine filling in her evaluations... or Sofia now, since she's your new assistant supervisor, but now we have to go through all the legal channels to make sure you didn't favour this one CSI that you were dating over the others."

"I didn't." He assured him, trying to remember anything he did that might be considered favouring her over the others, but he treated her like one of the team while they were working, keeping his personal feelings for her out of their work relationship. He occasionally brought her lunch or brewed her a coffee when she got in, but he didn't consider that as favouring her.

"You could have come to me sooner, before things escalated like this." Ecklie let out a long exasperated sigh, jotting down some notes. "I get where you're coming from Gil. Working long hours like we do, there's no time left to meet someone outside of work and the only relationships we have are with our colleagues here at the lab, but you know the policy on dating, so why didn't you just tell someone?"

"Because we didn't want people to know."

The man rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he noted down his statement. "As you're aware, if colleagues do engage in an intimate relationship, you have three months to report it, so how long have, Sara and you been seeing each other?"

"Seven years." Grissom immediately answered, noticing the look of annoyance on the other man's face right way. He knew it was probably longer than he was expecting, but he didn't see any point in lying about their relationship any longer.

"You know what, the two of you need to get your stories straight. I've got Sara telling me that you've been together four months, right around the time that she found out she was pregnant and now you're telling me that this has been going on for seven years? Which is it, Gil?"

Grissom smiled softly, clasping his hands together in his lap. "We've known each other for seven years, but we've only been intimate this past year."

"There's no doubt about it then. There will be an internal investigation on your working relationship and one of you will have to switch shifts. For the time being, I'm going to have Sofia supervise, Sara. They've been working well together since the changeover. I hope it was worth it."

Climbing to his feet, Ecklie quickly dismissed the man, annoyed about the extra paperwork he'd have to complete for this violation. He hadn't had to deal with something like this in a long time, but he still remembered how the last one panned out.

He certainly didn't want to face another law suit like that.

Once he was dismissed, Grissom made his way back to his office, expecting to find Catherine still inside, but she was long gone. He dropped to his seat behind his desk, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, before he noticed the pink backpack on the floor. He hadn't noticed it on the way in, but it definitely wasn't there before. He clambered to his feet, scooping the bag up from the floor. The top zipper had been left open, peaking his curiosity further.

A doll. A change of clothes for the doll. A small teddy with heart on its chest, attached to a set of keys and a small purse that had a photo of Catherine inside.

"Lindsey." Grissom stuffed the things back inside the top pocket, carrying the bag into the hall. He examined the labs around him carefully, searching for the whereabouts of the little miss Willows. He stepped into the print lab, smiling at Mandy as he circled the desk, looking for any sign of the little girl.

"Um... is there something I can help you with?" She gave him a curious look.

"No, no. Nothing to concern yourself with, Miss Webster." The man shook his head, leaving through the opposite door. He stepped through to the trace lab, avoiding looking directly at David Hodges as he made a quick sweep of his lab.

Hodges followed the man with a curious gaze, waving to the man as he disappeared out the door. "See you then, boss."

The man did a quick sweep of the AV lab, smiling to himself as he approached the door to the layout room beside it. He gave the door a light knock so he wouldn't startle them, before he stepped inside. "Hello, my dear." He smiled at Sara, presenting the pink backpack to the child sat beside her. "You left this in my office, Miss Willows."

"Thank you." Lindsey reached for the strap of the bag, setting it on the table beside her. "Aunt Sara was showing me how to take fingerprints." She held up her left hand that had been completely covered with black ink.

"Started out that way anyway. Lindsey got a little carried away with the ink." Sara smiled at the man, handing the child a wet wipe to clean her palm. "Catherine said you asked her to watch the shift for a while. What happened to Sofia? Isn't she supposed to be your second in command?"

"Out in the field." Grissom took a step back towards the door. "I'll get her to relieve, Catherine as soon as she gets back. Are you okay here for now?"

"Yeah... we're... okay." Sara seemed more than a little nervous, but Lindsey had really taken to her already. "Are you okay?" She noticed that he was hanging around, rather than rushing off to work like he usually did. "Ecklie?" She presumed.

"Just finished my meeting with him." The man shrugged his shoulders together, leaning against the doorframe beside him. "It doesn't look good, but he's not forcing anyone to move shifts... yet. Why did you tell him that we had only been together for four months?"

"Um... because we have... haven't we?" Sara took the black smeared wet wipe off Lindsey's hands, giving the man in the doorway a curious look. "I thought that was the start of our relationship. Why? What did you tell him?"

"Seven years ago." He watched the woman he had admired for a long time, feeling as though she would make a wonderful mother, just by her interactions with the child beside her. "The day that I met you at the forensic academy conference." He jogged her memory, smiling as he recalled the look in her eyes.

Sara couldn't help but smile, forgetting for just a moment that her hand was killing her. He looked at her as though she was the only woman in the world, putting her mind at ease after hearing the gossip resurfacing about Lady Heather and the bug man.

Grissom eventually left her to it, making his way down to the police station, noticing Lady Heather in one of the interrogation rooms with Brass. He wanted to see for himself if she was innocent so he could still believe in her, but he didn't think he could do it face to face. He made a beeline for the observation room instead, finding Warrick stood watching.

"Hey." Warrick gave him a nod. "So uh... I saw you talking to Ecklie earlier. What's happening with Sara?"

"One of us might have to switch shifts." Grissom stuffed his hands in his pockets, standing directly in front of the window. He felt a shiver as the woman immediately looked towards the mirror, knowing she couldn't see him, but she could probably feel his presence.

"Is it something I said?" Brass asked the woman from the other side of the mirror, watching her getting up, making her way towards the mirror. She looked at her reflection, unknowingly looking directly into Grissom's eyes.

"I'm disappointed in you." The woman appeared to be speaking directly to him, rather than the Captain over her shoulder. "But... I'm not surprised by this accusation. You're a man with many talents, but trust and respect in your eyes can easily be broken. I feel that you fear me... more now, because you believe that I've committed the one unforgivable act. I respect that. I know you. You know me. We have a connection. And I know in your heart, you believe that I'm not capable of this."

"Excuse me, Lady Heather." Brass caught her attention. "This has nothing to do with heart. This is about the evidence."

Grissom took his eyes off the woman as Warrick's cell started to ring, watching him answer it, hopeful that it would clear her name.

"Brown... hey... yeah... oh really? Yeah, okay... I'll tell him now. Thanks, man. I owe you one." He snapped his phone shut, turning to his supervisor. "Nicky found the client that our girl, Tanya was with last night. He's got photos of their night out all over his phone. He's being brought in now. And get this, the wife was a diabetic. Nicky found an empty syringe at their house."

Grissom turned his eyes back to Lady Heather through the glass, feeling the guilt rising already. He watched as Captain Brass continued his line of questioning, while the woman remained unresponsive by the mirror. She looked like a woman scorned, but he hoped that she would realise he was just doing his job.

Perching himself on the table behind him, Grissom watched the woman staring off into space, while he anxiously waited for the results to come in. He avoided all calls to his cell for the next hour or so, not even noticing how much time had passed, until Warrick reappeared with a file in his hands.

"Results just came back. Our girl, Tanya was definitely killed with one of the wife's syringes. The idiot even put it back in her kit with Tanya's blood still it on it. Brass is bringing him up on charges for killing, Tanya now. The wife almost decked him when she found out." Warrick handed him the file, giving him the proof that he needed. "Lady Heather's free to go."

"I'll tell her." He handed the report back to him, breathing in a deep breath, before he made his way into the hall. He didn't know what she was going to say or how she was going to take this false accusation, but it was too late to turn away now. She had already spotted him through the window.

Lady Heather climbed to her feet from the interrogation room table, still looking at him as though she had been betrayed.

"Lady Heather... I owe you an apology." He started.

"Apologies are just words." She glanced up at him with an icy cold stare. "Am I free to go?"

Instead of saying anything, the man simply stepped aside from the open door with a hand gesture. He watched her grabbing her bag from the other chair, keeping her eyes fixated on him as she made her way towards the door.

"Even though I didn't do this and you knew that, your opinion of me has changed." Lady Heather lowered her head, stepping past him. "I'm sorry that I disappointed your expectations of me. I shall miss our friendship."

Without looking back, she made her towards the front desk to sign herself out, leaving a vacant space in Grissom's heart. He knew that his feelings for her were nothing compared to what he felt for Sara, but it still felt like a loss.

A loss of a friend. He had so few in his life already that it stung to lose one now.

"I changed my mind." Grissom placed his hand over Sara's that was resting on his chest. He tilted his head to the side to look into her eyes, feeling his heart warming. He didn't want to go home to an empty apartment after a long day like today, so he made his way over to Sara's apartment, joining her for some much needed sleep.

Her bed wasn't quite as comfortable as his memory foam mattress, but the whole room was filled with her scent, immediately bringing him the comfort he so desperately needed.

Half asleep, Sara brushed her hand across her eyes, shuffling under the covers to a comfier position. "Huh?"

Grissom brushed his fingers through her hair, giving her a smile as she struggled to open her eyes. "I said I changed my mind. In a few shorts months, we're going to parents. We'll be a family. And I would like you to move in with me... as soon as possible. I've lived half a life time already worrying about the outcomes of my decisions, never taking big steps to protect myself, being alone because of my decisions... but I've never been surer then I am right now. I will be your fixed address, for as long as we both shall live."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far. Please let me know what you thought of this next chapter.**

 **Hope you have a great weekend.**

 **~ Holly**


	11. Solidarity

**Chapter Eleven - Solidarity**

Twenty five weeks pregnant.

A long way from home, stuck in a prison hospital waiting room.

This really wasn't what she had in mind for a sweltering hot day like today. Sara had been sitting perfectly still for what felt like nearly two hours now. Her back felt sticky against the surface of the uncomfortable chair. She had a cramp in her left leg and her forehead was melting. She shifted herself for the hundredth time on the hard plastic chair, jumping at the sound of the squeaky door down the hall opening yet again.

Still no sign of her.

Why she chose today of all days to track across the country to see her mother, she'd never know. She couldn't even remember making the decision anymore. One minute, she was discussing her change in hours at the lab with Ecklie, the next, she was on a flight to San Francisco to visit her mother.

Her mother, a woman who she had despised for as long as she could remember.

Sara hated visiting her as a child. The slamming doors, screams of patients and the rattle of the guards keys brought it all back to her. She wanted out. She couldn't take it any longer.

"Are you here for Laura Sidle?" A robust woman appeared in front of her as if out of nowhere.

Sara almost wanted to say 'no' and leg it out the door, but that would mean a wasted journey with nothing to show for it.

Instead, she nodded her head slightly, grabbing the arm of the chair to assist herself to her feet. She grabbed her bag off the chair beside her, breathing deeply for a moment. The extra weight of the baby was killing her back, but it was murder on her chest. She could barely catch her breath with the baby pressed against her diaphragm.

"She had a funny turn this morning." The guard led her towards a set of doors. She grabbed the handle, waiting for the buzz from the office, before the door unlocked. She held it open for Sara, glancing back at the woman as she remained put on the other side of the door. "Well, are you coming or not? I've got other things to do, you know lady."

Sara remained frozen on the spot, having a sense of déjà vu. She had heard those words so many times before and it was always accompanied by the nightmare version of her mother. Either screaming and throwing things around the room, because no one else believed that it was all contaminated or the crazy ramblings of someone coming to get her, looking for any escape she could. She used to do the same thing when she was a child, but somehow, it seemed so much scarier in a place like this.

Sara didn't want to deal with any of that at the moment. She usually had a social worker at her side, holding her hand every step of the way through every buzz of the security doors, searches and finally meeting the woman herself.

This wasn't the first time she was going to do it on her own though. She rather wished that she wasn't here on her own, but there was no way she would ever let the man she loved see where she came from.

"Ma'am?" The annoyed woman tried to get her attention.

"I can't. I have to go." Sara placed her hands over her stomach, taking a few steps back from the door. She couldn't let her baby be a part of this. She didn't ask Grissom to come with her for this exact reason. She didn't want any of them to know where she came from.

Not out of embarrassment either. Fear had a lot more to do with it than shame.

Sara quickly shook her head, running for the safety of the exit. She didn't stop until she reached her car outside, finally releasing a breath that she hadn't realised she was holding. She sat herself down behind the wheel of her car, smoothing her hand across her baby bump, more to sooth herself than the baby.

Becoming her mother was her biggest nightmare during all of this. She was starting to get used to the idea of having a baby of her own at the end of this ordeal, but abandoning the child, ruining it's life, going crazy, getting locked up. She didn't want any of that. She didn't know how to avoid it either, other than letting Grissom be there for her and this child.

Her father had never been there for her mother, she knew that now. She wished she had figured out that little gem years ago, but she was blinded by her love for her father at the time.

Sara hoped that her child would look up to Grissom in the same way, more so, since he was such a kind hearted man who literally would never hurt a fly. She found herself excited to watch him teach their child everything he knew about insects and the world. She had so emotions about this pregnancy from the moment she found out, but these past few weeks, her excitement had tipped the scales.

She was carrying a little person inside of her that completely belonged to her. She adored this little person more than anything in the world right now, without even really knowing them. This baby was still a complete mystery to her, but she loved it already and she wasn't afraid to admit it anymore.

That alone was amazing to her.

* * *

After the third chime of his alarm clock, Grissom finally reached his arm over his head, switching off the obnoxious sound. He propped himself up against the headboard now that the room was silent, praying for some noise to fill his empty apartment. He had hoped that Sara would take him up on the offer and move in with him, but she was still dragging her heels after nearly eight weeks of owning a spare key to his place.

He didn't want to push her into anything, but the loneliness was really starting to seep in now that she was away.

Grissom turned his head towards his bedroom door as it creaked open, smiling as the boxer pushed his way inside, approaching his side of the bed.

"Good morning, Hank." He tapped the bed, prompting him to join him. He ruffled his fingers through the dogs fur, feeling his heart sinking a little as he saw the vacant space beside him. He noticed a small rectangle on her bedside table, crawling towards it to take a look.

It was their twenty week scan.

The baby had grown considerably since their last scan, as had Sara's stomach. There was no doubt about it anymore, she was definitely pregnant and the baby had taken on more human features. He could see the large base of the skull in this image. The outline of their brain and distinct features, complete with eyes, nose and mouth.

Beside the head, he could see the full shape of a hand, extended outwards from their tiny arm. A long string of pearls made up his baby's spine and a long leg was visible on one side, pushed upwards as they kicked at the surface of Sara's stomach during the scan.

Listening to the baby's heartbeat was so surreal.

But feeling his baby's first kick was more amazing then he could ever imagine, only making him miss Sara and his unborn baby even more.

It didn't feel right without her at his side anymore.

He felt as though a part of him was missing.

Grissom immediately reached for his phone, hitting his speed dial for Sara. He dropped his head to his pillow as he waited for the call to go through, sighing softly as it went straight through to her voicemail.

"Sara... it's me. Call me back... please." He practically whispered, setting the phone down beside him. He scrambled out of bed a moment later, taking Hank through to the kitchen to get him some breakfast. He made himself a coffee while he was there, looking around his spacious apartment that used to suit his needs just fine. He had lived here by himself going on ten, nearly eleven years. It always felt like home to him before, but now it felt so big and empty.

He needed Sara for it to feel like a home now.

Grissom quickly rushed for the other room, hearing his phone. He answered it without checking who it was first, hopeful that it was Sara calling him back.

"Good morning, Gil." Catherine answered, making her way through the lab, her heels clicking every step of the way. "I know you're not exactly due into the lab for another four hours or so, but we could really use your help with our serial killer case."

"Oh." He took a look at the time. "Yeah... I guess I could help out. Are you at the lab?"

"Yep, four dead. So far, we don't have a murder suspect, motive or anything that links them, besides the way that they were killed. None of them know each other. They don't go to the same places, eat anything even remotely the same. All we can figure out so far is that it's completely random. We could really use another set of eyes on this. We're set up in lab three."

"Alright. I'll be there in ten minutes." Grissom snapped his phone shut, ditching it on the bed. He gave out a soft sigh before he turned for his closet, grabbing himself something to wear. He skipped out on breakfast or a walk with Hank, heading straight for the lab, grateful for the distraction.

Nearly seventeen hours later, the exhausted man finally trudged through the door, crashing straight onto the sofa. He remained put for a moment, resting his aching limbs, before he reached his hand out to stroke, Hank. He received a message earlier from the dog walker to say that Hank had already had his long walk and been fed, so there was no reason to get up.

Until the phone rang.

Grissom forced himself out of his relaxing position, rushing down the steps into the kitchen to grab the landline. He reached past the pile of washing up he had yet to get around to, grabbing the phone before it stopped.

"Grissom." He let out a soft sigh hearing the voice of Ecklie on the other end, reluctantly listening to what he had to say, before he reluctantly arranged a time to meet him tomorrow.

Avoiding the washing up for now, the man made his way through to the bathroom, grabbing a quick shower. He climbed straight into bed with a book, reading through three or four chapters, before he felt his eyelids falling heavily over his eyes. He reached for his bookmark off his bedside table, grabbing Sara's twenty week scan instead.

The snapshot of his growing baby.

A few days ago, his mind was at ease. Sara was sure about having the baby and raising it between them. But now, his head was full of worries since her departure to San Francisco. He couldn't cope with these questions on his own.

How were they going to care for their baby between the two of them, especially living in separate houses?

What if they split up somewhere down the line?

What would happen to them?

With his track record, he was surprised that their relationship had even lasted this long.

When would he be able to see his child if they did split?

How would he cope with Sara at his side if they stayed together?

And what if his child didn't like him?

All the questions felt heavy on his head, bringing on the familiar pain of a migraine that he thought he got rid of weeks ago.

On the plus side, he was going to be a father. The one thing he had never dreamed of becoming. He still had no idea what kind of father he was going to be. He couldn't remember much of his own father, only what his mother had told him in the past, reminding him that he had yet to tell his own mother that she was about to become a grandmother. She had given up hope of ever becoming a grandmother a long time ago, so this was sure to be a surprise.

Scrambling for his cell, Grissom immediately smiled, finally seeing the right name flash across the screen that made his heart flutter. "Hello, my dear." He spoke softly, propping himself up against the headboard.

"Hi, are you at the lab?" Sara answered.

"No, home with Hank. Just finished my shift working with the old team again on a serial killer case." He smiled proudly, wishing she had been there too to make it feel more like the old team. "How's it going?"

"Horribly. I tried to get in to see her yesterday, but she had an episode. I have to wait for her doctor to approve a new visiting order." Sara perched herself on the edge of her hotel bed, relieved that he would never know that she just bailed. She placed her hand on her protruding bump, feeling the baby kicking now that she finally managed to get hold of their father. "I still don't know how I'm going to tell her. I haven't seen her... in years. Let alone had a conversation with her."

"She's still your mother, Sara."

As much as he wanted Sara at his side, he remembered that she had a good reason for going. She decided that it was finally time to let her mother know about the pregnancy. She never told her mother anything, so this was a huge step for her. He was a little annoyed that she didn't invite him to come with her, but he wasn't about to hold it against her. She had yet to meet his own mother after all and she lived in the same city as them.

"I know." Sara smoothed her hand across her stomach, hoping to settle the hyperactive baby, so she could finally get some sleep. "It's just... it's not like we're going to sit down and have a mother daughter conversation about being pregnant... or labour... or even what it's like to have a baby. I don't even know if she's able to have conversations at the moment. The last time I saw her, she spent three hours staring out of the window at nothing, while I told her that I was moving to Las Vegas. And that was classed as a good day."

"I'm sure you'll feel better once you tell her, Sara."

Grissom really didn't know a whole lot about schizophrenia, so he had no idea what her mother could take in. He only just found out that Sara's mother had it a few days ago. Before that, she always just told him that her mother had been sick for as long as she could remember. He guessed that she meant mentally ill, but he had no way of knowing with what, until she opened up to him a few days ago.

"The baby has been kicking like mad for the past hour or so. I think it can feel my nerves." She rapidly changed the subject, but for once, he didn't mind. "I couldn't sleep last night either. I don't know if it was this mattress, the hotel room or the baby laying right against my spine."

"Did you eat yet?" He had to check.

"Yes, I had pizza for lunch and jacket potato for dinner. Along with two bowls of ice cream." Sara confessed, scooting herself back towards her headboard. "This baby is off the meat and onto the sweet and sugary stuff now. I think I've gained about ten pounds just from the flight over."

"You're still the most beautiful woman alive." He paid her a compliment, wishing he could say what he really wanted to say. He had the perfect opportunity now that they were miles away from each other with a phone pressed to his ear, but he still couldn't find the courage to even whisper those three little words to her that he had whispered so many times while she slept beside him.

"Thank you." Sara spoke softly. "What are you up to?"

"I was just about to sleep." He grabbed for the ultrasound scan beside him, brushing his thumb across the outline of his child.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can call you back in the morning..."

"No, it's fine." Grissom tried to hold her on the line for just a little bit longer. "I couldn't sleep... worrying. Thinking more than worrying. About the baby. About you... me... us. All I have of you or my child is this little ultrasound scan."

"Welcome to my world, all I ever think or worry about is this kid and how I'm going to screw it up."

"We can screw it up together." He smirked, setting the ultrasound scan down on his lap. "History doesn't have to repeat itself, Sara. People can change and we're not your parents. We're not my parents either. We have to find our own way through this."

Sara immediately smiled, wishing that she had the courage to invite him along. She doubted that he would have been able to get the time off work anyway, but at least if she had asked, he could have been there to support her.

It was obvious that he was willing to go that extra mile for her. She just hoped that she wouldn't push him away like she always did with everyone.

* * *

Four days later, Sara finally got the visiting order, bravely making her way back to the hospital. She had already been on the phone to Grissom for two hours this morning, while he was getting himself ready for bed after a long shift, giving her the courage to make it all the way to the visiting room this room. She saw some children playing around the miniature arts and crafts table, while their mother sat beside them, hoping that would never be her, even though the woman seemed fairly normal compared to her own mother.

Another woman clutched her son in her arms as though he was about to disappear, while another one completely ignored the fact that her children were even in the same room as her.

At the end of the room, Sara finally spotted her own mother, instinctively placing her hands over her baby to try and protect it. She didn't realise it at the first, but she had actually stopped walking the moment she saw her.

"Miss Sidle," The guard beside her gave her a curious look, staying at her side as she stared into the distance at her mother. "Laura Sidle is right over there." She motioned her towards her, just in case she hadn't spotted her. "She doesn't get many visitors. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

"I doubt that." Sara spoke softly, breathing in a deep breath. She bravely took a few steps forwards, stopping in her tracks as a woman suddenly jumped up from the table, tossing the paperwork from the table at the man sat in front of her. He looked like a lawyer of some kind and it clearly wasn't very good news.

A few guards ran over to try and calm her down, but she only got more worked up, forcing them to restrain her.

Sara froze on the spot once again, having flashbacks of her past as she watched them practically dragging away the hysterical woman. She heard the buzz of the doors on their way out, followed by the woman's screams as she was forced into her cell. She felt ready to leave again, but then she felt a hand on hers.

"Sara." A woman appeared in front of her.

Her mother.

Sara felt a chill run down her spine, feeling as though she was paralysed as the woman in front of her leant forwards to hug her. She already had her arms around her before Sara could say anything. She had always longed for her mother to hold her like this. It was over before she could really get used to the idea that she could have a supportive mother.

Sara took her seat with her mother, listening to her usual complaints about the staff, her latest conspiracy theories and how terrible the food was, before her mother even asked her a personal question.

"Yes, I'm still at the lab. It's been changed around a bit. A lot actually, but..."

"Las Vegas is too far away." Laura interrupted her, circling her fingers across the table. She seemed a little more lucid than Sara's last visit with her, but she still didn't feel comfortable telling her about the baby or her relationship with Grissom for that matter.

Before she could even think about how to tell her though, her mother reached out to her, placing her hand on her stomach.

"You're expecting?" Laura's lips spread into a wide smile, before she started to frown. "No one ever tells me anything anymore. They're always tiptoeing around me, hiding the truth..."

"I just found out." Sara told a little white lie, trying to calm the woman down. "I would have come sooner..."

"Are you on your own?" Her mother noticed the lack of a ring on her finger. "Better to do it alone, I say. I wish I had done it alone."

"Yeah." Sara spoke softly, feeling the baby kick as if in protest of her statement. She knew she would never really be alone again, especially with Grissom at her side, but she wasn't ready to tell her mother about that for fear of her ruining what she had with him.

For as long as she could remember, her mother had tainted everything she touched.

"Good Morning, my dear. How was your flight?" As promised, Grissom met up with her at the airport back in Las Vegas, lifting her heavy bag of luggage straight from her arms.

"Good."

The man affectionately pressed a kiss to her cheek, placing his hand on her stomach as he did. He was hoping to feel a kick from the baby after so long apart, but he settled for just feeling them back in his arms.

"Gil," Sara took his hand, stopping him from leading her out to the car so soon. "I think I should meet your mother." She had been worrying about the opportunity to meet his mother for weeks now, but after seeing her own, she figured it couldn't be that much worse. "It's my decision." She assured him. "I want to meet her and I want our baby to know her."

"I thought that you said it went okay with your mother?"

"It did." Sara shrugged her shoulders together, following him outside, so they weren't blocking the exit. "But I never want my baby to see the inside of that place. My mother didn't protect me from that or the violence, but I can protect ours."

"We can." He corrected her, leading her out to the car. "Did you make you your mind about maternity leave yet?"

"I think I'd be bored out of my mind if I take it too early. What would I do?"

"Well for starters, we're going to need things for the baby." Grissom pointed out to her, getting the passenger side door of his car for her. He had some spare time over the weekend, so he managed to wash the outside and vacuum out the inside for her, but she didn't notice until she was sat inside. "From what I've read, they seem to need a lot of things."

"Did you get new mats?" Sara pointed towards her feet, noticing how clean it was. He wasn't an overly organised man and he often let simple chores slack, especially where his car was concerned, but even the back seat had been vacuumed of all the dog fur. "Did you actually have some free time on your hands?" She smiled in his direction.

"I did." The man threw her bags in the back, hurrying round to the driver's seat. "I had the day off on Sunday. Sofia has been over helping with the paperwork at the office, so I had some time to clean up the house a bit."

"Over helping?"

"Yeah, she doesn't even let it stack up anymore." He smirked, pulling his belt on over his shoulder. "I cleared out my office at home. I was hoping that... eventually... it could be the baby's room."

"But that's your office."

"Not anymore." Grissom started up the car, smiling at the woman he adored. "My place is big enough for the four of us, Sara. We're both going to have to make some adjustments before this baby comes along. I don't mind moving my office out for our child."

Sara knew how much his home office meant to him, realising just how committed he was if he had moved out his various experiments and collections of things for the sake of his future offspring. She was still having doubts where moving in with him was concerned, but he seemed a lot more stable than all of her foster homes combined.

"Do you think we can pick up some boxes from the lab on our way back?"

Before Grissom could even ask what for, he saw the smile spread across her lips, knowing she meant exactly what he been hoping for all this time. "I don't want to jinx it, my dear, but you should visit your mother more often if it helps you to make big decisions like this."

"No, thank you. I can't wait to get back to normality." Sara placed her hand on her stomach, giving him a smile. "Well as normal as we can be with a baby on the way."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! Slightly shorter chapter this time. Haven't had a whole lot of time to bulk up the chapter, but I thought this one was pretty sweet how it was. Hopefully, I will have the next one ready by next weekend. Thanks so much for all your reviews and support so far. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy the rest of your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	12. Adjustment Required

**Chapter Twelve - Adjustment Required**

"Before you make your final decision, I think that you should weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages. I'm completely behind you, whatever you decide, but I think that you need more time to think about such a huge decision. You've only been planning the birth for the past... two weeks since our last antenatal class, Sara." Grissom pointed out to her, handing her another piece of tape from the wheel in his hands. He watched her sealing up the box, before he handed her the marker to label it. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes."

"But are you sure?" He stopped her from grabbing the box, quickly picking it up himself. "Won't it be harder for you if you don't have the hospital bed and all the equipment to monitor you both?"

His super protective side was starting to get on her nerves, but she wasn't about to kick him out. This was the only free time he had to visit her. She had finally submitted to maternity leave from the lab, mostly to get Ecklie off her case, but also because her baby bump was starting to get in the way of work. She had to get up to pee every few minutes, the lab chairs weren't very comfortable for her aching back and she couldn't bend to pick anything up. The extra weight of the baby also made her feel out of balance and clumsy, making her a liability on the job.

Time away from the lab gave her more time to prepare for their new arrival, but it also gave her less time with the man she was planning to move in with for the past four weeks now. She meant to do it sooner, but her place was taking a lot longer than expected to pack up and move across the city to his place.

"Gil, I've been thinking about this for a while now. It's not like I just opened the birthing plan book and picked one at random. Honestly, I've thought more about this then moving in with you." The woman chuckled softly, reaching out for his hands to assist herself to her feet. She gave the man a smile, stealing a quick kiss from his lips. "It's my decision." She got to work on the various letters and paperwork that had been left on the top of the table.

"It's just so..."

"Ow." Sara suddenly yelped.

"What is it, the baby?" Grissom rushed to her side, his eyes wide and his face as white as a sheet.

"No, I got a paper cut." She held her hand out to him, letting him see for himself. "My hand has finally started to heal as well. Look at that, right in the join. I hate that."

"Do you have a first aid kit?"

"It's a paper cut, Gil. I'll be fine." Sara couldn't help but laugh, turning to grab another roll of bubble wrap. "It's not exactly the worst pain I'm going to go through. Can you cut right along here for me?" She motioned towards the scissors behind him.

The man picked them up off the coffee table, carefully cutting along the line for her. He watched her using it to carefully wrap up a glass dolphin statue off the top shelf, before she placed it into the open box. "Dolphins?" He finally asked.

"Yeah, a leaving gift from the San Francisco lab. I wore a necklace with a dolphin pendant on it one day and they suddenly think I'm obsessed with the things. They all chipped in to buy it for me the day I left to come here. It's kinda pretty though, right?" Sara double wrapped it with newspaper to make sure it didn't break, using Grissom's hands to help herself to her feet again.

"Are you sure about this water birth though?" Grissom got back to his original point.

"My doctor said that we have to start our birth plan now that we're in the final stages. Ideally I want it to be pain free, but I know that won't be the case. I don't want any drugs near this kid. All my research has led towards a birthing pool being the most comfortable and stress free for both mother and baby." Sara directly quoted her research, motioning towards the book shelf that needed to be packed next. "Let's get started over here."

"What made you decide on a water birth then? With all the medical advancements that we have now, why would you want to do something so..."

"It's my choice, Gil." Sara stopped him there, grabbing a handful of books off the shelf. "I've never been a fan of needles anyway. I don't want pain relief or everyone fussing over the baby once it's born. I don't want the baby born all drugged out or forced out of me unnaturally. Child birth is natural and I want to do it my way. Having a water birth is the most natural and stress free way to do it. It's not only good for me, but it'll be good for the baby too. They get to be with me, rather than off on some cooling table with a bunch of strangers poking at them. You know how much I hate hospitals, anyway. Oh, c'mere, quick." She ushered him over, placing his hand on her side. "Can you feel that?"

Grissom waited a moment, before he allowed a smile to spread across his lips. He lifted his gaze to meet Sara's, anxiously biting his bottom lip as he tried to get up the courage to say those three little words out loud to her.

But he couldn't let it go.

"It's just..." He thought the idea was so primitive and full of more worries than any kind of reassurance. "What if something goes wrong?"

"I've already spoken to my doctor about it and she thinks it's a good idea. Provided we don't have any complications in these last few weeks, she's happy for us to go through with it. She gave me a number for a birthing centre or we can do it from home."

"And if there's complications?" He set the books down into the open box.

"I'll go to the hospital, of course. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardise the life of our baby." She promised, handing him another stack of books. "Everything I've read about birthing pools is completely safe. If there's something wrong during labour, I'm willing to do anything to make sure this kid makes it, but I'd rather do it myself in a birthing pool. I'm going to add you as my next of kin too. If there's any complications, I want you to make sure they prioritise the baby over me."

"I don't know if..."

"Just promise me." Sara cut him off. "The kid before me. That's more than my mother ever did for me."

"I promise." Grissom set the books down in the box, looking a little uncomfortable by the subject. He would rather have both of them then lose either one of them. "I didn't realise you had so much stuff." He glanced around at the boxes they had already filled and the stuff that had yet to find it's home in a box.

"Do you think it will all fit in your place?"

"I cleared out some space for you. Some." He repeated himself, giving her a smile as she handed him another stack of books. "I was thinking of a way to make some more room in my place for you and the baby. You know my huge dining table? It takes up all the room next to the kitchen. I think we should get rid of that and move your smaller table in there instead. My front room is full of my stuff. If I get rid of my other sofa and move some of my books into storage..."

"No, Gil. You've already got rid of your office. It's really sweet of you, but I don't want to completely invade your space."

"That would defeat the whole point of you moving in with me, Sara. I want you to completely invade my space." He set the books down, lifting off the photo frame from the top shelf. He brushed his fingers across the dusty glass, looking at the team pictured in the frame. "You're my family now, Sara." He pointed out to her, setting the picture down in the box. "I don't want it to just be my place anymore. I want it to be filled with these little scented things that remind me of you." He lifted the little pouch of lavender off the hook on the wall, bringing it to his nose to breath in. "You have more colour then my apartment has ever seen. I want all of that around me. What is this anyway?"

"It's supposed to keep out the moths." Sara grabbed the scented pouch from his hand, tossing it into the box between them. She smiled at the adorable man, reluctantly agreeing to his plan of stripping his single life memories from his apartment. "If this ever gets too much for you, just let me know. I won't even be mad. I like my space, so I'll understand."

"It's not too much." Grissom stepped forwards to seal a kiss to her lips, gently smoothing his hand across her stomach. Her top had crept its way up her stomach again, revealing the huge beach ball inside. "You know we don't have that much longer to go. We don't have anything for the baby yet."

"Isn't it bad luck to buy it too soon?"

"You're thirty one weeks this week. I think it's bad luck for the baby to get here and not have any stuff."

"Not entirely true." Sara made her way through to the kitchen, grabbing the gift bag off the side. She handed it over to her partner, while she grabbed the last of the books.

"My mother?" Grissom noticed the label right away. He reached inside the gift bag, smiling as he lifted out the newly boxed pacifier that had a cuddly lion toy dangling from it. "When did she give you this?"

"This morning actually. She stopped by while I was cleaning out my closet. She told me she's in the process of stitching a quilt or something, but she wanted us to have this. She didn't stay long." Sara took another look at the pacifier, before she got back to her packing. "I think she's really starting to warm up to me."

Her first encounter with Mrs Grissom was more than a little awkward. She already knew the woman was deaf, so she was already nervous about meeting her without really knowing her language. She did her best to learn as much sign language as she could the night before, stupidly thinking that she would have Grissom there to help her out, but he bailed on the two of them at the last minute for a work thing. She managed to say 'hello' and tell her how far along her pregnancy was, but they literally had nothing to talk about for the next hour or so that she was there.

Betty was not impressed with what she saw and Sara felt even more out of place.

Luckily, Grissom's mother was a forgiving woman and willing to give her another chance, especially since she was carrying her first grandchild. Less than two weeks later, the woman was stopping by whenever she liked to give her little gifts or pieces of advice for her pregnancy.

"We seem to be getting on alright now." Sara assured him, turning his attention towards the other shelf. "I think I have some newspaper left over for the little knickknacks. They're nothing important, so it doesn't really matter if they get broken."

"I've brought some bubble wrap over. It's still in my car." Grissom made his way towards the front door, retrieving his car keys from his pocket. "What's this?" He picked up the book from the table beside the door.

"Oh... exactly what it looks like. Sign language for beginners." Sara shrugged her shoulders together. "Your mother actually bought it for me. I never realised how difficult it was before. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it's a huge part of yours and your mother's life, so I think I should at least try. I read in there that you can teach baby's sign language, so they can communicate their needs to you before they learn to talk. Might be worth looking into."

Grissom smiled in her direction, setting the book back where he found it. "I'll be right back." He gave her a wave, disappearing down the hallway to the stairs. As he reached the bottom his cell started to ring, reminding him that he was still on call. "Sofia, hi. What's up?"

"Sorry to call you on your day off, Gil, but we're a little stretched at the moment." Sofia quickly signed the form the receptionist held out for her, turning to look at the busy lab. "We've got more cases coming in then we can handle with just the two of us at the moment."

"Two?" He asked, reaching his car.

"Greg has his deposition today, so he's not in. Catherine and Warrick are still busy with their case. Nick's in LA, so it's just me and the replacement." Sofia stopped in the hallway, watching the rookie scrambling across the floor to collect the pieces of paper they had just dropped. "The rookie can't work a case on his own, so I'm stretched across three cases at the moment. Ecklie keeps promising he's going to get someone in, but so far, nothing. Sorry, but we really need you in."

"Okay." The man sighed, grabbing the bubble wrap and extra boxes from the back of his car. "Give me... fifteen minutes." He tucked them under his arm, locking his car back up again. "I have to get a change of clothes and my kit."

"Alright, I'll text you the address of your first scene."

"Thanks." Grissom snapped his phone shut, slotting it back into his pocket. He hurried back up the stairs to Sara, dropping off the extra packaging supplies at the door. "Sara, I just called into work. Sofia's stretched thin across three cases at the moment. Ecklie's not bringing in any backup, so I'm it."

"Okay." She gave him a smile, tightly wrapping the newspaper around the three inch fairy figurine. She had no idea where she even got the ugly looking thing, but it had been there for so long, it felt odd leaving it behind. "Call me when you have some time. I'm almost finished up over here. I'll start packing my clothes and things from the bedroom in a minute."

"Don't lift anything too heavy." He warned her. "I'll be back to help you with the furniture. I'm sorry. I have to go."

"It's okay. It's just packing. I don't mind." Sara quickly pushed herself to her feet, catching his arm before he left. "Be careful, Gilbert." She slipped her arms around him, hugging him close for a moment. She knew he'd never initiate something like that himself, because he wasn't that kind of guy, but it was more for her than him anyway.

She found herself missing him a lot when he was gone, a lot more then she'd like to admit. The thought of being on her own through all of this terrified her more than anything. She thought that telling him would be the most terrifying part of it, but being on her own with a baby was a lot more terrifying. She'd literally be alone with the one thing she never thought she would ever have.

"Sara..." He patted his hand on her back, feeling her clutching his shoulders a little tighter than normal. "I don't have to go if you want me to..."

"No, they need you." Sara breathed in a deep breath, before she reluctantly let him go. "Will I see you later?"

"Yes, you will. I'll call you when I'm finished up. Don't lift any of those boxes by yourself." Grissom brushed her hair back behind her ear, smiling as he looked into her eyes. "Don't lift anything heavy. And you..." He playfully prodded her stomach. "Stop kicking your mother." He leant forwards to steal a kiss from her lips, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

"You're really getting into this parenting thing." Sara chuckled softly, smoothing out the creases in his hair. "I think they're just excited to be moving in with you. Do you want to sleep at yours tonight or do you want to crash here?"

"Whatever's best for you, my dear." He pulled back from her. "Hank might need a walk though."

"I can take him out." She suggested, still not too keen on the idea of using her ex-boyfriend's name in reference to her new significant other's dog, but Hank the dog was around long before Hank the cheating paramedic. "I still have your key. We need some quality time to get to know each other better anyway. I don't want him to feel as though I'm invading his space. His house is already filled with my boxes."

"Alright, his leash is by the door. Give him water and biscuits after, you know where it is. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. Goodbye, my dear."

"Bye." Sara called after him, struggling to sit herself on the floor. She rubbed her stomach as she felt a twinge, feeling exhausted already, even though she had only been awake for a few hours. She didn't have the energy to pack much more. She didn't really feel up to walking the dog either, but she couldn't leave Hank stuck in the house all day by himself.

Using her new key to let herself in, Sara eased the door open, smiling at the sight of the confused looking dog inside. "Hi, Hank. Hello." She knelt down to greet him with a gentle stroke to his head. "I know, I'm a lot earlier than usual. Do you remember me? Yeah. Shall we go for a walk?"

She struggled to push herself to her feet, grabbing his leash off the shelf. She spied the fridge out the corner of her eye, making Hank wait just a little longer, while she took a peek inside for a quick snack.

Even though she was a vegetarian, the open packet of cold cuts on the middle shelf looked so appetising to her right now. She stood in the open door for a moment, breathing in the delicious scent for a few minutes, before she quickly closed it.

She didn't want to indulge. She really did, but how could she live with herself if she ate anymore meat?

"Okay, Hank. Let's go." Sara tried to distract herself, clipping his leash to his collar. She led the way out the door, following the path to the familiar trail that she had walked with Grissom before. She stopped as the pathway started to narrow, letting the cyclist with the baby carriage on the back get through. She caught sight of the sleeping toddler in the back as he passed her, allowing a smile to spread across her lips as the little boy even had a cycling helmet of his own fastened around his little head.

"Morning." The cyclist nodded to her, watching his feet around the dog, but Hank was too timid to get close enough to the bike.

"Good Morning." Sara smiled back at the man, giving Hank's leash a gentle tug to get him moving again. They passed by a jogger a short distance later, wearing fluorescent yellow running gear and blue headphones that had some kind of punk metal blaring out of them. She didn't look the type to listen to that kind of music, but she had learned over the years as a CSI not to judge a book by its cover.

"Morning." An elderly couple greeted her at the familiar crossing to the children's park that had a dog park on the other side.

The man looked as though he could barely walk with a crutch in each hand and an arched back, but his wife held onto his arm tightly, trying to keep him moving. She spied the wedding ring on each of their hands, smiling to herself as they were still together after all this time.

"First baby?" The woman pried, noticing the size of her stomach right away. "When are you due?"

"Oh, I got two months." Sara tugged her t-shirt down a little, wishing she had worn a different top today. She thought this was a comfortable fit when she first put it on, but it kept creeping up her stomach, revealing her branchy red stretch marks to the world.

"Wow, you look so big already. Probably because you're as thin as a rail. I blew up like a balloon with all of mine." The woman puffed out her cheeks, giggling softly. "I had huge feet, swollen ankles, tree trunk thighs... the only weight you have is that belly."

Sara smiled at her slightly, wondering what it was about her baby bump that made complete strangers want to talk to her.

"Looks like you're carrying a boy." The complete stranger placed her hand on Sara's stomach. "You're carrying low and I can't see a blemish in sight. Girls tend to steal your beauty. I had acne all over my face with my daughter, but with my sons, not a blemish in sight. Good luck, dear."

"Thank you. C'mon, Hank." As soon as the traffic cleared, Sara quickly led him across the road, hearing the screams of children.

From their position on the path, Sara could see the children's playground, watching all the little kids running around wild, while their parents struggled to keep up with them. She cringed watching the children scream, cry, spit, kick and whine.

There was no way she could deal with any of that.

Some of the other parents clearly weren't managing that well either, making her worry that she wasn't cut out for any of this.

Sara turned her attention towards the mother's with strollers passing through the park, pulling Hank back as one of them walked right past her. She had a toddler in the pushchair, an adorable little girl with blonde pigtails and a doll tucked under her arm. She looked a little more behaved than some of the other kids, but she still looked a little sleepy.

"Aww," A woman suddenly cooed, kneeling down beside the dog at Sara's side. "He's so adorable. Is he friendly?" She tucked her hair behind her ears, looking at his adorable little face.

"He doesn't bite." Sara smiled at her, seeing the school aged child stood beside her. "His name's Hank."

"Aww, isn't he lovely?" The mother glanced at her child beside her. "Hi, Hank. Hello. Aren't you just so cute? Yes. Yes you are. Aww. We've been begging Daddy to get us a dog for months." She finally straightened up, revealing her pregnant belly. "Do you have a child that goes here? I haven't seen you here before." She motioned towards the school behind them that Sara hadn't even realised was there.

"Oh no... I was just... walking." Sara pulled the leash back, before Hank tried to jump up at the little girl. "How old do the kids have to be to go here?"

"Oh... new Mom." The woman grinned, spotting the protruding bump in Sara's stomach. "Don't worry, we were all newbie's once. This building here is sort of a pre-k and kindergarten." She turned her attention towards it. "I think they can start as young as three. My little one here started when she was five and she's in the first grade now." She proudly put her arm around her daughter. "It's never too early to sign them up. Do you want me to show you to the office?"

"No... that's okay." Sara shook her head, deciding to stay well clear of anything to do with children for a while. "I still have two months to go, so I think it's a little early. Thank you though."

"Two months, wow. You're in the end stages and you're still so thin." The woman smiled, placing her hand on her own stomach. "This is my second. I'm only twenty one weeks, but I feel as big as a house already. We just found out we're having another little girl last week."

"Oh, you got the gender test?" Sara turned it down at their last scan, not even asking if Grissom wanted to know, because she wanted the whole thing to be a surprise at the end.

"Yeah, the technician told us at our last scan. We were hoping for a little boy this time. More for my husband's sake. He's not so good with all the princess stuff. I'm Lynda, by the way." The woman introduced herself. "This is my daughter, Sophie. She's seven, I know big age gap, right? We thought we were just going to stop at the one, but this one was a nice surprise. So you didn't want to know?"

"No." Sara shook her head, trying to keep up with the woman who babbled a mile a minute. She reminded her a little of Greg, but at least he only did it with people he knew instead of complete strangers. "I'm Sara."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Lynda greeted her with a handshake, feeling the dry skin on the back of her hand. "Dry hands, that's a sign of a boy. Do you live in the area?"

"Yeah... just moving in actually." Sara wasn't usually one to share her personal business, especially with a complete stranger, but she didn't have any friends who had baby's. She didn't actually have any friends outside of work, so she took a moment to get to know someone who was in the same boat as her.

Lynda led her towards the school where she dropped off her daughter, before they made their way towards the park to talk. She seemed to know a lot more than the people at work did about baby's and she had her own rather gruesome tale about the long labour and birth of her daughter, Sophie.

"All that labour pain and literal pain is completely worth it in the end though. I don't think I let anyone hold her for the first few days. Just be careful with your pushing, you don't want to tear everything open down there like I did." Lynda cringed at the thought, placing her hand on her stomach. "I'm having a planned c-section for this one. I don't want to be in hospital for a month and a half again."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah, my doctor practically insisted on it. I was determined to do this one all natural like I did last time, but they all think it's too risky with my previous birth. Don't worry." Lynda tapped her hand, realising she had scared her a little. "I was nineteen when I had, Sophie. They always say that teenagers bodies aren't built for baby's and they were right. I'm sorry, is this too gruesome for you?"

"Oh no..." Sara shook her head. "I deal with gruesome for a living. I'm a crime scene investigator." She didn't let on that she was more than a little freaked out. She knew that all sorts of things could happen during the labour and birth of her baby, but she didn't realise that tearing everything down there was one of the complications.

* * *

"Blood pools are dry." The newbie CSI, Oscar noted, glancing up at his new supervisor, looking for direction. "What do you think happened?"

"There's fresh coffee. Can you smell that?" Grissom ignored the younger man's question, following his nose to the kitchen. He snapped on some gloves, lifting the coffee mug from the machine. "Mmm... timers set for eight o' clock, on the dot. I reset mine every night before I go to sleep. What do you make of the scene? First impressions." He replaced the coffee mug to the machine, giving the man a curious look. He wanted to see how much he knew, wondering how much he had to teach the newbie, before he could become a reliable part of their team.

"If the coffee maker was reset and the blood pools are dry... crime scene must be at least twelve hours old. If there were body's here, they must have been moved. Maybe to a car by the direction of the drag marks."

"How many body's?" Grissom asked him.

The fair haired, Oscar turned his attention towards a photo held to the fridge by a magnet, seeing a mother, father and young child. "Maybe three. Mom, Dad... kid." He pointed out the different sized blood pools. "Do you think they're dead?"

"What do you think?" He turned the question around on him. "C'mon..." He forgot his name for a moment, about to say, Warrick, Nick or Greg, but then he remembered, "Oscar. You must have been sent to us for a good reason. What's your theory?" He encouraged the younger man.

"Well the back door was busted in," Turning on his heels, Oscar scanned the evidence around him, coming up with a few ideas. "There's a knife missing. Perfect weapon of opportunity." He pointed towards the knife block on the side. "Killer came in through the back door, grabbed a knife. The parents probably heard the crash of the glass from the back door, came down to investigate..." He stepped over the first blood pool, looking at the splatter on the doorframe. "It was probably dark, so they came straight in... killer stabbed one of them... then the other."

Grissom realised he had stopped his explanation, giving him a curious look. "What?"

"When you go to investigate a crash in the night, most people bring a baseball bat or something with them." Oscar pointed his supervisor attention towards the fire poker that was out in the hallway. They assumed that it was the killer's weapon of choice, because it had blood splatter on it, but it was positioned right where the second body fell. "A fire poker is easier to swing than a kitchen knife, so why didn't they swing it."

"Maybe they did. We'll know more when we get it back to the lab." Grissom shrugged his shoulders together. "Or maybe they didn't get a chance to."

"Or..." Oscar turned to look at his new supervisor. "They knew whoever it was that broke in. You don't swing at someone you know. Not well anyway."

Grissom smiled proudly at him, realising he was a valuable asset to this team, at least while Sara was away on maternity leave anyway.

When he returned to the lab, the tired supervisor made his way towards the break room to grab himself a coffee. He didn't actually have a break between his shifts, because he stopped off at Sara's place to help her pack her things up after his last shift had ended. He regretted it now as he needed at least four hours of sleep to function, but he still had a long shift ahead of him.

Grissom made his way over to the freshly brewed coffee pot, stopping at the sight of the miniature human sat at the table.

"Oh... hello." He gave her a smile, catching a slight nod from her, before she got back to her colouring. She firmly gripped the purple crayon in her hand, scribbling down the paper she had in front of her in a zigzag motion, before she traded the crayon for a green one.

Grissom looked around confused, wondering if the lab had suddenly started some sort of day care facility without his knowledge. He tended to ignore lab memos, so maybe it was in one of them.

"Hey, I found you a chocolate milk. Sorry, they were all out of fudge." Sofia appeared at the door with two cartons of chocolate milk, stopping in her tracks at the sight of the other man in the room. "Oh, hi Gil. I didn't realise you were here." She awkwardly looked between the man and the child for a moment. "I hope you don't mind. My babysitter just bailed on me. She'll be as quiet as a mouse."

"Oh..." Grissom tried not to look too surprised, but his jaw had already dropped. He watched her giving the child the carton of milk, before she joined him over the other side of the room.

From the look of the child, she was definitely the offspring of Sofia Curtis, but why would she hide something like this? The rest of his lab crew were very open about the fact that they had children, especially since they learned of his own little surprise. Some often shared horror stories or cute baby pictures with him, but Sofia had never breathed a word of her own child's existence.

"Let me guess, you didn't know?" Sofia smirked, folding her arms across her chest. "Why do you think Ecklie took me out of the running for Day Shift Supervisor?" She turned to a more serious tone, sharing a lot more than she would have liked with her new supervisor so soon. "My ex... he left us a few months back. He used to take care of her. His choice. He wanted to be a glorified house husband. He liked it for the first three years, but this last year he was really struggling. He decided that he would rather sleep with another Mom from one of Kara's playmates than take care of her anymore, so we split and I became an unreliable supervisor."

"You never mentioned... not once I believe."

"I lost my job once already because of my choice to become a mother." Sofia pointed out to him, turning to face the rest of the lab. "I don't know how Catherine manages it, but I'd rather that these vultures didn't know anything about her. No offence, but it's hard enough being a woman in this line of work as it is. If they know I'm a mother, I feel like they'll look down at me even more."

"I won't tell." Grissom promised her, watching young, Kara scribbling away on the sheet of paper in front of her. "Ecklie really demoted you because of her?"

"He demoted me because I chose my daughter over the job." She corrected him, muttering, "Sexist prick. He said this was why women didn't make good supervisors. Then he goes and promotes, Willows to my position. I don't know how she managed that one."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Sofia shrugged her shoulders together, turning back to look at her daughter. "I never even told my team. I didn't tell Ecklie, not until I was ducking out early all the time to pick her up or take her somewhere else."

"Married?" He curiously asked.

"Oh no, never. We never went in for that traditional stuff. A little bit like you and Sara, I guess." Sofia smirked, making her way back to the table as her daughter attempted to get up to show her the picture she had drawn. She really didn't seem like the motherly kind in the brief time that he had gotten to know her, but she seemed like a natural with the child that looked like a carbon copy of her.

"Don't let Ecklie see her." He warned her, hoping she wouldn't get into more trouble for letting her stay in the lab.

"Lucky for me, he's in meetings all day... hey, would you mind watching her for me? Just for a few minutes? I've gotta get down to autopsy, before Doc Robbins starts without me and I can't exactly bring her with me down there."

"Oh... I don't know." Grissom anxiously looked towards the door, trying to think of something he urgently had to get to. He only had to wait for lab results to be processed though, so it wasn't really anything urgent.

"Oh, c'mon. It'll be good practice for you. I hear you only have two months to go, before you have your own."

Grissom sighed softly, more annoyed over the fact that the gossip had reached her already. She had only been in the building a few minutes, but someone had already made it their business to discuss his personal life with her. "Just a few minutes." He sternly warned the woman. "I've got a lot of work to do."

"I will and she'll be as good as gold." Sofia promised the man, pecking a quick kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Be a good girl, Kara. I will be right back." She tapped her on the back, giving the man a smile as she squeezed past him.

Grissom stayed in the doorway for a moment, before he turned his attention towards the child. He tended to avoid interactions with children, especially on their cases, unless it was absolutely necessary, but he didn't have a choice this time.

"Kara, is it?" He sat himself down in the chair opposite her, watching her scribbling away with the blue crayon now. She wasn't much of a conversationalist, but she shared her crayons with him, letting him draw his own picture. He drew a giant purple ant for her, trying to teach her the body parts and how ants lived, but she was more interested in feeding her bear a cup of pretend tea.

Kara lost interest with her toys quite quickly after that, wanting to explore the lab a instead. She couldn't handle most of the heavy doors by herself, prompting him to help her. He almost lost sight of her out in the hallway, surprised that someone with such little legs could cover so much distance in a short space of time.

"Hey, boss." The fair haired, Oscar appeared in front of him, looking a little nervous. He watched the child run to the window of the DNA lab, before he glanced up at his supervisor. "Uh... I got the blood work back from our scene. The technician said that there was four people in the house. Three of them are related."

"Three family members, it makes sense." Grissom turned to keep an eye on Kara's whereabouts, trying not to lose sight of her. "Fourth one didn't come up with a match?"

"No... not in the system." Oscar shook his head. "I'm just waiting on fingerprints. Uh... boss," He stepped in front of him, stopping him from walking away. "The Captain guy said the family's car was found a mile away from the house and there's a body in the trunk."

"Is it being towed in?"

"It's here. I was just..." Oscar stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking a little uncomfortable. "I've never seen a dead body before. A fresh one, anyway." He watched the man taking off after the little girl, leaving him stood alone in the hallway for a little while, until he returned.

"Look, I know it's difficult, but it's a part of the job." Grissom turned to teaching mode. "It's best not to think about it too much. Just go down there, breathe in a deep breath and get it over with. Think of the family, solving the crime. The victims are what matters. We are the voice for victims who no longer have one." He turned his attention towards the elevator, smiling at the sight of the familiar face. "Just the man. Greg, meet Oscar the graveyard shift's newest recruit. Fancy being a mentor for the day?" He introduced the two of them.

"Uh... sure." Greg nodded slightly, taking one look at the new boy, before he noticed the child that Grissom was chasing around. "Did Sara have the baby already?"

"No this is... uh..." Grissom bit his lip, trying to think of something else to say, other than outing his colleague that he just promised to protect. He couldn't think of anything that made sense, so he tried to change the subject. "Oscar, why don't you bring, Greg up to speed on your case on the way down to autopsy. I'll let you know when the fingerprints come back. If there's only one of the family members down there, we still have two more to find."

"Sure, boss." Oscar led them the wrong way, getting pointed in the right direction by his new mentor. He liked Grissom's leadership a lot more than he did Sofia's this morning, but they both seemed so distracted, not at all like the great team that his professor had bragged about back in college.

* * *

By the end of her long day out, Sara just wanted to crash and sleep for as long as she could, but she still had to make it home. She let Hank off the leash in Grissom's place, making sure he had water and some food, before she crashed against the sofa for a moment. She went over the list of things to buy in her head, trying to remember everything her new friend, Lynda had told her, along with her mental tally of how many people stopped to ask her about the baby or make a guess on the baby's gender.

One woman was rather judgemental about the fact that Sara wasn't wearing a wedding ring and another was more concerned over the fact that she wasn't planning on getting married then the fact that she was pregnant at all.

Something about her pregnant stomach seemed to give everyone the right to pass judgement on her.

"Hi, Hank." Sara patted the sofa beside her, adjusting the scatter cushion for him to jump up. He rested himself snugly against her side, not even shifting as the baby started kicking at the surface of her stomach. He lifted his head after the third kick, dropping straight back to sleep a moment later. She had noticed that he seemed to warm up to her a lot more since she became pregnant. He used to keep his distance from her or go in another room when she was round, but now, he acted as though he was her protector.

"Sara... honey?" Dropping his keys on the side table, Grissom removed his jacket, smiling as Hank came running towards him. "Hello." He ruffled his fingers through his fur, setting the grocery bag on the side. He made a move for the stairs, figuring Sara was still at her place, until he spotted the beautiful sleeping form on his sofa.

Tiptoeing towards the sofa, the man gently brushed a tendril of hair from her forehead, before he reached for the blanket behind her. He carefully unravelled it across her, anxiously biting his bottom lip as she started to stir. He tucked it around her shoulders, perching himself beside her as her eyes started to open.

"Hi."

"Hey..." Sara brushed the sleep from her eyes, humming softly as she rolled herself over. "What time is it?"

Grissom turned his wrist, checking the time on his watch. "Just after ten. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Fell asleep after our long walk." She smiled at the dog beside her. "We had complete strangers coming up to us, asking when the baby was due and what we were having. Some even made their own professional guesses."

"Some old wives tales actually come from facts."

Sara giggled softly, struggling to sit herself up against the arm of the sofa. "I thought you might say that, so I picked this up." She reached for her purse on the floor, digging out the book she had picked up from the store. "Do you want to find out?"

"I thought you wanted to keep it as a surprise?" He asked, brushing his thumb across the spine of the 'Suspense is Torturous' book. The complete guide to old wives tales and their origins, along with a quiz of fifty one questions to test your own pregnancy with.

"I do. Well, I did." The woman corrected herself, combing her fingers back through her hair. She placed one hand on her stomach, wondering exactly who she was about to become a mother to. "I wanted it to be a surprise at the end, but now, I'm kinda curious. I want to get their room ready and buy all their little clothes. Maybe pick out a name too. Do you want to know?"

"I wouldn't mind knowing." The man smiled, opening the book across his lap. "I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind knowing either. She keeps hoping for a hint. Are you sure about this?" He lifted his gaze to meet hers, seeing the beautiful pregnancy glow in her eyes. He never understood what that was before, but these past few weeks, Sara had really started to glow with happiness over her pregnancy, rather than dreading every second of it.

"I'm sure. Let's see how accurate old wives tales are."

"Highs and lows." He read from the first page. "This one you can do just by looking south, if you're carrying high, break out the pink. If your bump is low, break out the blue."

"I think it's kinda low." Sara smoothed her hands across her bump, not sure how to tell.

"One for boy." Grissom skimmed his eyes across the pictures, before he read from the next section. "Sweet and sour. Craving ice cream every day? Sugary and spice means you're carrying a girl. Salty and Sour means you're carrying a boy."

"I've had a mixture of both."

"But lately it's been a lot of sugar." He corrected her, remembering a recent midnight run to the local doughnut store for a batch of sweet and sticky doughnuts. "One for Girl. If you're breaking out with spots, blame it on your girl. The belief goes that girls steal their mother's beauty, while boys make you more beautiful." Grissom lifted his head, smiling at the beautiful woman. "You're still as beautiful as the day I met you. Two for a boy now."

"You're a terrible liar, but thank you."

"I only speak the truth." Grissom corrected her, turning over the page. "Queasy does it. Sick as a dog during the first trimester indicates a girl. Little or no morning sickness points to a boy."

"Are we going to end up with an even match all the way through this?" Sara found herself some scrap paper on the coffee table, making up a column on the left for boy and a girl on the right. She tallied two in each column, looking back at the man in front of her for the next one.

"Chinese gender predictor. Apparently these are really accurate. Paper and noodles are terrific, but if you're pregnant and dying to know whether you should expect a boy or a girl, consult the Chinese birth chart. Discovered seven hundred years ago, the Chinese gender prediction calendar uses your age and month of conception to predict your babies gender." Grissom turned the page, opening up the calendar. "How old are you, my dear?"

"I'm pretty sure my employer should know that one." Sara grinned widely, sitting herself up a little further. "Thirty two. Month of conception... April."

"Thirty two." The man ran his finger across the chart, finding April halfway down. "It's a girl."

"Three for girl, two for boy now. I still think we're gonna end up fifty, fifty."

"It does say that in bold on the back." The man smirked, tapping his finger to it. "Predicting by the history of parents kids. You can find out the gender by going off the order of children from your own parents. If you are the first born, you will have what your mother had, starting with your second child."

"My brother was second, so does that mean boy?"

"I'm an only child, so it must do." The man shrugged his shoulders together, watching her tallying down another mark on the boy side. "Mood swings. If you're really moody, you're having a girl from the extra hormones inside you. But if you're really happy, you're expecting a boy."

"You can answer that one."

Grissom thought about it for a moment, before he answered, "Boy." He knew she was already a very passionate woman, long before the baby was ever in the picture, so it was hard to tell what was pregnancy mood swings and what was just Sara being her natural self.

"Four for boy, three for girl."

"Clumsy versus Graceful." He continued. "If your new pregnancy body has made you clumsy, you're expecting a boy. If you've been graceful throughout, you're expecting a little girl."

"Boy, definitely. I broke three test tubes the other day, just by walking into a table. I broke a few knickknacks earlier too and I tripped on the curb during our walk today. Hank probably had a good laugh about that." Sara playfully ruffled her fingers through the dogs fur. "What's next?"

"Father's weight gain. If the father to be gains weight while you're pregnant, count on a girl. If he doesn't, you're having a boy." Grissom lifted his gaze, seeing a smile spreading across the woman's lips.

"I'd have to say boy. You've actually lost a little weight since we first started seeing each other." Sara inched forwards a little, wrapping her arms tightly around the man's shoulders. "I love you." She finally said it out loud for the first time, meaning it one hundred percent. She didn't even want him to say it back. She usually waited for her partner in any relationship to make the first move for fear of a broken heart, but she felt safe with Grissom.

The man was a little lost for words at first, not sure what to say or do, until he starting reading aloud from the book again.

Fifty one Old Wives Gender Prediction Tales later, the man tallied up their results, while she made them a bite to eat. She was curious to know what to expect, but at the same time, she was terrified that she wouldn't be able to handle whatever it was. She didn't think she could deal with a pretty in pink girly girl or even a sporty boy that wanted to kick about in the garden with a football, which didn't really leave her with a lot of options.

"Results are in." Grissom joined her in the kitchen, holding back the scrap piece of paper for a moment. "Are you sure you want to know, my dear?"

"Sure."

"But..." He held it just out of her reach. "What if the results tell you something that you don't want?"

"Gil, a few months ago, I didn't want a baby, full stop. Now, I'm really excited and terrified at the same time to have a little boy or a girl. I'm fine with knowing." Sara assured him, wiping her hands down her apron. "It even says that it has a fifty, fifty chance of being accurate. We have a fifty, fifty chance anyway, so it's not like it will really ruin anything."

The man smiled at her, before he turned over the paper to show her. "It's a close call. Thirty one, girl. Twenty, boy. It looks like we might be expecting a little girl, my dear."

The colour drained from Sara's face for a moment. She stared at the piece of paper in his hand, unable to really see it due to the blurriness in her eyes. She couldn't believe it. It wasn't exactly what she wanted or what she didn't want either, which made no sense to her at all. She felt a whole mixture of emotions wash over her, feeling tingles from her toes to her finger tips.

"A girl?" She had to double check, allowing a small smile to spread across her lips.

It was at that moment that she finally realised that this thing taking over her life wasn't just a thing anymore. It wasn't an unknown object anymore. She finally began to understand and see it for what it really was.

Her baby girl.

* * *

 **Thank you so much you awesome readers for reading and reviewing so far!**

 **I'm on holiday this weekend, so I'm uploading at midnight in the middle of the week, so I don't leave you all hanging for another week. Hopefully this update was worth it. The end part of this chapter was actually inspired by a vlog I watched recently where the couple did their own gender test using random old wives tales from a search on Google.** **Newbie CSI, Oscar is a completely made up character, so don't worry, no spoilers to the show there. I'm so behind the times anyway. I just heard from a friend of mine that CSI has actually finished now :( Going to have to track down that final episode someday. And as far as I know, Sofia Curtis on the show was never married or had children, so this is my own little twist to why she lost her shot at being the Day Shift Supervisor.**

 **Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **Enjoy the rest of your week and have a great weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	13. Reconciliation

**Chapter Thirteen - Reconciliation**

Moving out of the way of the busy crowd beginning to form, Sara slid her sunglasses down from the top of her head, finding herself a place to sit and wait. She clutched her bag close to her side, watching a swarm of mothers with strollers making their way towards her. They had no regard for anything in their path, expecting the pedestrians in their way to move or be run down by their monstrous strollers.

Sara hadn't even started to look at baby furniture yet. She figured she would need a crib and maybe a car seat, but she never even thought about getting a stroller. The one up front had three wheels to it. The front one being the biggest and the child was facing front. The one behind had four wheels and two children inside. The smallest one was facing her mother, while the toddler was facing forward, her long legs dragging across the path as the stroller crawled forward.

At this point, it was very unlikely that she would ever need a seat for a second child, so she avoided looking at anymore of the doubles.

Another one further down the line caught her attention, mostly because of the bright orange canopy, but the lightweight build of it suited her needs a lot better than the huge pale blue carriage behind it that looked more like a bed on wheels than a seat for a very small person.

The passing crowd only confused her more, reminding her that she still had to look at cribs, car seats and baby clothes.

Unless her date got here soon, she'd be doing it alone too.

Sara turned her wrist to look at the time, feeling a kick to her stomach as her stomach started to rumble with hunger. They were supposed to grab something to eat after their day out at the baby store, but at this rate, they might have to grab something to eat first. She checked her phone to make sure he hadn't tried to call or leave her a message, but there was still nothing.

Grissom was an hour late now, making it obvious that he had forgotten all about her and their very important shopping trip, focusing on work instead. She didn't even feel mad at him right now. He always prioritised work over anything else. She loved that about him, but it would mean that she would get stuck doing everything by herself, especially where this baby was concerned.

She decided to give him a few more minutes, before she took off towards the store on her own. She had no idea what she was looking for, but the whole store smelled of baby powder and lemons.

"Expecting a baby?" A woman appeared in front of her, grinning widely at her.

Sara quickly disposed of the little onesie she was looking at, feeling a little embarrassed for admiring such a tiny thing. "Yeah, I don't have anything for it yet. Are these newborn size?"

"This is the zero to three months section." The store assistant motioned towards the sign above the section they were standing in. "Newborns grow quite quickly anyway, so you'll want a variety of sizes for your little one. They might be too tiny for some of this stuff when they're born or they might be too big. Are you having a girl or boy?"

"Don't know." Sara shrugged her shoulders together, wondering how accurate their little gender test questions were the other week. Her next appointment with the doctor was in a few days, so she could finally stop referring to the baby as an it and start letting people know.

Sara glanced towards the section set up for baby girls, trembling at the sight of all the pink, soft lilac and beautiful bright colours.

Nothing like her own wardrobe.

A lot of black, charcoal, navy and olive green filled her wardrobe at the moment. She had spiced it up a little since she started dating Grissom, but even her maternity wear was still a lot of dark colours, including today's black tent that made her feel like a whale.

Abandoning the constant questioning of the store clerk, Sara found her own way through the store, making it towards the huge variety of cribs. She liked the look of the simple looking one on the end with mahogany wood bars and a plastic mattress, but it was nearly two thousand dollars. The next one over was a black travel crib with mesh netting around the sides and a super soft mattress, but it was far too big to fit at the end of Grissom's bed.

The cribs with change tables looked very useful, but after she read about all the warnings on the side, she was quickly put off by them.

"I would go for the adjustable one." A familiar voice startled her.

Sara turned to face the man, giving him a warm smile. "Is that your professional opinion? In all your years of experience with... dead bodies and crime scenes?"

Grissom gave her a sheepish smile, adjusting his jacket as he got closer. "Based on my personal research on the subject. Dead bodies and crime scenes are easier to deal with. They're a piece of cake up against all my research on baby's, but yes, I'd have to say it's the best. Adjustable cribs seem to get the best reviews on Amazon. You can have the crib base high up when they're a newborn." He placed his hand on the smooth wooden railing of the crib, running his fingertips across the top. "Then you can move it down when they get a little bigger. The sides come off too, so when they're a toddler, they can climb in and out by themselves."

"It's pricy." Sara lifted the tag, wondering if he caught that one during his research.

"It's for our child." Grissom shrugged his shoulders together. "I can afford it and it's worth it."

Sara smiled slightly, taking a step closer to examine the crib for herself. The wood was really smooth beneath her fingertips. The craftsmanship was beautiful and it felt sturdy enough to support a human being, but it didn't exactly fit the decor of their apartment. "I hope you did your research on everything else we need."

"Ah... I have a list." The man searched through the pockets of his jacket, finding the list he had printed off this morning during his down time. He unfolded the crumpled piece of paper that he had stopped to examine a few times already, handing it over to Sara. "I'm sorry I'm late, my dear. It took a little longer than we expected to wrap our case up."

"We?" Sara felt a hint of jealously in her voice.

"Oscar. The new CSI I told you about. He certainly has potential. Reminds me a little of Greg when he first joined us, without the crazy haircuts and loud music."

"I sense a but coming up." Sara examined the list, sticking close to the man as he seemed to know what he was looking for.

"He's alright. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty, but he asks a lot of questions. He won't take my word for anything. He constantly questions everything I say... portable." He pointed out the change mat. "You can set it down on any surface, floor, back of the car... diaper bag must have."

Sara immediately chuckled, shaking her head at him. "Never thought I would hear you say diaper bag must have." She ran her fingers across the smooth plastic surface of the change mat, feeling a little overwhelmed by the range of colours, designs and shapes that they came in. "I thought you liked that? Questioning every turn, looking at all the possibilities."

"It's the constant questioning that gets on my nerves. You know I like to have some peace and quiet to work out the puzzle in my head. Oscar fills every moment of that silence with a question."

Sara giggled softly, reaching out for his hand to hold. "You know you're going to have a lot of that in a few years. The constant questioning. Daddy why. Daddy how does that work. Are we there yet?"

"Questions I am looking forward to hearing." He assured her, turning for the other side of the aisle, looking over the various change tables they had on display. He seemed to know what he was looking for, so Sara left him to it, rather than asking anymore questions.

Sara felt a little self conscious as they made their way through the rest of the store, seeing the slender figured models with their little baby bumps, while she felt like a blimp. She clutched her jacket tightly around herself, following her partner towards the never ending aisle of car seats.

"I once saw one of these on a crime scene." Grissom noted, tapping the soft interior of the chair.

"Now there's a reason to avoid that one."

"Oh no, the passenger survived." He assured her, running his fingers across the tough little straps. "Three car pileup if I remember correctly. Four dead, two wounded. The baby in this car seat was completely unharmed. He wasn't even crying when the paramedics arrived."

"I don't want anything associated with a crime scene of any kind." Sara shook her head, examining a chair on the other side that caught her eye. She had no idea how to strap it into a car or how to secure a baby inside, but it said it was adjustable from zero to twenty four months. The padding felt soft enough. The plastic exterior felt strong and the straps felt sturdy enough to hold a baby inside. "Why is everything so expensive?" She caught the price tag. "This thing is tiny. This kid is gonna be tiny, but all of this junk is really expensive."

"Sara, we really don't have to worry about money."

Sara almost cringed at the sound of that 'we'. She realised she had brought it on herself by agreeing to move in with him, but it still felt way too soon for 'we' and 'money' to be in the same sentence. "I can't let you buy everything, Gil. Just because I'm carrying a baby that happens to be half yours, it doesn't make me your... if I'm going to live with you, I think I should pay my way."

"Sara, we talked about this."

"I think we should talk about it again. I don't want a free ride." Sara tried to keep her voice down, catching a glance from the woman ahead of them. "Let's face it, Gil. We're not married. If we break up, I have no home and if you pay for everything for this baby..."

"I wouldn't do that to you." Grissom reached out for other her hand, gently weaving their fingers together. "Sara, I don't want to take anything away from you. I'd rather give you everything in the world than take anything from you." He looked into her eyes, giving her a slight smile. "You're already making a huge sacrifice, bringing our baby into the world like this. Let me help you."

"Throwing bags of money at me isn't helping."

"I'm not throwing money at you, Sara. I'm just trying to provide for the future of my child." The man defended himself, wishing she wasn't so guarded about everything. "If you want to pay your way at the house, you can go right ahead. If you want to buy everything for our child, I don't mind. I'm not going to stop you. But you're not on your own anymore, Sara. We're in this together and I'm going to help out anyway I can. I'm the father of this child. I have a responsibility to you and this baby."

Sara sighed softly, more at herself than him. "Can you just tone it down a little?"

"Of course." He nodded, turning to the other side of the aisle. He scanned his eyes across the various models, trying to remember which ones to avoid in case of product recalls. "You know, if this 'we' thing bothers you so much, Sara, maybe we should make it more official."

"I hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting, especially right next to the breast pump aisle." Sara gave the man a slight smile, turning away from him a moment later, so he couldn't see the blush creeping into her cheeks. "Next item on your list, baby bottles and sterilisers." She tried to distract him, keeping hold of his hand at her side.

The next aisle over made her feel even more overwhelmed, wishing Grissom had researched the subject of baby bottles as neither of them had a clue what they were looking for. They stood looking at the bottles for what felt like hours, before a woman finally offered to help out.

After nearly two and a half hours in the store, they had a crib, change mat and bottles picked out. It didn't really feel like enough, but Sara was too hungry to care right now. She smiled across the table at her partner as she indulged herself with another slice of pizza, feeling her stomach finally starting to settle.

"You know, we barely got anything on your list."

"We have some time left." Grissom assured her, trying to think how much time they actually had left at the moment. He knew they were around the thirty five week marker about now, but the due date had slipped his mind again. "We could always sign up for that gift registry thing the woman was talking about. Catherine keeps asking about a good time for a baby shower."

"I don't want a cheesy baby shower."

"It won't be cheesy. It can be whatever you want. I know my mother would love to come." He tried to bring her round to the idea. "Catherine said we could get at least half of what we need from a baby shower and all we have to do is show up and open presents."

"Two things I'm good at." Sara smiled, grabbing herself another slice of pizza. "Okay, I guess I could compromise. I just don't want to play any stupid baby shower games or be the centre of attention. You know how much I hate that."

"Yes, dear." Grissom's lips spread into a wide smile. He grabbed for his phone as it started to ring, seeing the disappointment on Sara's face as he went to answer it. He never liked ignoring calls, unless they were from Ecklie, but this was a special circumstance. He muted the phone, setting it down on the table beside him. "When's the due date?"

"The doctor said January seventh, ball park. I don't think I can really wait that long though." Sara really didn't like being this big all the time. She couldn't wait for this kid to come out now, but the thought of holding her baby for real scared her more than giving birth.

"My mother said I was early. Maybe we'll have a Christmas baby or a New Years baby."

"Christmas being less than a week away?" Sara pointed out to the man, finally noticing the Christmas decorations around the diner they were in. She tended to avoid this particular holiday. Her childhood Christmas' always involved a trip to the hospital, an overnight stay at the police station or waking up to an angry drunk on top of the shattered Christmas tree, while all their gifts had been ripped to shreds and covered with vomit. "I haven't celebrated Christmas in years. Do you think we'll have to do that whole thing for this kid?"

"Maybe."

Grissom shrugged his shoulders together, trying to remember the last time he actually put up a tree or a simple decoration at his apartment. One of the lab technicians once gave him a little Christmas tree to sit on his desk at the lab. He kept it on there for three or four weeks, before the cleaning staff must have disposed of it.

"We could do the traditional tree and presents thing. I don't actually own any decorations, but that doesn't mean that we can't celebrate it. It's a simple enough holiday. Lights, wreaths, candy canes and presents. Christmas movies with a crackling fire place. A visit to Santa in his grotto at the mall."

"Your Christmas' sound very different to mine." Sara ditched the crust on the plate between them, finally full. "I think I remember a social worker taking me to the mall to see Santa once. I wouldn't sit on his lap though. We had always been told by our father that Santa was a fraud. We kinda figured that one out for ourselves when Santa in the form of our father completely destroyed the Christmas decorations in our front room. I miss the smell of Christmas dinner though. It was the one time that my mother actually bothered to cook. She used to sit me on the counter beside her and talk about how her mother taught her to cook from a young age."

"My mother used to make a roast ham every year... I guess that's out of the question."

"You don't have to stop your traditions because of me. I would happily give up my tradition of a cold Chinese takeaway box from the fridge and a whole bottle of wine to myself, with all the bad memories of every other Christmas floating around in my head."

"We can make our own traditions." Grissom swept up the pile of crumbs from the table, dropping them onto the plate in the middle. "Personally, I can't wait to see hear our child's excitement when they wake up in the morning, watching their little face light up as they open their presents. Spending the day together as a family."

"Here I thought you liked your privacy."

"Spending time together as a family is different. My life has changed so much since..." He reached his hand across the table for hers. He held her hand in his, locking their fingers together. "I used to value my privacy. My time to myself. Now I value my time with you. I wouldn't go back to my solitary confinement for anything in the world now. I wouldn't trade my time with you for anything in the world."

Sara gave him a slight smile, before she pulled her hand back. She placed her hands on the large mass in her stomach, thinking things over for a moment. "Do you have to be so calm and casual about everything, Gil? You make me feel as though I'm going through this on my own, because you're so calm, while I'm terrified about everything."

"You think I'm not scared, Sara?"

"Well if you are, you're not showing it. It's annoying." Sara confessed, grabbing her glass to finish the last sip of her soda. She wished she had ordered something flat instead, feeling the bubbles of the soda disturbing her stomach already. "The doctor said we can expect this baby any day now and I'm terrified. What if something goes wrong? What if I've done something wrong during this pregnancy that's gonna screw this kid up? What if it isn't healthy or disabled or something worse?"

"Sara." Grissom reached across the table for her hand, sliding his fingers between hers in a weave to try and comfort her. "I am scared. Any day now, we are about to have a child that is going to be healthy and completely dependent on us for everything. I've only had to take care of myself for such a long time. I've never had to care for someone else. I've never had to care for a baby before, but I want to be there for every moment of their life. I am scared, but my priority is to be there for you. We are in this together."

"Oh..." Sara grabbed her side, feeling something a little stronger than bubbles this time.

"A kick?" He hoped, getting up from his chair to join her round the other side of the table. "Sara."

"It's okay... it's one of those, Braxton hicks things."

Grissom stayed at her side, still concerned for her. "How can you tell?"

"Because I had them before. A few days ago. It doesn't hurt... it's just like this... tightening feeling. I asked the doctor about them the other week. I'm fine, really." Realising that her false alarm had caused a scene in the diner, Sara promptly pushed herself to her feet, wishing to escape the situation. "Let's get out of here, please." She grabbed her jacket, practically running out the door.

Pushing himself up from his position on the floor, Grissom quickly settled up the bill, grabbing the jacket off the back of his chair, so he could hurry after her. He almost forgot his phone on the way out, had it not been for another call from Sofia at the lab.

"Sofia, I can't talk right now."

"I'm sorry, Gil. I know it's your morning off, but we really need you back at the lab. The deputy DA is demanding you on this one. High priority case involving the double murder of a husband and wife."

Grissom stepped out onto the street, expecting Sara to have run a mile by now, but she was stood on the curb outside, looking at the baby store across the street.

"I'm sorry." He spoke into the phone. "I can't. You'll have to find someone else. I'm off duty." Ditching his phone in his jacket pocket, Grissom hurried down the steps, joining Sara on the curb. "Are you sure you're alright? My car is just around the corner. We can head home if you want."

Sara shook her head, motioning towards the store. "We didn't finish."

"What if it was a real contraction?"

"I think the real thing is supposed to last a lot longer." She smiled at him. "It stopped ages ago. Unless you have something more important to do, I think we should continue with what we came out here for."

"You're important." The man held his palm out to her, waiting for her to take his hand. He gave her a smile when she finally did, leading the way across the street. He turned his phone off as they reached the gift registry counter, ignoring any more interruptions as they made their way around the store. They didn't scan anything for the first half hour or so, until Sara found a selection of newborn body suits that would suit their needs.

It came as a pack of four, each with their own adorable little animal stitched into the chest.

A few minutes later, they found a baby sling carrier that either of them could wear and easily carry the baby around. A Moses basket caught their eye in the next aisle over, followed by a selection of cuddly toys, cosy swaddling blankets, a spinning mobile, a baby nightlight, pacifiers and a selection of bibs.

On their way home, Sara flipped through their printed list from the gift registry counter, wondering if they really needed all of this stuff for one little person. She compared it with her partner's list of essentials, realising they had missed a few things on their way through. "We never found that bath thing." She realised, giving out a soft sigh as the man pulled into his driveway. "Or a baby thermometer."

"They have really good ones at the drug store." Grissom tried to put her mind at ease, climbing out the car first as they arrived home. He ran round the passenger side to help her out, before he grabbed the few things that they did buy from the back. "We can probably get a better deal on the baby proofing gear from the store too. I had a look while I was there the other week."

"I wouldn't figure you were the type to go completely nuts on the baby proofing." Sara smiled at him, grabbing the pack of baby towels from his hands, while he grabbed the heavier box containing the crib.

"It's just a little research." The man just about managed to get the crib inside the house on his own, sliding it behind the sofa, so it was out of the way for now. "I think we should get the essentials. A safety gate for the stairs, the drawer stoppers and maybe the soft edges for the tables and things."

"You really do think of everything, don't you?" Sara dropped to the sofa, stroking Hank's forehead as he came to greet her.

"We'll have to introduce new smells to Hank over the next few weeks. Baby powder and things, so he gets used to the scent. He'll accept the baby quicker if he's already used to the smell." After setting down the box with the baby jungle gym inside, Grissom joined her on the sofa, relieved to remove his shoes after a long day. "We'll have to keep him out of the bedroom once they're born. Keep an eye on him. I'm sure he'll be fine around them though. He's never gone for a child when we were out walking."

"No, you're a good boy, aren't you?" Sara ruffled the fur on his chin, noticing that he barely gave Grissom a second look anymore. His attention was completely focused on her, making her feel a little guilty. "I still have a mountain of unpacking to do. Maybe you should take Hank for a walk."

"Are you sure? I could help you unpack."

"No, I'll be fine." She held her lower back, hobbling towards the stairs. "I might take a nap first. I've only been awake for four hours, but I feel exhausted already. And all the baby books say to get as much sleep as you can before the baby arrives."

"Hank will be alright for a while longer." Grissom climbed to his feet, joining her at the top of the stairs. "If you don't mind... I would like to join you."

Sara gave the man a smile, before she nodded, taking his hand. She kicked off her comfortable shoes at the door to his bedroom, finally removing her jacket as she crawled onto the bed. Her partner did the same, resting himself against the pillow beside her. He looked at her as though she was the only who mattered in the whole wide world, bringing a wide smile to her lips.

"The baby's kicking." She spoke softly, reaching for his hand. She guided it towards her stomach, seeing a smile spread across his lips as he felt the soft prods of their tiny foot through her skin. "There's one thing we never discussed."

"What's that then?"

"The baby's name." She knew it was going to be a difficult subject to bring up, but she figured it was better to discuss it now before they were here. "Their surname to be exact. We're not married, so which name do we choose? Do we double barrel it or do we just pick one of them?"

"I think that should be your choice, my dear."

"I'm handing the decision over to you." Sara insisted, propping her arm under her head. "C'mon Gil, you haven't really made one decision by yourself about this baby. You keep saying that you want to be involved. I want you to be involved, starting with making a decision about their surname. It's your child too. What do you want?"

The man thought about it for a moment, wondering if she would be mad with his decision. He wanted to please her, but he also wanted his family name to live on. "If it's alright with you, I would like our baby to have my name." He admitted, smoothing his hand across her stomach. "So one day we can be a real family. You, me and our child. So we all belong."

"That's fine with me." Sara smiled with relief. "I spent half my life feeling as though I didn't belong anywhere. I never want my child to feel that way."

"I pray that they never will." Grissom spoke softly, inching himself forwards to press a kiss to the centre of her forehead. He put his arm around her to hug her close, listening to her soft breaths as she started to doze off to sleep.

When he was sure that she was asleep, the man felt brave enough to whisper, "I love you, my dear."

But thankfully, Sara was still half awake, grateful that she finally heard every word.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far!** **Hope you enjoyed this next chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	14. Aftermath

**Chapter Fourteen - Aftermath**

Stepping into the busy lab, Grissom glanced at his watch, making sure he had got the right time. He wasn't early, he was right on time for his shift, but the place was still bustling with life. He signed himself in at the front desk, giving Judy a smile as she jumped to answer the phone again. He turned towards the lab behind him, stopping just outside of the print lab, watching Mandy darting back and forth from her computer to the table in the middle of the room. She had a look of concentration on her face that he didn't want to disturb, but he couldn't figure out what she working on from here.

"Kidnapping." Catherine caught up to him in the hallway, checking the time on her watch. "Right on time for a change. What's the matter, Sara kick you out?"

"I just left her sleeping actually." Grissom defended himself, wondering why he even told her that much. "A kidnapping?" He rapidly tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, case started out as a murder. Katrina Langley. A single mother that recently just moved to Las Vegas. She had a steady job in a casino, until she accused one of her male colleagues of rape. She was supposed to appear in court yesterday. Her mother stopped by to check on her last night and found her daughter hanging from the ceiling." Catherine handed him the file from her hands, showing him the crime scene photos. "At first we thought suicide, but Albert ruled it out in autopsy. Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the back of the head. There was glass in the wound. She was dead long before someone decided to string her up from the ceiling. Lucky for us, our murder suspect left DNA all over the place. He's down in custody now."

"The kidnapping?" He got back to his original question.

"I was just getting to that. Katrina Langley's son, Adrian, ten years old." Catherine turned the page, tapping the picture of him. "Her mother assumed that he was with his father while the trial was going on. We only just got in touch with him an hour ago. He's been in Hawaii with his PA for the past three months. Hasn't seen his son since then."

"Did you question your murder suspect?"

"C'mon Gil, I'm not a rookie." Catherine rolled her eyes at him, leading the way towards her office. "We've been questioning the junkie for over an hour now, but he has no idea. He claims that he didn't even know that she had a kid. Not exactly sure whether to believe him or not though. He's not exactly a reliable source. We've been trying to sober him up to get a straight answer out of him. He's still down there begging for his next fix. We're working the kidnapping angle now."

"Can I help?"

The woman turned to face him as she reached her office door, presenting him with a smile. "I thought you'd never ask. Good to see you again, Gil." She unlocked her door, grabbing the file from her desk. "I've got a scene for you to check out. We just got a warrant for our junkie's house. You can take your rookie along with you. Brass is on his way there now. We're still looking for our primary crime scene, hopefully we'll get lucky. You work the murder with your fresh eyes, while we work the kidnapping."

"Okay." Grissom grabbed the address from her, giving her an awkward smile as he stepped towards the door. "What is it, Catherine? Do I have something on my face?" He couldn't help but notice how she was looking at him.

"No, I was just looking at you. You're glowing, Gil." She smiled at the man, organising the files on her desk. "You don't have much longer to go now, are you excited?"

"About?" He genuinely looked confused.

Catherine chuckled softly, shaking her head at him. "Starts with B ends with Y. Honestly, Gil. You can't be that out of it so soon into your shift." She grabbed the files related to this case, joining him out in the hallway. "The due date is coming up soon, right?"

"Yes... less than three weeks away." He realised, getting the door for her. "Where are you off to with all of that?"

"Oh, I have to debrief the lab director. Ecklie demanded that we make it all official upstairs with all the authorities. The press have already got hold of it, so he wants to be prepared before he gives them a statement in a few hours."

"But we don't have anything yet."

"Exactly." Catherine cackled with laughter. "You know that's how Ecklie works. He'd rather run straight ahead blindfolded then wait for a little thing called evidence. Let me know if you find anything at the junkies house and don't be late to the baby shower. It doesn't really work if the parents of the baby in question don't even show up."

"We'll be there." Grissom assured her, wishing her luck as she made her way towards the elevator. He knew she'd need it where Ecklie was concerned.

The man knew nothing about what they really did around here. He would rather sit around all day playing lab politics then do anything to help save a life.

"I don't get it. Why do we have to search the dead beat junkies house?" The rookie CSI complained, watching his footing as he stepped over the bits of broken glass, fast food wrappers and the stray needles that littered the junkies floor. The whole house reeked of stale bong water. The windows were covered with bin liners and cardboard boxes. The bathroom smelled like something died in there, but he was too afraid to look.

"Because it's part of the job, Oscar. There's no sign of the child here." Grissom bent low to the ground, pointing the light of his flash light towards the heap of magazines beneath the coffee table.

"Something we should probably be grateful for. This house is a death trap. My grandmother used to be a hoarder. She never cleaned a day in her life, but her house looked better than this." Oscar watched his footing, afraid he'd catch something if he got too near any of the needles. "Why aren't the FBI involved in this? Isn't that protocol?"

"I believe they're being debriefed on the case right now. Less talk, more search."

Grissom scanned his light across the floor, searching for anything that didn't have a thick layer of dust on the top of it. He didn't know how someone could live like this. He himself had just spent the day cleaning his old office from top to bottom, ready to be painted for their baby's nursery. He didn't realise how dirty it was until he was on his hands and knees scrubbing the walls. He last had the decorators in over ten years ago. He had slacked on the cleaning a little, but it had never got this bad.

"Stop!" He suddenly shouted at the younger man, cautiously pushing himself to his feet. He approached the rookie, pulling him back slightly, before he bent to tweeze the hair from the floor.

"How did you even see that?" Oscar looked impressed.

"A trained eye." Grissom raised it a little higher, examining the thin blonde strand between the blades of his tweezers. "Did you have a read through the original case file on our way over here?"

"Uh... yeah." The younger man nodded, gulping softly. He flipped through it on the drive over, but he hadn't exactly retained any information. He was more nervous about starting up another shift with the boss man then reading through the details of the case he was about to work.

"Catherine's victim, do you remember what colour her hair was?"

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders together, catching the scowl his supervisor was giving him. "Oh... uh, in the driver's licence picture she was a brunette, but in the autopsy photos, she was a blonde."

Grissom smiled, bagging up the hair as evidence. "Did you happen to read her tox report too?"

"I... glanced at it." Oscar scratched his head. "Do you think that she was here?"

"You tell me. What do you see?" He took a step back from the scene, letting the younger man examine it for himself. "Look for something that's out of place." Grissom searched his kit for the report, looking through it for himself. He skipped ahead to the autopsy report, realising that Albert had found track marks on their victims arms. He assumed that the junkie was just a random guy that was hired to take her out, but if the hair came back a match to her, they would have to change the angle of their case.

"I don't know." Oscar carefully stepped around their scene, running his flashlight across the junk that littered the floor. "Burger wrappers, a half eaten burrito... needles, a broken bong... there's so much junk here, how can you tell what's evidence and what's just... junk?"

"It's all technically evidence, Oscar. Everything laid out before you can tell you a story of what kind of person we're dealing with. From the condition of this place, I can tell that this person clearly has no respect for their home and they're not exactly bothered about hygiene either. By the individual items, I can tell that they're a fan of fast food. Particularly burgers and takeaway pancakes." The man motioned towards the boxes piled up in the kitchen. "What do you see, Oscar?"

"I don't know."

"Don't say you don't know. Look." Without losing his temper, Grissom motioned the younger man to the scene laid out in front of him. "Use your eyes. What do you see?"

"Needles."

"What does that tell you?"

"Junkie." Oscar shrugged his shoulders together, directing the light of his flashlight towards something else. "Empty pill wrappers. He's a pill popper too. There's crumbs on the sofa. Probably chips." He spied the packet near the coffee table, glancing at the broken bong once again. He bent to his knees a moment later, seeing a dried blood smear on a few pieces of glass. "Looks like blood. Like somebody used the bong as weapon."

"And how do we test for blood?"

Following his supervisor's direction, Oscar grabbed what he needed from his kit, positively testing the dried smear for blood. He bagged it up for evidence, coming up with his own conclusions to explain their victim's demise.

After a few hours gathering all the evidence that they could from the junkie's house, Grissom drove them back to the lab, sending Oscar off to the lab with their evidence, while he checked in with Catherine. Unlike the busy lab upstairs, the police station was practically empty. He found his way towards the conference room that was rarely ever used, examining the investigation into the missing child pinned up on the wall, before he started flipping through the file left on the table. He pulled his glasses out from his pocket to take a closer look, noticing some similarities to his scene.

"Gil, there you are." Brass found him bent over the table. "Are you working the kidnapping case with Willows?"

"Not exactly, where were these photos taken?" He motioned his attention towards the pictures on the table.

Brass joined him round the other side of the table, looking at the photos of the plain looking garden scattered across the table. A few of them had the missing child playing football in them, but the others were just of random sections of the garden. "Uh... I believe they pulled them from the victim's phone. It's not her garden or her ex husband's. She's got a ton of them on there though. Why?"

"This is our junkie's garden." Grissom straightened up, lifting one photo from the table. "It doesn't look like this anymore. Grass is overgrown, flowers are dead and the patio is covered with stale cigarette butts, but this is his garden." He flipped it over, looking for a date. "Were they romantically involved?"

"Katrina's mother never mentioned anything. Neither did our junkie." Brass shook his head.

"Is he still here?"

"Yeah. I'll get someone to bring him up to interrogation for you." Brass turned for the door, giving the man behind him a quick smile. "It's good to have you back, Gil."

"I was only out for two days, Jim." Grissom collected up the photos, following him towards the interrogation room.

"Forty eight hours without you in the lab is a long time, Gil." He smirked, opening the door for him. "I'll go get your guy. His representation is still in the station. This kid doesn't know his ass from his elbow, so he won't give you any trouble. I hear you're having a baby shower tomorrow." Brass changed the subject, giving him a smile. "I wouldn't think that was your sort of thing."

"It's not... really, it's for my child."

"Nice hearing you say that." Brass nodded, taking a few steps away from him. "First time you hold your child... nothing like it in the world." He paused for a moment, remembering the first time he held Ellie in his arms. He guessed that she wasn't biologically his long before she was born, but that first time he held her, all he wanted to do was protect her and watch her grow. She was his, no matter what anyone said.

"You're coming aren't you?" Grissom double checked.

"Oh yeah, got a gift all wrapped up and everything. It'll be nice to see, Sara again. Is she coping alright with the pregnancy?"

"Fine." The other man took his seat at the table, not sure what else to add. He busied himself with the report in front of him, waiting for Brass to return with the suspect. He felt as though he knew the man already after spending hours going through his house, but he still had no idea what he even looked like or how he rationalised what he had done to this woman.

"Hey... you don't need to be pushing me." A man in tattered jeans stumbled through the door a few minutes later. His wife beater vest had dried vomit down the front. The lumberjack shirt he was wearing over the top needed a serious wash and his hair looked like a rats nest. "I want my lawyer."

"Yeah, he's on his way." Brass secured the handcuffs to the table, giving them a tug to make sure they were secure. He made his way towards the door to let the lawyer in, rolling his eyes as the young man dropped his briefcase, sending his papers flying across the hall. "Do you want us to wait some more?"

"Uh... yeah, sorry." The man scrambled across the hall on his hands and knees, scooping up his paperwork into one pile. He hurried through the doorway, dropping a few more in his haste to get to the table.

The Captain rolled his eyes, closing the door behind him, before he joined Grissom on the opposite side of the table.

"Do you know this woman?" Grissom started by sliding a photo of the deceased across the table. He was more interested in the suspect's physical reaction than any answer that came out his mouth.

For a brief moment, the man's eyes focused the victim's face. He looked like someone with a broken heart, until he pushed the photo away from him, shaking his head. "Never seen her before."

"Less than a few hours ago, you told us that you murdered her." The Captain reminded him, expecting the lawyer to interject, but he was too busy sorting through his paperwork. "Your DNA was found all over the crime scene..."

"She was in your house." Grissom interrupted the other man, wishing he had requested to carry out this interrogation by himself. He grabbed the other photos of his garden, sliding them towards the man. "By these photos, it looks as though you two knew each other pretty well. You knew her son. He played football in your yard."

The suspect's features turned a little pale as he examined the new photos. "So what if I knew her?"

"My theory is that you were romantically involved for a while. You two got into drugs together. Things got out of hand..."

"You don't know shit about us!" He barked at Grissom, rattling the chains around his wrists. "Kat never got into any of that shit, before she got attacked by that animal. They wouldn't do a thing about it. He was gonna get off. The trial was just for show."

"Kat." Grissom nodded slightly, clasping his hands together on the table. "If you cared about her so much, why did you try so hard to make her death look like a suicide?"

The junkie sighed softly, looking at his hands confined in their chains. "Her kid. He didn't deserve any of that crap that she put him through. She was gonna kill herself anyway."

"But you beat her to the punch?" Brass asked him, catching a glare from the suspect, only it wasn't directed at him. He looked at the fumbling lawyer beside him as he attempted to say something, realising he had been told something in confidence. "Why'd you string her up in her own home, Keith? Did she disgust you that much?"

"No."

"Did you kill her because she wouldn't give you the cash for your next fix?"

"No!"

"Were you tired of sharing the drugs with her?"

"No. You don't know anything about us."

"You wanted her dead so badly, then when you finally took that swing at her, you couldn't stand the sight of her anymore?"

"No! It wasn't me, okay?" Keith snapped, turning paler than the white wall behind him.

Grissom followed the man's gaze towards the photo of Adrian playing football sat on the table, realising he was covering for him. "Her son killed her." He concluded, seeing the recognition in the man's eyes.

"That's not how it was." He refused, shaking his head at them both. His voice broke with emotion that Grissom had never heard from a suspect before. "It was me. I already told you that. I killed her."

"Where is Adrian, Mr Allen?" Brass queried.

"I don't know."

"He's a ten year old boy!" Brass shouted. "What did you do with him?"

"Nothing!" The suspect yelled, looking at his lawyer for some guidance, but the man looked as though he was about to wet himself.

"Mr Allen," Grissom spoke softly, moving the photo of Adrian closer towards him. "You care about them. Both of them. We need to find, Adrian. He's vulnerable out there on his own. In order to find him, we need the facts. We know that you didn't kill her. Your prints don't match the murder weapon." He didn't have the results back from their evidence yet, but he was running on a theory. "Just tell us what happened."

"If you didn't do this." Brass offered his assistance.

"I think you should tell them what you told me." The lawyer finally spoke.

Kevin rolled his eyes, pushing the photo of the child away from him. "He was screaming at his mother that she did nothing for him. Then he hit her and she wouldn't get up. When I realised that she was dead, he took off. I had to get her out of there. I thought he'd go home, but he never showed up. I swear, I didn't do anything to him. I love that kid like a son. If I knew where he was, I'd tell you, but I don't. He's all I have left of Kat."

Climbing up from the table, Grissom terminated the interrogation, stepping out into the hallway for a moment to think. He removed his glasses, putting his back to the cold concrete wall.

Cases involving children were always hard to deal with, but they never affected him like this before. He wanted to go home, steal a drink from Brass' secret stash in his desk drawer or lock himself away in his office, but he knew that he couldn't do any of that until the case was closed.

"Hey Gil, you alright?" Brass caught up to him.

"You better let Catherine know." Grissom straightened up, avoiding his question. "Her missing boy has been on his own for nearly forty eight hours. He's ten years old. Scared... alone. And he just killed his mother."

"We'll find him. I'll call the task force on the kidnapping now." The Captain pulled his cell out of his pocket, putting a call straight through to Catherine. He finished up with the call a few minutes later, finding himself alone in the hallway. He made a quick sweep around the station to see where the lab supervisor had disappeared to, finding himself alone.

* * *

"That was Brass, we're going to have to broaden our search a little." Ditching her phone on the hood of the car, Catherine anxiously ran her fingers through her hair as she examined the map in front of her. "Adrian was the one who killed his mother. He ran off when she realised that she was dead and the idiot boyfriend decided to stage a suicide, rather than run after the kid."

"The junkie and the Mom were dating?" Greg found that hard to believe. The only link that they had was the drugs.

"Yeah, so he's been on his own for nearly..." The woman consulted her watch. "Forty eight hours now. Brass has sent a squad car back to the house. He's got one watching the junkie's place. FBI have someone watching the father..."

"So, where are we supposed to start looking?" Greg interjected. "We don't know anything about this kid."

"If you were ten years old, where would you go if you were scared out of your mind?" Nick joined them around the hood of the car. "Gris just texted me. He's got a lead. Adrian loves football. His father used to take him to this club about a mile from his school."

"I hate it when he does that." Catherine rolled her eyes, giving out a soft sigh. "Alright, Greg with me. Nicky, find your partner. You can tell him if he misses another shift, his ass is canned." She warned him, gathering up her supplies off the hood, before she climbed into the driver's seat.

Nick waved them off, giving Warrick another call, but just like before, there was still no answer. "C'mon man... where are you?"

"What are we supposed to do with a case like this?" Greg asked, fastening his seatbelt over his shoulder as Catherine took off towards the football club. "Do you have many ten year olds whacking their mothers off like this? What's the justice for something like this?"

"It's up to the court to decide what happens to this kid. Not us, Greg. We're just the ones who have to find him." She pointed out to him, opening her visor to look at the pictures of her daughter inside. "There is no justice. A life for a life is never justice. He's ten years old. He just killed the one person who loves him more than anything in the world. Or supposed to anyway." Catherine snapped her visor shut, giving the younger man a half smile. "You'll understand that one day. You got any plans for children in your future?"

"Maybe one day." Greg shrugged his shoulders together. "Hopefully before I reach Grissom's age."

"Ouch. How old do you think he is, Greg?"

"I don't know... he's gotta be pushing sixty or something by now, right?"

Catherine laughed, shaking her head at him. "He's only forty six, Greg. I'd hate to ask how old you think I am." She directed her car into the parking lot, pulling up alongside Grissom's. "Watch the door. Wait for backup." She unclipped her seatbelt, giving him a smile as she climbed out the car.

"Backup? He's a ten year old boy."

"By the book, Greg. You should know the drill by now." Catherine grabbed her vest from the back of her car, fastening it into place as she made her way towards the building. It was nearly one in the morning, so the parking lot was empty and the building was completely in the dark. She used the light of her flashlight to find her way around, keeping her hand on her holster, just in case. She wasn't expecting much of a fight from the scared ten year old, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

A few feet down the corridor, she heard the echo of a familiar voice. She followed her senses towards a set of double doors, spotting Grissom sat in the stands. His flashlight was pointed downwards, but she couldn't see anyone or anything in his line of sight.

Easing the door open, Catherine took a cautious step inside, catching her colleague looking in her direction.

"This is my colleague, Catherine, that I was telling you about." He motioned his attention towards her. He ushered the woman closer, giving her a reassuring smile as she approached. She spotted the child sat with his back to the wall, clutching his knees tightly to his chest. "Catherine, this is Adrian." He patted the seat beside him, indicating for her to join him.

"Hi, Adrian." Catherine eased herself into the chair, giving the child a slight smile. "You've got a lot of people looking for you out there."

"Because I did a bad thing?"

"Yeah, sweetie." She spoke softly, noticing the mini fire truck sitting beside him. "Do you like firemen?"

"My Dad bought it for me. It's kinda babyish." Adrian reached for the toy, spinning the wheel with his finger, before he pushed himself to his feet. He took a few steps closer towards the two CSIs, holding the fire truck out to Grissom. "Will I have to live with him now?"

"It's not really our place to say." Grissom grasped his fingers around the truck, noticing the blood splatter on the child's sleeve. "We can take you to see your mother now."

"Gil." Catherine hissed his name.

"He wants to say goodbye." He simply explained, pushing himself to his feet. He didn't blame the child for her death. He knew that he was responsible for it, but he didn't believe that he was at fault. "It's okay, Catherine." Grissom guided the child towards the exit, shielding his eyes from the flashing lights of the police cars as they made it outside.

Adrian grabbed hold of his hand at his side, clutching it tightly as they made their way towards the Captain's car. He wouldn't let go at the door, so Grissom climbed in first, putting his seatbelt on for him once they were inside.

The child anxiously looked out the window the whole drive back to the station, holding onto Grissom's hand the whole time. He gulped as the police station finally came into view, feeling a tear running down his cheek.

Captain Brass pulled into his usual spot, breathing out a soft sigh as he climbed out of the car. He felt the bitter cold of the night nipping at his skin, followed by an eerie chill running down his spine as he reached for the handle of the passenger door, letting out their ten year old murder suspect.

The whole station seemed to stand still as they made their way inside. He had never seen his deputies so still before. It was as though the whole station had been frozen in time.

"I'll uh..." Brass motioned towards the elevator. "I'll go see if Albert is ready for us, are you sure about this, Gil?" He had to check. It wasn't exactly protocol, but Grissom felt as though it was in the best interest of the child to say goodbye to his mother. "Alright... you can... you can wait in my office."

"C'mon, Adrian. We'll say goodbye in a minute." Grissom led the way. "Catherine, can you find him something to eat?"

"Sure. There should be something in the staff room for him." Catherine grabbed Greg's arm beside her, pulling him towards the staff room with her. She didn't want him asking anymore questions about what was going to happen now, fearful about the impact that this would have on a child of Adrian's age. "You got some change, Greg?"

"Is this how we treat murderers now? I thought we didn't give special treatment to anyone. No matter the circumstances, we don't get attached."

Catherine sighed, shaking her head at him. "You still have a lot to learn, Greg. Do me a favour? Go to the lab and get us some supplies. We're going to need Adrian's clothes, swabs... my camera should have a new roll of film inside. Tell Judy to give his father another call. He was on the first flight over here."

"Fine." Greg turned on his heels, grabbing the door to the staff room.

"And Greg." Catherine called after him. "Tell me if Warrick's decided to show up yet."

"Okay." Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Greg made his way towards the elevator, spotting Grissom making sure their little murderer was comfortable sitting on Brass' leather sofa. He rolled his eyes as stepped into the open elevator, making his way up to the lab floor. He spotted Warrick ducking into the locker room as the doors opened, hurrying after him to see where he had been, but Nick beat him to the punch.

"Where the hell you been, man? Catherine called in an all hands on deck hours ago. We've been tryin' all your numbers, but you haven't been answerin' any of them."

"I had something to do." Warrick shrugged it off, ditching his jacket into his locker. "I'm here now."

"It's too late now." Nick snapped at him. "We needed you and you weren't there." He slammed his locker shut, storming past Greg on his way out.

"You got a beef with me too?" Warrick noticed the younger man in the doorway.

"I don't know what's going on with you, Warrick. But you need to get your priorities straight." Greg advised his mentor, feeling as though he was out of the loop since their shift had been separated. He had enjoyed working with them again over the past few hours, but they all seemed so different.

He grabbed what the needed to process their murderer's clothes into evidence, taking it down to Grissom to deal with.

"Any news on Warrick?" Catherine stopped him at the door.

"Yeah, he's just arrived." Stepping into the office, Greg dropped the kit onto desk with a heavy thud, giving his supervisor a glare as he made his way his way out again. Not willing to hear another lecture, he pulled away from Catherine, making his way back to the lab upstairs.

"What's his problem?" Grissom glanced towards the door at Catherine.

"Long day." Catherine sighed softly, grabbing herself some gloves. "I can take care of him for a little while. Brass said it will be a few more minutes before she's ready. Go ahead Gil, take five." She assured him, giving him a smile, before she sat herself down on the coffee table in front of Adrian. "Hi, Adrian. Can you hold your hands up for me like this?" She instructed him, grabbing a swab from the kit.

Grissom turned for the door, spotting the prying eyes of the deputies in the corridor. "Can I help you gentlemen?" He watched them quickly trying to busy themselves with work, leaving the hallway empty once again. He checked his phone for messages, spotting Sofia running for the ladies with blotchy eyes.

It appeared that the whole team was on edge today.

"Gil, the press are going to need a statement about this mess you've got us into." Ecklie caught up to him. "How is this going to look? I thought we had our murder suspect in custody already?"

"The evidence led us to the real murderer." Grissom simply stated, giving the man a smug smile. "It's your own fault for jumping ahead of the evidence again, Conrad. Keith Allen will still be charged. He should have called an ambulance. He moved the body clear across town, then tried to stage her death as a suicide. He stopped to get high somewhere in between, forgetting all about the ten year old boy for two days that we've been searching for all night."

"The press are going to see this as sloppy police work."

"Not my problem." Grissom stepped past him, slotting his phone back into his pocket. "We could use some backup to cover the new cases coming in. As acting supervisor for day shift, you should put in a call to your team."

"Absolutely not." Ecklie shook his head, following him down the hall. "They only just finished their shift a few hours ago. They need their sleep to function for their next shift. They need time to be with their families."

"And my guys have been on shift for the past..." He consulted his watch. "Eighteen hours. They need a rest."

"They're not your guys anymore, Gil." Ecklie turned the other way. "I'll dismiss Catherine and her team after we get through this press conference. Have your guys cover the new cases. I'll see if I can get anyone in to back you up."

"Thank you, Conrad." Grissom grinned at him, taking off as he spotted Sofia leaving the ladies. He followed her into the staff room, closing the door behind him. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh..." Sofia hid her face from him, quickly wiping her eyes. "Yeah... yeah... I'm okay." She grabbed herself a coffee mug. "Do you want one?"

"No, thank you." He joined her at the counter. "This case has hit everybody hard."

"It's not..." Sofia composed herself, showing her face to Grissom, revealing her puffy red eyes. "It's not the case. It's... personal and it's my business. I don't want to spread my personal business around the lab. I'm sorry okay, I won't let it affect my work."

"Whatever it is, you don't have to go through it alone."

"It's Kara." The woman sighed softly, filling her mug with coffee. "Her father is seeking sole custody. If he wins, he's taking her out of state. I might never see her again."

"I'm sorry." Grissom reached for her hand on the counter, giving it a gentle squeeze for comfort. "If there's anything I can do."

Taking her supervisor sign of comfort the wrong way, Sofia made a sudden advancement towards him, just barely capturing his bottom lip for a kiss, before he managed to pull himself away. "Oh... God... I'm... I'm sorry, Gil." She rushed for the door to escape her humiliation, bumping into Warrick on her way out.

"Warrick." Grissom quickly pushed himself to his feet from the counter. "I thought Catherine said that you weren't in today."

"Yeah... I had uh... some personal business to deal with. What were you doing with Sofia?"

"Nothing. This personal business." He rapidly changed the subject. "I thought we talked about this gambling problem during office hours?"

"You're not my super anymore, Gris, so I don't have to answer to you."

Ignoring his attitude, Grissom warned him, "I'm still your superior. You're going to have to come up with those answers for Catherine's questions. Or you'll find yourself on the end of a suspension."

"Are you threatening me, after what I just saw?" Warrick took a step closer, feeling as though he didn't even know the man anymore.

"What do you think you saw, Warrick?"

"Children, stop bickering." Catherine burst in on them. "We've got a problem."

"What now?" Grissom rolled his eyes.

"Adrian. He split."

"What?" The man fumed, charging out the door with her. "Why weren't you watching him?"

"I was." She defended herself, feeling bad enough already. "I left him alone with one of the deputy's for two minutes, while I took his clothes up to the lab. I just dropped them off with Wendy. When I came back, he was gone and the deputy swears that he didn't see him leave."

"Find, Jim." Grissom shoved the deputy stood watching the door. "He can't have got far." He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair. "Alright, lock the building up. Split up. I'll check autopsy. He was really anxious to see his mother."

"Alright, I'll put out an alert."

"In house only." Grissom called after her, fearing the impact this would have on Ecklie's press conference later. He jammed his fingers into the button for the elevator, waiting for a few seconds, before he ran for the stairs. There was no telling how much this experience had already damaged their young murder suspect. He didn't want him seeing his mother sprawled out on an autopsy table like that.

He could protect him from that.

"Warrick, nice of you to finally show your face." Catherine sarcastically remarked, looking in the direction of her colleague. "What took you so long to answer all your calls?"

"Can we talk about it later? Who's this missing kid?"

"Wanted for the murder of his mother." She gave him the short version. "Ten years old. It can't be that hard to find him in a building full of cops. Even for you." Catherine gave him a smug smile, before she took off for the stairs. "Keep your phone on!"

"Yeah." Warrick pulled his phone out of his pocket, rolling his eyes at the hundreds of missed calls, along with the unanswered texts. He stuffed it back into his pocket for later, catching sight of the little person sat beneath the table in the staff room. "Hey." He knelt down to his level, spotting the bag of chips in his hands. "Chicken or beef?"

"Barbeque." Adrian answered, holding the bag out towards him.

"Thanks." Warrick grabbed himself a chip, stuffing it into his mouth. "What are you doing in here?"

"People keep staring at me out there. Wanted to be alone." The child shrugged his shoulders together, grabbing himself another handful of chips. "Is everyone mad at you too?"

"Looks like." He sat himself against the wall beside him.

"Is that guy your Dad?"

"Grissom? Nah." Warrick shook his head. "He's the closest thing to a father I've ever had though. My Dad bailed on us when I was a kid."

"My Dad left us too. Mom's friend, Keith takes care of us now."

"Oh yeah." Warrick pushed the door to the staff room shut with his foot, giving them some privacy. "Do you like him?"

Adrian shook his head, losing his appetite for the chips. "He made my Mom take bad medicine."

"Bad medicine?"

"The kids at school call her pot head."

"Oh, I see." Warrick nodded, sympathising with the kid. He couldn't stand junkie mother's prioritising their next fix over their own child. He still wasn't filled in on the details of the case, but he realised now why it was so important to Catherine. "This bad thing that you did, you know it wasn't your fault."

"I hit her." Adrian confessed, crawling out from under the table. He climbed to his feet using the chair, ditching the chips on the table. "I told her I wanted to go home. She laughed at me. Pushed me into the table." He raised his arm to show Warrick the bruise on his arm. "I grabbed the glass bottle and hit her. She fell down and wouldn't get up. Keith yelled at me. Told me to get lost."

"He told you to go?" Warrick climbed to his feet, giving the child a curious look. "He tell you where to hid too?"

"He said he'd come get me as soon as he..." Adrian stopped mid-sentence, pointing the man's attention towards the door.

"Hey, easy deputy. He's just a kid." Warrick stopped the newbie from pulling his piece on him. "The situation is contained. Tell Brass we found him. I'll keep an eye on him until Gris gets back. Now, deputy."

The deputy sighed, removing his hand from his weapon. "Captain, over here." He ushered his boss over.

"Nice of you to inform the rest of the team, Brown." Captain Brass charged straight in, pointing the deputies attention towards the kid. "Take him to one of the interrogation rooms. Lock the door and keep him under constant guard. You, my office." He pointed at Warrick, sounding even more pissed than Grissom.

"Hey, I'll come see you in a bit." Warrick called after the kid, reluctantly following the man towards his office. He flinched as the door slammed shut behind him, watching the angry Captain making his way behind his desk. "I just found him sitting there. What was I supposed to do? Call in a SWAT team? He's just a kid."

"That's not the point and you know it. Why the hell didn't you show up for shift today?"

"Personal business." Warrick folded his arms across his chest.

"This the same personal business that got you into trouble before?"

"In case you forgot, you were demoted from your position as my Supervisor. I don't have to report to you or Gris anymore." Warrick snapped back at him.

"Oh yeah, what's your new super, Catherine gonna say when she finds out you're back to your old tricks again?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Brass slid open the top drawer of his desk, grabbing the disc from inside. He glared at the other man as he placed the disc into the drive of his computer, waiting for it to load, before he ushered him closer. "Your so called sick day the other week, you spent five hours at the blackjack tables."

"You're spying on me?"

"I was there investigating a crime scene with Grissom." Brass informed him, putting some distance between them, before he smacked the guy for acting like such a brat. "You're lucky that I got to the film before he did. Smart guy like you should know that Casinos film everyone walking through their doors. What were you thinking, Rick? If I check the tapes for tonight, will I find you sat there again instead of helping us on this investigation?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" He practically yelled at him, not even noticing the door to his office opening behind him.

"Is there a problem here?" Catherine looked between the two of them. "Briefing upstairs. Ecklie wants everyone to attend. Leave someone guarding the kid this time, Jim. We can't afford to lose him again."

"Your mistake, Willows. Not mine. The kid was in your custody when he went missing."

"Correction, he was in the care of one of your deputies." Catherine shouted right back at him.

Brass threw his hands up in the air, relieved that this shift was almost over. He couldn't take another minute of the aggravation between the two shifts. He pushed past the woman on his way out the office, dying for a drink right about now.

"Not a word." Catherine glared at Warrick. "Get upstairs. We'll talk later."

"What happened to innocent until proven guilty?" He called after her, groaning as he reluctantly followed her upstairs for the debriefing. He sat there bored out of his mind for what felt like hours as Ecklie debriefed the rest of the team on what they already knew. He glanced towards Grissom and Catherine towards the end, gulping softly as he saw the look in their eyes. He felt like a scared student by the end of the meeting, fearing the trip to the Principals office more than what his grandmother would say when he got home.

And she terrified him.

"Sit down." Grissom pulled up a chair in his office, perching himself on his desk, while Catherine leant against the shelving unit with her arms folded across her chest.

"Do I get a lawyer?"

"Don't get smart with me, Warrick." The other man warned him.

Reluctantly dropping into the seat, Warrick gave out a soft sigh, wishing he had never bothered to show up. He placed his hands on his knees, looking between Catherine and Grissom, feeling their disappointment in him beginning to burn a hole into his skull.

"Catherine informed me that you skipped out on a court appearance the other day. You're missing shifts, ducking calls and arguing about assignments." Grissom started the scolding, folding his arms across his chest. "What the hell is going on with you, Warrick?"

"And personal business isn't going to cut it this time." Catherine interjected. "Brass showed us the tape."

Warrick rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. "Am I on trial here?"

"Look, Warrick." Grissom sat forwards, looking at the younger man in front of him. "What you do in your own time is nobody's business..."

"To hell it is." Catherine interrupted her former supervisor, pushing herself off the shelves. She advanced towards Warrick, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You made it our business when you started ducking out on your responsibilities here at the lab. That shift that you missed the other day, Nicky had to work a solo and almost got shot. You know that we're short staffed already. We really needed you here, but you didn't show up until the lab director sent someone to pick you up. What the hell was so important?"

"Catherine." Grissom reached for her arm, before she got close enough to strike out at the other man.

"Why are you always defending him?" Catherine pulled away from the man. "Ignoring this isn't going to make it go away, Gil."

"I'm not ignoring it. He's here, isn't he?"

"I was trying to help someone out!" Warrick shouted, stopping the two of them from arguing. He didn't want them to get in an argument over him. In a way, they were the closet thing he had ever had to real parents and he hated the thought of being labelled the problem child that broke them up. "Yeah, I placed some bets during a shift the other day. I know it was bad, but we needed bail money."

"We?" Catherine gave him a curious look.

"A kid from my block." He confessed. "His father disappeared on them a long time ago. Mom got popped during all that gang revenge crap a few months back. He's been staying with his Aunt. She told me to keep him out of trouble. He got busted for some petty shoplifting thing. They needed bail money. That's where I was, all day today. You can check all you like, it's the truth."

"You were trying to win bail money?" Catherine tried to get the facts straight in her head. "You could have asked one of us for a loan or something, Warrick."

"My business."

"It becomes our business when you don't show up for your responsibilities." Grissom pointed out to him, catching Ecklie lurking in the hallway. He gave out a sigh, reluctantly letting him in. "What do you want, Conrad? Don't you have a press conference to get to?"

"Just a reminder that I'll be expecting a disciplinary action report on this little situation. Willows." He called out to her, before he gave the other man a smug smile. "Something that was never your strong suit. Why are you even involved in this meeting, Gil? I haven't officially reinstated you to your role of shift supervisor yet. Sofia is supposed to handle any issues that come up with the team."

"I'm just sitting in." Grissom glanced over his shoulder at Catherine. "Are we good here?"

"Yeah, I can handle it from here." She assured him, watching him grab his jacket, hightailing it out the door before anything else got in the way.

Grissom climbed into bed alongside the one he loved a few minutes later, holding her tight in his arms. He used to feel as though the lab and the work was his place of sanctuary, but holding Sara in his arms, feeling the baby kicking at his hand, he realised that it was here. He didn't care if the other stuff worked itself out, Sara and their child was all that mattered to him now.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading! Sorry about the delay in updates, tricky chapter to write and I've had a lot going on. Not so much Sara in this one, but I wanted to show a more fatherly side of Grissom, before I start on her. I hope you enjoyed reading it, please let me know what you thought.**

 **Enjoy the rest of your week!**

 **Thank you!**

 **~ Holly**


	15. Family Feud

**Chapter Fifteen - Family Feud**

Stumbling through the hospital bare footed, Grissom shielded his eyes from the bright lights on the ceiling, following the endless cry of the baby. He searched in desperation as the cries continued to ring through his ears, echoing down every hallway of the maze like hospital. He thought he found the way out when it opened up to a large lobby, but the room appeared to be spinning. He dropped to his knees to try and stabilise himself, feeling queasy as the doors around him continued to spin, seemingly getting closer to him. The cries of the baby became deafening. He tried to cover his ears to block them out, but the pressure in his skull continued to build.

"Gil!" Sara screamed his name.

The doors around him burst open, but his vision was too blurred to see what was on the other side. He heard Sara crying out desperately for him, but he couldn't see her. He couldn't get to her. He couldn't even move. He was powerless.

And choking.

Darkness overcame him.

Grissom choked himself awake, forcing himself upright as he struggled to breathe. He reached out for the glass of water on his bedside table, taking a few sips, before he was able to breathe again. He brushed the sleep from his eyes, trying to clear the cobwebs as he looked around at his surroundings. He couldn't hear a baby crying. His head wasn't pounding and Sara wasn't screaming his name. He was alone in his ordinary bedroom, only the place had been drastically cleaned since he fell asleep. The unfolded laundry from the dresser had been put away. The overflowing laundry hamper against the wall had been completely emptied and all the surfaces had been sorted and polished.

Pushing back the covers from his chest, Grissom clambered out of his bed, scratching his head as he made his way through his spotless apartment. The countertops sparkled like diamonds. He could see his reflection in the glass cupboards and the whole place had a vibrant scent to it.

"Mm... lemons." He breathed in the strong scent of cleaning products, spotting Sara sat at the dining table with a book in front of her. "Good Morning. Looks like you've been busy."

"Afternoon more like. You've been asleep all day." Sara corrected him, greeting him with a wide smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sort of... weird dreams." He sat himself opposite her, adoring the way her smile lit up her whole face.

"Tell me about it, the other night I dreamed that this entire apartment was full of baby's and they were all screaming at me in adult voices that they were hungry, they needed a diaper change or they wanted to be held. It was kinda creepy." Sara trembled at the memory, rubbing her stomach as she looked across the table at him. "What's up? Do I have something on my face?"

"No... you... look beautiful." He grinned widely at her, looking like the cat that got the cream.

"I don't feel it. I feel like a beached whale."

"You're gorgeous. Looks like you've been busy too. The boxes are gone." His eye caught the return of the wall that had been hidden away by boxes for the past few weeks.

"Yeah, I finally unpacked the last of my things. I'm all squared away now. I hope I didn't invade your space too much."

"It's our space now." Grissom reached out for the book she was reading, lifting it from the table to see what it was. "With less than three weeks to go, do you really think it's appropriate to start reading about the complications of childbirth?"

"It's just research. You know I like to be prepared. The more I read, the less terrifying it all seems. Besides, it doesn't go into the gruesome gory details of it all, it's just coping methods and things. Controlling your breathing, expecting the unexpected... the research soothes me." She assured him, closing the book in front of her. "Can I get you some coffee or something?"

"I can get it." Grissom quickly pushed himself to his feet, before she got up. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah, I'm a little hungry. I was gonna wait since we're supposed to be at this baby shower thing later with the old team. Do you know if there will be food?"

"I... don't know." He paused in the kitchen, forgetting that they were even supposed to attend the party later. He tried to avoid social gatherings at all costs, but this one was a major milestone in both of their lives. He just wasn't too sure about spending that milestone with the people from the lab, especially after yesterday. "I'm sure there will be cake of some kind. It's a celebration after all. There's usually cake. You could ask Catherine if you're worried. We need to get the address and a time off her anyway."

"Already did, she said four thirty and she couldn't find a location this close to Christmas, so we're meeting at her house. Apparently she's had Lindsey designing banners all morning." Sara searched around for where she left her phone, finding it on charge next to the coffee maker. "Three missed calls from Warrick."

"Really?" Grissom reached over her head for the cabinet above her, grabbing himself a coffee mug. "He was pretty upset yesterday."

"About what?"

"Not my place to say." The man gulped softly, wishing he had taken it a little easier with him yesterday. He absently stirred his coffee for the next few minutes, tuning out Sara's voice, until she placed her hands on his shoulders. "What was that?" He glanced round, smiling as she pecked a kiss to the side of his head.

"You know, this might be our last time alone together, before this baby gets here anyway."

"We still have three weeks." Grissom felt goose bumps shivering their way down his spine. "Do you think it'll be early?"

"I don't know." Sara shrugged her shoulders together, putting her back to the counter beside him. "I haven't felt anything. I just have a feeling that it's going to be soon. Probably just excitement with the baby shower and Christmas coming up. You know we still need to put that crib together." She motioned his attention towards the box still leant up against the sofa. "I've sorted out the clothes we have so far by size in the bottom drawer of your closet."

"By size?" The man gave her a curious look. "Baby clothes have sizes?"

"Yeah." She cracked a grin at the clueless man, grabbing the milk from the fridge for him. "They start at newborn and go all the way up. We've got a few newborn outfits. Zero to three months is looking a little light, but we've got quite a few three to six months outfits. We went a little crazy on the cute outfits."

"We?"

"Your mother and me. We went yesterday while you were working." Sara disappeared into the bedroom, pulling open the door to the closet. She struggled to get onto the floor, picking out a few of the outfits to show him. Getting up from the floor was a lot harder than getting on it, but she eventually made her way back to Grissom in the kitchen. "Your mother picked this one out."

Grissom turned to look, smiling at the little white onesie, printed with the words 'Straight outta Mommy.'

"Wait, there's more." Sara held up what liked a little bumble bee outfit, followed by a cosy body suit that had bunny ears attached to the hood. He never understood why parents would want to humiliate their children with outfits like that, but he had to admit, he couldn't wait to see their own child wearing it one day. "Sweet, huh?"

"It is." He agreed with her, adoring her smile. "Did my mother go to the birthing class with you too?"

"Yeah... it was a little... awkward. Trying to translate lunge pose, squatting and kneeling on all fours was a little harder than I expected, but I think she enjoyed herself. Did you know that your father cut your cord after you were born?" She asked, refolding the outfits in her hands. "She also told me that you were born two weeks before your due date. She did it without any pain relief and she said that the father's weren't really allowed in the delivery room back then, but your father insisted on being there every step of the way."

"She told me." Grissom nodded his head slightly. "Do you want me with you?"

"Every step of the way." Sara smiled back, setting the body suits on the side. "I got you a present too. Stay there." She took the stairs up one step at a time, grabbing a gift bag from the table. She held her stomach as she made her way back to him, wearing a mile wide grin. His heart soared inside his chest, feeling as though it was expanding with his love for her. "It's just a little something to say thank you."

"You don't have to say thank you. I've gotten just as much out of this as you." Grissom felt a spark of electricity as she touched his hand.

"I feel like I've got so much more though. I had nothing a few months ago, now I have all of this with you. Just open it." She insisted, on the brink of excitement.

Setting the gift bag on the side, Grissom reached inside, pulling out the thick hardback. The title read 'The Simple Guide Book for Fathers of Daughters'. He brushed his fingertips across it's shiny surface, before he opened it up to the first page. He usually liked to read biographies or anything to do with science during his downtime, but the first page grabbed his attention right away. Sara had inscribed it with _'I will always love you.'_ He brushed his thumb across her handwriting, before he lifted his gaze to meet hers.

With his heart hammering inside his chest, the man blurted, "I love you, Sara."

Sara's lips curved into a smile. It wasn't the first time she had heard it after all, but it was the first time he had said it to her and really wanted her to hear it. "I love you too, Gilbert." She felt her heart skip a beat as the man put his arms around her, looking at her as though he was seeing her for the first time. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you said exactly what I was hoping you were going to say. But I had always feared that you would say something else."

"Always?" She furrowed her brows. "How long were you holding that in?"

The man shrugged his shoulders together, brushing a stray tendril of hair from her face. He didn't notice before, but Sara had tied her hair up in a different style. She had braided one side of it, pulling the rest of it back into a sophisticated bun. "The better part of a decade." He confessed. "New hairstyle?"

"Oh... courtesy of too much free time. Do you like it? Lindsey taught me the braiding the other day." Sara softly patted the side of her head, surprised that it had stayed in. "You and I both know that I need a haircut, but I'm too embarrassed to wedge myself into one of their little chairs, so I thought I'd try some new styles until this kid comes out."

"I like it. Your hair was long when I first met you." He stopped her from worrying. He wanted to kiss her, but the dragon breath he was currently sporting stopped himself from leaning any closer. He hadn't even taken a swig of his coffee yet to mask it, so he settled for pressing a kiss to her forehead. "So, breakfast... or lunch, since it's nearly two." He rubbed his hands together, taking a step away from her. "I saw some avocado leftover in the fridge."

"There's bagels on the side." Sara pointed them out to him. She smiled as he moved the book aside for safe keeping, taking one last look at the inscription, before he got to work on their lunch. "There's another book that I wanted you to flick through now that we have a positive ID on our gender." She moved the newspapers aside from the table, lifting out the baby names book that had been flagged with a whole range of rainbow coloured sticky notes. "Names."

"Names?" He looked a little horrified at the prospect of naming something that wasn't even here yet.

"Yeah, we have to figure out what to call this kid before they leave for college." The woman smirked, opening the book to one of her favourite pages. "There's some really good ones in here. A few that I've never heard of. For example... Loretta." She glanced up at him, waiting for a reaction, but his features remained the same. "I thought it was good because it sort of combines both our mothers names. Laura and Betty. Loretta."

"Hm... it's good." He didn't sound very convincing, so she moved onto her next choice.

"I found this section on William Shakespeare's female characters." Sara flipped through the pages, holding it out in front of him as he started to prepare their food. "There's a few that I'm not really keen on, but I really like the sound of Bianca from The Taming of the Shrew. Hermione from The Winter's Tale, but I'm worried that people will think we named her after that Harry Potter character. I've never even read Harry Potter. Octavia is a nice unique one too."

"It's Latin, I believe. It means the eighth."

Sara pursed her lips together, quickly going off the idea of naming her child _'the eighth'_. "Or we could go with common names." She flipped through to another section of the book. "Charlotte, French Origin, meaning petite and feminine. Audrey, English Origin, meaning noble strength."

"Are you going by the meaning of the name or the origin?" He cut in, stepping around her to get to the fridge.

"I don't know." Sara put her back to the counter, giving out a soft sigh as she examined the list. "I don't even know what my name means."

"In Hebrew, I believe that the name Sara means woman of high rank. In other words, Princess." He showed off his recent Google search on the subject of naming a child himself. He found the search engines too overwhelming with endless lists of names though, so he never bothered to share his research with her before.

"How is it that you know everything?" She cocked an eyebrow in his direction.

"I don't. There are many things in this world that are a complete mystery to me." Grissom served up their lunch, taking them over to the table. He hurried back for the coffee, ushering Sara along with him. "What's more important to you the meaning or the sound of the name?"

"I'm not sure." Sara dropped into her chair, placing the book beside her plate. "Both I guess. I don't want a name that has some awful meaning. Do you know what your name means?"

"Trusted."

"Well then it must be true." Sara immediately smiled at him, picking her bagel up from her plate. She scanned her eyes across the book beside her while she ate, hoping for a little bit of inspiration from the man in front of her, but he was too hungry to carry on a conversation.

After their lunch, they spent the morning fixing their baby's crib together. Sara sat on the floor cross legged with the instructions open on her baby bump, while Grissom sorted through the various screws and things from the little packet. He never really liked the concept of DIY. He liked repairing things that were broken, but fixing something together from flat pack was his idea of a nightmare.

"That one." Sara pointed to the screw he had in his hand. "There should be four of them. It's the top hole in piece... A. It should connect to piece C."

"Can I see that?" Grissom bent down to her level, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before he reached out for the instructions. "Are the pieces labelled?"

"I didn't see anything. Oh... this one has a sticker on it." She lifted a piece of wood from the floor. "B... that one must be A over there." Sara smiled at him as he crawled across the floor to pick it up. "This is just the crib. How do you think we'll cope with the actual baby? They don't come with instructions like this."

"We know the basics. We've changed a teddy bears diaper, made up a bottle of formula. The rest we'll learn as we go along." Grissom assured her, slotting the pieces of wood together. "Can you hand me the screw driver, my dear?"

"Move your bum, Hank." She patted the dog's back, moving him out of the way. Sara examined the tools on the floor, before she handed him the one with the right head to it. "It's weird to think that there's gonna be a baby sleeping in this soon."

"You think that's the weird part?" He gave her a grin. He adored her so much, it made his heart flutter inside his chest. "My whole life I've been trying to dodge the responsibility of being there for other people. I didn't think I needed anyone or wanted them in my life. Until I fell in love with you, I thought that this was it for me." He motioned around his apartment. "I thought that this was all I needed. I didn't feel lonely or incomplete at the time. Now that you're here and we have this baby to look forward to... I realise that I was just filling in the empty spaces of my life, waiting for something better to come along. Something extraordinary and here you are."

"Now I feel sorry for you." Sara sighed softly. "If I'm the something better you were waiting for..."

"You brought me back to life, Sara. You've made me happier in these past few months than I've ever been in my whole life." The man finally acknowledged how he felt to her, in a lot more than three little words. He wished that he could say more, but he was at a complete loss for words after pouring his heart out to her. "What's the next part?"

Sara reluctantly tore her eyes away from him, looking down at the instructions in her lap. "Uh... B. Connect it to the other side of C. Same bolts as the other side. Sticker facing inwards." She lifted her gaze to watch him, smiling to herself as she thought about what he had just told her. "Gil..."

"Hm?" He hummed, finally looking up at her.

"I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for you." Sara confessed, clutching the edges of the instructions in her hands, causing them to crumple. "It's no secret that I was on the self destruct path before all of this. If you... if you hadn't taken an interest and just let me burn out... I don't think I would still be here. I've never had someone in my life that I could depend on before. My parents weren't exactly reliable. I had social workers and foster parents come and go all the time. I've never really committed myself to relationships or friendships because I'm afraid to trust anyone. But you... you don't treat our relationship like a chore. You're there when I need you and even when I don't."

She paused, placing a hand on her stomach, looking into his eyes. She loved his eyes. They were full of wisdom and as bright as blue diamonds. Diamond being the hardest known natural material on earth; his eyes were soft and full of warmth.

"When I first found out that I was pregnant with this baby, I didn't want it because I was terrified about doing all of this on my own. All I could see was my history repeating itself. I thought that ending it was the only way to stop history from repeating itself, but with you... I can see a whole future. A bright future, rather than the dark and dreary one that I had pictured before. I can't wait to see this baby or even hold it in my arms. I'm actually looking forward to it, rather than dreading it."

"You will, Sara." He assured her, crawling forwards on his hands towards her. He pecked a kiss to her cheek once he was close enough, gently placing his hand on her stomach. "I promise that I'll do everything in my power to be there for you."

"Thank you."

"Thank you." He copied her, pecking another kiss to her cheek. "What's next?"

Before the water works started, Sara lifted the instructions from her lap, getting him back to work.

In less than an hour, they had the whole crib constructed and into position at the end of their bed. It looked a little odd at first. Like it didn't belong, but as soon as the little mattress and spinning mobile was in place, it started to look more natural.

"What do you think, Hank?" Grissom patted the dog beside him, watching the dog cautiously sniffing the new object in the room. He perked up after a few minutes, wagging his tail as soon as Sara returned to the room with a teddy bear in her arms. "When do you want to leave for the baby shower?"

"I think I'd like a real shower before we go." Sara set the teddy bear down at the end of the crib, smoothing her hands across the wooden surface of their new crib. "Do you think it's better here or should we move it over to the window? At least then it's on my side, so I can get up in the night for feedings."

"I thought you said that you're not supposed to put it by the window?" He scratched his head with confusion. "Aren't we both getting up in the night when the baby cries?"

Sara couldn't help but smile, grabbing a fresh towel from the linen closet. "Unless you have the ability to nurse a baby from your chest, I'm pretty sure that I'll be the one doing the midnight feedings."

"I guess that answers the bottle or breast question from the other week." Grissom grabbed himself some clean clothes from the closet, flipping through at least three shirts, until he found one that he wanted to wear. He glanced back at the comfortable polo shirts he had hanging up, wondering what he was even supposed to wear to an occasion like this. He perched himself on the edge of the bed, waiting for Sara to finish up in the shower. He beamed a wide smile in her direction as she remerged, wrapped snugly in a towel.

Even with the towel up to her shoulders, he could see her beautiful figure. These last few months she had been embarrassed by the size of her stomach, but from his perspective, she looked absolutely delightful.

"Can't you find anything to wear?" She saw the clothes sat beside him on the bed.

"I don't know what to wear. I dress for crime scenes and court appearances." He reminded her, catching a smug smile from her, before she turned towards the closet. She flicked through some of his shirts, stopping on a navy blue one that really brought his eyes. She set it down on his lap, grabbing a pair of his comfortable black jeans that didn't have any mystery stains on them from crime scenes.

"There you are." She bent to press a kiss to the top of his head, playfully ruffling her fingers through his pillow creased hair. "You might want to run a comb through that."

"Thank you, my dear. What are you wearing?"

"There's not a whole lot I can fit into at the moment, so my choices are pretty limited." Sara held the towel in place around her chest, examining the contents of her wardrobe. She sighed softly as she found her favourite blouse that no longer fit her bust, let alone her stomach. She didn't want to pop anymore buttons on anymore blouses, so she quickly moved onto the maternity wear that was slightly less flattering of late.

Pausing as she felt a hand on her lower back, Sara leant back into the warm embrace of her partner, smiling over her shoulder as the man circled his arms around her stomach. "If Catherine wasn't the one who organised this whole thing for us, I'd say lets blow it off and spend some time alone together." He spoke softly, breathing in the strong aroma of her almond scented shower gel.

"You know we can't though."

"The thought of social gatherings terrify me. I would much rather be knee deep in a crime scene than put on the spot like this, but this is for our baby. I'm willing to make that sacrifice for you and our child." He gave her the assurance that she really needed. He held her in his arms for the next few minutes, waiting to feel some kind of movement from his baby. He thought he could feel a foot at one point, but Sara insisted that the baby was laying the other way around at their last scan.

Nearly half an hour later, they arrived outside of Catherine's house, recognising a few cars in the street as their fellow CSI's. They rarely gathered for social events outside of work, other than the occasional breakfast or dinner after work, but it appeared that the whole team wanted to be here for this.

"Oh God, I can see balloons already. I said no balloons. I hate them." Sara held onto her partner's hand tightly, cautiously making her way up the driveway to Catherine's front door. She gave the door a light knock, dreading what they might find on the other side. She pictured balloons in the shape of baby's. Cookies decorated with bright icing or even bright frilly tassels covering everything from the napkins to the wrapping paper. "I hope there's food." She placed her hand on her stomach, feeling hungry already.

When the door finally popped open, seven year old, Lindsey was stood in the gap, wearing what looked like a fairy outfit.

"Hello, Lindsey." Grissom greeted her with a sunny smile. "Are you a pixie?"

"No, I'm a fairy godmother." Lindsey waved her wand in their direction. "I grant wishes. Tell me your wish and I will make it come true."

"Let them in then, Linds. Sorry, she's completely obsessed with the fairy godmother from that Shrek movie at the moment." Catherine pulled the door open wider, ushering her daughter out of the way. "I was beginning to think that you were going to blow us off. Jackets?" She offered to take them.

"Are you kidding? It's boiling out there." Sara breezed past her, wearing her strapless summer dress that she finally settled on. It was comfortable, the fabric was flowing and she didn't feel like a whale in it.

"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, Sara."

"Thank you." Sara took a sneak peak around the house while Catherine was taking her partner's jacket, surprised at how grown up it all looked. She didn't like the balloons stationed around the room, but the rest of the decorations were very discreet and welcoming.

"Isn't the fairy godmother in that movie the antagonist?" Grissom had a sudden thought, handing his jacket over to Catherine.

The woman looked at him surprised, more surprised by the fact that he actually knew the title of the movie than his question. "I believe so, but Lindsey loves the idea of being able to grant wishes. She said if she did have her powers, she wouldn't use them to do all the evil things that she does."

"Oh." Grissom nodded, following Sara into the front room.

"Hey," Nick surprised her, grinning widely as he caught her in a hug. He felt as though he hadn't seen her in years, longer from the size of her pregnancy belly. "You look amazin', Sara. When's this baby supposed to be comin' out?"

"I know, it's huge." Sara smoothed her hands across her round stomach, hoping it didn't get any bigger. "Any day now, I hope. We've still got a few weeks left, but it's starting to get majorly uncomfortable, especially sleeping. I can't get comfortable and when I finally do, the baby wakes up and starts doing summersaults."

"Wait till it gets here, you'll never sleep again." Catherine piped in, leading her ex boss through to the kitchen. "Greg and Sofia are upstairs taking the tour and Warrick is out back. He had to take a call."

"Sofia?" Grissom looked surprised, hearing her laughter as the two of them made their way down the stairs. She was the last person he was expecting to see here, especially after what happened on their last shift.

"Yeah, she's part of the team now and Sara said it was okay." Catherine assured him, tapping her knuckles against the window to get Warrick's attention. She tapped her watch as she ushered him inside, eager to get this party started now that the guest of honour had finally arrived. "Anyone want a drink?"

"Yes please, Cath." Warrick shoved his phone into his pocket, avoiding looking at his former supervisor. "Hi, Sara." He went straight in to hug her, not even noticing the increased size of her stomach, until she hugged him back. "Feels like you got two baby's in there."

"Only the one, thankfully." Sara sighed with relief, feeling as though her bladder was about to burst again. "Nothing for me, thank you. I really need to use the ladies." She excused herself, quickly making her way towards the bathroom, before her bladder really did burst. She found a little pink foot stool set up by the sink, guessing that it was there to assist, Lindsey. She hadn't even thought that far ahead with their own baby.

The stairs in Grissom's apartment were a death trap, but they'd have to use them eventually to make their way up to the front room. The kitchen and dining room at his place was completely open, so it would make it virtually impossible to keep their baby out of harm's way once they started walking. She hoped that they didn't start that until they were old enough to know better, but she remembered reading that some baby's became mobile as early as five months. If that was the case with theirs, they'd have to block off at least three quarters of the apartment, just to keep the baby out of and away from anything that could hurt them.

Setting her worries aside, for now at least, Sara finished her business, washing her hands with candy scented soap, before she made her way towards the door.

"Hi, I thought maybe you fell in." Catherine greeted her with a wide grin at the door. "Here, drink this."

Sara gave the drink in her hand a suspicious look, not sure she wanted to drink whatever it was. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"It's not alcoholic. It's pink grapefruit juice. Freshly squeezed. I was addicted to this stuff while I was pregnant with Lindsey. I read somewhere that it's really good for you while you're pregnant too. Just try it." The woman insisted, practically forcing it into her hand. "I bought a ton of the stuff at the store the other day and we've been squeezing the juice out of them all day, so someone's gotta drink it up."

"Thank you... I guess." Sara gave the drink a cautious sniff, before she attempted to take a sip.

It was sickly sweet at first, but it wasn't half bad after a few more sips. She gave the woman a slight nod of approval, before she joined the gathering of her colleagues in the front room. It felt a bit like an awkward birthday party at first, meeting and greeting her former co-workers after so long away from each other, but once the topic of conversation moved onto her baby, she really started to enjoy herself.

"So Sara, do you have a birthing plan set up yet?" Sofia queried, still keeping her distance from Grissom. She could sense some tension between him and Warrick, deciding to avoid any subjects related to work, just in case it brought up what had happened last night.

"Yeah, we're going for birthing pool route." Sara grabbed her third helping of the store bought, strawberry and chocolate cheese cake, relieved that Catherine had gone for a more grown up approach to the food, rather than making it into a kids party. She glanced up after her first mouthful, catching all the staring in her direction. "What?"

"A water birth?" Catherine had to check that she heard her right. "Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"It's actually pretty safe and it's supposed to be better for me and the baby. It's a great way to manage my pain without the use of drugs too. I just wanted to do it all natural, no drugs or anything. I'm still doing it at the hospital though. I don't feel brave enough to set up the pool in the front room, but I'd rather do it myself without any assistance or drugs."

"Well you're a lot braver than me. I wanted to do it all natural, but this little one was a nightmare." Catherine put her arms around her daughter beside her, hugging her close. "I started out on gas and air for a while, but I couldn't tolerate the pain. I ended up having an epidural. I managed to avoid the forceps delivery, thankfully. But I don't think I could have done it without that epidural."

"Really?" Sara gulped softly, starting to worry a little more about the pain. She had always seen Catherine as a strong woman, probably one of the strongest she knew, but if she couldn't handle the pain of child birth, Sara felt as though she didn't stand a chance.

"I think it's really brave of you to want to do it natural." Nick piped in, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Sara, are you alright?" Catherine gave her a curious look.

"I'm fine." She quickly shot up her walls of defence. Grissom was the only one who could penetrate them at the moment. She didn't want to let the others know how terrified she was.

"Mommy, can we open the presents now?" The fairy godmother requested, sounding a little annoyed that she had to wait so long. She hated grown up talk. The party was much more fun when she was in the garden pushing Uncle Greg on her swing set or climbing the tree with Uncle Grissom, finding a leafy looking bug that the man referred to as a brown marmorated stink bug. Named for the pungent odour it gives off to prevent it from being eaten by birds and lizards.

"Yes, yes... presents." Catherine climbed to her feet to fetch them.

Relieved by the distraction of gifts, Sara tried to focus her mind on what exactly she was unwrapping, rather than the pain she may or may not eventually experience in the coming weeks. She found a teddy bear in the first package. They already had quite a few from Grissom's mother, but she figured one more wouldn't hurt. It was all white and super soft. She liked the little bow that it had around its neck, but the big googly eyes freaked her out a little.

She tore open the second brightly lit package, unfolding the bundle of little newborn outfits that came with owls stitched into them. She smiled at her co-workers, going for the next. She hated being put on the spot like this, which was mostly why she had avoided so many awkward birthday parties over the years. She faked a look of surprise and happiness for the things she didn't really want, like a doll that had changeable outfits. What good was that to a baby? And a whole box full of pacifiers, which she had decided that they wouldn't be using. She faked another smile, hoping they could return them.

Sara started to lose interest quite quickly after that, but she still had many more to unravel.

"So Sara, are you going in for that whole... stay at home mother thing?" Sofia finally asked her. She never went in for it herself. She didn't think she could stand that many hours alone with a crying baby, thankful that her ex opted to do the job for her, so she could continue with her career.

"Oh... I'm not sure." Sara handed one of the gifts to her partner beside her, letting him share the burden of acting surprised with each gift. "I don't want it to be a full time career like some mothers manage to do. I don't think I could stomach it full time."

"Tell me about it," Nick piped in. "My sister plans on bein' a fulltime mother until her kid leaves for college. She's only got the one. He's ten and she already gave up on homeschoolin' him because he's too hyper. She has a cleanin' lady round the house everyday to help with chores and she hasn't cooked a day in her life."

"Sounds like laziness to me." Greg smirked.

"My grandmother homeschooled me for a little while." Warrick finally joined the group, after pigging out on the food in the kitchen. "I liked it. Teachers at school never really go in for that one on one experience."

"Oh... no, I'm not doing homeschooling." Sara shuddered at the thought. She had experienced the torture of homeschooling herself once. Her foster mother at the time had very little patience and a lot of riled up children to deal with. That was the one foster home that Sara actually requested being taken out of.

"Are you staying here in Las Vegas?" Greg asked the dreaded question that had been on the back of his mind for the past few months. "I mean, after the baby is born. Will you stay here in the city or... find somewhere else?"

"We're staying." Sara answered, looking at her partner beside her as he unwrapped a set of baby bottles. "I mean... for now anyway. We have been talking about finding a new place somewhere down the line. Our apartment is kinda small already."

"Trust me, you'll need the space once they start getting bigger." Catherine spoke from experience. "More food anyone?"

"Is there any more of those enchiladas?" Nick felt his stomach still rumbling with hunger. He wasn't used to the chick sized portions that Catherine had been serving them.

"Let me check." Catherine grabbed the empty glasses off the table, making her way back to the kitchen. She watched Grissom carefully examining the item in his hands, smiling as it was obvious that he hadn't the foggiest what it was even for. "Nasal aspirator. It's a snot sucker." She cackled, serving up another portion of enchiladas for Nick. "They can't exactly blow their noses themselves, so you have to clear it for them."

"How does it work?" Greg curiously looked it over.

"Suck it out." Nick snorted with laughter, thanking Catherine for his plate. "You stick one end up the baby's nose and you use the other end to suck out the mucus."

"Ew." Greg shuddered at the thought, not realising that Sara did the same. "That's gross." He couldn't believe that Nick was still stuffing his face with food after seeing that.

"It won't go in your mouth, there's a filter." Catherine pointed it out to the grimacing boys. "Your mothers probably did this for you once." She giggled again, gently tapping Warrick on the shoulder as he continued to stare off into space. "Are you alright? You seem... distracted."

"Yeah." Warrick turned his attention towards Grissom, rolling his eyes as the man continued to act so natural. "I've just got a lot on my mind. Actually, I've gotta go." He pushed himself to his feet.

"Wait, Sara hasn't even opened the present from you yet." Catherine followed him, alerting everyone to their presence. "Warrick, what is it? I thought you said that this bail money was sorted. You said that it wasn't an issue anymore."

"It's not." He snapped back at her.

"So what is the problem?" She tried to understand what exactly was going on with him. She thought she had it sussed after their meeting the other night, but he still wasn't back to his usual self. "Why are you storming off in the middle of Sara's baby shower? Where are you going?"

"I can't just sit here and keep my mouth shut."

"Warrick, wait." She caught his arm, stopping him from leaving. "Keep your mouth shut about what?"

The room went deathly silent.

Admitting it out loud to a room full of his colleagues made him feel like he was exposing a dirty little secret, but he couldn't just sit idly by and let Sara go through with this. She had to know what she was letting herself in for. He couldn't let her do this without knowing everything first. "It's them. They're lying to everyone." He motioned towards them on the sofa. "Grissom and Sofia are having an affair. I saw them. I saw them together."

Catherine almost scoffed it sounded so absurd, but then she caught the looks that the two of them exchanged. "Gil...?" She searched for answers in his expression, but the man had never exactly been an open book. "Gil, please tell me that this isn't true."

"It's not what you think." Sofia cut the woman off, pushing herself up from her seat. "It was an accident."

"It didn't look like an accident to me. I walked in on you kissing him." Warrick shared what he had to everyone. "You knew full well that they're expecting a baby."

"Hold on, Warrick." Grissom joined in, stopping him from tearing Sofia to shreds in front of everyone.

"It's true?" Greg accused the older man.

"What the hell is going on with you, Gil?" Catherine fumed.

Sitting on the side lines of their argument, Sara saw her whole life being ripped away from her again. She moved the set of coloured bibs off her lap, pushing herself to her feet to escape the torture. She managed to slip out into the garden unnoticed, breathing in a few deep breaths, before the reality of it all came crashing down around her.

When she was a child, she and her brother used to hide under her desk when the arguments started. They held each other tightly from the crash of each plate and the thud of every fist. Their parents could go at all night and the only time they knew it was over was by the sound of silence or the sound of sirens coming from outside.

Abandoning his plate of food on the coffee table, Nick quickly took after her, leaving the others to their disagreement.

"Sara." The familiar voice of a trusted friend came from behind her. She backed away as she heard the raised voices of her friends, finding herself a place to sit on Lindsey's swing set. Nick closed the back door behind him, making his way towards her. "You're shakin'... are you okay?" He took the swing beside her. "I'm sure he didn't... this is Grissom we're talkin' about."

Sara lifted her gaze, watching the argument continue behind the glass. "Can you get me out of here, Nicky?"

"Are you sure?" Nick thought she would want to confront him, but she was already on her way towards the gate.

"Please, I just need to get out of here. I can't be here."

"Okay, my truck's right out front." He hurried after her, getting the gate for her. He hurried round to the passenger side of his truck on the street, giving a hand to get up the huge step into his car. He wondered if he should tell someone where they were going or the fact that they were leaving first, but he could still hear their raised voices. "Where should I...?"

"Anywhere." Sara pulled her seatbelt on, staring out of the window beside her. She opened the window once he started driving, enjoying the cool breeze against her skin. She hoped that he would just drive for hours without asking any questions, but he pulled up outside their usual within a few minutes. She didn't want to go inside, so he went in by himself, grabbing some coffees to go. "You know I can't drink that."

"Not even decaf?" He looked at the coffee mugs in his hands.

"No, no coffee at all." Sara leant further back in her seat, smoothing her hand across her stomach. "I didn't want to chance it with the baby."

"Sara..."

"I don't want to talk about it." She cut him off, feeling the shakes in her hands finally beginning to subside. "After twenty years, I still can't stand the sound of raised voices. It really doesn't matter how far away you get from your past, it never leaves you."

"Gris isn't like your father, Sara. History won't repeat itself with him." Nick assured her. "I've never really heard him raise his voice before. The man couldn't hurt a fly."

"I know." Sara nodded slightly, holding her stomach tightly. "You don't always have to commit violence to hurt someone though. Hiding the truth can hurt just as much." She glanced towards Nick as she heard his cell ring, seeing 'Grissom' flash across his screen. "I don't want to talk to him."

"He'll be worried."

"Nick." She gave him a pleading look. "Please, not now. I don't want to."

Nick ignored the call, feeling as though he had just defied his father. "You know that this is all Ecklie's fault. Before he came along and split us all up, we were a family. We had each other's backs, no matter what. But now..."

"Family's falling apart." Sara agreed with him. "Maybe it would be best if we leave here."

"We?" He looked at her confused. "Is that 'we' a family with Grissom or just you and the baby?"

"Can you see Grissom leaving the lab behind?" It broke her heart to think that he would never leave the lab behind for her and their family, but she knew that was what he was like. "It's hard to trust someone who doesn't always tell you the truth. Who can't tell you how he feels, what he's thinking or feeling. I know that's just the way that he is, but maybe I need more than that. I can't come second to the lies. Coming second to the job is just fine. I don't want to take that away from him, but I need to be able to trust him."

Grabbing his cell as it started to ring again, Nick extended his arm towards her, letting her see who it was. "It works both ways, Sara. You have to tell him how you feel, what you think. Neither of you will ever be able to trust each other, if you don't trust yourselves first. You can't bring a baby into a relationship like that."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading!**

 **I'm so glad to finally have this chapter complete. I've been working on this every ounce of free time that I've had this month, so I hope it was worth the read and you enjoyed the teams quality time together, before it all came crashing down. I don't like conflict in life or stories, but I felt that it was** **necessary here. (Nick and Sara's relationship is simply a friendship, so don't freak out) And d** **on't worry, I'm not going to let the GSR end there.** **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far. Please let me know what you thought of this next chapter and hopefully, I will have another chapter ready before Christmas!**

 **Enjoy the rest of your week!**

 **Happy Thanksgiving!**

 **~ Holly**


	16. Oath

**Chapter Sixteen - Oath**

Less than an hour after the disastrous baby shower had ended, Grissom remained sat at the island in Catherine's kitchen, staring at his phone on the counter. He glanced up every now and then as Catherine, Greg or Lindsey made their way around the front room, clearing away the food, drinks and party decorations. He had spoken to his significant other briefly on the phone, only to hear her say that she needed time. He didn't know how much time she needed, but he was hoping that she would call him back in the next few minutes, so he didn't have to feel this terrible aching sensation in his chest any longer. He couldn't describe exactly how it felt, he just knew that it hurt too much to bear any longer.

He wanted it gone.

"Mr Grissom." Lindsey appeared beside him, still dressed in her fairy godmother getup. She had misplaced her wish granting wand and her pigtails were a little lopsided, but she still looked adorable.

He perked up his eyebrows, giving her a curious look.

"I made this for you." She revealed the picture she had hidden behind her back. She placed it down in front of him, giving the man a nervous smile as he looked it over. "That's Auntie Sara. There's Mommy, me and that's you and the baby. Mommy said I could be a cousin to your baby when it's born."

Grissom managed a slight smile, noticing that the baby had a crown on their head, lightly decorated with brightly coloured gems. The one on Lindsey's head in the drawing was very similar, but she seemed to favour red rubies more than the jade emeralds on the other.

"Thank you, Lindsey."

The fairy godmother gave him a toothy grin, skipping away to the front room. She shrieked as Greg playfully tickled her to the couch beside him, bringing another smile to Grissom's lips.

It was so close to their own baby's due date now that he found himself picturing what his own child would look like. He pictured a child with Sara's beautiful brown eyes and short wisps of her chocolate brown hair. He hoped that they would have even half the strength that she had and the courage to stand up for what they believed in. He didn't know which of his traits would pass onto his child. He feared that they would have a troubled time if they had all of his traits. He was a ghost in school, mostly by choice. He was picked on terribly throughout middle school for his eagerness to learn. Highschool was a little easier to glide through under the radar, but he wouldn't want to relive that stage of his life for anything in the world.

His childhood was a little easier to live through. He remembered many long hot summers as a boy. He often visited the art gallery where his mother worked, cooling off under the air conditioning after school, while he examined all the latest art work. He liked Vincent Van Gogh's paintings the most. The ones his mother sold at her gallery in California were too modern for his taste. They didn't have the same eye for detail or paint portraits of beautiful women like the old artists did, but there was an occasional artist here and there who had a touch of Picasso in their art work or the vibrant colours of Leonid Afremov, one of his mother's favourite painters to date.

Spending time with his father was very different. On the rare occasion that he wasn't tied up with work, they spent their time fishing or reading together. He didn't spend an awful lot of time with him when he was a boy, but when he did, he always remembered a wide smile on father's lips. Whether he was teaching him something new or simply talking about his day, he was always smiling. He missed seeing that smile.

When his father was taken from him so abruptly, Grissom was still just a boy of nine years old. He felt as though he had an empty space in his heart after he lost him. A space that could never be filled, so he avoided relationships at all costs for fear of that same heart ache.

It was too late to back out with Sara though.

"That's all the gifts packed away." Catherine stuffed the last of the brightly coloured wrapping paper into the trash bag, dragging it over the door, before she cast her eyes towards Grissom. She had seen that same look on his face many times, mostly when he was thinking about a victim from their case. She never thought he would have his heart broken by a woman like that, mostly because he had never put himself out there to get his heart broken before.

It pained her to see him like this now.

"If you want, I can make up the guest bedroom for you." She suggested, tapping his hand as he continued to stare at his phone. "Gil, just give her some time to get her head past this. Did you explain what happened to her?"

Grissom shook his head slightly, keeping his eyes fixated on the screen of his phone.

"Sara isn't going to hold this against you. She's a smart woman. From what you told me, it was clearly Sofia that was at fault." Catherine leant on the counter, trying to get him to look up at her. "Don't go beating yourself up over this. You didn't do anything wrong. You're both just so... stubborn."

"It's not that." He shook his head, dropping his head into his hands.

"It's Christmas Day tomorrow." Catherine decided to remind him, touching her hand to his. She finally sparked his attention, getting her first view of those baby blues, full of sadness. "Remember Christmas? A time for family and happiness. Something the two of you have lacked these past few years... or maybe even decades?" She cracked a grin. "Find her. Talk to her. All you need to do is talk, Gil. It's really not that hard. Just open your mouth, let that brilliant mind of yours get some exercise and talk to her."

"I do talk to her." He objected to that statement, thinking back to how much he had already shared with Sara that very morning. He wasn't about to let Catherine know what he had said to her, but that was the most he had ever opened up to anyone in his whole entire life.

"You took a gamble with your career to express your true feelings for Sara. Why won't you do the same to save your relationship for the sake of your unborn baby?"

"I don't gamble."

"You're going to be a father very soon. You can't hold everything in like you do with a baby around. Don't you remember what your father was like with you?"

"Not really." The man spoke softly, staring off into space for a moment. He hadn't noticed it before, but Catherine had a Christmas tree displayed in the dining room. The lights had come on now that it was dark, twinkling softly in the dimly lit room. He felt his heart flutter from the sight, remembering his Christmas' as a child.

"You never talk about your father." Catherine noticed, giving him a curious look. "What happened to him or was he just a no show like mine?"

"He died when I was still just a boy. Nine. He taught botany at the local college. He came home from school one hot summers day, lay down on the sofa... and he never got up. I had been watching television at the time. My mother brought in some ice cold lemonade she had made herself. She handed me a glass then she tried to wake him... but he was so still. He had died right behind me and no one would tell me why."

After a long pause, he lifted his eyes to see where Lindsey had got to. She had moved from the sofa to kneeling around the coffee table with Greg, putting together some sort of Lego blocks to build a fairy princesses castle.

"After he died, I remember my mother always bought him a Christmas present. She'd wrap it up and put it under the tree, every year without fail. Come Christmas morning, the wrapping paper would be torn off before I even got up and the gift already put away. She kept his clothes in his wardrobe, washed and ironed every few months. It didn't make sense why she would do that for someone that was gone, but she told me that she loved him too much to just let his memory fade."

Catherine softly patted him on the shoulder, giving him a wide smile. "See, you can share. Now you just have to learn to do that with the mother of your child."

"It doesn't exactly come naturally to me." He pointed out to her. "What am I supposed to do, tell her my entire life story in the hopes that she doesn't leave me? I have my own way of dealing with things."

"It's bound to be difficult. No one said it was going to be easy. If it was easy, it would be boring." Catherine tapped his hand, sympathising with him. "The two of you got together under very difficult circumstances. Your relationship has been pressured by this upcoming baby and the stress of the lab changes. You haven't had the time to just sit and take a breather, enjoying each other's company. It's no wonder that you've managed to stay together this long."

Grissom turned to look at her, shooting daggers at her with his eyes.

"You know I didn't mean it like that, Gil. I only meant that because of the circumstances, anyone would struggle to keep a relationship close. Having a baby is a huge step to take, especially right at the beginning of a new relationship. It doesn't matter how well you think you know the other person, you're still both being thrown in at the deep end of the parenting pool. A baby can tear apart even the strongest of relationships and you, well you're not exactly an open person and Sara... she was going through a lot already with her family problems. She seems to think that history is going to repeat itself. That she's going to make this baby's life a nightmare like hers did to her. If she keeps thinking that way, she might well make it true, so you have to be there for her. You both have to be there for each other. You don't have time to get to know each other like any other relationship. You either have to suck it up and stick it out for this baby or work out some other arrangement that suits you both."

"I won't leave her. I won't leave either of them." He spoke in a barely audible whisper, but she could tell that he meant it.

"Talk to her then. Go and see her, wherever she is, just go. It can't be much worse than sitting here, staring off into space." Catherine sighed softly, snatching away the phone he had been staring at. She held it just out of his reach so she could hit Sara's speed dial, handing it back to him once it started to ring. "Talk to her." She practically mouthed the words, leaving him to it.

Grissom listened to the ringing of his phone, tempted to hang up, but this time she actually answered. He cleared his throat, moving the phone to his other ear. "Hello?" He listened to the silence, hearing soft breaths coming through the receiver. He felt his heart racing, wishing she would say something so that he knew it was really her. "I need to see you." He finally spoke. "I want to... talk... explain things. But I need to see you to do it."

Sara sighed softly, agreeing that they needed to talk. "Where?"

Relieved that he got an answer, Grissom quickly thought of a place they could go off the top of his head, giving her directions. He jumped down from the stool he had been sat on with a hint of excitement in his step, hurrying towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Catherine called after him.

"To see, Sara." The man grabbed his jacket, practically skipping out the door.

"You're welcome!"

* * *

Thanking her friend at the edge of the car park, Sara stayed long enough to see him off, before she made her way into the joint. It was a nice enough place. Grissom picked it because it was out of the way of the bustling city. The decor was casual enough for friends to meet on neutral ground and just intimate enough to initiate a serious conversation.

As soon as she saw him inside, she felt the tension between them from the mistrust. She passed by the pine fresh Christmas tree, sitting herself opposite the man.

"Before you say anything," Sara shrugged her jacket off, setting her bag on the chair beside her. "I don't want to hear that it was an accident. I listened to my mother say that it was just an accident a thousand times over. My father threw her down the stairs one Christmas, breaking three ribs, fracturing her skull and dislocating her shoulder. I sat there in that hospital room with her, listening to her telling everyone that it was just an accident. Just another unfortunate event in our lives, so I don't want to hear it."

"Okay." Grissom nodded to her, clasping his hands together on the table. He was just relieved that she actually turned up, rather than leaving him sat alone for hours on end like so many had done in the past.

Sara kept her mouth shut for a moment, trying to get her thoughts straight in her head. She came here to hear him out, but looking at him after what she heard just a few hours ago, she just wanted him to feel the pain in her chest that he had caused by his betrayal.

"Do you trust me, Sara?" He asked, glancing up as the waitress made her way over to them. He shook his head, ushering her away for now, until they at least had the chance to clear the air.

Sara shrugged her shoulders together. "It's difficult to trust someone who doesn't always tell you the truth. You know that I have trust issues already, especially with men." She picked up one of the menu's from the middle of the table. "I thought I could trust you."

"You can." He reached across the table for her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. "You can trust me, Sara."

"Lying to me won't make me trust you."

"I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you or put you in harm's way, you have to believe that. You can trust that I have your best interests at heart. Technically speaking, I did not lie to you. I know that I didn't tell you the truth, but I didn't lie to you. I didn't tell you about what happened because it was so small and insignificant."

"What _did_ happen?" She looked into his eyes, waiting for the truth.

Although he didn't want to expose a colleagues secret without her permission, Grissom valued his relationship with Sara a lot more than he did with the people that he worked with. "A while back, I discovered that Miss Curtis... Sofia... she has a child. She didn't want anyone else to know at the lab. Her husband left her for another woman. Ecklie demoted her because she was unable to balance child care with her career. The other day she was upset because her ex husband is seeking sole custody of their daughter. If he wins the case, he's going to take her out of state. She didn't say where, but she believes he has a stronger case than hers and she was terrified that she would never see her again."

Taking a moment to take all the information in, Sara nodded softly, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "What happened between you two?"

"Nothing." Grissom quickly answered, feeling as though he was on trial.

"Please don't insult me, Gilbert."

Trying to think back to the event, the man confessed, "I comforted her, like I would have done with anyone else from my team. Sofia... she... she must have misread my actions and attempted to kiss me. I pulled back before she could. Warrick walked in on us and before I could offer any kind of explanation, Catherine burst in on us about the missing child. I never had the chance to explain what happened to him or work things out with her. Tension was already high in the lab, so anything that I did say... he wouldn't listen to reason."

"Did you want to kiss her?"

"No." He instantly answered. "Absolutely not. I've never wanted to kiss anyone." The man shook his head, still holding Sara's hand across the table. "It's only ever been you."

"What about, Teri Miller?" As much as she hated lab gossip, she couldn't help but let it get to her, especially when it was the father of her child she was hearing about. "Did you ever have a thing with her?"

"A thing?" He furrowed his brow.

"A relationship." Sara rolled her eyes. "Please, just tell me the truth. Did you and Teri Miller have any... intimate kind of relationship?"

"No. Just friends." He assured her. "We had a... purely professional bond. I admit that I admired her. Her field interested me. But we never even made it to dinner. I missed our dinner date... then she kept turning me down. As much as I admire her, it was a professional relationship, never a romantic one."

"And Lady Heather?" Sara felt her throat tightening as she spoke. She feared his answer to this question more than any other.

Grissom looked her in the eyes with his beautiful diamond like gems, shaking his head. "I never. Heather Kessler has only ever been a friend to me. Her field fascinated me. I admired her, but she was just a friend. It was a friendship that was cut short far too soon, but still it was just a friendship. I have no desire to be with any other woman." He placed his other hand on top of hers, looking into her eyes. "I'm a socially awkward science nerd. I have a radiated fetal pig in my office. I ride roller coasters in my free time and I've only ever loved one woman in all my life."

"What are you doing?" Sara gave the man a curious look.

"The line of questioning makes me feel as though I'm on a first date, so I thought I should get the formalities out of the way." Leaning back in his seat, Grissom confessed, "I still remember our first date. I wish I had asked you more questions. I wanted to know you. I wanted to know everything about you. Everything you thought. Everything you felt... but I couldn't get the words out."

"If I remember correctly, I was the one asking the questions."

"You barely gave me time to answer one question, before you were asking me another." He smiled at the memory. "I was surprised you even managed to finish the meal in front of you at the rate you were talking."

"I was nervous." Sara smiled at the man in front of her, leaning back as the waitress bought them over some water for the table. She set down a Christmas specials menu, leaving them to it after she realised that their menu's hadn't even been opened yet.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you by keeping this from you, my dear." The man continued with his apology, still holding her hands across the table. "I didn't think that what happened really meant anything. With everything else going on at the lab, with the team and the case, I barely noticed that it happened. That's why I said it was so small and insignificant. If I thought for a second that it could tear us apart, I would have told you. I didn't think that Warrick would go as far as accusing us of..."

"Maybe we jumped into this too quickly."

"Huh?" Her comment caught him off guard. For the past few months, Sara had consumed his every thought in a way no one ever had before. He finally understood what it was like to be head over heels in love with someone and he wasn't ready to let it slip through his fingers. "Sara..."

"I'm fifteen years younger than you." Sara pointed out a cold hard truth to him that he had always been afraid of. "Before I came along and ruined your career with my path of self destruction and this kid, you were climbing the ranks of the most prestigious crime lab in the country. You're a decorated criminalist, widely admired for your expertise in entomology. We're leagues apart and everyone knows it."

"I thought that we didn't care what anyone thought?" He clutched her fingers tighter, helplessly looking into her eyes. "Sara, I can't lose you. Not when we're about to take this huge leap forwards. I don't want to lose you. I can't just stand back and admit defeat after everything that we've been through. I don't care about my career or my reputation. I care about you and this baby more than some job. Careers come and go, but this is my chance to be a father."

"I don't want to lose you either. The last thing I want to do is bring this baby into the world on my own. But how can I trust you if you only tell me what you think I need to hear, Gil?" Sara pulled her hand back to wipe the tears from her cheek. "I have a hard enough time trusting people already. I know that's my own fault, not yours..."

"You've filled the empty void in my life." He decided that pouring his heart out to her was the only way to win her back. It worked for all the characters in Shakespeare's plays, but he had to find his own words this time. "I'd all but given up on dating. I thought I was destined to be alone. I love to read the real heartfelt love stories between the pages of a romance novel, but I could never get it right in practice. Then there was you. You must have trusted me at one point. You left the only family you had ever known back in the San Francisco lab to join my team here in Las Vegas. I don't know if I planned the whole thing from that first call to asking you to stay, but I'm glad that I did what I did, because you've filled this empty void in my life with something that I didn't even realise I was missing out on."

"I must have trusted you." Sara couldn't even remember her thought process when she had been asked to join the lab here in Las Vegas. She remembered that she was terrified about leaving her old life behind, all her colleagues there had become like a second family to her, but she was also excited about the new beginning.

With a small smile plastered across her lips, she asked, "Are you telling me that you set this whole thing up subconsciously?"

"No." He blushed, stammering, "I was... just... when you came here to help out during the Holly Gribbs investigation, it was a rough time for us all. You were exactly what we needed at the time and you made the lab... feel... more like home again. Safe. I trusted you to get to the truth and you did just that. That's why I thought you were a good fit."

"So you didn't ask me to stay for you?" Sara probed.

The man shrugged his shoulders together, blushing just a little more. "Maybe just a little. You can't tell anyone I said that." He quickly warned her, fearing the consequences it would have at the lab. "I'm already under investigation for my leadership skills in the lab. What's it going to look like if I purposely hired a new CSI that happened to be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen?"

Sara couldn't help but smile, catching a scowl in the distance from their impatient waitress. "I think we should hurry up and order something before they kick us out."

"You mean you're staying?" He thought for sure he had lost her already, but she surprised him again by staying for a meal with him.

"Lucky for you, this baby of yours needs feeding." Sara finally opened up her menu, looking for the vegetarian section. She skipped past the pasta dishes, avoiding the veggie burgers until she found a tomato and caper linguine that looked delicious in the photo. She waited for their waitress to return to take their orders to the kitchen, before she lifted her gaze to meet Grissom's bright blue eyes. "I've crashed and burned every relationship I've ever been in. Practically every relationship I've ever been in has ended with a betrayal on their part. I've started to wonder if it's me that causes them to do that. Maybe I'm the one that pushes them over the edge. I'm not enough."

"You are enough."

"Am I really?" She couldn't help but worry about the next time things went south for them.

"I know that I hurt you by not telling you the truth, but I didn't cheat on you, Sara. You believe me, don't you?"

"I believe you." Sara spoke softly, placing her hand on her stomach. "But it still feels like a betrayal to me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again. I want to because we have this baby about to enter our lives, but how can I if you pick and choose which truths to tell me?"

Feeling his heart pounding against the surface of his chest, Grissom pursed his lips tightly together, biting back his tears at the thought of losing her. He blamed himself completely. He couldn't even pass the blame to Sofia or Warrick, it was all him. His habit of shutting people out, keeping them at a distance to avoid getting hurt, it was all down to him.

"You're my second chance at life, Sara. I'm a middle aged man. My work has completely consumed my life. The only contact I had with people before you was the dead through latex gloves. When you came along, everything changed for me. You're young and beautiful. You breathed life back into me. I'm willing to risk everything that I've worked for to be there for you. I'll give up my career for you in a heartbeat. I'll go wherever you want, do whatever you want... I just want to be with you." He hoped that was enough, noticing that the other patrons were beginning to stare. He avoided their looks, keeping his eyes on Sara. "You're my everything. I don't know how else I can tell you that, but you are. I want you in my life, for as long as possible. I don't think I could go on living if I lost you."

Sara felt her heart warming. "I never said that you should give up your career."

"But I'm willing to. If it gets in the way of what we have," In the past his career had jeopardised so many relationships. He wasn't willing to put his relationship with Sara on the line for the sake of his career. "I can find something else to do. I've always wanted to teach. I've never wanted to lead a team. You know as well as I do that I'm not a good leader."

"I think you're a better leader than you think."

"I'm serious." Grissom grasped hold of her hand a little tighter. "You and our baby is all that matters to me now. I can do without the career. There are other things that I've always wanted to do. I've just never had the motivation to do them before. With you at my side, I feel as though I have no limitations. But I fear that without you, I'll be lost again." He confessed. "You said that you tend to choose emotionally unavailable men. I'm not emotionally unavailable anymore. I want to be close to you. I want to be there for. You've changed me, Sara. You have no idea just how much. All you have to do is let me."

Grateful that she had been sitting down for that rather long confession, all Sara could do was smile.

Thankfully, the waitress brought over their food after that, filling the silence with the sound of cutlery hitting plates. She didn't know if it was because of her nerves or because of what happened earlier, but she felt starving. She gulped down every last bite of her linguine, saving room for a big slice of white chocolate and blueberry cheese cake at the end. He even picked up the tab, escorting her out like a gentleman.

It was the perfect date.

"Will you come home with me?" Grissom led the way outside, turning to face her on the curb. "I don't think that I could sleep without at my side."

Sara looked a little apprehensive, but she really wanted to sleep in her own bed again, especially with this back pain she had been suffering through all day. She hesitantly took a step towards him, brushing her thumb across his cheek. She placed her other hand flat on his chest, feeling the pounding of his heart through the fabric of his shirt. "I love you, Gil."

"Why do I sense a but coming up?"

Instead of saying anything, Sara closed the gap between them. Her long fingers entwined themselves in his hair. He felt his breath catch in his throat as she sealed their lips together, kissing him tenderly. She could feel his heart pounding more heavily as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, dancing it around his own.

Pulling back for breath, Grissom gasped, "Sara, I..." His protests were immediately cut off by her lips on his again. He finally began to kiss her back, feeling as though it was their first kiss in a lifetime of being so far apart.

His mind flashed back to their first kiss. She was so troubled back then. It seemed like such a long time ago now, but it had barely been a year. He didn't know how to help or what to do, but somehow he found himself kissing her. He couldn't remember who initiated the kiss. It didn't really matter at the time. He remembered how he tried to stop it once it started, but Sara's deep chocolate brown eyes kept drawing him in. Before he realised what was happening, he had swept her onto the bed in one swift movement, kissing her hungrily, lustfully. His body took over from there. His urges, a deep animal instinct, exposing what he had fantasised about for so long.

He didn't regret a moment of it, not even the baby that was made during that one night of passion.

He only wished that she would see it that way.

When she abruptly ended their kiss, Grissom snapped his eyes open to look at her, seeing the pain in her eyes. She looked more troubled than satisfied. She had a hand on her side, turning pale as she felt an odd sensation from below.

"What is it? The baby."

Sara nodded, taking a step back to be sure. "Ah... I think my water just broke."

"Now? Here." Grissom took her arm for support, glad that they managed to clear the air before their child arrived, but he wasn't expecting it to be this soon. "Are you sure? We still have two more weeks until the due date."

"You know that it's just an estimate. It's not an exact science." Sara couldn't help but smile at the man, feeling a twinge in her side. She had been feeling them all morning, but she just thought that they were hunger pains. Even after their huge meal she just thought it was from eating too much too fast, she would never of guessed that it was the start of her labour. "Oh... it's been getting a little worse all day. I didn't think that it could be a contraction. But I've been having pains all day. They woke me up last night too."

"Contractions?" He grabbed her bag for her, before the contents spilled onto the floor.

"I don't know. It feels like pressure in my lower back. It's been coming and going in waves all day. Where's your car?"

"Just over there." He motioned in the distance. The car park was relatively empty, but she could just about make out the shape of his car on the edge of the rather large car park for such a small restaurant off the beaten path. "So um... what do we need to do... hospital?" The panic started to set in already.

"Home." Sara held her sides. "If we go in too early, they'll just send us home again."

Grissom thought that the safest place would be the hospital, but he didn't want to go against her wishes. "Can you walk to the car?"

"Not that far."

"Okay... stay here. I'll be right back." Grissom led her towards an area that was covered with potted plants. He made sure that she grabbed hold of the lamp post in the middle to support herself, before he took off for his car. He dropped his keys on the concrete his first attempt to get inside, shaking with nerves at the thought of finally seeing his child being born.

When he finally got inside, he pushed the pile of paperwork off his passenger seat, quickly starting up the car. He put his foot down without taking the parking brake off, taking a moment to figure out what was wrong, before he made his way over to where he had left, Sara. He popped open the passenger side door beside him, quickly jumping out of the car to help her inside.

"I think we should go to the hospital." He went against her plan. "It's closer than home. It won't hurt to get checked out."

"Wait, wait... what about the hospital bag?" Sara eased herself into the car, breathing heavily as the man reached over her to buckle her in. "We have to go and get it. We can't go to the hospital without it."

"It's not packed." Grissom reminded her, successfully managing to stretch the strap of the seatbelt across her belly. "We were going to do it the other day, but we got distracted." He reminded her.

"Damn it." She suddenly grabbed hold of his hand, clutching it tightly as she panted through the contractions stirring below. He breathed with her, trying to remember their training from their early birthing classes. The last few classes were a bit of a blur to him, but he remembered the breathing exercises that they had to go through.

"When was the last one?" Grissom consulted his watch, once he was sure the pain had subsided.

"The pain? Just before our waitress bought out the desserts, I think. It only lasted a few seconds. It didn't hurt like this though. It was just... like a cramp."

"Around... twenty to twenty five minutes then, we've still got time. They should get closer together and longer once you're closer to giving birth." He placed the watch in her hand, pushing the door shut, so he could hurry round to the driver's seat. He thought they would miss the rush hour traffic on the way to the house, but he seemed to got them stuck right in the middle of it at high tide.

Grissom reached his hand across the middle of the car, entwining his fingers with Sara's to give her some comfort. He gave her a smile while they continued to wait, noticing the liquid beginning to pool around her feet. He had been reading up quite a lot lately on childbirth and labour, but he hadn't actually seen amniotic fluid up close before. He didn't think he would see much of anything until the baby was born.

"Perhaps I should have put down a towel." He had a sudden thought.

"Oh, did I mess up your car?" Sara leant forwards, wishing she hadn't as she saw the fluid running down her legs. She was relieved that she had the sense to wear a dress today, but it didn't save her any embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'll pay to have it cleaned if we make it through this."

"I don't care about the car, Sara. The car is the last thing on my mind at the moment."

"Sorry." Leaning back in her seat, Sara adjusted herself to a comfier position, wishing the traffic would let up soon. She didn't plan on giving birth in the cramped space of a car, especially in one that smelt like wet dog. "Did you take Hank for a walk last night?"

Grissom shook his head, trying to find a gap in the traffic to take the next exit. "I was too exhausted after my shift. The dog walker took him out for a quick one though."

"If we had a garden, we wouldn't have to worry about taking him out all the time. It's going to be harder keeping to a baby's schedule already." She started rubbing her side, trying to ease the pain a little. "Where did you put my bag?"

"In the back." He quickly retrieved it from between the seats, watching her searching for her phone. "Who are you calling?"

"The doctor. The hospital. And maybe, Catherine. If we can't make it home, we might need her to get the hospital bag for us."

"You want to go the hospital?" He had to look at her to make sure he heard her right.

"Everything for the bag was right beside it. Catherine should be able to find it all."

"You're even organised during labour." The man couldn't help but smile, turning his attention towards the road as the cars in front of them started moving. "If we take this road it'll take us towards the lab. Quickest way to the hospital from here."

"Take it. I'll text Catherine first."

Before she had the chance to send her a message, Sara's phone slipped from her hand, landing at her feet. She attempted to bend to reach it, but she couldn't bend that far with her belly in the way.

Embarrassed that she couldn't reach it, Sara sighed, asking, "Can I use your phone?"

Grissom pulled to a stop at the next junction, retrieving his phone from his jacket pocket for her. "What happened to yours?"

Sara simply smiled at the man, tapping away on his outdated device that he called a phone to try and get a message to Catherine, before her next contraction arrived. She was thankful that it only lasted about thirty seconds, but she was a little disappointed that it wasn't at all what she was expecting when people complained about the pain.

"Do you know where I park?" Grissom approached the turning for the hospital, wondering where the maternity ward even was. He had visited the morgue many times, but as a crime scene investigator, he never had a need to visit a ward that helped bring life into the world. Life wasn't exactly in his job description.

"Wait." Sara peered out the window, trying to look at the signs in the distance. "I think it's over that way. Nick and I worked a case involving a pregnant suspect that we had to take to the maternity ward. I'm pretty sure the entrance is over there."

"I don't remember that case."

"Catherine made us switch with her after she found out that our suspect was the one who drowned her children in the pool. There's a space there." Sara quickly pointed it out to him. "Here. Right, Gil. You've gone too far."

"Relax, I'm reversing in." The man gave her a smile, putting the car in reverse. He slowly pulled the car into the empty space, giving Sara just enough room to climb out the other side. "Stay there, I'll come get you." He climbed out first, hurrying around to the other side to help her out. "I've got you, my dear."

Sara took his hand, holding onto his shoulder to straighten herself up. "I don't know if I can do this." She looked up at the monstrous looking building in front of them, feeling as though it was towering over them.

"You can." He clutched her tight, supporting her just as he promised he would. "But you don't have to do it alone. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so far.**

 **Please let me know what you thought. I'll try and get the next chapter ready before Christmas.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	17. Rejoice

**Thank you for all your reviews on the last chapter. Here's the next update as promised.**

 **Happy Christmas!**

 **Quick warning for slight gore in this chapter.**

 **Chapter Seventeen - Rejoice**

"As far as we can tell, there was only one shooter. He or she used a semi automatic weapon. Middle of the afternoon, highly public location. Lots of traffic. Right in the heart of the city, where everyone was doing their last minute Christmas shopping. You don't pick a location that public, unless you're trying to make a statement to somebody. So far three dead, about half a dozen wounded. We might have got lucky with the security cameras from the store across the street. But,"

The Captain paused to suck in a sharp breath, looking at the man beside him. He wasn't entirely sure if he was still listening to him, but he continued anyway.

"It's gonna take some time to look through the footage. The Sheriff is pushing us for an for answer on this one. Even the Lab Director is up our asses on this one, demanding answers, when the crime scene is only a few hours old. Shots fired, people running around screaming. Then there's the traffic of the security guards, paramedics, my officers... we were lucky to even find one shell casing in that mess."

"Are the victims here in the hospital?" Grissom asked, finding the distraction soothing.

Captain Brass nodded, grabbing the black coffee in front of him, once the machine had filled the paper cup to the brim. "Yeah, two of them here in Desert Palms. A fifty year old male on his way to the jewellers. Engraving his wife's wedding ring for their twenty fifth anniversary... I can never remember if that's gold or silver." He had a sudden thought.

"Silver." Grissom answered, staring blankly at the machine in front of him. "Golden is for fifty years. It dates back to the Holy Roman Empire, when husbands crowned their wives with a silver wreath to celebrate their twenty fifth anniversary. It's a sign that their love could stand the test of time. They'd crown their wives with a golden one for fifty."

"Huh," Brass smirked after learning something new. He perched himself on the edge of the table behind him, looking at Grissom in front of him. "The other victim was a thirty year old mother of three. She's just got out of surgery. I'm on my way to see her now. The walking wounded were being treated on site. I'm amazed that there wasn't more, but Nicky seems to think that our shooter had one target in mind."

"Sounds like a reasonable theory." Grissom nodded in agreement.

"Hey, aren't you off shift, Gil? What are you even doing here at this time?" He wasn't expecting to see him of all people at the hospital, especially on his day off, but there he was, hanging around the coffee machines in the cafeteria of the hospital.

"I'm here with Sara." He looked back at the change he still had in his open palm, trying to remember what he even wanted. He only intended on leaving her side for just a moment to get himself a coffee, but he had been stood by the coffee machines for what felt like hours.

"Sara's here in the hospital?" Captain Brass dropped his jaw, before he tapped the man on the shoulder. "Does that mean that she's in labour? Where is she?"

"Maternity."

"She's having the baby now? Why aren't you with her?"

Grissom ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the clock on the wall. "Because... she's been in labour for... nearly six hours now. All I can do is sit there and watch. The contractions are still too far apart. She's not fully dilated yet. The doctor said we should get some sleep." He hoped that it would be soon because both he and Sara were exhausted, but at the same time, he was terrified that today could finally be the day that he was going to be a father.

"Congratulations, Gil." Brass beamed a smile in his direction, but his smile wasn't returned. "Shouldn't you be over the moon right now?"

"The woman I love is screaming out in pain and all I can do is sit there. I'm overjoyed." Grissom spoke softly, shoving the change back into his pocket. He really didn't fancy a coffee anymore. He didn't even fancy sticking around anymore. He had to get back to her. "Who's the lead on your case?" He turned to look at the man from the doorway.

"Uh... Curtis." He remembered debriefing her at the scene. "Catherine's got the day off with Lindsey, it being Christmas and all. I heard that she's not back on shift until January now. You know, I don't think I've had a Christmas vacation in... four, five... almost six years now. And even then it was just for a few days."

Grissom stroked the stubble beginning to appear on his jaw, watching the Captain stirring in his second packet of sweetener. He knew the coffee in this place was bad, but sweetener wasn't going to make it any better. "Who else is on shift?" He queried.

"Uh... at the scene I saw Nicky Stokes and Sanders collecting trace evidence. Conrad was dealing with the press on the other side of the tape. Rick rode back to the morgue with the Doc and the bodies, while Curtis and that new guy were taking witness statements."

"Put Warrick in charge of the scene." Grissom made a suggestion. "Sofia's head isn't in the right place at the moment. Warrick's head strong, but he'll get the job done. He knows the team. He knows their strengths. Sofia hasn't spent enough time in the field with them to lead them."

"Are you sure?" Brass gave the man a curious look. "Sofia isn't going to like taking second place after all her hard work."

"My team have worked just as hard. Tell her I authorised it. I'm still technically in charge of the shift. Ecklie doesn't have the power to take that away from me. Warrick's a better leader for the team during a case like this and Conrad knows it or he wouldn't have demoted Sofia in the first place. He's still Catherine's second in command. Sofia earned her position due to a technicality."

"Losing faith in your team, Gil?"

"Knowing their strengths." Grissom corrected him, finally listening to Sara's advice. He turned for the door, feeling brave enough to return upstairs. "I'll see you later, Jim. Let me know if the team need any help."

"I think we've got it covered. Keep us updated, Gil." Brass called after him. "The whole team will be dying to know what little Grissom/Sidle looks like. My moneys on Sara's looks."

Grissom gave the man a wave, passing by the stores out in the hospital lobby. He saw a stand full of get well soon cards, birthday cards, new baby greetings, deepest sympathies, congratulations and thank you cards. Beside it stood a table devoted to flowers, the plastic kind. He knew Sara's favourite was an Orchid, but they didn't seem to have one in stock and the ones that they did looked far too fake to mean any kind of sentiment.

Taking a step back, he noticed a small shelf with equally small bears sat in a row. He stood still for a moment to examine them all, spotting a beanie baby teddy bear in the shape of a butterfly. It looked a lot like the black and yellow, regent skipper, also known as the Euschemon Rafflesia, mostly found in Australia. He managed to add one to his collection last year thanks to a sneaky eBay auction at work, but he couldn't exactly give that to his newborn.

It was far too fragile to be in the hands of a baby.

"Can I help you with something?" A young woman with the nametag 'Mary' appeared in front of him, giving him a toothy grin. "Are you visiting someone here in the hospital?"

Grissom nodded his head slightly, motioning her attention towards the butterfly. "Can I take a look at the butterfly, please. The black and yellow one."

"Ooh, gift for a grandchild?" She plucked it down from the shelf. "Boy or girl?"

"How much?" He avoided that insult, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. He forked over a few bills for it, ignoring her question about the gift bag, deciding to take it as is. He hurried for the elevator doors before they closed, letting the nurse in front of him push the button to her floor. He rode it all the way up to the tenth floor with her, staring at the butterfly in his hands the whole time. He didn't know if Sara or the baby would even like it, but he felt as though it was the only thing he was good for at the moment.

When he finally arrived back on maternity, he pushed the buzzer outside the ward, clutching the butterfly tightly in his hands as he waited for them to buzz him through. He thought they would refuse to let him in, turning him away to geriatrics or something, but the beefy blonde midwife who first admitted them recognised him right away.

"Hello, Mr Grissom." Janet greeted him with a sunny smile from behind the desk. She looked as though she was in her sixties from the wrinkles and short achy stature, but she was more lively than the younger ones they had seen on the night shift so far. "Did you find your way down to the cafeteria alright?"

"I did." He let the door close behind him. "I couldn't see any of that meatloaf you were on about though."

"Oh, must have sold out already. I told you it was good." She cackled with laughter. "Never mind, they'll be serving up the turkey roast soon enough. You never know, you might have a baby before then and you'll be home in time for Christmas dinner."

"I hope so." Grissom gave her a smile, making the turn for Sara's room. He followed the narrow hallway down to room seven at the end, glancing in the open doorway across the hall.

From his position he could see a young man, not much older than Greg, coaching his wife through her next contraction. She screamed and groaned in a way he had never heard before, but her partner stayed strong at her side. He stayed positive despite the agony she was in, giving Grissom his doubts that he could do the same for Sara.

He dealt with death on a daily basis. Seeing someone he loved in pain was different.

"There you are." Sara smiled towards the door as he finally returned. "I thought you got lost. I was about to send out a search party."

"Sorry, I got held up. Jim was down in the cafeteria." Grissom closed the door behind him, blocking out the noise of the screaming woman next door. "He was bringing me up to speed on the case he's working. A shooter in the centre of town. Three dead at the scene, two in the hospital and half a dozen walking wounded..."

"Gil, please," Sara held up her hands, stopping him from spilling out any more details. "I don't want to hear about people dying on the day I could be bringing a baby into this world."

"Sorry." He stood at the door, clutching the stuffed butterfly in his hands.

"It's okay... it's not your fault. It's going to happen whatever day it is. I'd just rather keep an open mind right now." She gave him a slight smile, noticing the beanie in his hands. "What's that you got there?"

"Oh... Catherine didn't pack the teddy that we had in the crib." Grissom motioned towards her hospital bag that had been safely delivered to them a few hours ago. "I thought that... we could... or the baby could... I wanted the baby to have something." He extended his arm towards her, letting her take it from him. "I got the wrong one, didn't I?"

"No." Sara grinned widely, examining the soft toy in her hands. "It's perfect. It's a proper Daddy gift. You'll have to cut the tags off, but it's fine." She reached out for his hand, pulling him closer to her side. He had been feeling awkward and out of place since they arrived, but he had no idea how much of a support he was just by being there at her side. "I love it and the baby will love it too. You know I read somewhere that newborns can't see colour. They tend to focus more on objects with high contrasts, so this is perfect." She didn't let her smile fade as her contractions started to strike again, sending ripples of pain through her body. She was still refusing any kind of pain medication, but they were starting to get a little more intense as the hours ticked by.

Clutching her hand tightly, Grissom took a step closer to the side of her bed, admiring her even more. She was so strong and still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Since he left her alone to find the cafeteria, she had been changed into one of the paper hospital gowns that had 'Desert Palms' printed all over its pale fabric. She still had the straps of the fetal heart monitors around her stomach that was fully exposed now. He could see the long branches of fading stretch marks on her sides, showing just how much the baby had grown inside of her.

It was still a little surreal, but he had to admit that he was excited that they were finally going to meet their baby.

"Has it passed?" Grissom checked the monitor beside him, watching the numbers slowly dropping. "Did they check on you again while I was gone?"

"Yeah." Sara took a breather. "Only five centimetres dilated, but the contractions are starting to get closer together. The doctor said to get some sleep while we can. We should be in the pool giving birth in a few hours."

" _Only_ five centimetres? That's halfway, Sara. How far apart are the contractions now?"

"I don't know. Ten... maybe twelve minutes." She looked up at the clock, trying to recall when her last one was. "I thought they were going to send us home, so I kinda lied to the nurse. Do you want to get stuck in all that traffic, just to have to come back again in a few hours?"

"They're not going to send you home, my dear." Grissom assured her, bending to press a kiss to her forehead. "Even if they do, we're not leaving here until we have a baby in our arms. The midwife at the front desk thinks we'll have a baby before Christmas dinner and she's been working here longer than our doctor has been alive, so I trust her judgement."

"Considering the fact that it's..." Sara reached for his arm, consulting his watch for the time. "Christmas morning in less than three hours, that thought is actually pretty terrifying."

"Terrifying, we're back to terrifying again?" He perched himself on the edge of the bed. "An hour ago you said you were excited."

"Oh I am, but I'm terrified that it's finally happening. I'm excited that it's over and I'm finally going to be a mother and have my figure back, but I'm terrified that I can't do it. Can you hear those screams?" Sara remained silent for a moment, listening to the hollowing echoing down the hall. Despite the heat of the room, she felt shivers running down her spine. Goose bumps prickled against the surface of her skin and she could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. "I don't want to go through that. I cry over paper cuts. Why did I think that I could do this? One woman told me that she tore everything down there just from the crowning of her baby's head. I don't want to tear anything down there."

"Sara, your body was made to do this. Childbirth is a completely natural thing. I know it's not going to be painless, but I have faith in you. You're the strongest woman I know." He reached out for her hand, weaving his fingers between hers. "You _can_ do this. If the pain is too much, I want you to tell me. We can ask for a spinal block or something."

"No, no drugs. I don't care how bad it gets, I don't want them." She shook her head, clutching his hand tightly as the familiar build up of a contraction started. She didn't want to scream, but the pain was gradually getting more intense. She didn't understand how she was supposed to sleep with these things ripping through her body every few minutes, but the doctors practically insisted on it. "Ow... I want it out now." She howled.

"You can do this, Sara." Grissom reached out for her other hand, trying to be the supportive partner that she needed. He found that holding her hands and looking into her eyes was enough to calm her down, helping her to control her breathing for the duration of her contraction. The strength and intensity of it seemed to last for ages, but she felt just exhausted enough to attempt to get some sleep.

Some nurses stopped by to check the fetal monitor before she could, checking Sara's blood pressure and check how far down the baby's head was, before they insisted that she listen to her body and go to sleep.

It was a lot easier said than done though.

Less than two hours of sleep later, she woke with the sudden urge to pee. She felt as though she was going to throw up too, but the feeling passed just as quickly as it arrived. She sat on the bed, shifting about for a while, before she tried walking around. The contractions were easier to bear walking around, but the nurses kept insisting that she get back to bed. She glared at Grissom across the room, curled up in one of the chairs, soundly sleeping as though it was any other day. She wanted to ' _accidentally'_ kick him as she waddled past him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

He needed sleep just as much as she did.

Sara slept for maybe twenty minutes, before she was up and walking around again. She paced the cold floor in their room for what felt like hours, but it had barely been ten minutes. She stood over by the window, bouncing from one foot to the other, watching the cars coming in and out of the hospital. She killed maybe five minutes of time, before she had to find something else to do to distract herself from the pain.

Her phone ran out of juice after only two minutes of Tetris and Grissom's was too ancient to even register the fact that she had installed a game on it. "Stupid piece of crap." She cursed, slamming it down on her tray table, but still, Grissom didn't wake up. She couldn't take it anymore. She kicked Grissom's chair on her way past him this time, giving him a devilish grin as he started to stir. "Oh hey, am I disturbing you?"

"Did I fall asleep?" Grissom sat up straight, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He wiped the droll from his chin, noticing the time on his watch. "How long was I out?" He looked around the room a little disorientated, before he remembered where they were.

"Long enough." Sara held her sides, bouncing from one foot to the other. "I don't know how much longer I can do this. It hurts so much and they're still saying that all I can do is sleep. I don't want to sleep. I want this baby out." She threw her head back, giving out a chuckle. "Why did I think that I could do this?"

"You can." He put his arm around her, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on her back. He knew that the control freak in her couldn't deal with a situation that was completely out of her control, but she was still doing remarkably well. "Did they check on you again?"

"They did." She sounded annoyed, returning to her bed. "Barely six centimetres. Maybe we should have gone home."

"I thought you didn't want to go home."

"I want this baby out." Dropping back against her pillow, Sara wriggled uncomfortably, until Grissom appeared at her side. He swept her dishevelled hair back from her face, giving her one of his famous smiles that made her feel a little more at ease. "Sorry... I feel like a caged rat in this room. There's nothing to do but wait for the next lot of pain that I can't control."

"Shall we go for a walk?" He suggested, thinking it would take her mind off it for a while.

"They won't let us out of this room. They expect us to just sit here and wait. It's ridiculous."

Grissom retrieved her bathrobe from her bag, handing it over to her. He wasn't going to take no for answer, so she reluctantly slipped it on, following him out into the hall. The walking certainly helped with her contractions and her anxiety started to settle a little, but she still didn't feel any closer to getting this baby out.

They toured the entire maternity ward, taking the stairs up to the ward where they kept the baby's while their exhausted mothers were resting. She felt her heart racing in her chest as they stood at the window, watching all the baby's inside. She could hear their cries from out in the hall, starting to set off her anxiety again.

It dawned on her that she would have one of those very soon and she'd be expected to know why it was crying and what to do to make it stop.

"Let's go back to the ward." Sara grabbed the man's hand beside her, leading the way towards the stairs. She didn't think she could make it down them if they stayed there a moment longer, so she hurried as fast as her shaky legs could carry her.

Once they were back in their room, Sara managed to sleep for an hour or so longer, waking to find Grissom sat watching over her this time. He didn't even have his phone in his hand, making her suspicious as he was always so eager to know what was going on back at the lab.

"Hi." She brushed the sleep from her eyes. "We're still here?"

"Still here." The man nodded, turning his wrist to look at the time. "It's nearly five."

"Five am?" Sara was hoping it had been longer than that, but the clock on the wall only confirmed it. "How long have we been here now then?"

"Well... we got here just before seven last night," He recalled, watching her giving out a soft sigh. "I'm sure it won't be too much longer."

"Ten hours though." She sighed, placing her hand on her stomach. "Kid, you've gotta get a move on. I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Good Morning, Sara." A nurse poked her head into the room. "Mind if I come in?" She snapped some blue latex gloves over her hands, checking the notes at the end of her bed. She started hooking her back up the fetal monitor, much to Sara's displeasure as the belt that the monitor was attached to was tight and itchy across her stomach. "How are we doing this morning?"

"Exhausted, uncomfortable, tired, hot, annoyed..." Sara removed the bathrobe she had slept in, feeling a sudden heat wave washing over her. "If it's not coming out right now, I'd really like to go home."

"Shall we have a look and see where we're at?" The nurse perched herself on the bed beside her. Sara shifted her legs, looking up at the ceiling above her as yet another complete stranger invaded her privacy. "Oh... I think you're about seven centimetres dilated."

"Seven?" Sara groaned. "This is going to take forever."

"Not necessarily. Your contractions are coming in closer together. You can probably feel them coming in a little stronger and I can feel baby's head right in your cervix. Heartbeat is strong and steady too, so I think we can go ahead and get you in the birthing pool now."

"Finally." Struggling to sit herself upright in bed, Sara practically launched herself onto the floor, impatient to get things moving. She didn't realise how much of a control freak she was before now. She wanted things to happen on her schedule. She didn't want to wait around, but she still had to wait a few extra minutes for them to fill the tub with warm water.

By five thirty am, the whole thing was full, but she still had to lie back on the bed for them to check her over once again. The new nurse gave her the go ahead to climb in the tub, barely able to stop her from climbing in by herself.

"There you are. I'll be back in a few to check on you."

"Thank you." Grissom waved her off, dropping the bag of Sara's things on one of the chairs. This room was a little more spacious than the one they were in all night and he could see glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling. He fiddled with the switch of the lights, dimming them a little, so they weren't under a fluorescent glow, before he joined Sara. "Do you think I have time to call my mother?"

"At the rate this baby is going, I think you'll have time to drive there, pick her up and bring her here." The woman smirked, sweeping her hair back from her shoulders into a ponytail. She reached her hand out for Grissom's, reminding him that he still had her hair tie from last night around his wrist. "Thank you. You can go and call her. Just hurry back, okay? I don't want to be alone."

"I promise. I'll text her. It'll take less time." Grissom bent to press a kiss to her forehead, before he retrieved his phone from his jacket pocket. "The nurse said I could use my phone out in the stair well, so I won't go far."

He stayed put at the door a moment to make sure that she was alright by herself, before he hurried for the exit to the stairs. He turned his phone on once the door closed behind him, noticing three missed calls from the lab and two unanswered texts since he turned it off last night. He avoided responding to them for now, texting his mother a quick message to let her know what was going on. She already knew that they were at the hospital, so he just had to update her on their progress so far, so she wasn't sat home worrying about them for the rest of the day.

"Did you get through?" Sara greeted him with a sunny smile, taking the extra bottle of water off his hands.

"I think she's still sleeping, but I sent her a message." Grissom checked to make sure he turned his phone off, before he replaced it to his jacket pocket. "Catherine sent me a message to wish you luck. She's up already opening Christmas presents with Lindsey and Grandma."

"I don't think, Lily let's Lindsey call her Grandma. She said it makes her feel old."

"Well, Grandma Betty is already calling herself 'Grandma', so I think she's okay with it." He unscrewed the cap to his water bottle, taking a quick sip. "Does the water feel better?"

"Much better... it feels more like a spa day now." Sara smirked, sitting herself back against the edge of the tub with the warm water enveloped around her. Dressed in just a nursing bra, the warm water felt soothing. She felt better already without the constant thumping of the heart monitor beside her and the upright bed that just felt uncomfortable to sit on. She didn't know why they insisted to try it on that uncomfortable thing for a while, when this pool felt better within the first few seconds. "They said you can get in with me, if you want."

"I'm fine here." Getting on his knees beside the tub, Grissom reached out for her hands, smiling as he could already see the light returning to her eyes. He didn't know how to calm her stress for the past few hours, but it was obvious now that a hot bath was all she needed. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be better when this is over."

"We'll be parents when this is over." He clutched her hands a little tighter to support her, glancing up as a new midwife made her way inside. She stayed out of the way, monitoring Sara every few minutes, rather than getting in the way and trying to take over like she feared.

For a while the warm water eased the intensity of her contractions, relieved her pain and distracted her from her anxiety over the whole situation.

Reality was finally starting to set in for them both given the location, but it was nearly two and half hours, before she finally felt the urge to start pushing. The sensation of pressure was indescribable. Sara resorted to putting her arms around Grissom's shoulders, clutching him as tightly as she could, without cutting off his oxygen supply.

Her contractions were definitely getting stronger and closer together. It was almost to the point where she couldn't tell if one was beginning or ending.

One thing was clear to her, she had to push.

It didn't feel as though she was really doing anything at first. It hurt, she knew that much. There was a strong build up of pressure and she felt exhausted, but she had to keep going.

The burning ring of fire that she had read about was so much worse then they described between the pages of any book. She held onto Grissom as though he was a life source, trying not to make a peep, but the pain started to become unbearable.

All she could do to make it go away was push.

One push...

Two pushes...

Three pushes...

"Ow!" Sara screamed out loud, digging her fingernails into her partner's shoulders. She didn't dig them in enough to draw blood, but Grissom could feel every one of her falcon like talons in his shoulders. He wanted to pry them away before they did some serious damage, but she was the one in real pain here.

"There's blood... should there be blood?" Grissom worried, noticing it pooling around his partner in the water.

"It's perfectly natural. It's just a small amount, so it's nothing to worry about." The nurse assured him. "Sara, baby's head is out. I'm going to need you to turn around now."

She could barely hear any of the advice the nurse was giving her, focusing more on trying to stop it from hurting. She eventually turned around, clutching Grissom's hands either side of her. His dress shirt was completely soaked at this point and his knees were starting to ache from all the kneeling on the tiled floor, but when the nurse said not long to go now, all he could focus on was Sara.

With all her might, she pushed again. She could definitely feel the baby's decent now, but it seemed to be taking forever.

Another push.

Sara dropped her head back, completely exhausted, but the nurse insisted she keep going. It felt as though hours had passed by. She pushed... paused to breathe... pushed again... panted... screamed... then pushed some more.

"There's the shoulders... one more push and you'll have a baby, Sara."

"Ow... no, I can't." Sara furiously shook her head, leaning back against Grissom's chest. "It hurts so much."

"Yes you can." Grissom held her hands tighter. "You're doing it already, Sara."

"You really are, Sara. The shoulders have already passed." The nurse assured her, reaching her hands into the water. "One more little push, then I'm going to need you to grab your baby."

Exhausted, hungry, tired and uncomfortable, Sara closed her eyes and bared down. She thought for sure that the nurse was joking with her because this portion of her labour seemed to be going on forever, but after a small push, she felt a sense of relief that she wasn't ready for.

Snapping her eyes open just in time, Sara saw the most beautiful sight of all. Her baby had been born and appeared to be swimming towards her. She didn't even have to be told what to do next. She instinctively reached out for the tiny human being in the water, bringing her baby to the surface. She turned into mush the moment she laid eyes on the newborn, cradling the little person close to her chest.

Her daughter had arrived.

Sara marvelled at the sight of the most adorable human being she had ever seen. Her little fingers were long and wrinkled. Her palm was already flat against Sara's chest, making her heart melt. She couldn't believe that she was real or really here, finally after all that waiting and pushing, but she could see her moving. She was making soft little grunting noises, rather than her first cry that Sara had heard so much about.

She was quiet, content and rather shrivelled. Not quite the chubby little cherub she had been picking all these months. She had patches of dark hair on her head, no visible eyebrows or eyelashes and she could see the shape of the bones in her little head.

Sara wondered if her head was meant to look like that or had she done something wrong?

Glancing back at her partner for some reassurance, Sara couldn't help but smile as she saw the tears of joy in his eyes. She thought that he missed her birth because it happened so fast, but he had seen every moment and his heart was swelling with pride.

They were parents, at last.

Less than five minutes later, the nurse wanted her out of the pool. The cord was promptly clamped and Grissom was handed a pair of surgical scissors. He looked a little apprehensive about finally cutting through it, but he made it through after three attempts, not even grimacing from the blood.

One of the perks of having a partner who dealt with blood on a daily basis. He wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

Sara reluctantly gave up her hold of the tiny human after that, feeling a little anxious as she handed her over to Grissom. "Don't drop her." She warned the man, practically placing his hand beneath her tiny head, before she let him do it on his own. She knew that he would never hurt her, but she looked so fragile in his arms. He couldn't stop smiling or crying the whole time he was holding her, only making Sara miss her even more.

 _I could do that again._ She thought to herself, proud that she actually managed to do it. She still didn't feel like a mother, but then again, she didn't exactly know what one was supposed to feel like. All she knew was that this baby was hers to protect and she wanted to do everything in her power to ensure that she had the best life they had to offer.

"Everything looks good." The nurse reported. Sara didn't even realise that she was being checked over, or the fact that she had finally finished labour. "Placenta has been delivered nicely and there's no tearing. I'll get a doctor to check the both of you over, but you should be good to go. Your baby girl was born at eight fifteen am, so that makes her a little Christmas baby. Congratulations you two."

"Thank you." Sara smiled at the woman as she left their room, feeling an immediate boost of energy. She still felt about ready to pass out and sleep for a month after that ordeal, but looking at the finished product in her partner's arms, she realised that everything she had read was right.

It was all worth it for her.

"Can I have her back now?" She reached her hands out towards Grissom, smiling widely at him as he looked disappointed. She didn't want to interrupt their first moments of Daddy, Daughter bonding, but she really wanted to hold her again. "You can sit here too." She shifted herself over a little. "It might be kind of wet though. I didn't exactly get a towel."

"I don't mind." Grissom took a few cautious steps towards her, reluctant to give up the little person in his arms. He eventually found the strength to hand her over, climbing onto the bed beside Sara, where he could hold them both in his arms. "We have a daughter." He couldn't believe it, even though she was right there in Sara's arms.

"We do." Sara smirked, brushing her fingertip across the tiny form.

"I love you, Sara." He hugged her closer, pressing his lips to her forehead.

"I love you too." She smiled up at him, before they turned their gaze back to their newborn.

They must have stared at her for hours before anyone came back to check on them. Sara got the opportunity to get herself dried and dressed in some warm dry clothes, while Grissom made his way upstairs with the baby and the doctors, watching them checking her out. She finally started to squeal as they poked and prodded her, settling a little as they lay her down on the scales, weighing in at six pounds, four ounces, before she started screaming again.

"Would you like us to diaper and dress her?" A woman asked him, watching him staring at the newborn as though she was a pot of gold.

"I would... like to... if I can." He motioned towards himself, gulping softly as they ushered him closer. She placed a diaper in his inexperienced hands, positioning him in front of the change table that had the freshly bathed newborn on it. He wanted to scoop her up and hold her to settle her tears, but he knew he had to dress her first to make her more comfortable.

Following the nurses instructions, Grissom slid the diaper in place beneath her twig like legs, loosening the tabs on either side. He folded the front up, avoiding touching the clip that had her umbilical cord clamped as he fastened it into place. Next they handed him a t-shirt top. It looked far too big for her, but the nurses insisted that she wear it before she returned to maternity. He slid her left arm through the correct hole first, nervously biting his bottom lip as he tried to put her head through the largest hole. Her right arm was a little harder to put through the last hole as he felt as though he was bending her arm at an awkward angle. He had undressed dead bodies before, but he had never had to dress anyone other than himself before.

"That's it, you've got it." The nurse gave him an approving smile, handing him a cap for her little head.

Grissom hadn't even noticed that his baby girl had thick clumps of almost black hair on her head until now. He delicately brushed his fingertip across the short strands on her fragile little head, wondering if she would have hair like her mother that started to curl as it got longer. He could already see some of her features coming through on her little face. She squirmed as he tried to button the poppers on the side, starting to open her eyes for the first time. He shielded them from the bright fluorescents above, smiling at her as she revealed her baby blues to him for the first time. He knew that she probably couldn't see him this early on, but she appeared to look right at him, stopping her whimpering as if she could tell that he was there to protect her.

Even though he had no experience or no real clue what to do, he gladly accepted the task.

"Merry Christmas, baby girl."

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this story so far.**

 **Next update will be sometime in the New Year. I'm busy with family over the holidays and I'm back to work on the 4th, so not a lot of time to sit and write at the moment. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favouriting and following so far. I hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't too gory for you. Please let me know what you thought.**

 **Thank you.**

 **Enjoy your holidays!**

 **Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year.**

 **~ Holly**


	18. Early Days

**Chapter Eighteen - Early Days**

For the last four hours, Sara's attention had been completely devoted to the tiny being in her arms. She marvelled at the beautiful creation, adoring her every movement, tiny breath or soft gurgle. She was so small and fragile. She felt an overwhelming urge to protect her. She didn't want to leave her unattended for even a moment, but the hospital staff insisted that she take a shower, get checked over, get some food and some rest.

Things she had no interest in doing.

Before they came back in to boss her about again, she reluctantly gave up her baby to her partner's arms, adoring that boyish grin of his as he cradled the tiny infant close in his protective embrace.

"We have to make a decision on her name soon. We can't leave it blank on her birth certificate." She reminded him, gently brushing the tip of her finger across the length of her daughter's tiny arm.

It was still hard to believe that she was really here. Sara was worried that she was going to wake up at any moment and realise that this too good to be true dream she was experiencing, really was a dream and not reality.

"I have an idea of what we should call her." With a look of complete admiration in his eyes, the proud father placed his finger in his daughter's open palm, watching her instinctively curl her little fingers around his own. Of all the things he had read about childbirth, newborns and becoming a father, he never imagined that it would be like this.

Blissful.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense for too long, Gil."

"Sorry." Grissom smiled up at her, looking into her big beautiful brown eyes. "I keep getting distracted."

"Understandable." Sara perched herself on the arm of the chair he was sitting on, still waiting for his input on what they were supposed to call their daughter.

"I thought that given her birthday was Christmas Day, we could call her something Christmas related. I hear that Christmas as a name is quite popular at the moment. Or maybe something like Noelle... Eve, Holly, Angel, Joy, Mistral, Ivy or Charisma." He blurted out all of his ideas in one go.

Sara smiled back at him, adoring the man even more. "Haven't put _much_ thought into it, huh?" She chuckled softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Got anyway of narrowing that list down a little? Because that's a mouthful for someone who's so small."

"Well, that depends... which ones do you like, my dear?"

Shrugging her shoulders together, Sara looked back at her daughter in the man's arms, trying to decide what she looked like. She didn't remind her of a Noelle, although she did like the sound of it. It was cute and rather beautiful. Angel made her sound like a spoilt little brat, which she wasn't going to be. Joy was out. She had a college roommate named Joy and she was anything but.

"Is Mistral really a name?" Sara gave him a curious look.

"It is. I found it in your baby book between Snow and Amethyst. I think it was under seasonal names." He glanced up at the mother of his child, giving her a smile. "I take it that Mistral is out of the question then?"

"It's sounds like something you'd name a cat. If and when we get a cat, you can name it Mistral if you want. But it's not what I want to call my daughter for the next... twenty or so years." Sara pecked a playful kiss to his forehead, gently ruffling her fingers through his tousled hair. "I like Ivy though. It's short and kinda cute. Ivy Grissom." She thought about it a moment, changing her mind as she looked at her daughter. "She doesn't look like an Ivy though. It reminds me too much of Iris. You know they make my nose itch. I don't want her to be associated with something like that."

"Have I ever told you that you're a remarkable woman?" Grissom smiled up at her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what she looks like. We did the hard part. We brought her into the world, you'd think she would at least come with a name."

Grissom chuckled softly, tilting his head back to look at the beautiful woman beside him. "What about the name, Sara? She's just as beautiful as her mother. I want her to be as strong and courageous as you."

"I'm not a big fan of passing a name on to the next generation. Everyone would call her Junior or something. She needs her own name. Her own identity. I want her to have her own life, instead of living in the shadow of her parents." Sara placed her hand over her daughter, feeling her little chest arching up and down with each little breath she took. "Do you think her first name should be as long as her second name?" She got back on topic. "Charisma Grissom is about the same length or would that be harder for her to learn how to spell. Noelle Grissom. Eve Grissom. Christmas Grissom... now that's a mouthful. Too many S's."

Grissom gave her a smirk, letting his head drop back against the chair. "It doesn't have to be something Christmas related if you don't like any of them. It was just an idea I had."

"I'm not ruling them out completely. I still like the sound of Noelle. But I'm not sure."

"What were some of the names on your list then? Does she look like an Ariel or a Skylar... what was your other one?"

"Althea... it means healing power." Sara shook her head, watching her daughter snoozing away in his arms. "As much as I like it, I don't feel as though it suits her. I know she's only tiny and we don't really know what she's like at the moment, but she doesn't feel like an Althea to me. As beautiful as it is, it doesn't have any sentimental value to me. It doesn't sound like the name of my daughter."

"You want a name with a sentimental meaning now?" He gave her a curious look, followed by a smile. "You're a very complicated woman, Sara. Family names are sentimental, but you said you didn't want a name that had been passed down through the generations."

"I suppose a few generations apart are okay." She shrugged her shoulders together, giving him a smile of her own. "I'm sorry, I've never had to do something like this before. I've never had a cat or a dog to name. My father or foster parents never allowed me to have pets. I never even named my stuffed animals as a kid. My favourite was a bear that I called 'Bear'. Why did you decide to name Hank, Hank?"

"Because I didn't fancy calling him Pookey for the rest of his life." Grissom grinned up at her. "That was his name when I picked him up from the animal shelter. He's a boxer, so I decided to name him after Henry Armstrong, the boxer. I was going to name him after Mohamed Ali, but Hank just seemed to suit him better. I never saw Henry Armstrong fight in person, but after I came to Las Vegas, he was all these young fighters could talk about. He was nicknamed Homicide Hank, Hurricane Hank, Hammerin' Hank. He was one of few fighters to win in three or more divisions."

"See, that's a name that means something to you. I want that for our daughter."

"You can." He assured her. "Do you have any family members that you want to name her after?"

"Not from my side. The only woman I know of is my mother, Laura and my memories of her aren't exactly great. I don't want to call my daughter, Laura." Sara brushed her fingers back through the man's hair, smirking as she heard their daughter making soft little grunts.

"How about a variation of your mother's name?" Grissom suggested. "Lauren, Lara..."

"Sounds too similar." She shook her head, changing the subject. "What about you? You don't talk about your family very much. You must have more females in your family then just your mother."

"You know about my mother."

"That's _all_ I know." She chuckled softly, resting against the back of the chair beside him. "C'mon, there must be more to your family then you and your mother. Someone who made an impact on your life?"

"Well, I think my great grandmother's name was Sue from my mother's side. My father's great grandmother mother was Jan. She lived to ninety one." He couldn't help but smile, watching the woman he adored wrinkling her nose up to the sound of those two names. "I don't know then my dear."

"There must have been more. Didn't your parents have sisters or aunts?"

Grissom thought about it for a moment, before he remembered someone he had lost a long time ago. "There was this woman." He spoke softly, looking down at his daughter in his arms. "It was shortly after my father died. My mother was struggling to cope on her own with me. I didn't know who she was at first. She came over with groceries every so often. She made my mother smile again. She taught me how to play poker. She got my mother back into work. She healed us after... after everything. Then when I was twelve, my mother picked me up from school like she always did. She drove me to the hospital rather than home. Her friend was sick. Even on her sick bed, she managed to make my mother smile. She told my mother to keep on fighting. Life's a journey that needs to be travelled." He remembered exactly what she said.

Sara sensed that it was a difficult subject, but she really wanted to know what secrets he held in that brilliant mind of his. "What was her name?" She queried, hoping it wasn't something awful after a story like that.

"Rosalie." He remembered, feeling a tear running down his cheek. "It wasn't until after she died that my mother told me that they had been friends since they were girls. She was always there when my mother needed her and she never once asked for anything in return. I wish I had known her longer."

Sara pressed her lips to his forehead again, gently brushing her hand up and down his arm. "Do you think your mother would mind if we used the name Rosa?" She watched her daughter giving out a wide yawn, trying to open her eyes as if she was responding to the name.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Are you sure that's what you want?"

"It's nice." She brushed her thumb across the back of her daughter's little hand. "I was worried you were about to say Fleur or something." Sara smirked, giving out a soft sigh of relief. "Rosalie Grissom has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? What about a middle name?"

Grissom couldn't help but smile, tilting his head back to look at her. "We only just decided on her first name, now you want to start on a middle name?"

"What?" She beamed her infectious smile in his direction. "Why quit when we're ahead? We've already done the impossible. We had a baby today."

He gave her a slight nod, returning his gaze to their snoozing baby. "You said you didn't want Christmas as her first name, but how about Rosalie Christmas Grissom?"

"Sounds like a huge mouthful for a little kid." She shook her head in disapproval, only making him smile more. "I'm sorry, but it's going to be her name for the rest of her life. It has to suit her."

"I know." He nodded in agreement. "I wasn't arguing, my dear."

"Somebody is." She giggled softly as the peace and quiet of the room was filled with their daughter's cries. She went from perfectly content to explosive in three seconds flat, giving them both a moment of doubt as their role as her parents as they tried to figure out what was wrong with her.

Grissom lay her on the bed to check her diaper, before he swaddled her back in her blanket to make her feel safe, but it still didn't work. Sara sat herself on the bed, cradling her close to try and feed her. She continued to scream for three or four minutes, before she finally turned her head just enough to latch on and feed.

Sara gave her partner a grin once the room was silent again, congratulating themselves on a job well done.

"I have an idea for her middle name." Grissom spoke softly, sitting himself in front of her. "When I was a boy, we would decorate the Christmas tree as a family on the first of December. I always had to wait until Christmas eve to put the final decoration on though. My father would lift me up in his arms, higher than the tree, so I could place the star on the top."

He looked down at his hands a moment, taking a moment to compose himself, before he looked back into Sara's eyes.

"Every year on Christmas eve, I waited to put the star up. I was always more excited to put the star up, then I was to unwrap the gifts the next day. After he died, I didn't even think about Christmas. My mother didn't even want to put up a tree. It was the first time we had Christmas without any decorations in the house and it felt as though I had lost more than my father. On Christmas eve, I climbed into the attic and found the box of Christmas decorations. I dug out the star and I held it all night. It was the closest I had felt to my father since he died. The next morning, my mother took me to his grave. I took the star with me. My mother told me that he might not be with us anymore, but he'd always be watching over us. Every Christmas, birthday, any event big or small, he'd always be with us."

"Do you still have the star?" She queried, feeling the trust building between them as Grissom continued to share his life before Las Vegas with her.

Grissom shook his head, looking at his daughter in her arms. "No, my mother probably still has it somewhere. I haven't seen it since I was ten. It didn't feel the same putting it on the tree without my father there." He brushed his fingertip across the back of his daughter's hand, looking into her baby blues as she opened her eyes. "The star was handmade by my father when he was a boy. He carved his mother's name into the side. She died when he was eight, so no one ever really told me about her, but I always knew her name. He told me that when we put the star up on the Christmas tree, she was watching over us."

"What was it? Her name."

"Ava."

Sara grinned wider than she had all day. "You couldn't have mentioned that one earlier? It's beautiful and perfect." She looked back at the baby in her arms. "Now I have a dilemma. I kinda like Ava more than Rosalie as her first name."

"You don't have to use either of them if you don't want to, my dear."

"I love it. I love both of them. See, I knew we'd get there in the end. We have a name for her that means something to us."

"It means something to me." He pointed out to her. "Are you sure you're okay with it?"

"The names have sentimental value to you, so they have sentimental value to me. Gilbert, ever since I met you, all I've wanted to do is get to know you. This last year, I feel like I've finally broken through the wall that you put up and you've let me in." Sara weaved her fingers through his, giving the man a warm smile. "I realised something today. When you were there with me, holding my hands as we brought our daughter into the world. I realised that I don't care if you keep secrets, Gil. It's not as though they're big ones. I can live with a little bit of mystery from the man of mystery." She squeezed his hand a little tighter. "I just want you there. In my life. You _are_ the one good thing in my life and I don't want to lose that. I trust you with my life. I'm sorry that I pushed you away."

"I'm sorry too, my dear. It's my fault that you felt that way in the first place. But hopefully I'm not the only good thing anymore." The man motioned towards the baby between them. "You have a family now, Sara. You're not on your own anymore. I know that I've never exactly been reliable in the past, but I promise that I will always be there for you now. Both of you. You've given me the chance to be something that I never thought I could. A father and the chance to have my own family."

For a man of very few words, he certainly had a lot to say since their daughter had been born, making Sara feel as though she was on cloud nine. She never thought she could or would have a family of her own one day either.

Looking at her daughter in her arms and the man of her dreams in front of her, she realised what she had been missing out on all this time.

"Oh... I think someone needs a diaper change." Sara tried her best to hold onto the surprisingly strong infant as she started to squirm in her arms.

"I got her." Grissom reached for his daughter from her arms, cradling her against his chest. He pressed his lips to her forehead as he carried her over to the cot. He expertly changed her diaper as if he had been doing it for years, finally glancing up to see his mother stood in the doorway. He left his baby girl in the cot, letting his mother approach to see her grandchild for the first time.

Betty Grissom had tears in her eyes the moment she laid her eyes on the tiny being. She handed her bag over to her son as soon as she got close enough, marvelling at the sight of the tiny baby inside. She stared at her for a few minutes, before she decided to scoop up the crying infant to hold her.

Staying seated on the bed, Sara smiled as she watched the three of them interacting. She didn't understand what Grissom and his mother were signing to each other, but she guessed that they were talking about the baby. She watched Betty Grissom expertly rocking the baby in her arms, settling her down within moments, wishing she could give her some pointers.

Leaving them alone for a moment, Sara finally grabbed herself a quick shower, feeling strange now that her pregnant belly lacked the weight of a baby inside it. She almost missed the feeling, even though she couldn't wait to get her figure back. She wasn't too keen on going back to work though.

When she returned to the room, Grissom was nowhere to be seen, but Betty was sat on one of the chairs, cooing over the baby in her arms. She smiled up at Sara, adjusting the baby in her arms so she had the use of one of her hands. She knew that Sara was still learning sign language, so she slowed down her normal pace for her.

'How are you?'

"Tired. Sore. Exhausted." Sara perched herself on the edge of the bed, giving the woman a slight smile. "I can't wait to get home and get some sleep." She propped a pillow up behind her, sitting herself back as Betty handed her baby girl back to her.

'She has lots of hair.' The woman gently brushed her fingers across the tiny baby's forehead. 'A full head of hair. Gil was bald when he was born. She looks like her mother.'

"She has Gil's eyes though." Sara looked down into her daughter's eyes, smiling widely at her as she tried to look around the room. She instinctively shielded her eyes from the bright lights above them, getting a smile of approval from her grandmother. She glanced up as the door opened, revealing the father of her child with her breakfast in his hands. "I wondered where you got to."

"They said you have to eat something before we can leave. So I thought I would get you something that isn't hospital food and slightly more edible."

Sara pursed her lips together in anticipation, smiling as he opened the takeaway box from I-Hop, revealing the delicious treat of pancakes and waffles inside. "Mm... your father certainly knows how to spoil us." She grinned at the father of her child. "Thank you."

Grissom beamed a smile back at her, adoring the woman even more. He didn't think it was possible to love her anymore than he already did, but since she had given him the chance to be a father, he felt more connected to her than he did to anyone or anything else in his life. They had a permanent bond that would last for the rest of their lives.

"Did you ask your mother if we could use the names?" Sara wasn't sure how to tell her. Did she spell it out, write it down or just hope that Betty could read her lips when she told her?

"I told her." Grissom nodded, sitting himself beside her. "She doesn't mind if we use either name. Did you decide which one you wanted yet? Ava or Rosalie."

Sara looked at her daughter in her arms again, feeling pressure in her chest. She liked both of them, but she couldn't decide which one she preferred. She watched her partner signing something to his mother, trying to understand what they were saying to each other.

"What did she say?" Sara gave him a confused look.

"She said that we could shorten Rosalie to Rosa, but then both names would end with a." He glanced back at his mother, giving her a smile. "Or we could change it to Rose."

Sara looked between the two of them again, feeling a little out of the loop. She recognised a few signs here and there, but not enough to understand what was being said. "I like Rose, but she doesn't feel like a Rose."

"How about Ava Rose?"

"Double barrel it?" She gave him a curious look. She had to admit that she didn't hate the sound of it, but she had never been too keen on double barrelled girls names.

"Or first and middle name. Either way works, don't you think? Do you like it?"

Looking at the baby in her arms, Sara smiled big, feeling as though they finally had a name that suited her and she actually liked the sound of. She was tempted to say no just to see what else they could come up with, but she didn't want to waste anymore energy on it.

"I love it. Ava Rose Grissom."

Betty beamed a smile back at Sara, placing her hand over her heart, before she told her how much she loved the name. She thanked Sara for being so thoughtful, starting to well up with tears again. While her son fetched her a tissue, Sara gave out a soft sigh of relief that her daughter's name was approved by the newest critic in her life.

* * *

"You have to hold still. I can't put your arm through the hole if you keep moving."

Erupting in a soft laughter, Sara shook her head, watching the man in front of her attempting to dress their newborn daughter. She squirmed and cried as he tried to put her arm through the hole, making the task even harder.

"Here, let me give you a hand." Sara joined him round the cot, giving him a smile. She was still exhausted, but she couldn't wait to get home. They had finally been given the all clear to leave, so the last thing left to do was dress their daughter in her going home outfit.

The outfit in question was a little too big for her, but it was the outfit that Grissom's own mother brought him home from the hospital in. It was hand knit by his great grandmother long before he was born. A simple white cardigan and booties, along with a cap that eventually had his name sown into it. He didn't even know his mother still had it, until Sara asked him to dress their daughter in it.

"Unbelievable. You can pick up the tiniest piece of evidence without breaking it, but you're afraid to dress your own daughter."

"My daughter is more fragile than a piece of evidence. She's brand new." He carefully slid his hands beneath her, supporting her head as he lifted her high enough to press a kiss to her forehead. "Where's Nick with that car seat?" He lowered her to his arm, checking the time on his watch. "I called him an hour ago."

"He's probably trying to find somewhere to park. Or trying to navigate his way through this place. You got lost going to the bathroom." Sara made her way over to the window, looking at the busy traffic outside. She thought that everyone visiting the hospital would have gone home now that it was the afternoon of Christmas Day, but it only seemed to be getting busier. "Lucky you took your mother home when you did. It'll probably take us hours to get home through this traffic." She turned to look at her partner, smiling as all of his attention was completely devoted to their little girl. "She's going to have you wrapped around her little finger."

"I think she already does." Grissom lifted his hand slightly, showing her that their daughter's little fingers were securely wrapped around his. Her little eyes were locked on his, even though he knew that she probably couldn't even see him from this distance. She could probably make out the shape of him, but she wouldn't be able to see colours or recognise their faces for months yet.

Sara turned towards her bag on the bed, making sure she had packed everything back into it. She found the extra outfits that Catherine had packed for the baby, unwrapping the set of hand mittens that she never even opened. "Do you think we should put some gloves on her hands?"

"It's not exactly cold out, Sara." He pointed out to her, taking a seat with his daughter. "She'll be in the car as soon as Nick gets here with the car seat." Putting his hand beneath his daughter's head, he lifted her high enough to press a kiss to her forehead, pressing playful kisses to her little fingers as she reached out for him.

Sara couldn't help but smile, feeling a little envious of the older man. "Anyone would think you've been doing that for years the way you are with her. Are you sure you've never had children before?"

Grissom smiled in her direction, shaking his head at her. "Never. I was worried that I wouldn't know what to do when she arrived. Holding her now... I just feel as though she's the most important person in the world." He beamed a smile down at his baby girl, feeling his heart throbbing as she gave out the most adorable yawn he had ever seen. "Nothing... nothing even remotely compares to this feeling."

Making her way over to him, Sara gently placed her hand on his shoulder, giving him a wide smile. She leant forwards to press a kiss to his forehead, playfully ruffling her fingers through his hair. "I really love you, Gil. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I love you too, Sara." Grissom lifted his squirmy little girl against his chest as she started to fuss, pressing his lips to her delicate little head. "Ah... Nick, better late than never." He noticed the young man awkwardly stood in the doorway. "Did you pick up the car seat?"

"Yeah, it's in my truck. Hey, Sara." He made a move to hug her, noticing how much slimmer she looked already. "How do you feel?"

"Tired, but okay." She smiled at him, directing him over to her daughter. "I'd like you to meet our daughter, Ava Rose Grissom." Sara scooped her daughter out of her partner's arms, turning to face her colleague and long time trusted friend. "Ava, this is your uncle Nicky and he's not going to drop you." She hesitantly handed her over to the man.

"Relax, I've held plenty of my nieces and nephews when they were this small." The Texan assured the anxious parents, expertly holding the tiny infant in his arms. "Wow, she really is small. Isn't this outfit a little big for her? Grandma Betty already been by to see her?" He guessed that the hand knit piece of clothing was some kind of family heirloom.

"Yeah, she couldn't stop crying. Betty that was. This was Gil's going home outfit when his mother took him home from the hospital."

Sara adjusted the cap on her daughter's head, pointing out 'Gilbert' stitched into the front of it. She thought a CSI like him would have been able to figure that out.

"His great grandmother made it after his parents got married. I guess that's why it's yellow. She didn't know if they would have a girl or a boy first. On the morning of Gil's birth, she came to the hospital with them and gave it the finishing touch." She remembered the story Betty had told her. "It's cute isn't it? I never had any kind of family heirloom to hold onto after my father died. It's kinda neat having a little piece of the past to carry onto the next generation."

"You've given her plenty, Sara. She's here because of you." Nick assured her, just in case she had any doubt in her mind. He carefully handed her baby girl back to her, giving her a proud smile. "She's beautiful, Sara. Congratulations, Gris." He shook the man's hand, surprised that the man was still here after witnessing the birth. He didn't think that he would up and leave Sara, but he didn't think a man like Grissom would make it through something as emotional as childbirth either.

"Are we ready to go then?" Grissom pushed himself to his feet, checking Sara's bag for her.

"I think so." Sara turned to look around the room, feeling a little overwhelmed.

It felt as though she had only just arrived at the hospital a few minutes ago as Sara Sidle. A woman terrified of commitment, worried she wouldn't be able to take care of a baby or love the child that she was about to give birth to.

Now she was leaving the hospital with a baby in her arms that she loved more than anything in the world and a man completely devoted to her. She didn't even feel like the same woman anymore. Her priorities were different. It felt as though her world had completely shifted, but for once, the control freak in her was completely calm.

"Are you alright holding her?" Grissom zipped up her bag, joining her in the middle of the room.

"Yeah... I'm fine." She eventually tore her gaze away from her daughter, giving the man a smile.

"There was a wheelchair out in the hall." Nick offered to take the bag from his supervisor's hand, leaving him to fetch the wheelchair outside that the nurses had left for them. He wheeled it into the room, assisting Sara to sit down, making sure she was comfortable with the baby in her arms, before he started pushing.

Sara waved goodbye to the nurses and midwives, thanking them for all their help. She really didn't want to leave them after all the help and support they had given her so far, but she knew that they had to take the next step in their journey by themselves.

When they made it outside, Sara felt the breath catch in her throat. She kept her eyes on her baby girl, hoping that she wasn't about to fade away as they got back to reality. She adjusted the hat on her daughter's head to keep her warm, holding her close as they made it over to Grissom's car. She stayed sat in the wheelchair while the boys tried to figure out how to click the car seat into the back, requesting that she sit beside her daughter in the back, rather than the front where she couldn't see her.

"Carefully, Gil." She gritted her teeth together, watching him lowering the sleeping infant into the car seat. He moved at a slower pace under her watchful eye, making a few adjustments to the seat to properly fit her smaller form. "Thank you, Nicky. Are you on shift today?" She took the younger man's hand, helping herself to her feet.

"Yeah, later. I was goin' to catch a last minute flight back to Texas to make it home in time for Christmas, but the lab's pretty busy and the people with kids need the time off more than I do."

"Aw, it'll be you one day, Nicky. Look at me. I never thought that this would be possible." Sara gave him a smile as she climbed into the back of the car. She adjusted the straps holding her daughter into her seat, feeling completely in love with this tiny human being. She warned her partner to drive as slowly as he could on the journey home, fearful that any bump or jolt could hurt her fragile form.

Grissom thanked Nick again for making it all this way to help them out, before he got back in the car. I crawled out of the hospital at a snail's pace, going as slowly as he possibly could in the direction of home.

When they finally arrived home late that afternoon, Sara felt as though they had been gone only a moment, but their lives had changed completely. She held her daughter up in her arms as Hank came running over to them, letting Grissom take him out for a quick walk to calm him down, while she got settled. It seemed as if she had known and loved this baby in her arms for years, but she still had no idea what she was doing. She was sleeping after the car ride, so she thought she'd lay her down in her crib for the first time.

It looked so big and she looked so small inside it.

Sara stood back watching her sleep for a moment, before she decided to get on with some quick chores. They left the house for the baby shower in a rush, so the place was in a bit of a mess. As soon as she attempted to tackle the washing up in the sink, Ava started crying, squirming and fussing as Sara tried to feed her. She lay her down on the change mat to see if she was wet, but other than the fact that she was screaming, Sara couldn't find anything wrong with her.

"And I thought we were getting on so well." Sara dropped to the edge of her bed, placing her finger in her daughter's open palm. She smiled widely as her little fingers instinctively curled around hers, holding onto her as tightly as she could. She wasn't crying anymore, so Sara figured that it was a good sign.

While she was settled, Sara put some washing on, changing herself into some more comfortable clothes, before she sat to watch her daughter sleeping again. She didn't even notice the boys returning from their walk or the grumble of her own stomach as her baby girl continued to snooze.

"Is she sleeping?" Grissom whispered, taking his jacket off in the doorway. "Hank's been sniffing around. I think he can smell her already. Do you mind if he comes in?"

"No. He can come in." Sara watched him opening the door a little wider, spotting Hank nervously sniffing from the hallway. He remained a little hunched up as he stepped inside, but brightened up to his usual cheery self as Sara reached out for him. "She's a little bit small to play with you at the moment." She held him back as he tried to get closer to her crib. "Do you like her? She's smells good, huh?"

"She probably smells weird to him. He's never been around diapers or baby's before." The man kicked off his shoes, leaning over the side of the crib to watch her sleeping. "You should be sleeping, Sara. You're supposed to sleep when she sleeps."

"I will in a minute. I'm still trying to get my bearings." Sara ruffled her fingers through Hank's fur, giving the man a smile. "Did you decide what you're going to do about work?"

"I asked Catherine to look into it for me. She had a go at me for not finding out sooner, but I'm sure with her on the case, we'll find out in no time. I've got some vacation days saved up and Ecklie refuses to give me the time... I'll just have to find something else to do. I've always wanted to teach." He reminded her, taking a seat on the bed beside her. "Sleep, my dear. You're exhausted. I can listen out for her. I just want to take a quick shower."

Sara reluctantly lay herself back against the pillows, feeling too wired to relax. "Wake me if she cries, okay? Don't just go to sleep after your shower. Wake me up if you want to sleep."

Grissom couldn't help but smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "She'll be fine. Sleep." He waited for her to close her eyes, before he made his way through the bathroom, grabbing a quick shower after a long night at the hospital. He checked on Ava before he got himself dressed, finishing off the chores in the next room. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. Normally he would have a mountain of things that he wanted to get done, but at the moment he would rather sit and watch his daughter breathing.

It seemed weird to him that he would devote himself completely to something that just arrived, but she fascinated him completely.

Ava gave her mother just two hours of sleep, before she was hungry again. She nursed for nearly half an hour, giving Grissom the chance to make Sara some food. Their squalling little miracle refused to go back to the sleep after that, making Hank feel uncomfortable. He ducked and covered under the dining table away from the cries, not coming out until she had tired herself out.

When Grissom finally decided to turn in for bed, Ava woke the household with her cries, needing a feed and a messy diaper change. He changed her into a clean outfit, plopping her back into her mother's arms, while he tried to rest his head. She woke at nine, ten, eleven, midnight... two o' clock in the morning, Grissom sleepily trudged out to the coffee machine, calling it quits. He managed to get some reading done in between diaper changes, feeds and hugs, relieved when she finally zonked out against his arm on the sofa, but he was powerless to move.

"Gil." Sara whispered his name, smiling at him as he cracked one eye open to look at her. "Do you want me to take her?"

"She's fine. I don't want to move her. She might wake up again." He double checked that she was still out, admiring the adorable snoozing baby on his arm. He patted the sofa beside him, ushering Sara over to them. "You can join us here though. Family naps are supposed to sooth her. She can feel our warmth and our scent comforts her."

"How long as she been out now?"

"Oh... nearly an hour and a half." He glanced up at the clock, giving her a smile as she joined him. "I think we've got this parenting thing cracked. We already made it through our first day."

"Day?" Sara had to double check herself. "Wow. One day old already. I guess we really can do it."

"Told yah." He grinned back at her. "Happy first day of motherhood, Sara. Many more to come."

* * *

 **Happy New Year!**

 **Sorry about the wait on this chapter, just been super busy. You can blame 'Game of Thrones' for taking up any free time that I did have. Can't believe I never heard of that show until now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and it makes up for the lack of updates in a while. I did struggle picking her name though. A friend of mine just had a baby and called her Noelle, so I wasn't allowed to use that and another one just had an Ivy. She's the cutest little thing. Full head of hair, bright blue eyes and she zonks out in peoples arms. You can thank her for baby inspiration.**

 **Please let me know what you thought, hopefully the next one won't be too long.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	19. Verdict

**Chapter Nineteen - Verdict**

For the first seven days of motherhood, Sara felt as though she was being pulled in every direction. She had been sleep deprived in the past, but she had never felt it to this extent. Her head felt heavy. Her arms ached every moment of every day, but she still managed to hold up her baby, lift her from one place to another, rock her to sleep and lay her down inside her crib for the few minutes she actually slept. She still felt euphoric, overwhelmed and slightly terrified, but she was too tired to act on any kind of emotion.

She barely even registered her own hunger anymore.

New Years Eve, Grissom's mother came over to give them a hand with their little bundle of joy that refused to sleep. She gave them a few pointers to get her to sleep on her own, annoying Sara a little as the woman figured out that they had a gassy baby. She was relieved that she knew how to fix this little problem though, gladly letting her take her turn as grandmother, while they fixed dinner. They celebrated their first New Year together as a family, planning on doing the same for many years to come.

Motherhood really wasn't so bad after all.

Ten days later, Sara managed an hour long walk with Hank and Grissom, without incident. She felt a burst of energy the moment they started walking, wondering why they hadn't done something like this sooner. Using the stroller for the first time was a little scary, Ava slid around all over the place, until Grissom managed to fix it with a second strap. She dozed right off to sleep, sleeping a lot longer than she normally did, making Sara feel a little more at ease.

Until day twelve, when baby Ava wouldn't sleep or feed. She cried, squirmed and fussed throughout the day, until her father arrived home and lifted her into his arms. She fell right to sleep, giving Sara back her doubts that she could do this. She felt like cursing the baby for putting her through hell like that, but then she turned into an adorable bundle of joy once again before the day was up, giving her what looked like her first smile.

On day fifteen, Sara finally got around to opening her congratulations cards, while Ava slept in the basinet nearby. She cried reading the messages from her friends and work colleagues, congratulating her on bringing a baby into this world. She noticed that only a few of them were addressed to Grissom and Sara, while the others were only addressed to her. She worried that it meant they didn't approve of their relationship, but that was just her sleep deprived paranoia sinking in again.

Grissom had a few days off with her during the week, working light duties and shorter hours at the lab, until he was finally granted paternity leave. She gladly handed her daughter off to him to catch up on a few more hours of sleep, before she was up to feed her again.

"Gil, come quick!" Day twenty brought the surprise of Ava's first mini push up, but her father was too slow to see it. He stuck around a while longer, but she started to get fussy, refusing to do it again. "Oh, never mind."

Finally, one month old.

Before the cabin fever started to sink in, Sara ventured out into public for the first time with baby strapped to her chest. She squirmed around at first, but once they made it to the store to pick up some groceries with Daddy pushing the shopping cart, she dozed right off to sleep. Sara saw other mother's with their baby's while they were in there, catching them smiling at her, trying to take a peek at her own baby. She never bothered looking at other baby's before, but now she found herself looking at all of them, wondering how far along they were or trying to find similarities between them and Ava. She saw many newborns, realising just how much her daughter had grown already in the first month.

When they got to the checkout, there was a two year old clinging to his mother's leg, while he screamed out at the top of his lungs. Sara cringed from the sound of it, wishing to be anywhere but here right now. She couldn't deal with screaming. She couldn't even deal with her own baby's screaming, but she had been as good as gold for their whole shopping trip. She feared what she might become in the future, trying desperately to tolerate the two year olds screaming in case that was her child one day.

"Ugh... I thought that thing would never stop." A man on the next checkout over muttered.

Sara thought she should be smiling in agreement with him, but instead she felt offended. It wasn't even her child he was talking about, but she felt an overwhelming urge to defend mothers everywhere.

"Are you alright carrying her home?" Grissom startled her out of her thoughts, collecting up the shopping bags in his hands.

"I carried her around for nine months, Gil." She cracked a grin in his direction, forgetting all about the rude man behind them. "I think I can manage the ten minute walk home. Are you alright with those bags?"

Grissom smiled back at her, letting her go through the door first. He watched her instinctively shielding the sun from her daughter's eyes as they stepped outside, making him smile. He never pictured their lives turning out like this when Sara first told him that she was pregnant. He didn't really picture anything. He was too shocked to think about the future, but he never would have imagined this.

"Do you want to stop at the park?"

"She's too small to go on anything." Sara smirked, softly patting her baby's back. "Don't worry, Gil. I'm told they grow up fast, so you'll get your chance to take her to the park soon enough."

"Not too fast I hope." He leant closer to check on his sleeping bundle. "For now, this is as big as she's allowed to get."

Sara smiled in agreement, pressing a kiss to her baby's forehead. She really was the perfect size, but she knew that it was inevitable. She was bound to grow more and more as the weeks went by.

Although the prospect of her growing up and hating her terrified Sara more than anything in the world, she couldn't wait to see what she would look like or even what kind of person she was going to be. She hated to admit it, especially to the father of her child, but she had even started to wonder if there would be hopes of a baby brother or sister somewhere down the line.

Hopefully very far down the line, but she wasn't ruling it out completely.

* * *

Balancing her three month old baby in her arms, Sara gulped back her nerves, feeling as though her two worlds were finally about to collide. At home with her family, she felt isolated from the world she used to know. There were no dead bodies, no horrible murders, crimes or sadistic people that just wanted to tear each other apart. All she knew at home was taking care of her beautiful baby girl and enjoying the company of the man she would choose a thousand times over to spend the rest of her life with.

Now she was stepping off the elevator into the crime lab with her baby in her arms, terrified that her old life would come crashing down around them. "Here we go." Sara pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter's head. "We can do this."

With one arm around her daughter's chest and the other hooked beneath her little legs, Sara proceeded forwards, stepping into the old lab. It had only been a few months since she was last there, but it already felt like a lifetime ago. The lab was still busy as ever. The staff all looked the same, but they were looking at her in a different way. She didn't know if it was just because she was holding a baby in her arms or maybe because she had matured and grown so much already in the past three months away, taking care of another human being, but she felt different too.

It almost felt as though this wasn't her world anymore.

"Miss Sidle... hello," Judy the receptionist gave her a slight smile, setting down the phone from her hand. "Wow... she's adorable." She smiled at the gorgeous little girl in her arms. "Are you looking for Mr Grissom? I saw him walking towards his office a few minutes ago."

"Thank you, I was going to introduce her to the team first." Sara gave the woman a smile, turning for the lab behind her. She figured they would all be on their lunch break in the staff break room by now, but it looked a little empty from here.

"Sara, hey. I didn't know you were coming in today." Mandy stopped in front of her, mouth wide open at the sight of the tiny human in her arms. "Is this the little Grissom? Aw, look at you. Aren't you just the cutest thing? I wish I could fit into something that adorable." She giggled softly, admiring the adorable little outfit that had hearts stamped all over it. She even had a matching headband with a cute little bow attached. "Aw, she's so cute. What was her name again?"

"Ava Rose." Sara smiled at her, hugging her daughter tightly as the three month old garbled softly, looking at the woman in front of her. "She's not so little anymore though. She's long. The Doctor said she's in the ninety seventh percentile for her height. She's growing like a weed."

"You're gonna be tall just like her Mommy." Mandy gave the baby a playful wave, giggling softly as Ava started to blow bubbles back at her. "Wow, she is long... my sister's baby is a little blob and he's seven months already. I love her hair. Look at those cute little wisps you have. I was going to say she looks like you, but she has Grissom's features doesn't she, especially that brow."

Sara never noticed it before, but her daughter really did have her father's brow. With one look, Grissom's expressive brow told her exactly what he was thinking. She couldn't read Ava's at the moment, but she was curiously looking at the woman in front of them, rather than bawling her eyes out like she did at the store when strangers approached them.

"Oh you are just the cutest little thing. I could just eat you up." Mandy giggled softly, finally taking a step away from them. "I better get these results to Ecklie. Are you on your way to see Grissom?"

"We were going to meet the team first. Some of them haven't seen her since she was a week old."

"Aw, well hopefully I'll see you later you gorgeous little thing. Bye."

"Bye." Sara waved her off, pecking a kiss to her daughter's little forehead. She congratulated her on a job well done, before she made a move to the break room, where some of the team were refuelling on coffee and tasty treats. She let the door close behind her, waiting for the team to look up in their own time.

Greg had his nose in a magazine, flipping through the pages of a trashy gossip magazine, until he found a picture of a hot pop star to gawk over. Nick and Warrick were sat at the table, stuffing their mouths with fries and stale cheeseburgers, while Catherine was staring off into space, absently stirring more sweetener into her coffee.

"Sara." Nick noticed her first, gulping down the last greasy French fry. He alerted everyone else to her presence, stopping them from what they were doing, one by one. "Hey, what are you doin' here?" He climbed to his feet, giving her the gentlest hug he could, so he wouldn't crush the baby in her arms.

"Well, Gil said that you weren't overly busy today, so I thought it would be the perfect time to visit. See how the old team is getting on." Sara noticed that Warrick and Greg were keeping their distance like shy puppies, while Nick and Catherine were right in front of her, all their attention focused on the tiny human in her arms. "So, how's the lab? I heard you're all working the same shift this week."

"Ecklie's mixing things up again. He's got us pulling doubles to fill in for his team on this training thing." Catherine smiled widely at the adorable baby girl, letting her hold her finger in her little hand. "You're getting so big already. I only just saw you last week."

"I haven't seen her since she was born." Nick held her other hand, adoring her little smile as she examined the new adults in front of her. "How have you been, Sara? Grissom said she wasn't sleepin' so well."

Sara looked at him surprised a moment, more surprised that Grissom had actually discussed his private life with a colleague than the fact Nick was concerned about her. "She's been sleeping a little better at night the past few days. We think she was just super hungry and really gassy the first few weeks. Either that or she wasn't used to being out on her own. She'd cry as soon as she was out of our arms."

"She's so adorable." Catherine cooed over the infant. "C'mon Warrick, this is your chance to meet her." She ushered him out of his seat. "He's been asking questions all week."

"I just wanted to know if she was doing alright. We haven't heard from you in a while, Sara. I was worried." Warrick defended himself, getting up out of his seat. He squeezed in between his colleagues, wondering why everyone went so crazy over baby's. He had to admit that she was kind of adorable, but he didn't want one turning his whole life upside down for the next eighteen years of his life.

"I know. I'm sorry I've been a little MIA at the moment. I've been busy. I never realised how much time such a small human can take up. Just when I think I've got five minutes to myself, she wakes up again. It really doesn't feel like it's been that long. Maybe it's all the lack of sleep." Sara raised her baby a little higher, pressing a kiss to the top of her head again. She noticed Greg still sat in the corner of the room, trying to busy himself with the gossip between the pages of his magazine, rather than paying any attention to her or her baby. She didn't expect them all to fall at her feet with admiration, but she didn't expect her friends to treat her so differently either.

"Damn," Catherine answered a text on her phone. "I've gotta run. We'll see you this weekend though, right? Lindsey's really excited. Bye, Ava. She looks more and more like Grissom every time I see her."

"Really? I think she has her Mommy's looks." Warrick disagreed with her, even though there was a certain resemblance to the big man, especially around the eyes. "I better go too. I'm waiting on results from Bobby Dawson. He must have processed my evidence by now. Good to see you again, Sara." He gave her a quick hug, breezing past her behind Catherine.

"Let me guess, you've gotta shoot off too?" Sara caught Nick looking at his phone, followed by a guilty smile. "It's fine. I remember what it was like. It feels like a different life now, but it was only a few months back. We'll have to catch up later though, right?"

"Sure." Nick grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. "She crawlin' yet?" He asked, adjusting the collar around his neck.

"No, not yet. She can't sit up by herself yet. She can almost roll over. Grissom was trying to get her to roll from her tummy to her back the other day. She did it once, but she started to get fussy before he could get his mother on Skype." Sara stepped aside, letting him get by her. "See you later. Good luck." She watched another friend disappearing out the door, turning her attention towards Greg. "So what's the latest gossip?"

"Huh?" Greg gave her a confused look.

"You seem pretty invested in that magazine there. What's the latest scandal?"

"I wasn't really reading it." He closed it up, ditching it onto the coffee table in front of him. He climbed to his feet, looking more than a little awkward about the situation he found himself in. "You know, I uh... I have some... files to sort."

"Greg." Sara stepped in front of him, blocking his exit. "Are we... are we okay?"

"Yes." He barely managed to look her in the eye.

"It feels like you're avoiding me." She adjusted the baby in her arms, breathing in a deep breath. "I know that baby's really aren't your thing. Before I had her, they weren't really my thing either, but I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world now that she's here. You're a part of my life too, so you two kinda need to get on. Do you want to hold her?"

"Me?" He seemed shocked by the suggestion. "What if I drop her?"

"You won't." She shook her head, holding the baby out in front of her. "She's not that heavy. She doesn't squirm a whole lot either. If Grissom's mother can hold her, I'm sure you can." Sara held her daughter out in front of her for a minute or two, before Greg finally attempted to reach for her. He put both his hands beneath her little arms, holding her as if she was made of glass. "See, you can do it."

"Can I give her back now?"

Sara giggled softly, shaking her head at him. "You gotta give your little niece a better hug than that. Hold her a little closer. She's quite good at holding her head up, but make sure you keep your hand there. She's not going to bite you. She doesn't even have any teeth yet."

Greg held her against his shoulder, giving Sara a nervous smile. "I guess she kinda looks like you. Don't you find that all baby's tend to look alike though? Small and chubby."

"She's not that chubby. You should see some of the porkers at the doctor's office. She's actually underweight. We've gotta start fattening her up with formula." Sara smiled as her daughter started to examine Greg's face with her little hands now that she was closer. She had a tendency to grab hair, noses and lips, even glasses if someone happened to be wearing them while holding her, but for now, she was just studying his features. "She likes you."

"She's probably thinking 'Mom, why did you hand me off to this complete stranger'?" He smirked, leaning his head back as Ava tried to grab his bottom lip. "Ow, her nails are sharp."

"Yeah, it's a lot harder than it looks to cut a baby's nails. We got baby nail clippers, but we always worry about cutting her fingers with them. Grissom's mother, Betty told us to bite them off ourselves, but that seems even more painful for her. Not to mention kinda gross." Sara lowered her daughter's hand as she tried to grab Greg's lip again.

"I guess she's kinda cute." Greg shrugged, lifting his gaze to meet Sara's. "I guess she's a good enough reason to give up your career."

"I'm not giving up my career, Greg. Is that what you think? Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I don't see myself as a full time stay at home mother. I might try it for a while, at least while she's still small, but I'm coming back." Sara assured him, realising why he was giving her the cold shoulder earlier. "I'm not giving up my career. I'm just postponing it for a while."

Greg gave her a slight smile, flinching as Ava caught the tip of his nose in her talons. "Ow... that hurts."

"I know, she has a strong grip, right? I didn't think someone so small could be so strong." She pried her daughter's hand away again, scooping her out of Greg's arms, before she tried to do it again.

Ava's bottom lip immediately started to quiver as she was taken away from her new toy. She tried to reach out for him again, bursting into tears as her mother held her out of reach.

"No, no, Uncle Greg doesn't want you to pinch his nose. It hurts. Your nails are really sharp." She reasoned with her fussy daughter. "Is it weird that I call you her Uncle? Catherine calls herself Aunt Catherine. I know it's a weird thing parents do."

"No... I guess it's okay." He paused for a moment of thought. "As long as I'm from your side of the family. Grissom scares me too much to be a relation."

"You really have nothing to be afraid of. He's proud of you, Greg. He's never regretted taking a chance with you." Sara turned just as the door opened, spotting the man in question. "Hi, we thought we'd stop by and see the team."

"I thought I heard her crying. I thought I was just hearing things." Grissom lowered the report in his hands, smiling at his beautiful baby girl. "What's the matter?" He placed his hand on her as she continued to cry.

Greg watched the two of them with their daughter, realising that they were the real thing. He slipped away while they were preoccupied, leaving the new parents to settle their baby.

"I'm glad you're here. I wanted to run something by you." Trading the file in his hands for his little girl, Grissom held her securely against his shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to little her forehead. "I got a phone call this morning. Apparently they've been trying to get in contact with me since Christmas, but we've been so busy, we've both been missing each other. I've been asked to fill in for an old friend that works at the California State University." He got to the point. "She said as soon as possible."

"California?" Sara furrowed her brow. "That's a long commute." She feared the next words out of his mouth.

"Well, we would have to move there." He kept his eyes on his baby girl, smiling at her as she studied his face with her little hands. "She's retiring, so the job offer is full time if I want it. The course I'm teaching will run for two years. After that we can make a decision if we want to stay or move to another city."

"Leave Las Vegas?" Sara finally understood what he was getting at, wishing he hadn't sprung this on here at the lab they worked at of all places. "Is this what you want?" She gave him a curious look.

"Yes." The man lifted his gaze to meet hers, giving her a slight smile. "Being with you is what I really want, Sara, but this... it would be my dream career. You know that I've always wanted to teach. California has better schools for Ava. We'll be closer to your mother if you want to visit her. With Ecklie running the lab now... I don't feel like this place is a good fit for me anymore. For us." He remembered to include her in his plan.

Sara gulped softly, looking at the lab around them. "As soon as possible you said? I thought I was just going on six months maternity, before I came back."

"California has a crime lab." He pointed out to her. "With your background and my connections, we can get you a job there if that's what you really want. Maybe even something in a supervisory role."

"I don't like being in charge of people, you know that."

"I'm sorry, I just thought that with the baby, you'd want slightly more flexible hours."

Breathing out a soft breath, Sara hesitated a moment, before she asked, "What if I want to stay here?"

The man pursed his lips together, looking at their daughter in his arms. He felt his heart throb as she brushed her little fingers across his cheek, making a series of coos and gurgles. With her hair getting longer and longer every week, she really was turning into a miniature version of the only woman he had ever loved.

"I don't think I could leave my baby girl or the mother of my child behind, so if that's what you want, then we'll stay here in the city."

"Are you sure?" She felt guilty for asking him to give up his dreams for her.

Grissom delicately held his daughter's head in his hand, pressing a kiss to the centre of her forehead. He looked into her eyes a moment, before he carefully handed her back to her mother. "Sara... for as long as I can remember, I've put my hopes and dreams on hold. I thought that all I deserved was what was right in front of me, anything else might complicate the simple life that I had and it would all come crashing down around me. The day I finally decided to follow one of my dreams and take a chance with my life, was the day that I first kissed you, my dear. You've given me so much in such a short space of time... it feels like I'm dreaming. You mean the world to me, Sara. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. If you want to stay here, we'll stay here. If you want to move to Alaska, we'll move to Alaska. Anything you want to do, anywhere you want to go... I will always be with you."

Bursting into a grin, Sara hugged her daughter close, realising what a big mistake she was making. "I don't want you to put your dreams on hold for me, Gil. I want you to follow your dreams. We both do. You've worked your butt off at this lab. You've taught the team so much already."

Sara reached out for his hand, giving him a smile. She knew that she might regret it later, but for now she wanted to support her man, the same way he had been supporting her for the better part of a year.

"You have the right to follow your dreams too, Gil... so we'll go to California with you. I've been thinking about it... and I don't think I could leave her alone with strangers while I go back to work. And I moved here to be with you anyway, so it would kinda defeat the point if I let you leave without me."

"Are you sure?"

After a moment of hesitation, Sara presented him with her sunniest smile. "Yes, Gil." She stepped closer to steal a quick kiss from his lips. "Your daughter needs you. I need you too, because she won't sleep unless you do the bicycle thing with her legs. She doesn't like it when I do it. We're a family now, so we have to stick together. Where you go, we go."

Grissom nodded his head slightly, giving her a smile. "Alright, we can start looking at houses. We need to find a paediatrician for Ava. I'll have to hand in my notice here. I'm sure that one will go through pretty quick." He smirked, from the way things were between himself and Ecklie at the moment, the man would probably be relieved to see the back of him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Sara? You can back out any time."

"I'm positive. I'll look into paediatrician's for her." Sara gently smoothed her hand up and down her daughter's back, sensing she was starting to get sleepy as she had become more cuddly. "I still have the boxes left over from when I moved in with you, so it should be pretty easy to pack our things up. I'll have to give in my notice too. How are you going to break it to your mother?"

"I'm sure she'll want to move with us at the moment." He smirked, leaning closer to press a kiss to the back of his daughter's head. "I'll call my friend back. Tell her the good news. Do you want me to give you a ride home?"

"No, it's okay. My car's right downstairs. I got a whole three hours of sleep this morning, so I feel pretty rested for a change." Patting her daughter on the back, she stole a quick hug from her partner, feeling excited about the move, even though she was dreading all the work involved. She really didn't want to leave Las Vegas or her friends behind, but she had to make decisions that were right for her family now.

Still, she couldn't help but wonder what Greg was going to say now. Would Nick and Catherine understand their decision. Warrick would probably be even more distant from her now, but she had to put Ava and Grissom before all of them now.

It was a tough decision to make.

"Sara." Grissom spoke softly, gently tracing a fingertip across her forehead. "As much as I want you with me in California, I don't want to force you into going anywhere. If you need more time..."

"No." Sara interrupted him, shaking her head. "We're doing this. Say bye to Daddy, Ava." She let him hold his little girl again. "Do you know what time you'll be back?"

"Four, five hours tops." He held his daughter close, kissing her little fingers. "Do you want me to pick anything up?"

"We did a store run earlier, so I think we're good. Betty came with us. She bought herself some new curtains for the dining room. She needs you to put them up for her." She gave the man a cheeky smile. "You won't be able to run errands for her or complete all her DIY projects if we're in California."

"My mother has lived alone before. It's not like she doesn't have friends in this city. She was living here long before I started at the lab. If it gets too much for her, she can live with us." Grissom gently rocked his daughter in his arms, reluctantly giving her up to get back to work. She started crying the second she was out of his arms, turning her head to try and see where he had gone. "I'm sorry, my dear. I have to get back to work. You're going to go home with Mommy."

"See, definite Daddy's girl." Sara held her baby girl close, trying to comfort her as she cried out for her missing father. "Can I use your office to feed her before we go? I was going to do it in the car before we came up, but those security cameras point in every direction."

"Sure, I have my key." He tapped his pocket to make sure that it was still there. "Lock the door, you won't be disturbed. Ecklie's not in the moment, so he's not here to argue about her being in the lab." Grissom leant forwards, pressing a kiss to Sara's forehead, before he slipped away.

Sara carried her daughter off to his office, making sure that no one was inside, before she locked them in. She adjusted the blinds so no one could see in, dimming the lights a little. "Oh, oh, oh..." She mimicked her daughter's whimpers, sitting down with her on the sofa. "Why all the fuss? Daddy's coming back. He just has to work for a little while." She lay her daughter against her legs, shrugging off her jacket. She was getting used to the routine of breast feeding her now, but it still felt awkward doing it in a public place, especially the lab of all places.

Ava gave up her crying after a few minutes of her mother hugging her close, settling just enough for another feed. They stayed put for an hour or so, getting in one last visit with Grissom, before they made their way home. She was out like a light in the car, giving Sara the opportunity to fix some dinner while she slept in her car seat, with Hank keeping a watchful eye over her.

"Good job, Hank. You're such a good little helper." Sara gently ruffled her fingers through his hair, checking the time on her watch. "She should be waking up soon. Daddy should be home soon too." She didn't even correct herself and say 'Gil' this time.

It really did come naturally to her now.

Sitting herself down at the dining table, Sara watched the clock, anxiously waiting for the return of her partner. Her mind started mulling over the decision to up and move to California, wondering if they could even make their relationship there. His part time schedule at the lab was hectic enough, but a full day's work teaching students could keep him away for longer. She wouldn't know anyone. She had never lived in California, so she didn't exactly know the area either.

What would she do with herself all day?

"Sara." The man in question called through the house, ditching his things by the door. He kicked off his shoes, greeting Hank with a quick chin scratch, before he made his way down the stairs towards, Sara. "Hi, that looks nice." He took a quick look at the meal laid out on the table. He couldn't quite tell what it was yet. Sara had already admitted to him that she wasn't the best of cooks. She had lived most of her single life on take out menus, but she made a decent enough vegetarian lasagne. "I'm just going to grab a quick shower. Are you alright?"

"Sort of." Sara shrugged her shoulders together. "Did you get back to your friend?"

"Yes, she was delighted. She can't wait to meet you." Grissom started unbuttoning his shirt, making his way towards the bedroom door.

"When do you start?" She called after him.

"Technically the term has already started, so she needs me as soon as possible. We can stay at a hotel while we look for a house or I can go by myself and you move down later when we find somewhere." Sensing the change in her attitude, Grissom turned back to the dining room, giving her a curious look. "I meant what I said, Sara. I don't want to force you into doing anything. If you don't want to go, I'll call her back and tell her that I can't do it. We can stay here."

"I want to."

"But?" Grissom sensed it coming.

When she remained silent, Grissom held one finger up to her, signalling for her to wait one moment. He hurried back up the stairs, digging something out of his jacket pocket. He made his way back down to her with the object hidden behind his back, perching himself on the table beside her.

With a perplexed frown on her face, Sara asked, "What are you doing, Gilbert?"

"I wanted to wait for the right moment. That perfect moment where it would all fall into place and make perfect sense, but now seems like the best time." He gave her that adorable boyish grin of his. "I have something for you, my dear."

"You do?" Sara felt her throat tightening. Her cheeks started to flush as she tried to see what was hidden in his hand. There were only so many things that it could be. She was so worried that it wasn't the thing she thought it was, but what if it was.

What was her reaction supposed to be?

"Sara..." He looked into her eyes, his voice so calm and relaxed. He licked his lips, raising the object from his hand. She felt her heart stop as he presented her with a small black box. He looked as though he was going to say something else, but instead he placed the box in her hand. She stared at it for the longest moment, feeling the soft felt lining the box soothing his sticky palm. She wanted to open it, but she was scared what this could mean.

When she finally did, she was disappointed to say the least. Not because the diamond didn't match her tastes, but because of the fact that there was no diamond. There wasn't even a ring. The small black jewellery box had a reel of white string inside and nothing else.

What was this supposed to mean?

Before her imagination ran wild with her, Grissom plucked the string reel out of the box, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Growing up, I was taught that marriage was a milestone in someone's life. A rite of passage into adulthood. It was just something that naturally happened to someone at a certain point in their lives when they found that someone special. I soon began to realise that my life wasn't going to turn out like that. I didn't feel as though I could or would ever be able to commit to another human being and I didn't think that I would ever find the one."

Grissom slowly unravelled the string, tying a loop in the end. He slotted it into place on her finger, bravely looking into her eyes.

"I once asked my father how he knew that my mother was the one. He told me that he couldn't describe it, he just knew. From the moment he first met my mother, he felt as though there was a string between them, holding them together. An unbreakable bond that was always there, even when they were apart." He unravelled the reel a little more, adoring the confused look in Sara's eyes. "Until I met you, I never knew what that felt like. I never thought I would experience that feeling, but from the moment I met you, I felt something between us. I really wish that I had acted on it sooner, but if I did, we wouldn't have gone through the journey to get us to this stage and the string between us wouldn't have strengthened like this."

Before she could ask what he meant, he unravelled the string a little more, letting a ring glide down it. The ring fell perfectly into place on Sara's ring finger, making her heart skip a beat. She didn't know much about diamonds, but the cut looked expensive. The diamond sparkled in the light and was almost heart shaped and the ring fit snugly on her finger, like it was meant to be there.

She adored it.

"This string isn't nearly long enough to show you how much I love you, Sara, but I think that over time it will continue to grow as our bond becomes stronger." Grissom unravelled the cord a little more, looking into the eyes of the woman he adored. "After years of ignoring, denying and misunderstanding the feelings that I have for you, I've never been surer of anything in my life than I am right now. Before I met you, I couldn't imagine living my life with another person. Now, I can't imagine my life without you... or our daughter." He quickly added, brining a smile to her lips.

"I think I know what you're trying to say." Sara spoke softly, relieved that he was trying to say the words to her, but she didn't expect so many from a man of very few words. "Gil, I can feel it in my heart that we're supposed to be together, and no matter where we go, as long as I'm with you, I'll feel complete."

"Can I take that as a yes?"

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading and sticking with this story. Sorry about the wait, this chapter was a pain to write. I think I finally got it the way I wanted it though, hopefully you all enjoyed it. I have two more chapters to go on this story, but they're still in note form at the moment, so no idea when they'll be ready yet. I'm having trouble keeping my brain focused at the moment :)**

 **Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.** **See you in the next one.**

 **Enjoy your weekend!**

 **~ Holly**


	20. Expectations

**Chapter Twenty - Expectations**

Throwing the last of her things into the box on the bench behind her, Sara sighed softly, looking around at the locker room for the last time. She closed up her empty locker, peeling off her name tag from the front, wondering what kind of CSI they were going to hire to take her place. She imagined replacing Grissom would be a harder challenge.

There was no one in the world like him.

"Alright, that's me done." She stepped out into the hall, where her friends and colleagues had gathered. She didn't want to make a big fuss, but her friends didn't want her to just suddenly disappear from their lives, so they hung around after their shift to bid her a farewell. She looked between their sad little faces, giving them all a smile. "It's not like I'm going that far. California is a four hour drive from here."

"With our schedules though, when would we have the time to drive four hours." Catherine pointed out to her.

"I'll visit you, Sara." Nick assured her.

"Alright, if we're going to do this. Let's do it properly." She dropped the box of her belongings on the floor.

Greg stepped forwards first, hugging the woman he thought of as an older sister as though he was never going to see her again. The first time he laid eyes on her, he fell head over heels in love with her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her eyes were so bright, they made her sunny smile sparkle even more. He knew from the start that she was way out of his league, but he never thought he would lose the woman of his dreams to his socially awkward supervisor.

"Bye, Greg." Sara gently patted his back, pulling back slightly to give him that same smile that got him hooked in the first place. "You can come visit me sometime if you want."

"If my mother finds out I'm back in California, she'll probably rope me into some kind of family event that I can't get out of."

Sara gave him a smile, moving onto Nick who already had a slight tear in his eyes. She put her arms around his shoulders, smoothing her hand across his back in an attempt to comfort him. "I'll call you when I get there. You can call me whenever you like too." She clutched him a little tighter, whispering against his ear, "Thank you, Nicky."

Nick hugged his pseudo sister back, secretly wishing that he could go with her. He grew up with five sisters back in Texas, but he had never been that close to them. They were all older than him, more interested in their careers or their children than visiting him out in Las Vegas or taking any interest in his life. Sara had been there for him from the moment she first arrived. They had always had a friendly sibling banter between them that made him feel as though he was losing a sister, not just a colleague.

"You can always change your mind." Warrick suggested, hoping she wasn't really going to leave them like this. "You're one of the best CSIs I've ever worked with. Our victims are losing out if you're off being a full time mother."

Sara gave him a slight nod, letting go of Nick in her arms. "I'm just... not so sure that is for me anymore. Even before I had my daughter, I was starting to feel as though this city, this job... it wasn't right for me. Now that I have something amazing and so precious to live for... I don't want to be dealing with danger and horrible deaths shoved in my face every day. I thought that I could still do it, but I don't even like hearing Grissom talking about the cases he worked. I just want... a somewhat normal life." She shrugged her shoulders together, looking between her friends. "I don't even really know what that feels like. I've never been a part of a family or had any real purpose. I thought this was the easiest job for me to get away from having to deal with people, but we're sucked into every one of their lives and I can't deal with it all anymore."

Greg nodded in agreement, the slightest smile occupying his lips. He wanted to be happy about her decision to leave, but he couldn't help but feel that she was giving up the greatest opportunity and trading it in for second best.

"Well I for one am happy for you," Lunging forwards, Catherine took her turn for the next hug, realising she had never actually hugged Sara before. She didn't exactly get on with her the first time they met. She planned on hating her long before she got to know her, but she let her work the Holly Gribbs case with her, rather than kicking her off it like she thought, earning her respect. "The lab won't be the same without you." She reluctantly let the woman go, feeling a tear burning in her own eye.

"You'll get somebody new in and you'll forget all about me."

"Never." Catherine shook her head. "You're irreplaceable."

Rather than taking his turn to hug her, Warrick awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling as though he was losing a father and a sister over a baby. He had never had much family growing up. His father abandoned him at a young age, then his mother died, leaving him in the hands of his grandmother. She wasn't exactly the kindest person, but she did all she could to whip him into shape, making sure he focused on school, rather than the gang violence circulating their neighbourhood.

He loved her for that, but he still missed out on having a loving mother to tuck him in at night or a strong father to protect him from all the bad in the world and teach him all the wonderful things about life.

Grissom had been that strong male role model in his life for as long as he could remember. He kept him on the straight and narrow. He got him out of the messes he always seemed to get himself into and mostly importantly, he had given him something to believe in, rather than wasting his life away at the Blackjack table.

He couldn't help but feel that Sara and the baby were taking that away from him. If Grissom left, how would he cope?

Sara waited expectantly for him to make the first move, but he was adamant on being the same stubborn man she first met all those years ago. "Alright," She bent to pick up her box, making a move for the elevators. "Bye, guys."

"Bye, Sara." Nick finally spoke, his voice almost breaking with emotion. He was fighting the urge not to cry now, trying to support her decision for leaving, rather than dwelling on the fact that they were losing another vital member of the team.

It was hard enough losing Grissom, but he didn't exactly stick around to say his goodbyes.

"Bye, Sara." Catherine threw one arm around the woman's shoulders, giving her another quick hug. She had seen people come and go in this lab all the time, but none of them quite made the same impact that Sara had on this lab before. "Look after that little girl of yours, okay? Keep us updated."

"Yeah, you'll have to send us pictures or somethin'." Nick agreed with her. "See if she looks more like Mommy or Daddy as she gets older."

"Hey, what about Grissom's mother, Betty?" Greg queried. "Is she going with you or..."

"No, she's staying here." Sara shook her head, reminding herself to check her phone for any messages. She had left her daughter in Betty's care while she took a quick trip to the lab, but she had been on her own with her for the past three hours now. "We did offer, but she wants to stay here. Her friends are here. She's built a life for herself here. She can come visit whenever she likes though. I'm pretty sure we're going to buy a house that has enough room for all four of us, so she'll probably be over every weekend. But she's fine with staying here."

"I don't think anything could keep that woman away from her grandchild." Catherine smirked, sighing softly as Sara made a move for the elevator. "Bye, Sara. Don't worry about us here at the lab. You just worry about that little girl of yours."

Nodding softly, Sara gulped back her emotions, pushing the button to call the elevator to their floor. She tapped her foot against the ground watching the numbers going up ever so slowly, wishing it would hurry up before she really started crying. She didn't like feeling this vulnerable, especially in her former place of work.

As the elevator doors slid open, Warrick finally pulled his hands out of his pockets, chasing after her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, giving her a slight smile as she turned round. "Sara," He put his arms around her shoulders, gently hugging her in his strong embrace. "I don't want you to go." He confessed, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Grissom's already there. If I don't go... Ava will be without a father." Sara spoke softly. "You know how that feels. I know how that feels. I can't do that to her for my own selfish reasons."

Warrick clutched her a little tighter, wishing she wasn't making sense. "That kid is the luckiest girl in the world to have you as a mother, Sara." He reluctantly let her go, before the elevator doors closed again, fighting back his tears as she climbed inside. He gave her a wave as they started to close, feeling a hand on his shoulder.

Catherine presented him with a smile, before she hugged him tightly in her arms. "Hey, we'll see them again before you know it. Did you happen to notice the engagement ring on Sara's finger?" She pulled back from the man, giving him a knowing smile. "There's no way those two are the tying the knot without the whole team there."

"I hope you're right."

* * *

Approaching the flower covered arch outside the hotel, Sara removed the sunglasses from her face, grimacing at the sight of the fairytale setup in front of her. The hotel almost looked like a castle, stretching high up into the clouds. The grounds were a little too green and the flowers looked a little too fake. She didn't like it one bit. She knew she couldn't complain though, she had already turned down the church, the beach club and vineyard. She didn't want to turn down yet another possible wedding venue location, but it just really wasn't to her liking.

Like everyone kept telling her, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It was her special day to publicly declare her love to the most amazing man in the world and she wanted it to be perfect.

"So, what do you think?" Her wedding planner, Josie rejoined her out in the gardens, seeing the sceptical look plastered across her new clients face.

Josie was an awkward looking woman. She was barely five feet tall, wearing six inch heeled platforms she could barely walk in. She must have been at least fifty years old, wearing a floral print pink suit that fit her a little too snugly. Her hair was bleached blonde, styled in twister like curls that went in all directions, giving her a little extra height. She spoke with a New Yorker accent, but she mentioned to them earlier that she was from Kansas, born and raised.

"Ignore this weather we're having for a moment." Josie waved up to the dark clouds hanging over their heads. "Imagine a bright summers day. The aisle will stretch down here, going under the arch towards the pond, where you and your fiancé will wed." She enthusiastically waved her hands around in the air.

Hooking her sunglasses onto her blouse, Sara pursed her lips together, hating the idea completely. It really wasn't what she pictured or even remotely close to what she wanted. Instead of saying anything bad about another one of her choices though, she simply turned and walked back to where she had left her future mother in law, holding her daughter in her arms.

Her and her daughter had only been in California for three days, when Betty decided to fly over and join them. She didn't approve of their temporary apartment and they didn't exactly have the space for her either, so she booked herself into the closest hotel, where she could keep a close eye on them.

Sara didn't mind her meddling too much at the moment though as she was helping her to get organised.

Grissom had been living here in California for three weeks already, driving back to Las Vegas every few days to see them. Sara dragged her heels as much as she could with the packing, delaying the process for a while, until she really started to miss seeing him every day.

After three whole days and nights without him, she finally decided that it was time to pack up and move on. She didn't even care where they lived anymore, just as long as they were together.

If only the wedding planning could go just as well.

"What are you two talking about?" Sara joined her daughter and future mother in law, smiling as she saw Betty's eyes completely lighting up at the sight of her grandchild. "I think it's going to rain soon. We should probably get you back to your hotel. What do you think?"

Betty nodded in agreement, handing her grandchild back to her mother. She grabbed her jacket off the bench, taking hold of the stroller.

"No, no fussing. We can go to the park tomorrow with Nana." Sara gently bounced her daughter in her arms, holding her securely against her chest. "We have to get back home and make Daddy some dinner. He's gonna be really hungry after his long day of teaching, isn't he?" She spoke to her five month old, pressing playful kisses to her little cheek.

"So you don't like the garden, it's alright. The lobby inside is stunning." Josie, the eager but annoying wedding planner shuffled after her in her ridiculous heels, giving her mother in law a smile. "C'mon Mrs Grissom, bend your daughter in law's arm on this one. You want your son to marry in style, right? The lobby inside has really high ceilings, a long elegant walkway. It can seat two... three hundred guests, easy. There's a huge dining room right next door, where you can seat all of your wedding party. There's probably even room for a dance floor."

Sara rolled her eyes, quickly picking up her daughter's stuffed Regent Skipper butterfly off the bench that they had started to nickname 'Skipper'. It was her first and still her most important stuffed animal in her collection. She literally wouldn't go down at night without Skipper tucked under her arm.

"Miss Sidle, please. I can find another place. Please, please don't fire me." Josie looked as though she was about to cry. Her purple eye shadow was already starting to smudge. "It's just, you haven't given me a whole lot to go on. Don't get me wrong, I've dealt with some fussy brides in my time, but they all had their own ideas of what they wanted. You haven't given me any kind of idea of what you want."

Sara looked at her baby girl in her arms, adoring the little monster as she sucked her whole hand into her mouth. She had never pictured having a baby one day, much less a big fancy wedding. It all seemed too much, but she was sure that she wanted to marry Gilbert Grissom more than anything in the world.

"I just want something intimate. Quiet, low key. A simple ceremony then a quiet get together between family and friends. Nothing too flashy or over the top. I don't want to show off or be the centre of attention."

"Okay." Josie nodded, quickly jotting down some notes in her sparkly pink planner. This was the most information her new client had given her in the three days since they had met. "I can do intimate. Any thoughts on bands, florists, catering, photographer or videographer to document the event?"

Sara really wanted to head home to finish unpacking before the rest of their things arrived, but she didn't want to have to do this again another day. She sighed softly, turning to look at her wedding planner that was really starting to get on her nerves. She only agreed to hire one because Grissom thought she could help them to get organised, but she was starting to think that things would be simpler if she could just deal with it herself.

Of course, she had no idea what went into a wedding, so she needed a little guidance.

"No video, but I don't mind a photographer. Catering... anything simple and not too fiddly or fussy. I don't eat meat. My friends will pretty much eat anything though." She thought back to Nick eating a fly that he found in his scrambled eggs at their favourite diner. "We don't need a band either, we've got it covered." She remembered Doc Al Robbins' wedding gift offer of having his band perform live for her. She wasn't too keen on the idea at first, but now it made perfect sense. "Flowers... no plastic ones or over the top arrangements. Something simple and delicate... no pink." She cringed looking at her wedding planners outfit.

"Got it." Josie continued scribbling down some notes, presenting her fussy client with a smile. "I'll call you as soon as I find something. Thank you, Miss Sidle. I won't let you down." She scurried away in her enormous heels, excited to start planning.

"That woman is crazy hyper." Sara spoke softly, making sure her future mother in law picked up her bag, before they started walking away. "Thank you for coming over, Betty. I know you weren't overly thrilled that we decided to move here..."

Betty grabbed her arm, shaking her head as she gave her a smile. She signed something to Sara as slowly as she could, assuring her that she only wanted to see them happy.

'You are my family now, Sara.' She signed, giving her a heart warming smile.

Although she wasn't normally the kind of woman to tear up over sentimental things, Sara felt a tear threatening to escape from her eye. She leant forwards to gently hug the older woman, even more grateful that she decided to join them in California them now.

Without her here, she feared that this emotional rollercoaster ride she was on might derail at any moment.

* * *

"Where's Daddy? Where is he?"

Sara beamed a wide smile at her little girl, feeling her heart warming with pride as their daughter attempted to crawl off her play mat towards the man that just came through the door. She hadn't quite figured out how to use her legs yet though, so she was almost commando crawling using only her hands and elbows.

"C'mon, sweetheart. C'mon," Grissom got down on his knees, holding his hands out to her. "I told you she'll be crawling any day now." He grinned at her as she made a little gurgling sound, before she tried to drag herself forwards again. "You gotta use your legs too, honey. Almost... now you're getting all caught up in the mat, aren't you?" He flattened out the rumpled mat, distracting her with the squeaker toy attached to it.

"What about Daddy, Ava?" Sara pointed towards him, watching her baby girl trying to pull the squeaker out of the mat. "Daddy's home. Don't you want to give him a big hug?" She smiled as her baby girl flopped over onto her side, trying to put the toy in her mouth, rather than paying attention to the man who had just returned home.

Grissom bent to scoop her up, lifting her against his shoulder. He kissed the side of her little head, breathing in her familiar baby scent now that he was finally home. "I missed you, sweet girl." He gently smoothed his hand up and down her back, carrying her over her mother. "I missed you too." He pressed a kiss to Sara's cheek. "How did the house hunt go?"

"It didn't. Realtor cancelled on us last minute. We started looking at wedding venues instead. This place isn't that bad though. I'm sure it'll be for a few weeks or so."

"Until she starts crawling." Grissom pointed out to her.

The temporary apartment they were in didn't have a whole lot space, but it did have a lot of stairs. They had three sets of stairs to climb to get to their floor. The apartment opened up to the living room slash dining area then there was a set of stairs leading down to the kitchen and a spiral staircase going up to the two bedrooms and bathroom. It wasn't exactly ideal with a baby and a dog, but it was just supposed to be temporary while they were house hunting.

"Did my mother get back to her hotel okay?"

"Yeah, she showed us inside her room. She's got a beach front view. Loads of space." Sara reached out for her daughter from his arms, lifting her against her shoulder. "We took Ava to the park this morning. There's a dog park right next to it, so Hank had fun too. I think he made friends with this big Doberman we saw. Ava took a really long nap in her stroller, while we toured a few venues that Josie recommended. Nothing note worthy though. I think it's harder because it's just me doing it."

"I'm sorry, my dear. I have some time off over the weekend." He assured her, lifting his bags from by the door. "My hours should normalise a little once I get my schedule sorted. I didn't realise I'd have to go through so many training programmes just to teach again."

"You've been out of the game too long." Sara chuckled softly, holding her daughter as she made her way down the narrow staircase into the kitchen. "Hey Hank, look who's home." She ushered him over, watching Grissom setting his bags down so he could greet the dog. "You know, maybe we should house hunt together. Betty and I can handle the wedding plans. It's not like we're in a rush to get married and it's just one day. Our house will be our address where we'll live together as a family. Where our daughter will grow. In my books, it's a little but more important than what colour table cloth we're going to have at our wedding reception."

Grissom smiled in response from his position on the floor, giving the dog one last pat to the head, before he straightened up. "Sara, we really don't have to stay here if you don't..."

"I moved because I love you. I missed not being able to see you every day. We both did. Being with you is more important than our address. I choose us over any city." Sara assured him, gently stroking her thumb across his cheek. "I love you, Gil. I want to live here, because this is where you are. If you want to move someday, we're all going with you. I never got it before. Probably because I've never been part of a family before, but now that I have one, I feel like I'd do anything to keep us together."

"We're not going anywhere, Sara."

Sara wanted to believe him, but she knew from past experiences that she always had a tendency to damage relationships. Mostly unintentionally, but other times she feared they would leave her, leaving her all alone again.

* * *

When the weekend finally rolled around, Grissom was up and out of bed before her, tending to their daughter's needs. She was a little easier to feed now that she was on formula, but they were still a little hesitant about trying her on solids. She liked mushy banana one day back in Las Vegas, but she had completely refused to eat it since. She barely tasted the kiwi her grandmother tried to feed her the other day and she kept spitting out the sweet potato, knocking Sara's confidence a little.

"Good morning, my dear." Grissom presented her with a smile, carrying a tray with food on it towards her. "Scrambled eggs, French toast and a few apples and strawberries. I thought I'd treat you to breakfast in bed." He set it down on her lap, kissing her forehead as she sat herself up right in bed. He perched himself beside her, adoring her wide morning yawn. "I was going to make you some pancakes, but there's not much of anything left down there."

"Sorry, we were supposed to shop, but we don't know where anything is. I think I saw a Wal-mart on the drive home yesterday." She grabbed the cutlery from his hand, presenting him with a wide smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Where's Ava? You can't leave her on her own now she's almost mobile."

"She's fine. She's sitting in her highchair." Grissom gave her a smile, seeing the look in her eyes. "Nana Betty is with her. I'm not completely incapable, you know."

"Just checking. I keep worrying about leaving her on the change mat. I worry that she could fall off and break something if I even take my eyes off her for a second. We fell asleep together on the sofa yesterday, she was this close to falling off and cracking her head open. She's not strong enough to start crawling yet. I don't see why she can't just lie there for a few more months."

Grissom gently patted her hand, giving her a reassuring smile. "You're a great mother, Sara. She still has a long ways to go before she's really mobile. We just have to baby proof as best we can until then. Personally, I can't wait until she starts crawling or walking. I can't wait to teach her how to ride a bike. How to play baseball. I wonna take her to museums and teach her how to swim... there's baby and me classes at the local centre. They can start as early as six months."

"I can't swim." Sara confessed, seeing the surprised look on his face. "I never had the opportunity to learn."

"You can learn together." He smiled at her. "We've got all these things to look forward to, Sara. We can grow and learn with her. I really can't wait until she's old enough to go on a rollercoaster."

Sara couldn't help but laugh, gently holding the man's hand in her own. "She's so lucky to have you as a father."

"She's even luckier to have you as a mother." He kissed her forehead, gently brushing his fingers through her hair. "Take as long as you like, our first appointment isn't until eleven. Is it alright if my mother comes with us? She wants to spend some more time with Ava, before she heads home on Monday."

"Yeah, sure. That's fine." Sara nodded her head. "I'll eat this, grab a quick shower, then I should be ready."

"No rush." Grissom gave her a smile, taking the spiral stairs back down to his mother. He waved to his little girl, retaking his seat beside them. "You have more of this over your face then you do in your mouth, little girl. Mind if I take over?" He took the spoon and bowl of oatmeal off his mother, scraping the spoon across his baby girl's chin first. "You're so messy."

Betty giggled softly, signing 'I wonder who she gets that from?' giving her son a wide smile.

"She couldn't possibly mean me, could she?" Grissom beamed an equally wide smile at his baby girl, popping a fresh spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth. "Her hair is getting so long already." He gently brushed his fingers across her head, straightening out her slightly curled strands. "It's hard to believe she's gonna be six months old next week. It feels like she was only just born a few days ago."

'I told you it goes fast.' Betty gently tapped his arm, smiling at her granddaughter. She wished she could be there for every moment of her granddaughter's life, but she had her own life to get back to and she didn't want to crowd her son's chance at happiness.

When they were finally ready to leave, the clouds hanging over the city started to darken, showering a fresh layer of rain over every inch of the city. The air was still hot and crisp, just not the sweltering temperatures that they were used to back in Las Vegas.

It almost felt like home, but the city looked so much brighter, shinier as though it was clean slate for them.

The first house on their list was a big beautiful family home in Long Beach. They could smell the sea air as soon as they climbed out of the car. Sara stood in the light shower of rain a moment, breathing in the familiar scent. She hadn't been around that smell in years. It immediately triggered happier memories from her childhood that she had long forgotten.

"It's big." Grissom noted, lifting his daughter out to the car. He thought their first home would be a little smaller, but it looked big enough to fit an entire family inside.

"I love those windows." Sara had only lived in apartments her whole adult life. She had small windows with thick shades drawn twenty four seven to block out the sunlight, nothing like the big beautiful windows on this house that let in all the natural light. "There's a garden too." She climbed the steps, pushing open the front gate that led into the front garden. The stone brick path led right up to the big Royal blue front door. Grass sat on either side of it with symmetrical flower beds on either side. She couldn't name any of the flowers, but they were definitely real and beautiful.

Holding his daughter like a football, Grissom followed his mother's footsteps into the front garden, adoring the look on Sara's face.

The realtor opened the door as they approached it, giving them a smile as she led them inside. She clutched her briefcase in both hands, watching the three of them looking around with wide eyes of amazement. Even the little girl in her father's arms had stopped her gurgling, curiously looking around at her new surroundings.

The front door opened up into a rather large lobby that had a staircase in the middle of it. Sara glanced up the stairs that seemed to go on forever, before she took the first door on the right. The house didn't have any furniture inside, giving her a clearer view of just how much space they would have. She thought the lobby was huge, but the family room she had just walked into was even bigger. She could picture their sofa and things inside, along with a few new items just to fill the extra space.

To the right of the stairs led into another large room, attached to a kitchen that looked as though it had just come out of a magazine. She guessed they could use the area as a dining room or even a play area for when Ava was a little older. She could learn how to cook a big family meal in their fancy new kitchen, while keeping an eye on Hank and her daughter playing out in the huge garden they had out the back of the house.

Leaving the others downstairs, Sara ventured upstairs, finding another large window that gave her the perfect view of the sea coast in the distance. She watched the waves rolling up the sand a moment, before she turned towards the bedrooms. The master bedroom was at least twice the size of Grissom's back in Las Vegas. It had a huge walk in wardrobe and a bathroom attached. There were two smaller rooms next to it. She had already picked out the one with the bay window seat to be Ava's when she got older and the one closest to the smaller bathroom could be for Betty when she visited.

Sara never would have imagined a house like this in her future. She had processed houses like this for a case, but she never thought in a million years she would be able to live in one herself.

This was a dream home.

"Do you like it?" Grissom appeared beside her.

"It's... big. Really big." Sara couldn't think of any other word to describe it at the moment. "There's only three of us and one of us is really small. Do we really need this much space?" She turned to look at him, adoring the little expression on their daughter's face as she looked around at their new surroundings, completely content in her father's arms. "How can we afford something like this?"

"It's in our price range. It's actually just under our price range." He admitted. "If you picture all of our furniture in here. Everything you had in storage, everything from my apartment... it won't seem so big anymore. I can cover it, Sara."

"So I get free living?"

"Sara, you're going to be my wife." He felt the need to remind her. "This isn't just a temporary solution. We're going to be living here as a family for as long as we want. We have a daughter together. This is the house where she'll grow. There's a school within walking distance. We're close to the sea, but not too close. There's a spare room from my mother. Hank has plenty of room to run around. This will be _our_ space. _Our_ little slice of the world."

"I thought you said you had no idea what kind of house the realtor was showing us today?"

Grissom presented her with a smile, confessing, "I did some research first. The owners only just moved out, so we're probably the first to view it. The nearest hospital is five minutes away. The schools are great. There's parks and plenty of things to do in this area." He cracked a wider smile. "You know me, Sara. When have I ever gone into anything without a little research first? I wanted to see the surprise on your face when you first saw the place, so I didn't tell you."

Sara chuckled softly, leaning forwards to steal a quick kiss from his lips. "This is why I love you so much, Gilbert." She brushed her thumb across his cheek, feeling as though she was falling in love with him all over again. "I love the house. How soon can we move in?"

"Well, we have to put in an offer for the house. If the owners accept our offer then we can start carrying out our own checks of the house. The realtor said it can take up to a month for escrow to close then we get keys and the house is ours. The asking price is in our price range though, so we shouldn't have any competition for the house."

"A month." Sara sighed softly, wishing they could live here right now. She folded her arms across her chest, looking around at her dream home that she feared she could lose. She took another quick tour around the house with the realtor this time, before she joined Betty out in the garden. She didn't exactly have a green thumb, but there was plenty of space for all kinds of gardening projects. "Is that a pool?" She noticed something at the far end covered in blue tarp.

"Hot tub." The realtor hurried down the path towards it, uncovering it so they could take a look. "Fairly new addition to the house. Great for all weathers. It's raised, so your little one shouldn't climb inside, but you could easily fence this area in."

Sara smiled as she examined the hot tub, wondering if her fiancé knew about that little addition too. She turned to look at him, watching him pointing out the flowers to their little girl. She had her little head tilted back against his chest, curiously looking at him as he gave her a lecture on the different types of flowers in the flowerbed just outside their kitchen window. She couldn't believe she was standing here now after the year she just had, but somehow she knew that it was all going to work out.

After a lifetime of being on her own, she finally had her family.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading and sticking with this story. Sorry about the month long wait on this one, life stuff keeps getting in the way. Hopefully it was worth the wait though. One more chapter to go now. I'm not making any promises, but I hope to get it finished and uploaded this month :) It's tricky as I have a lot of family events coming up, but they should give me more inspiration for what's coming up.**

 **Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Thank you for being so patient!**

 **Please feel free to tell me what you thought of this chapter and thank you for all your continued support.**

 **~ Holly**


	21. Romance

**Chapter Twenty One - Romance**

As soon as Grissom left for work that morning, Sara jumped straight out of bed, fuelled by an odd combination of excitement and nerves. Eager to start the day, she scooped her little girl out of the crib at the end of their bed, pressing a kiss to her little cheek. She lay her down on the bed to get her diaper changed, leaving her in her PJ's for now, so she could hurry down the spiral staircase to greet Nana Betty with her bag of goodies.

She couldn't believe that today was finally the day.

Weeks of planning the biggest event of her life seemed to fly by, disappearing into nothing and now it was finally here.

'How are you feeling?' Betty signed to her on her way in.

"Fine." She lied.

Really she felt a little relieved that the day was finally here, very nervous that they only had a matter of hours left and a mixture of sheer excited terror boiling up inside her. She managed to keep her shaky hands steady enough to fix them all some breakfast, but she couldn't quite stomach waffles and strawberries with her mind on other things.

'The morning of my wedding, I couldn't keep anything down.' Betty gently tapped her hand, giving her a reassuring smile. 'You've got plenty of time to let your nerves settled.'

"I hope so." Sara smiled back at her, watching her daughter crawling after the dog almost robotically.

Hank wasn't sure what to think of her when she was just laying there crying all the time, but now that she was crawling around, following him everywhere he went, he was starting to get used to her. She was like a second shadow to him now.

Ever the cautious mother she was, Sara made sure she supervised all of their playing, stopping Ava from pulling his tail or ears to hard and stopping Hank from telling her off. He hadn't hurt her yet, but she wasn't leaving anything to chance.

"Hank." She cautioned the dog from growling at the baby. "Ava, just loves you so much. She doesn't mean to pull so hard. Gentle." She pried her daughter's little hands away from the dogs fur. "Gentle. Stroke him like Daddy showed you."

'Gil has always had dogs. They never hurt him.' Betty assured the nervous new mother.

"Hank has never had to deal with a baby before though." Sara ushered Hank out of the room, trying to distract her daughter with some toys to play with, rather than the dog. "Catherine should be here any moment. Are you sure you're alright looking after these two while we get things set up?"

Betty nodded, signing 'Perfect Angel,' as she looked at her grandchild on the floor.

Sara took another sip of her coffee, wishing she only knew just how monstrous their little angel could become, especially now that she was teething. "At least we have one less thing to worry about. Neither of my parents will be attending and Ecklie has his hands full with the lab."

Betty smiled in agreement. 'My mother in law was on the sauce before it was even nine o' clock on the day of my wedding. She never liked me. From the moment my Arthur introduced us, she decided that I wasn't the right sort for her precious boy. She told him she wouldn't sober up unless he called the wedding off. So we stuck her in the back and hoped for the best. You have nothing to worry about.' She tapped her daughter in laws hand, before she motioned towards the time. 'Go get yourself showered, I'll keep an eye on her.'

"Thank you." Sara signed back to her, taking her coffee upstairs with her.

She straightened her dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door, anxiously biting her bottom lip as she stepped past it. She wasn't sure if Grissom would like it. It was the third dress she had tried on in the store, but looking at it now, she wondered if the second one she tried on wasn't the better choice.

"Too late now." Sara set her coffee down, combing her fingers through her hair as she stepped up to the mirror. She frowned as she saw the pimple on her forehead, leaning a little closer to get a better look. "Great." She muttered, hoping she had enough makeup to cover it. A pimple was the least of her problems today, but it was already ruining her mood. She hoped that it would fade away after her shower, but it only seemed to be getting bigger.

"Good Morning." Catherine greeted her at the foot of the stairs. "How are we doing this morning? Nerves starting to set in yet?"

"No, I'm fine." Sara tightened her robe around her waist, looking around their cluttered apartment. "Weren't you bringing, Lindsey with you?"

"Oh, she's here. My mother is with her at our hotel. She was still sleeping, so I left her there. We arrived just after eleven last night, so she was kinda tired." Catherine set the coffee mug down from her hands, motioning towards the baby crawling after the dog. "Ava's getting so big already. I didn't think she would be crawling yet. I thought she'd still be laying around, but the kids got some speed."

"Yeah, she just started pulling herself forwards on her hands, then the next day she was full blown crawling everywhere. She finally figured out how to use her legs. She's starting to stand now too. Not well, but she grabs hold of peoples legs to pull her up or the edge of the coffee table upstairs. I keep wanting to put a helmet on her head because she falls over so much." Sara gave the woman a quick hug, relieved to see a familiar face from her old life. "We've had to put up a few safety gates to stop her getting up the stairs and random pillows to stop her from bumping her head on things. I can't wait until we finally get to move into our house. Where we'll have carpets and not so many stairs." She bent to pick up the jarred fetal pig, stopping her daughter from getting into it.

"How long now?" Catherine queried, taking the jar off her hands, while she tended to her daughter. "He actually brought this thing with him?"

"Oh, yeah... he said it has sentimental value. Hopefully, it'll go in his office when we get to the house." Sara shrugged her shoulders together, getting herself a glass of water to settle her stomach. "As for the house, it might be a few weeks, maybe a month. Grissom's been sorting it. We got keys last week, but the guy he got inspecting the house said there's something wrong with the plumbing. I went to see it the other day, they've torn up all the floors upstairs."

"Oh," Catherine cringed, feeling bad that she had to see her dream home like that. "Not long to go though. Are you ready for today?"

"I hope so. I just hope that Gil likes it."

"He will." Catherine assured her, giving her a warm smile. "The man did always say he liked to be surprised. He will love this surprise, especially because it's from you. It'll be the best surprise of his life... after your daughter of course. I personally can't wait to see his face. So, are we ready to get moving?"

"Yeah." Sara checked the time, making her way towards the stairs again. "Betty is taking care of Ava, so we should be able to get things set up quicker. Where is Betty?"

"Hank had to go." Catherine motioned towards the stairs behind her. "She said she'd be right back. I'll watch Ava for a moment."

"Okay, thank you. Keep her out of the kitchen. She always tries to get into Hank's water bowl and watch her around the chairs. She tried to pull herself up on one last night and almost ended up pulling it on top of her."

"Okay." Catherine called after her, turning her attention towards the baby. She knelt down beside her, adoring her little expression as she curiously examined the toy in front of her. "I hope you know how lucky you are little one."

* * *

Returning home after a long day at work, Grissom struggled to climb the three sets of stairs, finding a posit note stuck to the front door once he reached the top. He brushed the sleep from his eyes, peeling the yellow sticky note off the door.

 _Our future starts now._

Not quite sure what it meant, Grissom jammed his keys in the lock of the door, making his way inside their temporary apartment. He was hoping that they would have moved out by now, but their house was taking a little longer than expected. Turns out their dream home had a few plumbing problems that was hindering their chances of moving in. He meant to stop by to see how much work they had left to do, but he was too tired to head over there now.

"Hello." He called through the apartment, ditching his keys and jacket. "Sara?"

He made his way down the stairs into the kitchen, a little disappointed that there wasn't anything cooking. He wasn't home that much later than usual, but Sara hadn't even left him a plate of food in the fridge or even the microwave. In fact, there wasn't any evidence that anything had been cooked in this kitchen all day.

"Hello... I'm home. Anyone here?"

Climbing the spiral staircase to their bedroom, Grissom expected to find both of his girls curled up in bed with Hank at the end, but even the bedroom was spotless. He found an envelope on his pillow, addressed to him in Sara's handwriting. He feared she had called quits on their whole relationship, leaving him with a letter explaining why. He really didn't want to open it, but if he had been abandoned, he really needed to know the reason.

Tearing open the envelope, Grissom sat himself down on the edge of their bed, unfolding the letter across his lap.

 _Dearest Gil,_

 _You know I love you. I feel as though I've loved you forever._

 _Before I found you, I thought that this was it for me. I thought I would forever be drawn to the darkness, the pain and the loneliness that's surrounded me since the death of my father. I never thought that I was capable of feelings the things that I've felt while being with you._

 _Motherhood certainly wasn't something I had ever thought about. Marriage was even further out of the picture and finding Mr. Right in a world full of pain, cheats and liars seemed like something out of a fairytale._

 _Since you've been there for me, you've helped me see the light. Our life together has been the only real home. The only real family that I've ever had. With your help, I've closed that chapter of my life, looking forward to the future, rather than dwelling on the past. I don't know how to thank you for that, other than to show you how much I love you._

 _There's a suit for you in the closet. Call the number on the back of this letter when you're ready._

 _Everything will be explained shortly._

 _Know that I love you and I always will._

 _Yours always,_

 _Sara._

Grissom scratched his head with confusion a moment, surprised that the suspected goodbye letter read more like a I'll be seeing you soon letter. He flipped it over, seeing the number for a car service on the back. He pushed himself off the bed to open up the closet, finding a brand new suit right where she said it would be.

A crisp white shirt. A soft cream tuxedo jacket with matching trousers and an ivory bow tie.

The only thing that came to mind was that Sara was inviting him to some sort of formal event. He removed his work clothes, grabbing a quick shower, before he dressed himself in the new suit that fit perfectly. He called the number, not entirely sure what to say, but the man on the other end cut him off before he could say anything at all.

 _"I'll be there in five minutes, Mr Grissom."_

Pulling the phone away from his ear as the man hung up, Grissom made a few adjustments to his bowtie, starting to feel his nerves kicking in. The butterflies in his stomach were spiralling out of control. His palms were starting to sweat and the collar to his shirt was starting to feel as though it was strangling him.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting and wondering, the buzzer to his front door finally went. He hurried down the stairs to answer it, hearing the voice of the driver telling him that he was here. Grissom looked around the apartment, feeling a bit lost. He didn't know where he was going or how long he would be. He grabbed his wallet and phone from the bedroom, hurrying back to the front door for his keys, before he made his way outside.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw a blacked out stretch limo outside the apartment building, surprised that it was for him. The driver didn't even ask for his name, he just popped open the back door and let him climb inside. He made sure he didn't crumple his suit as he sat down, finding a small black box with a gold ribbon wrapped around it on the seat beside him. He waited for the driver to close the door, before he opened it up.

His heart immediately dropped.

With his finger and thumb, Grissom plucked out one of the engraved silver cufflinks, holding it under the car light to confirm it. They were both engraved with 'AG'. They belonged to his father, Arthur Grissom. He hadn't seen them in years though. As far as he knew, they were locked up tight in his mother's safety deposit box, but they were definitely the real thing.

Pinching the cuffs of his shirt together, Grissom slotted them into place, anxiously watching the roads the driver was taking. He recognised a few of the streets at first, but then he started driving in a direction that he had never been before.

When the car pulled up to the edge of the forest out in the middle of nowhere, Grissom was sure it was a mistake. The driver shut off the car, pointing him out to the softly lit pathway ahead of them. He hesitantly reached for the door handle, gulping softly as he climbed out of the car. He was sure this was some kind of trap. A former suspect must have tracked him down and planned to do something to him, but then he saw Catherine in the distance. He cautiously made his way towards her, feeling a soft spring breeze caressing his skin.

"Why do I feel as though I've stepped on a stage in front of thousands of people, expected to perform, but I don't know what my lines are?" He asked the woman, noticing she was all dressed up too. He had never seen her in such a beautiful gown before. He couldn't recall ever seeing her in anything formal before.

"Don't worry." Catherine ushered him closer, presenting him with an ivory rose, wrapped in a lavender ribbon. She slotted it into his jacket buttonhole, making a minor adjustment to his bowtie, before she ushered him on ahead. "C'mon Gil, everyone is waiting for you."

He still wasn't quite sure what he was doing out in the middle of nowhere in the dark, but soft lights were leading the way through the woods.

With every crunch of his footsteps, Grissom stepped further and further into the woods, making sure that Catherine was behind him the whole way. Darkness shrouded a curvy narrow pathway, winding its way round the overflowing wild flower beds and tall trees that stretched up to the sky. At the end of the path, the moon gently soaked a beautiful arch way in soft silver light. The sky was a soft dusky rose, illuminating the rows of chairs that seated former colleagues, friends and his mother, all dressed in formal attire.

His mother was almost in tears, holding back her oversized hat as his daughter tried to reach out for it. He hadn't seen his mother wear something so formal in years. Her dress was a soft grey colour with a white overcoat. Even his daughter, Ava was wearing a frilly white princess dress that had a lavender coloured corset to it. She had a rose on her waist and rose headband over her head.

The theme to the occasion was definitely becoming clearer.

After another step, he noticed that the path beneath him no longer crunched with dead leaves or twigs. It had been swept clean, revealing the glistening grass underneath. He felt Catherine's hand slip into his own, giving him a reassuring smile as she led the way down the aisle between the chairs. He still felt a little out of place, but then he noticed his beautiful bride sporting a wide smile on her lips beneath the rose covered arch.

Her hair was beautifully styled with soft waves. A sparkly headband with an ivory rose sat neatly on her head, holding back the silky vale on her head. She was wearing a simple sleeveless wedding gown. The shoulders decorated with soft lace. The dress itself was almost ivory in colour, subtly decorated with floral embroidery. The only colour present was the wild lavender bouquet in her hands.

Grissom perked his ears up to the sound of a harp, noticing the beautiful golden instrument off the to the side, playing 'here comes the bride' in a delicate almost heavenly tone. He spotted Miss Josie standing beside it, giving him a big toothy grin and the thumbs up as he made his way towards his bride.

Feeling so overwhelmed by the whole situation, he immediately felt the need to hug her as soon as he was close enough. She even smelled like lavender. She wasn't even wearing perfume, so it must have been the fresh flowers she was holding.

Grissom pulled back from her after a moment, brushing a tear threatening to spill from his eye. He noticed his former CSIs sat in the first row, all sporting wide grins of their own. Greg's hair was still a little unkempt, but he managed to dull down the Greg vibe a little in a formal suit.

"Hi." Sara spoke softly, getting his attention back. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Grissom beamed a wide smile back at her, taking her hand in his. "Sara, when I got home to an empty house and a letter on my pillow, I thought I had done something to push you away. But for you to plan all of this." He placed his hand over his heart, fighting back the urge to cry. "I'm just so glad that for once my instincts were wrong."

"I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. The darkness of the night represents me and how I've felt my whole life. The moonlight is you, showing me the way to a happier life with our daughter." Sara searched the rows of friends for her mother in law to be, adoring their little girl in her arms. "You've given me so much already, Gil. I wanted to do something for you."

Grissom brushed his thumb across her cheek, swooning like a teenage boy as he looked into her eyes. "I love you, Sara."

Josie appeared in front of them before they could exchange a kiss, sporting a big grin. She opened her sparkly pink wedding planner, addressing their wedding guests. It appeared that she wasn't just a wedding planner, she was an officiant too.

"Thank you all for making the journey here today, or should I say tonight, to witness the marriage of Gilbert Arthur Grissom and Sara Sidle. They have chosen to share this very special moment with all of you, their friends, their family and their co-workers that supported them through this life's journey and who they wish to be surrounded with during this special moment. Today is a celebration of love, of commitment, of friendship and of family. Sara has written her own vows that she would like to share with you."

Pulling a rolled up piece of paper out of her wedding bouquet, Sara gave her husband to be a wide smile, before she breathed in a deep breath. She looked into the man's adorable eyes, reading, "Gil, I have loved you since before I knew you. Just the idea of you is something I have searched for my entire life. Throughout my life, I've felt as though I have an invisible scar. No one else can see it, but I always know that it's there. When I'm with you, I don't feel the scar. I thought that my world would forever be enclosed in darkness, but since I met you, you've shown me the light. I never had a family, a real home or anything to hold onto. You've given me everything I've ever dreamed of and more. I did. I do and I always will choose you."

Grissom felt a little choked up, wondering how he was supposed to top that.

"This day is all for you, Gil. To thank you for everything that you've done for me." Sara spoke softly. "I had some help from Catherine and Nick to plan this day for you, and of course, Josie." She motioned towards the woman sporty the eerie grin beside them. "We got the something old from your father's cufflinks. Something new, your suit, my dress. Something borrowed, your mother said she wants the cufflinks back as soon as we're done here." She cracked a smile, hearing a few laughs in the crowd. "And something blue..."

Sara turned towards Warrick in the crowd, retrieving a small blue jewellery box from him. She gave the man a smile, turning back to her significant other.

"I had your wedding ring engraved with a quote from your favourite writer. The first letter you ever wrote me to tell me how you felt." She popped open the box, handing it over to him. He admired the simple design of the white gold wedding band a moment, before he plucked it out of the box. He turned it towards the candlelight's behind Josie, reading the engraving,

 _'Hear my soul speak: the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service.'_

"Sara." The man felt a little speechless, wishing he had the words to describe how he was feeling, but he could barely manage a smile. "I had no idea that you were doing this."

"You're always spoiling me with romantic gestures, so I wanted to do one for you."

Without any time to prepare, Grissom had to quickly think of something of the top of his head, before he could present her with her own wedding band. Luckily he had picked it out weeks ago and his trusted friend, Doc Al Robbins had thought to bring it to this very ceremony.

"Sara, I don't exactly have anything prepared... but know that I love you unconditionally, without hesitation. You make me happier than I thought I could be. I vow to love you, trust you and be there for you for the rest of my life. As a family, we will create a home filled with love, laughter and compassion... together let us build a brighter life, today and all the days that follow. Whatever life throws at us, know that I am forever yours."

Sara cracked a smile, holding out her shaky hand as he slid the ring across her finger. "Nothing prepared, aye?"

"No comment." He whispered, sporting an equally wide boyish grin across his lips.

Josie gave out an unusual little squeal, before she addressed their friends and family once again. "Now by the power vested in me by the State of California, it is with great honour that I know declare you husband and wife." She smiled at Grissom, her makeup starting to smudge a little with her tears. "You may seal this declaration with a kiss to your bride."

Grissom felt a bit put on the spot in front of everyone from the lab, but he tried to block out their smiling faces, focusing solely on the most beautiful woman stood in front of him. He slipped an arm around her waist, placing the other on her cheek as he brought her into his embrace to seal his first kiss to her lips as her husband.

It was perfect.

"I now present to you our newly married couple, Mr and Mrs Grissom." Josie announced, clanging her jewellery covered wrists together in applause. Their friends and co-workers quickly rose to their feet, applauding loud enough to disturb the sleeping animals of the forest.

Grissom couldn't help but kiss her again, hearing the familiar sound of Catherine whistling. He pulled back to bravely face the crowd, feeling the nerves returning as Sara started to pull him down the make shift aisle. Their friends and former colleagues threw handfuls of flower petals into the air, showering them with the natural scent of wild flowers. He stopped as they reached his mother, sweeping his darling little girl out of her arms. He held her close to his chest, putting his arm around Sara as they continued the rest of their journey.

They were finally united as one.

Grissom had never known perfection like this before. He thought happiness and the opportunity of a family would just pass him by, but Sara had made it all possible. She felt as though she needed to thank him for everything, but really it was him who wanted to thank her.

"So, Mrs Grissom," He held her hand tightly in his own, giving her a warm smile. "Where do we go from here? Anymore surprises lined up for me?"

"Oh no, I'm all out of surprises now. The guys organised us a little after wedding party, whatever you call one of them with some food and stuff." Sara placed her hand over her rumbling stomach, wishing she hadn't skipped out on lunch now. "The car will take us there." She smiled as the man pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I thought for sure you wouldn't show up."

"You know me better than that." He clutched her closer, walking the less frightening trail back to the car with Sara at his side this time. "I was a little surprised that you weren't home. I had a surprise of my own for you." Grissom admitted, adjusting his daughter against his side as she started to fuss. "I think someone is missing her nap." He smiled in awe as the sleepy little girl brushed her hands across her eyes, whimpering softly as she tried to settle against his shoulder.

"Your mother has the stroller in the back of her car. We'll put her in it to sleep while we're eating. Gil, what surprise?" Sara gave him a curious look, seeing his features as they reached the end of the windy path. "Please not another job offer. I don't want to have to move again. We're still living in boxes as it is and we've been here for nearly two or three months. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I don't want to have to up and move our whole lives again."

"Not another job. We're staying put, at least for now." He smiled at her, finding a car ready and waiting for them with a baby seat in the back for their daughter. He watched the driver rushing to open the back door for them, giving Sara a helping hand into the back. He climbed in himself, sitting his sleepy girl between them. She arched herself off the chair with a whimpering cry, settling as her mother fished out a pacifier from her bag.

"Well, are you going to keep me suspense all night, Gil?" Sara waited for an answer, giving him a smile as he finally turned to face her. "C'mon, you know I don't like surprises. What is it?"

"Our plumber got in touch with me earlier. He's replaced the leaky pipes that were dripping through the ceiling of the kitchen. The builders have completely re-plastered the kitchen ceiling now and the floors are being redone upstairs. He said two or three days tops, then we'll be able to move in."

"Two or three days? Wow, that soon." Sara dropped her jaw, holding her daughter's little hand between them. "We're finally getting our own house, Ava. You're gonna have your very own room. You'll have so much room to play. Yeah." She smiled at her little girl as she beamed a wide smile at them. "You know what we should do that would be completely cheesy?" She glanced up at her husband. "You know those family photos that some people have with the all white backgrounds and the cheesy smiles on their lips? We should totally do one of those to hang in the front room. I've already started designing where the furniture will go."

"Who was taking the pictures back there?" He remembered the flashing of the camera, but he was too focused on Sara to see where it was coming from.

"Hodges." Sara confessed, giving him a guilty smile. "He wasn't exactly invited to the wedding ceremony itself and he was a little offended considering his closeness to... you. So, I told him that he hadn't been sent an invitation to the wedding, because we were going to ask him to photograph it for us. He felt honoured, so I had to fire the real one. They were kinda double booked anyway, and he said he'd do it for free because the two of you are such great friends. Why do you ask?"

"When I was a child, I remember my parents had a photo from their wedding day hanging over the mantle. Beneath it they had photos of all their memories. They would always tell me the story behind each one. The mantle was like a display of each chapter of their lives together. We always had photos around the house when I was growing up. The only photos I've had since are ones of Hank. I want to capture real moments of our life to display around our home. Our wedding, our daughter's birth and birthdays. Events that mean something to us."

"Okay." Sara agreed with him, realising that he had been missing out on the benefits of a family all this time too. He had his mother, but he had no other ties to the people in his life before she came along. "We should get some photos of Ava blown up onto those big canvas prints. I'm sure Hodges got a few pictures back there that we could use for our wedding. I only wish we had time to plan a honeymoon, then we could have some photos of that."

"You didn't book one?"

"Well I thought asking you to take some time off work would tip you off to what I was planning." She beamed her perfect beautiful smile in his direction. "Your mother said she'd take care of Ava if we wanted to go, but I don't think I could leave her that long."

"We can take her with us then." He brushed his fingertip across the wedding band on her finger, giving her a warm smile. "A year ago, I felt as though I was losing you. I invited you to stay in the city with the intention on telling you how I really felt about you, but I didn't do anything until you started..."

"To self destruct?" She filled in the blank for him.

"For lack of a better word." The man nodded slightly, gripping her hand a little tighter. "Now here we are a year later, on the day of our wedding with our beautiful daughter. It feels a little surreal. We haven't really had a chance to stop and take a moment to ourselves." He motioned towards the street as the car pulled up outside where they were having dinner. "Before we move into the new house, I'd like us to take a moment to ourselves. Just the three of us. Nick or Catherine can take care of Hank for a little while, he's stayed with them before. Spring break is coming up, so I can take some time off work."

"I knew there was a reason I married you, Mr Grissom." She leant across their daughter, pecking a kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Gil."

"I love you too, my dear."

"C'mon, happy couple." Catherine pulled the door open, beaming a wide smile at them. "Everyone's waiting for you in here. You've got the rest of your lives to be together. I didn't fly all this way for nothing." She reached out for Sara's hand, assisting her out of the car, while Grissom grabbed their daughter. "She isn't asleep yet?"

"Too much excitement to sleep." Grissom lifted her against his chest, pressing a kiss to her little forehead. He pointed her attention towards the water fountain outside the building they were walking into, staying put a moment as she watched it with wide eyes of wonder. "Look at that. Isn't that neat?"

"You got her started on her own science kit yet, Gil?" Catherine grinned at him, ushering them both inside. "C'mon, we saved some seats. Nick and Warrick stayed back to help clean up after the ceremony, so they'll be here in a few. We managed to get just enough seats, but it's a little cramped."

Grissom stepped inside, expecting to find a posh restaurant inside or something, especially from the appearance of the outside. Instead, he was greeted with the appearance of a fifties diner. A waitress on roller skates greeted them with a sunny smile, presenting them with menus filled with greasy food, before she led them through the busy diner to their seats. He grabbed the booth seat closest to the window, letting his bride slide in beside him.

"A diner?" He gave his wife a curious look.

"Yeah, I thought why not stick with a bit of tradition?" Sara lifted her daughter from the man's arms, sitting her on her lap. "Back in Las Vegas, before we were dating, the only real time that we ever got to spend together was after hours in a greasy spoon or a cheap diner close to the lab. We always complained and said that we hated it, but we kept going back... not because of the food or anything, but because it was our safety blanket at the end of a hard shift. Something that would always be there waiting for us. It was like a second home to us." She reached out for his hand, weaving their newly bonded fingers together. "Since we're closing that chapter of our lives now, I figured what better way to do it then with the whole team in one of our traditional places."

Hearing the chime of a fork being hit against something, the two of them looked up, seeing Brass raising his coffee mug to them from the opposite booth.

"We all know why we're gathered here today, so I'll save that part of the speech. Since you didn't actually know about the wedding, I appointed myself your best man, since I've known you a lot longer than the rest of these kids," Brass glanced towards the door, rolling his eyes as their late arrivals quickly came rushing in to find their seats. "I'm sure you'll all agree that today is a welcome relief, especially for the bug man himself. To find such a lovely young woman who can tolerate all your quirks, keep the same hours as you and put up with your science experiments. Sara, take good care of our man. Anyone that's spent any time with you knows how passionate you are about cases. Your family is truly blessed to have you at their side." He gave them both a smile. "If you'd all like to raise your... coffee mugs with me, wishing Mr and Mrs Grissom a long and happy life together. To Gil and Sara."

"Gil and Sara." The others raised their mugs to them, bringing a tear to Sara's eye.

"Oh and a little bit of marital advice, never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight, even if you're up all night. When in doubt, tell the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth," He looked specifically at Grissom, giving him a smile. "And the secret to a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. My wife and I might still be together if she stuck to that one."

"Thank you, Jim." Grissom raised his empty coffee mug towards the man, wondering if he was on the liquor already.

"What's wrong, baby girl? No, don't cry." Sara gently rocked her daughter in her arms. "Betty, did you bring, Skipper?"

The woman grabbed her purse off the booth beside her, digging out the butterfly for her grandchild. She smiled as the cuddly toy worked like a charm, settling her as soon as she had her little hands on it. She lifted her sleepy grandchild across the table when their food arrived, giving Sara a chance to finally eat some real food after a long day filled with excitement and anxiety.

"Just a few words, if you'll allow me," Warrick ditched the jacket to his suit on his booth, getting the waitress to top up his empty coffee mug. "I don't know a whole lot about marriage or fathers, but if there's one thing that Grissom has taught me, it's that we try our best whatever the situation. My father was never around for me, but Grissom has taught me to try and be a better person in spite of everything that he was. I really wish I had a father like Grissom that was there for me, but I know that Ava and Sara need him more." He raised his coffee mug in Sara's direction, giving her a warm smile so she knew that there were no hard feelings anymore. "I know that really this isn't an end for any of us, it's just the beginning and I wish you luck for the future. To the future."

"To the future." Everyone raised their mugs.

"On that note," Nick playfully pushed his friend aside, raising his own cup of coffee to them. "I didn't exactly have anythin' prepared, so I googled quotes that Grissom tends to come up with on cases and found one from Alfred A. Montapert that pretty much sums you two up." He unfolded the piece of paper from his shirt pocket, clearing his throat, before he looked up at the two of them. "The man or woman you really love will never grow old to you. Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, you will always see the dear face and feel the warm heart union of your eternal love."

Grissom smiled proudly at the younger man, before he turned to look at his wife beside him. "To the next chapter, my dear."

 **The End**

* * *

 **That is well and truly the final chapter of this story 'Duel For Love'! I hope you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Big thank you to those of you who continued to give me feedback throughout. I think I've taken this story as far as I wanted to. No plans for a sequel, but I may post some one-shots in the distant future :) Currently I don't have any more GSR stories in the works, but you never know when an idea will come up, so stay tuned for more in the future.**

 **I want to give a few shout outs to readers/reviewers... RAD092515, deniseaimee, nerdyfangirl74656, psugirl94, wwareham1, ElisaFanofSlashes, 2cool4uso, Becca06, Kimberly, CasketAddict1993, Desaflor, Gilbertgal7, ILoveJorja, aninom, bonnielass89, breathegsr, easypenname, idrc13, kety scott, kibbsalways, mslm90, mvmorarb, ninthwardgurl05, pinkandpurplecherryblossom, stefanialilly, thegirlinflat4a, ediebella, tazleia, gsrfan34, gsrmaniac, aninha.k, was spratlurid quimby, gsrmaniac0417, Ziver69, delita0204, Marie, Kim, Sara, gsrlover1, Guest (GSR Always!) for all your support of this story.**

 **Thanks to everyone else who followed, favourited and reviewed. It's very much appreciated. If you liked this GSR story of mine and you haven't already checked out my other ones, make sure you give them a read too... Make Shift Family ~ Boys Take a wife, Daughters are for Life ~ A Broken Heart ~ Brown Eyes ~ You Made Me ~ Battle of Love ~ One-Shot series... Story Time at the Grissoms ~ Home to a Mess ~ No Place Like Home ~ Having A Baby ~ Report Due ~ Having Another Baby ~ Research Assistant**

 **Thanks so much for reading! Please do let me know what you thought!**

 **Enjoy the rest of your week.**

 **GSR Forever!**

 **~ Holly**


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